Category: School Life

Half Term, Then Three More Weeks At Alleyn’s With Little To Say About School, Late October To Late November 1975

Alleyn’s School in 1922- OK it wasn’t THAT long ago

I really was saying very little in my diaries at that time, apart from documenting my TV viewing, which perhaps hold some interest for some readers.

I was clearly still enjoying drama and tried to enjoy CCF, despite not really being the type. I vaguely recall being made to try a bit of rugby that year, which I absolutely hated and Alleyn’s was in fact ill equipped to play. I think it was an experiment based on the notion that, once the school went co-ed, its chances of shining at football would be much diminished.

I recall trying to avoid house rugby as much as possible by playing fives whenever I could, but I had obviously resolved almost to stop writing about my sporting activities that term.

I wasn’t listening to much popular music that year, either. But the following song was an earworm then and can become an earworm again for you if you let it. It does remind me of that time and brings some of the vague memories back.

Listen while you skim my almost content-free diary entries. You’ll need something to stimulate the senses.

Sunday, 26 October 1975– Classes OK. Went to Felds. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday 27 October 1975 – nice day. TV Goodies, Waltons, Ghost Story.

Tuesday 28 October 1975 – OK, had haircut. Benny Hill great. Dr No!!! [This was the first time that film was shown on UK television, so it will have seemed like a big deal. Hence the exclamation marks!!!]

Wednesday, 29 October 1975 – went to Grandma Jenny. TV Carry On Cleo, Rule Britannia, Cooper, Face the music.

Thursday, 30 October 1975 – all OK. $6 million man, Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 31 October 1975 – mum went to hospital. Bonfire. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 1 November 1975 – all OK. Went with “Auntie” Winifred [neighbour] with dogs. TV Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Sunday 2 November 1975 – classes OK, lunch at Felds, mum and dad went out.

Monday 3 November 1975 – went back to school. TV Goodies, Waltons.

Tuesday, 4 November 1975 – all OK TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 5 November 1975 – good speaker? TV Carry On Screaming, Cooper, Face The Music, Till Death Us Do Part.

Thursday, 6 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Ken Dodd, Get Some In, Q6.

Friday, 7 November 1975 – OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 8 November 1975 – OK. TV Doctor Who, Basil Brush, Dick Emery, early night

Sunday, 9 November 1975 – classes play. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs, FBI Story.

Monday 10 November 1975 – all OK TV, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 11 November 1975 – swimming good. TV film good James Garner, Debbie Reynolds [How Sweet It Is (1968)].

Wednesday, 12 November 1975 – lecture. CCF good. TV Carry On Spying, Cooper, Rule Britannia, Face The Music.

Thursday 13 November 1975 – drama good. TV $6 million man and Get Some In Q6 is rotten.

Friday, 14 November 1975 – music good. TV Invisible Man, Pot Black, Porridge.

Saturday, 15 November 1975 – school. After Grandma Anne. TV Dick Emery, Kojak

Sunday, 16 November 1975 – went to Southend. Dined at El Cordola. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 17 November 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Odie v good, Waltons – a goodie goodie program.

Tuesday, 18 November 1975 – got cold. TV Big Film – platinum robbery [The Biggest Bundle Of Them All], Musical Time Machine.

Wednesday, 19 November 1975 – all OK. Mum and Dad went out. TV Superstars and Cooper, played Monopoly. [Unnamed babysitter will have been one of the Aarons youngsters, almost certainly].

Thursday, 20 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Get Some In, Q6, Miss World, Fiddler onto recorder. [That will be Cyril Barnet’s recording of Fiddler On the Roof in Yiddish.]

Friday, 21 November 1975 evening rows. [Must have been a family gathering at Grandma Anne’s I think. Unless we had our own mini domestic. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Pot Black, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 22 November 1975 – exeat. Morning table tennis [that must be at Andy Levinson’s place]. Evening saw Iolanthe. [Was this at school or was it at Sadler’s Wells? I can find no reference to it in Scriblerus, nor in a press search for autumn 1975 come to that].

I could use a bit of help with writing up this period. Any memories from people who were in my orbit at that time will be gratefully received.

