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Photo by Bananaflo, GPL via Wikimedia Commons

Another action-packed seasonal outing and dinner for the Z/Yen team that year. Linda seems to have taken charge of proceedings by 2003, no longer describing herself as “assistant social secretary” to me, as she had in 2002.

The following note to the team also provides evidence that Secret Santa was first implemented at Z/Yen that year:

Dear All

This is just a reminder for you all about the Christmas Party.

Firstly, I hope you have all bought or about to buy your secret Santa present, as you should know you have £5 to spend and the gift should be wrapped in Z/Yen paper with a label which will be in the secret Santa box (when I get that organised – tomorrow).

As only a few people want to go to the “The Lord of the Rings Motion Picture Trilogy” exhibition, please buy a ticket at the gate and claim on your expenses.  We would like to be at the Science Museum at 16.30, this will give us approximately 90 minutes to see the other galleries (six in total), closing time is 18:00.

Afterwards, from 18.30 onwards, we will be having drinks at Shanghai Knightsbridge, 138 Brompton Road, London, SW3 1HY, followed by dinner there at around 19.15.

Regards

Linda

I recall that the several of us who wanted to see the Science museum took great pleasure in the exhibits available for us to play with that season.

But all of us, along with Janie and other arty folk who were more enthusiastic about seeing the extraordinary Yann Arthus-Bertrand’s Earth from the Air photographs, went across the way to see those before wandering along to Shanghai Knightsbridge.

Our wonderful friend May had hosted our 1999 event at The Park Inn. In the intervening years, she closed The Park Inn…

…Janie and I actually cried when we found out that the Park Inn had suddenly closed just before Christmas early in the new century…

…then re-emerged like a phoenix from the ashes at Shanghai Knightsbridge. Not so convenient for me and Janie on a regular basis, and more pricey, but still the excellent food and friendly service we had got to know so well.

It would have been churlish not to introduce the Z/Yen team to May’s new place. I think we had a sort-of room at the back of Shanghai Knightbridge if I recall correctly, or perhaps we were downstairs in a similar fashion to the P{ark Inn set up for larger groups.

Here’s my song from 2003:

 DOES Z/YEN KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS?

(Song to the Tune of “Do they Know It’s Christmas”)

VERSES

MICHAEL:          It’s Christmastime, there’s no chance of getting paid,

MICHAEL:          At Christmastime, we’re off the clock and we cannot trade;

MICHAEL:          But in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy;

MICHAEL:          Throw your birthday breakfast feast at Christmastime.

JEREMY:             (spoken) But say a prayer,

MICHAEL:          Pray for the finance one,

MICHAEL:          At Christmastime, it’s hard, but when you’re having fun;

MICHAEL:          There’s a world that’s west of EC3, and it’s a world of dread not glee,

MICHAEL:          Where the only cash that’s flowing goes out to the EBT;

MICHAEL:          And the Christmas bell that rings there is the alarm at five-o-two,

MICHAEL:          So tonight thank God it’s Ian instead of you.

MICHAEL:          And it’s risk/reward in Bishopsgate this Christmastime,

MICHAEL:          The three wise men with PropheZy divine;

MICHAEL:          (Oooh) where a seasonal remark,

MICHAEL:          Is wide of the benchmark;

MICHAEL:          Does Z/Yen know it’s Christmastime at all?

MIDDLE EIGHT

MALES:               Here’s to you, raise a glass for everyone;

FEMALES:           Here’s to Scrooge, working while we’re having fun;

ALL:                     Does Z/Yen know it’s Christmastime at all?

INSTRUMENTAL (SUBSTITUTE = VOICES GOING DING-DONG)

MALES:               Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding;

FEMALES:           Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding.

CHORUS

ALL:                     Fees for Z/Yen,

                              Pay Z/Yen more at Christmastime;

                              Fees for Z/Yen,

                              Risk/reward at Christmastime.

                              Repeat chorus until bored.

Not THAT sort of English Garden; the Richard Corrigan/Malcolm Starmer place

There was some feedback the previous year that the event in Efes, while most enjoyable, had been a step down in food quality from the previous few years. There were also mumblings about the quality of song lyrics from one or two of those who had been around long enough to remember the last time I had put pen to paper in that regard.

Thus it was Janie to the rescue, if I remember correctly, in the matter of restaurant choice. I think she might have consulted Elisabeth on the topic too. Which explains how we ended up at a place that both of them happened to want to try and which also happened to have a private room our size.

It had rave reviews, not least this one in the Guardian, lauding Richard Corrigan and his star chef Malcolm Starmer for the high quality and yet value for money this place provided. Good choice, then.

It was a “no holding back” era at Z/Yen back then – we had our last Board meeting of the year that day (quite normal) plus a staff symposium to launch the employee share ownership scheme (less usual)…

…ahead of traipsing across town “en masse” to Chelsea for the wonderful meal.

And I do recall it was a truly excellent meal. Janie and I for sure returned there with friends subsequently and were sorry to learn that the place had gone when it closed down.

I think Linda might have launched Secret Santa that year, but perhaps she launched it a year or two later. For sure there was some sort of Z/Yen gimcrack…I mean hugely valuable gift…that year, as Linda promised by e-mail that Santa would be attending.

As for the song – one of my more enduring Z/Yen seasonal hits was born that year.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF Z/YEN TRAINING
 and/or
 THE Z/EALOUS METHODOLOGY TRAINING COURSE
(Song to the Tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”)
 
On my first day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
A Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my second day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my third day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my fourth day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my fifth day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my sixth day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Six thinking hats,
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my seventh day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Seven S’s model,
Six thinking hats,
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.

 
On my eighth day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Eight steps to success,
Seven S’s model,
Six thinking hats,
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my ninth day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Nine PEST-expanded forces,
Eight steps to success,
Seven S’s model,
Six thinking hats,
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my tenth day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Ten Vision Into Action themes,
Nine PEST-expanded forces,
Eight steps to success,
Seven S’s model,
Six thinking hats,
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 
On my eleventh day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Eleven: viable systems plus SWOT,
Ten Vision Into Action themes,
Nine PEST-expanded forces,
Eight steps to success,
Seven S’s model,
Six thinking hats,
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And a Z/Yen Z/Ealous Risk/Reward tree.
 

 
FINALE
 
On my twelfth day of training, my Z/Yen boss gave to me;
Twelve Clean Business Cuisine chapters,
Eleven: viable systems plus SWOT,
Ten Vision Into Action themes,
Nine PEST-expanded forces,
Eight steps to success,
Seven S’s model,
Six thinking hats,
Five forces.
Four risk rationalities,
Three critical sets,
Two by two grid/groups,
And
A
Z/Yen
Z/Ealous
Risk/Reward
Tree.
 

Ian Harris

Classic. The whole event. Classic.