In an unusual act of punctuality, King Cricket published my (Ged Ladd’s) write up of the four days I spent at Lord’s enjoying the ICC World Test Championship Final between Australia and South Africa, amongst other leisurely pursuits.
Pretty much everything I want to say about that match is included in that article.
I had planned to spend the whole of Days Two and Three at Lord’s, before taking guests on Day Four. As it turned out, following the wonderful trip Janie and I took to Eastbourne earlier in the week, I had a few things to sort out on the Thursday morning and didn’t get to Lord’s until about 2:15, by which time England had started to make a better fist of the match.
More in hope than expectation, I asked the friendly stewards in the pavilion if there was anything going in there. “Not really”, they said, “there might be the odd seat at the Allen Stand end, but you’ll probably get a better seat in the members’ overflow area”. That area was located just beside the sightscreens at the Nursery end, being seats roughly the equivalent to pavilion terrace ones but on the other side.
That seemed like a good idea to me and off I went. The view I achieved is depicted in the headline picture. I made a mental note to head for a similar location the next day without bothering the pavilion stewards.
I also took a selfie.
I chatted a bit with the members around me. A youngish man (by MCC standards) was devouring a whippy ice cream (a 99) when I arrived and soon went off to get a double-whippy (is that one named a 198, my arithmetical mind wonders?). Soon after that, he decided to move elsewhere. During that short period, he shed his membership pass twice – the first time being saved by a kindly gentleman sitting behind him and the second time saved by me. Perhaps it was embarrassment that drove him away.
But others around me were also suitably into the cricket, informed and friendly, making for a pleasant afternoon/early evening.
England were doing well but perhaps I put the kybosh on the team by wandering around to the other side in search of a slightly different view and strategic placement for a swift exit before stumps, as wickets fell just as England seemed to be taking control.
Day Three: Friday 30 June 2023
I did indeed head to the same spot again for Day Three, where there were some different people with whom to share the pain. Mostly members, but a few refugees from public areas where, for one reason or another, they were unhappy with their environment.
A very pleasant visiting couple from Yorkshire shared thoughts about the differences between Lord’s and Headingley. I suspect they had a super time the following week when they went to the third test at their home ground.
The gentleman next to me was from Dorset – although I suspected not originally from there – so it came as a bit of a surprise when it transpired that the “Yorkshireman” turned out to be a Lancastrian by origin, as did the Dorset (yes, a person from Dorset is supposed to be known as “a Dorset”); indeed both from The Fylde with mutual friends from school. Only at Lord’s.
I moved on just before tea, hoping to meet up with Alistair Robson and others from the circle surrounding the Doctors Of Leamington.
Needless to say, the normally thriving Champagne Bar was dead quiet in the absence of tennis this year.
After failing to find Alistair about 10 minutes into the tea break, I thought I might find a seat in the pavilion for the final session, which indeed I did. A gentleman from “Death Row” had the good manners to announce that he was going home at tea time, so I took root on his seat, reducing the average age on that row by some significant amount, I shouldn’t wonder. It was nice to see some Ashes cricket from there without actually joining the death row cohort just yet.
Janie joined me at the flat for the later part of the evening and a Four Seasons Chinese meal, as we had both eaten sparsely earlier that day.
Day Four: Saturday 1 July 2023, With Janie, Ian Theodoreson and Sally
…so I was delighted when I learnt that there were some wheelchair access places still available for the Saturday, which was the day Janie was joining me and is a day that makes parking a whole lot easier in Ian and Sally’s…indeed everybody’s…circumstances.
Game on.
I was on picnic duty and had ordered bagels from Papa Joe (Haminados), which meant an early start and a pleasing constitutional before driving to Maida Vale for Lord’s.
Janie and I got to Lord’s a bit earlier than Ian and Sally, just to make sure the arrangements were in place, but we needn’t have worried. As one of the stewards on that level explained, “we never quite know exactly how many people are going to want to sit with each wheelchair guest, but we always find a way”.
Ian and Sally appeared to know more people there that day than we did, although we did run in to Alan and Alex Curtis.
The cricket was a mixture of enthralling and baffling at times; mostly the former.
Me and Ian enthralled. Sally resting her eyes ever so slightly.