Four Term Time Weeks: Little Of Note Except For Mystery Operations & Leaflets With Mr Jenkins & Controversy Over Controversy, Late September To Late October 1975

Operations? Leaflets? It could only be Mr Jenkins.

I’m hoping that some of my Alleyn’s schoolmates can disambiguate the handful of words in this four week period that might refer to interesting stuff going on at school. Frankly, I’m flummoxed.

Here’s the transcript of my multi-coloured scribbles, mostly documenting my TV viewing, but the passing comments on goings on at school might trigger some memories.

Sunday, 28 September 1975 – Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Just in case anyone wants an explainer for the quirky eatery that was Feld’s – here’s one I wrote earlier.

A Few Days In London Between Keele & Manchester, 14 to 19 December 1980

Monday 29 September 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 30 September 1975 – went swimming. Got cold. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 1 October 1975 – uneventful day. CCF.

Thursday, 2 October 1975 – did operation leaflet. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 3 October 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 4 October 1975 – Exeat. TV Generation Game, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 5 October 1975 – went to classes. In top class.

Monday, 6 October 1975 – OK. TV Goodies, My Son Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 7 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday, 8 October 1975 – CCF terrible. -> Callow?. It’s A Knockout best day.

Thursday, 9 October 1975 – drama good. TV Two Ronnie, Man About The House, Morecombe and Wise.

Friday, 10 October 1975 – all OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fawlty Towers.

Saturday, 11 October 1975 all OK. TV big film / Bad Day At Black Rock, Dick Emery.

Sunday, 12 October 1975.– Went to Angela and John’s for tea.

Monday, 13 October 1975 – had more slides from Jenkins. TV Goodies, Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 14 October 1975 – uneventful. Swimming good.

Wednesday, 15 October 1975 – OK. Corps very good. TV It’s a Knockout Final – we came fifth.

Thursday, 16 October 1975 – OK. Delivered leaflets. TV Two Ronnies, Get Some In and Morcombe & Wise.

Friday, 17 October 1975 – speech day, half day. TV Invisible Man, Liver Birds, PC Penrose.

Saturday, 18 October 1975 – OK. TV [Secret Of The] Incas, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 19 October 1975 – classes. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 20 October 1975 – TV Goodies, Waltons, Controversy.

Tuesday, 21 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan and the Fountain of Youth.

Wednesday, 22 October 1975 – CCF good. TV Carry On Doctor, Rule Britannia, Tommy Cooper & Face The Music.

Thursday, 23 October 1975 – drama good, TV Two Ronnies (last in series), Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 24 October 1975 – field day (CCF) TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge, Fawlty Towers

Saturday 25 October 1975 Half term. TV Basil Brush, Doctor Who, Bruce Forsyth, Film [Judith], Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Here’s my list of questions:

  • what do I mean by “operation leaflet” on 2 October, “had more slides from Jenkins” on 13 October and “delivered leaflets” on 16 October?;
  • who was “Callow” – who seems to be the source of my feeling terrible about CCF that day? Parenthetically, I sense that CCF was not for me, but my dad will have told me to “man up” about it, which resulted in me trying to make the most of it after that.

As for Controversy, I remember those programmes. They were compulsory viewing in our household. Here’s a link to an explainer. I have embedded the clip below.

The thing I remember more than anything else about this Controversy programme was my mother’s obsessive hatred of anyone pronouncing that word “contro-versy” rather than, as she asserted, the proper pronunciation, “controver-sy”. I still wouldn’t dare pronounce it the “wrong” way, even to this day – that would be too controversial by far.

Welcome To 3BJ, The First Three Weeks Of My Third Year At Alleyn’s, Ending With My First Sighting Of Fawlty Towers, 7 to 27 September 1975

Mike Jones ponders our imminent arrival in his class – thanks Mike for the photo

I’ve been finding it difficult to start writing up my third year at Alleyn’s; 1975/1976. My diary for the 1974/1975 academic year was full of juicy details of my activities.

But it seems, after all the excitement of my 1975 summer, I returned to school in September 1975 in a different mood – at least in the matter of keeping my diary. I’m needing to rely more on my fading memory for this period of my life and hope for some informed comment from readers.

For example, whereas I wrote down the “cast list” for my 1S and 2AK years, I had “grown out of” doing that by the 3BJ era – which is a blithering shame.

Also, I think I was under the parental…by which I mean maternal…cosh, having made a mess of my year end exams that summer and finding myself in a B stream class. “Get the back up to the A stream,” was the familial message, with some new rules at home to encourage homework and discourage loafing.

You wouldn’t have messed with my mum either. Cruel spectacles.

I’m not convinced that sparse diarising was entirely necessary in my mission to do better at school that year. But the diarising was more sparse and the school results were better.

Here are the first three weeks of September:

I realise that most of that is beyond legibility and/or interpretation, so here goes with my best efforts.

Sunday, 7 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year, day two in this instance].

Monday, 8 September 1975 – uneventful day.

Tuesday, 9 September 1975 – last day [of school holidays. Not the end of the world.] Stuart and Andy [both from our street – Stuart Harris was not a relation and was a Whitgiftian, Andy Levinson was a fellow Alleyn’s pupil].

Wednesday, 10 September 1975 – first day [of school]. 3BJ. Mr Jones.

Thursday, 11 September 1975–1st proper day at school.

Friday, 12 September 1975 – school good. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 13 September 1975 – school morn. After library. TV Gambit, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 14 September 1975 – Kol Nidre [evening prayers to herald the Day of Atonement] in evening.

Monday, 15 September 1975 – Yom Kippur [Day of Atonement].

Tuesday, 16 September 1975 – catching up only today.

Wednesday, 17 September 1975 – uneventful day. Good results school.

Thursday, 18 September 1975 – more good results. TV $6 million man, Two Ronnies, Man About The House.

Friday, 19 September 1975 – uneventful day. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Stanley Baxter III.

Saturday, 20 September 1975 – school morning. TV Generation Game.

Sunday, 21 September 1975 – no classes. Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 22 September 1975 – school OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons etc.

Tuesday, 23 September 1975 – did swimming good. Telepathy. TV Pink Panther

Wednesday, 24 September 1975 – swimming. Went to Aviv meeting [one of mum’s charities. I cannot imagine why I went with her, unless dad had something on that evening and mum didn’t want to fork out for a sitter!].

Thursday, 25 September 1975. Got CCF [Combined Cadet Force] kit. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 26 September 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fosters Tower [sic – that can only be Fawlty Towers]

Saturday, 27 September 1975 – school morning. TV Dick Emery, Kojak.

Hard to believe that I didn’t even register the name Fawlty Towers correctly when I first saw it.

It was the episode about The Builders and I remember it tickling me no end. My parents didn’t like it much. Dad found Basil Fawlty irritating, reminding him of some of the twerps he had to deal with in running his business. You can decide for yourselves, if you hadn’t made up your minds already – see embed below.

An Uneventful Week (Apart From Watching The Test) Before Starting My Third Year At Alleyn’s, 1 to 6 September 1975

So much wrong with that technique – but the enthusiasm is there for all to see

After all the excitement of my summer, I went into a very subdued diary mood for some weeks/months after our return.

This diary page, which covers the week between returning from Europe and school restarting, sets the tone.

It barely needs transcribing, but I am a diligent transcriber:

Monday, 1 September 1975 settled in. Watched test. Went to library. [TV] Angels, The High Chaparral.

Tuesday, 2 August 1975 – uneventful day. TV Tarzan, New York, Quo Vadis.

Wednesday, 3 August 1975 – uneventful

Thursday, 4 September 1975 – uneventful

Friday, 5 September 1975 – uneventful

Saturday, 6 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year].

I think we need to do some more forensics on that cricket photo. Here’s a link to the test match scorecard. The umpires were Tom Spencer and Dickie Bird (whom I had the honour and pleasure to meet once – some 40 years after the events of this piece):

A Visit To Leeds For Yorkshire v Middlesex, Headingley, 8 to 10 June 2015

I’m 98% sure that the umpire on the TV screen is Tom Spencer and I’m 100% sure that the wicket-keeper was Rod Marsh, who kept all day that Monday.

The unmistakable stoopy stance of Umpire Spencer on the TV screen.