As always with such occasions, the day flew by. England were in a poor position at the start of the day, then an improved one, then by the end of the day a poor one again. But England still had a chance.
Day Five: Sunday 2 July 2023
Ian Ward interviewing the wounded (Nathan) Lyon
At the end of Day two, I realised the game was likely to spill into the fifth day, so took the precaution of securing a guest seat for Janie, so we could see the end of the match.
We headed for the Lower Tavern (not to be confused with the Tavern Concourse, which was out of bounds to members). Very happy with our seats, we were.
Before the start of play, we chatted with Westy and Brigitte who were seated nearby. Also John Franklin (from Moreton) and his family.
A very different vibe to the crowd on Day Five. We had some younger people sitting around us, plus an older Bajan gentleman named Charles whose face I recognised but with whom I had not spoken before. We chatted with him quite a lot throughout the remainder of the match, as did the young fellows sitting next to him.
The young fellows, along with most of the crowd, were pretty vocal once Jonny Bairstow was out by a form of stumping that many, me included, consider an unsporting (albeit legitimate) mode of dismissal.
Then, once Ben Stokes unleashed an explosive (although in the event insufficient) attack with the bat, it all got very exciting. On one occasion, the young men behind us crashed into each other while leaping with joy, sending a small shower of wine our way, for which they didn’t stop apologising for the rest of the afternoon. They even wanted to pay our dry cleaning bill – an offer which we declined.
It doesn’t get much wetter…I mean better…than this
Once the foreseeable ending became inevitable, Janie and I made a polite exit to avoid the crush at the gate.
We’d had tremendous entertainment that day – indeed the whole match. So disappointing that England came off second best, but in truth England had performed second best on balance, for more of the match than the Aussies.
Unfortunately Charley The Gent could not join us this year, so we added a late substitute to the group of five – Jonny “Twophones” Hurst, a friend of mine from NewsRevue. As part of his initiation into the Heavy Roller clan, Jonny & I spent some hours together during the Ireland test match a couple of weeks earlier.
The other four of us were me, Daisy, Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks and Harish “Harsha Ghoble” Gohil.
But before all of that, my now traditional stop off in Leamington for some medicinal tennis with the good doctors of that town.
Not just tennis, but a very pleasant lunch, after a very entertaining tennis match that was a close-fought affair. Five of us (four players plus Janie) sat down and the time flew by, such that I started to worry that we’d get no food and/or be late for dinner.
By the time Janie and I had done the picnic shopping, located our lovely digs in Moseley and unpacked, it was more or less time to meet Harish and Nigel for dinner. (Jonny chose to join us at the ground the next morning).
Early start for me as there was a picnic to pull together. Then a 25 minute stroll to the ground for me and Daisy. Bit of a queue, but not too bad at 10:15. We guessed that 5 or 10 minutes earlier the next day would be easier yet. We were right.
Daisy enjoyed photographing the pre match hullabaloo and our reaction to it.
Daisy also likes to photograph people behind the Eric Hollies Stand. Those people don’t seem to mind.
Who knew that Lord Farquaad and Princess Fiona were test cricket fans?
The weather was glorious and the cricket was captivating throughout our time at Edgbaston – indeed the whole match was a cracker.
We were all exhausted at the end of Day One, so went back to our respective diggings and regrouped the next morning.
Saturday 17 June 2023 – Day Two
Daisy took some more pictures during the lunch interval of Day Two.
She also persuaded our mystery lunchtime visitor to take a picture of us…
…then Ged took a picture of the mystery visitor with the Nigel, Daisy and Harish. All the while, Jonny Twophones was off on some mystery mission of his own.
Sam, who was said “mystery guest” wrote up his (apparently) terrifying experience on King Cricket, linked here and below:
In the matter of having a picture of all five of us rollers, Harish put matters right, photographically, with the following five-face selfie – very deft:
Of course it was not the same without Chas, but it was still a monumental Heavy Rollers occasion, with great company, good food and amazing cricket, lovely cricket.
The first Ashes Test, it was. The match started on a Thursday this year (it was a Wednesday start last year), so I put my name down for just the first two days of the test.
On the Wednesday, I went up early so that I might have a two-hour music lesson with Ian Pittaway. I normally have my lessons with him by Skype; just occasionally having a face-to-face lesson.