But who batting? Yes, me, obviously, in front of the screen. I mean on the screen. I have narrowed it down to being John Snow or Barry Wood and I think the answer is John Snow. Cricket lovers – chime in with your thoughts.

It was an unusual match, as they had put aside six days for that Oval test match, used all six but still ended up with a draw.

I sense that even I lost interest after a burst of watching (and having my photo taken), probably quite early on the Monday.

Anyone know what game this is/was?

As an only child, one of my favourite pastimes was working out how to play solitaire versions of the board games in my collection. I have no idea what this game was, let alone how I had worked out a solitaire version of it. My favourite solitaire game was my very own version of Cluedo – the conceit of the solitaire version is long-since forgotten but I remember being fascinated by it for some while.

I suspect that the test match was on the TV while I was indulging in this additional activity. In that respect, I don’t suppose I have changed much, although the additional activity has changed.

As for the TV viewing – I don’t remember the TV drama Angels about student nurses at all. But I certainly remember The High Chaparral. My dad was very keen on it too. Do you fancy getting the theme tune stuck in your head – only click the YouTube embed if you do.

On rehearing The High Chaparral theme, it sounds very much like Joe Meek’s extraordinary instrumental Telstar (famously performed by the Tornados), in the style of Elmer Bernstein’s wonderful theme music for The Magnificent Seven.

I learn, on doing a little further research, that the resemblance between The High Chaparral theme and Telstar has been discussed at length over the decades. One surprising thing, to me, is that I didn’t notice the similarity when Paul Deacon first played me Telstar, which must have been around or very soon after my High Chaparral watching era.

Ironically and tragically, Joe Meek never saw the royalties for Telstar, as a French composer, Jean Ledrut, sued Meek for plagiarism – without success but to some extent understandably – on account of La Marche d’Austerlitz.

Meek died just three weeks before that law suit was found in his favour. Thus he never got a chance to test his own claim against David Rose, who composed The High Chaparral theme, if indeed Meek would have chosen to try such a claim.

Thoughts on these matters will, as always, be much appreciated, whether from my contemporaries or indeed from anyone who stumbles across this page and has a view on any of these topics.

Getting Ready To Go On Holiday After My Big Day, 11 to 16 August 1975

It seems I spent a fair bit of time with Andy Levinson in the few days between my Bar Mitzvah and going on holiday. Here’s the transcript of the headline picture’s diary scribble

Monday, 11 August 1975 – Andy all day. TV Star Trek, My Honourable Mrs, Yuri Geller and psycho film.

Actually the “psycho film” was Pressure Point with Bobby Darin & Sidney Poitier:

Tuesday, 12 August 1975 – Andy morning. TV Tarzan. Uncle Dick in the evening.

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Uncle Dick! He wasn’t my uncle, but was, I think, next door neighbour Rose Beech’s brother. Very nice chap who had been a POW during the war and needed careful feeding as a result. I’m guessing the the Beeches went away straight after my Bar Mitzvah and mum promised to feed Dick at least once in the days before we also went away.

It was that sort of neighbourliness in that area in those days.

Wednesday, 13 August 1975 – uneventful day. All OK.

Thursday, 14 August 1975 – went to West End to get tickets.

Friday 15 August 1975 – fired Jeanette. Went to Grandma Anne’s.

What on earth can “fired Jeanette” mean? I can only surmise that she was our cleaner for a short while, as I have no recollection of her. Mrs Nugent “Nu-Nu” was our cleaner for many years – most of childhood, followed by Mrs Main who also stuck with mum (and vice versa) for donkey’s years. I’ll guess that Jeanette was one that didn’t work out between the two I remember.

Just to be clear, it will not have been me who did the firing. It will have been mum. I just dutifully recorded the HR proceedings in my diary.

Saturday 16 August 1975 – uneventful. Preparation. TV [Sgt.] Bilko and Crown Court.

I don’t mention watching Days One to Three of the Headingley test, but I know I watched some of it. On the Saturday, Bilko was on the TV before the start of play; Crown Court after stumps. What else would I have done on an uneventful day?

The reason I am sure I saw some of it is that I recall my sense of horror when I learnt, on holiday, what had occurred while I was away from the match after those first three days. England looked very well placed at that stage.

Trigger warning: only look at the final scorecard – linked here – if you are sufficiently robust and/or if word of this ridiculous denouement has reached you previously.

My Very Brief Junior Career As A Limbo Dancer, The Peacock Club, 10 August 1975

This event came to me as a memory flash while in e-conversation with Rohan Candappa in December 2020 on the topic of that “limbo period” between Christmas and New Year. Rohan pointed out:

Limbo is a strangely schizophrenic word. It’s either a time when nothing is going on, or the most extreme dance you can imagine.

Suddenly it all came flooding back to me. The dinner & dance the day after my Barmitzvah. The Peacock Club in Streatham. The limbo dancer my parents arranged as entertainment for said evening. My limbo dancing “career”, not just remembered but I knew for sure that I have photographs.

Why the choice of limbo dancer for a Barmitzvah party? The answer to that question is truly lost in the mists of time. Some would suggest that it was a very “South London” choice. Others that it was an inappropriate choice steeped in cultural appropriation.

My guess is that someone dad knew through his photographic shop business was connected with the charming young lady in question.

Dorothy.

I know that she is/was named Dorothy because the pictures in my parent’s memory book / photo album have clearly been labelled “Dorothy”.

[Infantile readers may insert their own version of the joke revolving around the idea that “Ian was a friend of Dorothy when he was thirteen years old” here.]

Dorothy [Thinks]: What a funny little boy he is.
Ian [Thinks]: I could be in here…whatever “being in” might be.

Dorothy showed us how it should be done.

Steve Lytton was one of several people who had a go. Unfortunately for him, his photo survived and has lived peacefully in my parent’s memory book for 45 years and counting:

Friends from the neighbourhood and school might recognise Andy Levinson in the background of the above and following picture. He’s hiding behind is mum. It seems he didn’t have a go at limbo dancing.

My technique showing real promise there. If only I had persevered with the practice, I could have been a contender.

Then Dorothy started to show off.

I mean, really, was that completely necessary?

Seriously, I do remember Dorothy being sweet with me and making the whole event feel special. She was clearly very talented at limbo dancing.

One day I’ll write up other aspects of my Barmitzvah. Sadly, for lovers of music and theology, there is a recording of me singing my rite of passage passage and I’ll feel Ogblog-honour bound to upload it, if only for the sake of completeness.

Anyway, the limbo dancing was great fun. Dad clearly felt that he had pulled off a blinder by booking Dorothy…

…while mum did far more dancing than was good for her, just three months after having a hip replacement:

Update/Footnote Post Publication

I managed to track down and get in touch with Steve Lytton after publishing this piece – it seemed only polite to let him know that his youthful limbo dancing efforts were now in the public domain.

It was really nice to catch up with Steve and e-chat after so many years.

One thing that Steve said solved at least part of the “why a limbo dancer at my Barmitzvah party” mystery:

…what a coincidence. We had a limbo dancer at MY Barmitzvah party…

…said Steve. The penny dropped. We had a limbo dancer at my celebration because I/we had so much enjoyed the limbo dancer at his, a year or so earlier. So the question now really should be, “why did Steve have a limbo dancer at his Barmitzvah party?” Or maybe it was simply the fashion for such parties at that time.

A Bit More Outdoor Activity Ahead Of My Big Day, 3 to 8 August 1975

Common people – Tooting Commons

It seems that I got out a bit more in the days running up to the day of my Bar Mitzvah. Just as well, as it was a heatwave week apparently. It seems that the Levinson family had been away for a couple of weeks and had now returned.

Sunday, 3 August 1975 – Uneventful. More presents, dined at Chippy. Grandma Anne and Andrew [Levinson] came home today.

Monday, 4 August 1975 – played with Andy [Levinson]. Dentist – no trouble. TV Star Trek, My Honourable Mrs, Hiroshima.

Tuesday, 5 August 1975 – Andy morning, afternoon uneventful. Test draw. TV Test and Inspector Clouseau.

Day Five of that test match cannot have been exciting viewing and must have been disappointing for little me.

Wednesday, 6 August 1975 – went to Brixton and Grandma Jenny. TV The Shadow, The Rough and the Smooth. Four pressies.