On Skype, Ian looks like this:
…but this time, in real life, he looked more like this…
…so much so that I thought I’d gone to the wrong door at first.
Anyway, it was a good lesson and I was also able to cement some of the tips and techniques we discussed as I had more time than I find at home, while up at Edgbaston, to practice .
On to the Eaton Hotel, where a late lunchtime snack was to prove a problematic ask, so I wandered off to the local TGIF for a starter, a coffee and some reading.
This year we have been joined by Peter and Matthew – family friends of Nigel and Viv from Australia. Really good company, well-humoured guys, they seemed to slip seamlessly into the somewhat quirky group that is The Heavy Rollers. Only Harish absented himself from the Wednesday evening feast – he was coming up to Edgbaston on the morning of the match.
I arranged to meet the lads at their hotel, the Plough and Harrow, at 9:30 with a view to walking with Peter and Matthew to the ground.
Day One: 1 August 2019
I enjoyed a delicious and efficiently-served breakfast of kippers at The Eaton, then wandered down to the Plough and Harrow to find an irritable table of Rollers and Guest-Rollers awaiting their breakfast. They had been waiting for nigh-on an hour when I arrived.
Slowly and not altogether surely, one-by-one, their breakfasts arrived. Mercifully, Peter and Matthew were among the first to be served,so we were able to skedaddle around five-to ten, arriving at the ground and getting through security just in time to witness the toss.
The others, arriving by car, were also in reasonable time for the cricket though not the toss. We spent a great deal of time wondering how difficult it can possibly be for a hotel kitchen to churn out breakfasts at some sort of reasonable pace.
Jimmy Anderson was not able to do anything at reasonable pace that morning either – after four tidy overs he went off, never to be seen bowling again – at least, never in that match.
The other England bowlers set about their enhanced roles well; at one point having the Aussies 8 down for not much more than 120. Then Smith and Siddle went about staging a match-turning recovery. I blame Charles, who said he likes Siddle because he plays for Essex and that he wanted to see Siddle score a few. Turncoat. (Charley, I mean, not Siddle).
The picnic was a Dot “Mrs Malloy” special, with enough sandwiches to feed a small army and a great deal of non-perishable food which came in very handy on the Friday (and no doubt beyond).
Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub Me, Matthew, Peter, Chas, Nick & Harish
For reasons known only to himself, Nigel stood aside when a kindly bloke behind us offered to take our photo at stumps that day.
Matthew, Peter and I walked back; I parted company with them at St George’s Church to save a bit of time, as we had agreed to all meet in the Plough and Harrow bar for a couple of jars.
Over those jars, it transpired that Peter and his good lady had taken their honeymoon in Vanuatu, so we spent some time swapping Vanuatu trivia stories over drinks, which was better than another hot topic – bemoaning British and Australian politics.
Day Two: Friday 2 August 2019
I enjoyed an English breakfast, efficiently and effectively served, checked out of the The Eaton and walked to the ground alone today. I discovered all of the others in their seats around 10:40. No doubt they had gone down to breakfast in the Plough and Harrow at 6:30 in the morning or some such.
Our seats, directly opposite in The Raglan Stand, offer an excellent view of the shenanigans from an ideal distance. Several strolls all around the ground, including the back of the Hollies, reinforced my view that my ideal spectator experience is the very opposite of the Eric Hollies.
I did offer Peter and Matthew an opportunity to choose their own Ogblog pseudonyms, but, like most people, they were foolish enough to leave that matter up to me. Hence “Papa Pete Blong Vila” and “Boe Blong Pete” were born. More on them and all of us should appear on King Cricket, eventually.
Update: Mid August 2025– “eventually” has finally arrived!
Dumbo (my car) rode like the wind, but had to do so the long way round due to a closure on the M40. Thank goodness for the sat nav, which turned me round and sent me through Birmingham and the M6 South at the very start of my journey, otherwise the extra 20-25 minutes that the detour entailed might have been an extra hour plus in traffic jams.
Well played, Dumbo
I thought I’d left England in a good position at stumps on Day two, which I had. But in my absence it all unravelled in the next two-three days. Only Australians, neutrals or mentally strong England fans should click here for the scorecard and cricinfo resources on this match.