I have no recollection of the sitcom The Rough and the Smooth. That might be a telling fact about it.

Thursday, 7 August 1975 – went to Box Hill, private swimming pool etc. Ida trouble. TV All in the Family.

I have a very vague memory of being taken out by Uncle Manny & Auntie Ida that day. I think the “trouble” resulted because they didn’t drop me back to our house but expected me to walk home from their place, about 15-20 minutes walk, which resulted in my mum having a bit of a hissy about that.

The irony of seeing a programme “All in the Family” after that is not wasted on me. I don’t think that sitcom found much favour in our household either.

Friday, 8 August 1975 – common in morning. Flowers to shule in afternoon / shule evening. Still a heatwave.

Creative Avoidance During The School Holidays, With Alan Cooke, William Gilbert, Arthur Sullivan & The Telly, Not Least The Ashes: Last Two Weeks Of July 1975

Shouldn’t you be doing…something else, Harris?

This period of the summer of 1975 is the first documented example of my unquestionably masterful deployment of creative avoidance…that thing otherwise known as procrastination.

My Bar Mitzvah (the Jewish coming of age ritual) was coming up on 9 August. I was all-but grounded by my mum – I should imagine in part to focus on my preparation and in part for fear of misfortune befalling me ahead of the big day.

This is how I occupied myself:

I know you need a transcript with explanations, dear, reader, just give me a moment…

Sunday, 20 July 1975 – [Hebrew classes] prize day. Got best pupil cup! I am the greatest. Went to Makro. Two hour wait.

It was quite a surprise to win a star pupil prize at Brixton cheder. More than a year earlier, I had confessed to the Rabbi that I didn’t believe in God and wondered whether, in those circumstances, it was appropriate for me to progress with my Bar Mitzvah. Rabbi Ginsbury “explained” that it was. That story is told in this linked piece – here and below:

“Freed At Last, Freed At Last…”: Brixton Cheder In Early 1974

Monday 21 July 1975 – uneventful. Did some recording etc. TV Star Trek, My Honourable Mrs.

Tuesday 22 July 1975 – more recording. Uneventful.

Wednesday 23 July 1975 – Alan [Cooke] came. Lovely day. TV BA and LC [Bud Abbot & Lou Costello] in The Noose Hangs High

Well done, Cookie. You were clearly deemed to be safe enough company, at least if you came over to our place, for me to have some respite from my Bar Mitzvah preparations…not that I see any sign of preparations in the diary.

The phrase “lovely day” tells me that this must have been a real highlight for me during that period. I suspect that we spent some of the time playing that makeshift game of ours, where we set up Hot Wheels tracks and flat pack cowboy town houses, using the hot wheels cars to demolish the houses. We brought new meaning to the term “creative destruction”. Such a shame we couldn’t video our activities on smart phones in those days – those Hot Wheels demolition runs must have looked so cool…

…which is more than can be said, most likely, for the Abbot and Costello film. That pairing never did, for me, what Laurel & Hardy and/or The Marx Brothers could do.

Thursday, 24 July 1975 – went to Brixton. Had haircut. Saw Grandma Jenny.

Friday 25 July 1975 – uneventful day. More recording. TV Mahler’s 8th and Ten from the Twenties.

That broadcast of Mahler’s 8th, which was the first night of the Proms that year, was a memorably big deal in our household. It was a simultaneous broadcast on TV and stereo radio, which dad was very keen to experience to the full. I do recall my mother’s verdict on Mahler – I paraphrase:

not for me – too much going on. Mahler is music for culture vultures.

You can judge for yourselves, as the recording of that very concert is available on YouTube:

Saturday 26 July 1975 – shule in morning. Shopping afternoon. TV Crown Court.

Sunday, 27 July 1975 – went to Makro. Got typewriter and paper. TV Italians, Robin Hood.

That very first typewriter of mine, which was not of the highest quality, played an essential role in my clandestine “career” as a gossip columnist at Keele several years later:

The Immaculate Conception Of H. Ackgrass: At Keele With Pete Wild & On Merseyside With Bobbie Scully, Early January 1984

Monday 28 July 1975 – cleared out room. TV Star Trek, My Honourable Mrs, The Happy Catastrophe.

Tuesday 29 July 1975 – went shopping in morning, got more WSG and ASS [William S Gilbert & Arthur S Sullivan] records. TV Time Detective, Al Jolsen.

Wednesday, 30 July 1975 – had haircut, more WSG and ASS. Two presents, all okay.

I had almost forgotten about my obsession with Gilbert & Sullivan that summer. I am sure that it was partly distraction activity from what must have felt like a trial by July, i.e. the impending “trial by ordeal” of my Bar Mitzvah, but also because I had enjoyed school productions such as Trial By Jury and knew that my parents were warm to the material too.

I wasn’t buying the records – heaven forbid – I was borrowing them from the library and scraping them onto tape. I was also reading about the Gilbert & Sullivan genre and memorising some of the patter songs. The evolution of my taping habit can be seen on the following sheet. The labours of that fortnight being tapes 8 to 14:

Thursday, 31 July 1975 watched cricket – England collapse and come back. WSG & ASS. Routine.

Did I mean that England’s batting collapse was routine? Or that England’s batting collapsing and then coming back was routine? Or that me doing more taping and memorising of Gilbert & Sullivan material was now routine?

Actually there was nothing routine about that second Ashes Test, which was at Lord’s.

I wouldn’t have realised it at the time, but the unusually long time it took for debutant David Steele to appear at the crease when the first wicket fell, was due to his getting lost in the pavilion, on his way from the home dressing room to the Long Room, by descending further than he should have done into the basement.

That is one of my favourite Lord’s stories – a location/anecdote that I point out as a matter of course to any guest that I am showing around the Lord’s pavilion. Which is something I do with some regularity these days. Routine in fact.

Friday, 1 August 1975 – watched cricket – England OK. WSG & ASS of course.

Saturday 2 August 1975 – went to shule. Found dad’s watch. Heatwave.

Dad was good at mislaying watches. The 1975 “reported incident” will have been his beloved Omega watch. But I remember he had a “scientific” watch that he hid before going on holiday in the mid 1970s (perhaps 1975 or 1976) and never found again. Janie and I discovered it in his “muck room” (workshop) when clearing the house in 2012!

I have asked Gemini what the weather was like in London on 2 August 1975. It replied:

On 2 August 1975, London was at the beginning of a significant heatwave, with temperatures widely reaching around 32°C (89.6°F) by that date or shortly after.

Things were certainly hotting-up a week before my Bar Mitzvah.

But where in my diary is any mention of me preparing, other than going to shule on the Saturday mornings leading up to the big day? Presumably, in my 12-and-a bit year-old, secular mind, the words and music of WS Gilbert and Arthur S Sullivan were ample preparation for Hebrew recitative from the testaments.

“A wandering minstrel, I, a thing of shreds and patches…”

The First Week Of The School Summer Holidays, 13 to 19 July 1975

Yes, I know, you can’t read it. I’ll transcribe it below. Not a lot went on. My main purpose for the next few weeks was to be ready for my Bar Mitzvah, which was a big thing. Between times, it seems I did a lot of taping and watching television and not much going outside and enjoying the summer.

Sunday, 13 July 1975 – classes good. Played boule with dad. TV West Side Story.

Monday 14 July 1975 went to West End. Had bar mitzvah test. Passed with flying colours. TV Star Trek, My Honourable Mrs.

Tuesday, 15 July 1975 – classes good. Last lesson with Morris. TV The Gold Diggers of 1935.

Wednesday, 16 July 1975 played with Andy. Made more recordings. Got a case. Deciding holiday.

Thursday, 17 July 1975 – made more recordings, TV Apollo – Soyuz link up – landmark, Three Comedies of Marriage.

Friday, 18 July 1975 – another uneventful day. Went to Uncle Cyril [next door], more tapes etc, TV Main Chance.

Saturday 19 July 1975 – went to shule in morning. Uneventful afternoon. TV The Jokers, Crown Court.

The tapes I was making, colluding with “Uncle” Cyril Barnett next door, were a mixture of gramophone records and reel-to-reel tapes of his.

One box set of gramophone records comprised a collection: Herbert Von Karajan Karajan Conducts The Popular Classics. I taped the whole collection apart from:

  • those items I already had (I had been given a box set of Tchaikovsky Ballet Suites for my Bar Mitzvah)
  • Mozart’s Ave Verum Corpus, which my mum would have deemed inappropriate – not least for a kid who was about to have his Bar Mitzvah. Mum’s attempts to dissuade me from Christian sacred music failed dismally, as my interest in early music (although not religion per se) blossomed later, but that’s another set of stories.

Here is a link to a YouTube Music playlist of the von Karajan collection as I recorded it (i.e. in the sequence I recorded the items)

The other material mostly comprised albums from musicals of the 1960s. I’ll trawl my lists for those and playlist them separately. One of them, I recall, was Fiddler on the Roof sung in Yiddish, which pleased Grandma Anne no end. It does sound appropriate (albeit a bit weird to the untrained ear) given the context of the musical. It occurs to me, of course, that you can find pretty much anything on YouTube music, and of course that obscure thing was no exception. Here’s a link if you are curious – I’ll listen to it some other time, for old time’s sake – although I think this recording is a more recent album.

Breaking Up Isn’t Hard To Do: The Last Week Of Term In My 2AK Year At Alleyn’s, 6 to 12 July 1975

Me & Grandma Anne A Few Weeks Later

So much happened in that week, which was the last of my second year at Alleyn’s. Here’s the diary page.

Naturally, readers are already writing in to complain that they cannot read my scribble, even though I haven’t even finished writing up this piece yet. Here’s a transcript:

Sunday, 6 July 1975 – Went to classes. Grandma Anne gave me £100. Great.

Monday, 7 July 1975 – more relaxing. Fives good. TV Sportstown, Star Trek, Waltons, Horizon.

Tuesday, 8 July 1975 – classes good. No bar mitzvah class. Uneventful.

Wednesday, 9 July 1975 – we won cricket. I got a hat-trick and eight runs. TV The Ascent of Man.

Thursday, 10 July 1975 – classes good. Picking up mix-up. TV Jacques Cousteau, Comedy of Marriage.

Friday, 11 July 1975 – broke up from school hurrah. TV Walt Disney, Celebrity Knockout. England flop in first test.

Saturday 12 July 1975 – shule in the morning, Andrew in the afternoon. Aussies dish out more punishment. Susan’s wedding.

£100 was a princely sum in those days. This was my bar mitzvah present. Of course I was allowed nowhere near it – straight into a savings account where it probably ended up making a small but significant contribution to the first deposit I made on a flat nearly a quarter-of-a-century later.

Still, no wonder I have a dreamy expression on my face in the headline photo, which was taken at the bar mitzvah party a few weeks later. I have previously written up one quirky aspect of that party. It was Candappa’s fault, sir…

My Very Brief Junior Career As A Limbo Dancer, The Peacock Club, 10 August 1975

I have also previously written up my hat trick taking heroics in the cricket at Alleyn’s school. A relatively common topic of my conversation, even 50 years later, when talking about my own cricket playing “career”…because there’s not much else of note to talk about.

The Day I Took A Hat Trick At Cricket, Alleyn’s School, 9 July 1975

The phrase, “broke up from school hurrah” sounds like something out of a Billy Bunter book and doesn’t read like me – but it does indicate my enthusiasm for that Alleyn’s school year to have ended – an annus mirabilis (by my standards) in sport but annus horribilis academically.

I had been eagerly anticipating the opportunity to follow England in the 1975 Ashes. I had not fully engaged with cricket aged 9/10 when Australia had previously visited, in 1972. By 1975, I was a proper cricket-mad youngster.

The remarks “England flop” and “Australia dish out more punishment” read like headlines from tabloid newspapers that I couldn’t possibly have seen. Here’s a link to the scorecard from that first test.

I suspect that I spent more time than was good for me watching that cricketing road crash unfold in slow motion. 50 years later, I realise that my habits, in that regard, have not changed much.

I didn’t much follow popular music back then, but I do recall that Van McCoy’s The Hustle was riding high in the charts that summer and was my earworm around the time we broke up from school.

Can you listen to and watch the following vid without trying some of the moves and getting the whole tune stuck in your head as an earworm? Of course you can’t.