**SPOILER ALERT** This piece does not end well if you are an England cricket fan.
The day seemed to start well enough. OK, our cab seemed to take an age to get to us, but basically we got through security at Lord’s and to our seats with a good 10 minutes to spare – enough time to “enjoy” the reverence of the national anthems and stuff.
Aussie anthem first; then the UK one. I’m no fan of either tune, frankly……but I can look suitably reverent.
Daisy was trigger happy at first with her iPhone camera…
Ball caught in mid air roughly half way down the track
…but soon tired of doing that.
Daisy had many bugbears about today, most of which I shared. The first was the high volume music whenever a boundary was scored. Irritating not least because the Aussies were batting and scoring boundaries.
But her main bugbear was the fact that the scoreboards were showing advertising messages for the vast majority of the time; just occasionally showing the score and/or a replay. Indeed, sometimes even the replays were cut off at the vital moment to return to some banal advertising message.
Some beer I have never heard of – on principle I now won’t try it
That beer ad was one of the less banal messages – some were simply the names of firms we had never heard of; we couldn’t even work out what they might do for a living.
Then even louder noise for drinks intervals, injury breaks and/or when a wicket fell. The cricket bat-shaped electric guitar is amusing at first but after a while the riffs are simply ear-drum piercing.
Worse, the cameras zooming around the crowd as a proxy for yet more advertising – such as the cab-firm turned food delivery company giving away a hamper of food to someone in the crowd who waves appropriately.
Worst of all, the utterly vapid on-ground commentators-come-crowd-chatters trying to describe the match position and/or ask people in the crowd what they think.
Daisy described the inane chatter as unbelievably amateurish and intrusive to the cricket. The nadir was a vacuous conversation about a crowd-member’s loud shirt which had to be cut off in mid stream because the bowler was about to deliver the ball.
We walked several circuits on which, as usual, we ran into a great many people we know. That’s what happens when doing the circuit at Lord’s.
I saw several of my real tennis pals and one or two other folk I know from outside cricket/Lord’s.
Madz Prangley (well known in various guises to several cricket web sites, someone who is oft-seen at Lord’s) told me off for ignoring her Facebook friend request some time ago. That might have had something to do with the fact that I didn’t, until today, know her real name. The matter has already been corrected.
Daisy took a shine to the look of the Harris Garden set up for corporate hospitality:
The stewards politely explained that it was for invited guests only.
Daisy tried to explain that we ARE Mr & Mrs Harris, so the place, basically, is our garden.
We got no closer than this.
We had a splendid lunch anyway, despite being turned down ever so gently by the Harris Garden steward. Daisy had made some smoked salmon and prawn sandwiches (that’s hedging your bets, isn’t it?) as the centrepiece. We also had a nice drop of Gewurtztraminer to wash that down.
I did one circuit on my own, during which I ran into Alan Curtis who said he was desperately looking for someone…but apparently not for me. That’s OK, Alan. Really, that’s OK. I hope you found someone.
But by the time I was circuiting solo and running into Alan, it was clear that England were coming second in this match.
Charley The Gent sent me an e-mail message to inform me that Essex had beaten Somerset. I hesitate to use the term bragging, as Chas would not approve of that term, but the e-mail read…
Great win for Essex over current leaders – Somerset!
…before setting out the summary final score of the match. As it happens, the gentleman sitting next to us in the Mound Stand was an Essex fan who was delighted with the news, despite England’s travails. He and I then discussed Essex, outground cricket and matters of that kind for a while.
Chas then said he had turned off the TV as he couldn’t bear to look any more. Daisy told me to instruct Charley not to be a wuss and to keep the faith. Chas promised to try.
But in the end – once England were 8 down – even Daisy and I couldn’t keep the faith, so we nipped out through the East Gate and ordered our cab before the throng might make such cab-ordering an impossibility.
Our driver, Alex, turned out to be a local lad full of good recommendations for restaurants around Ealing, which helped lift our rather diminished spirits.
My riffs are well subtle compared with those of the cricket bat guitarist, eh?
Daisy is now done with World Cup live action and says she is delighted to be following the rest of the World Cup from the comfort and relative peace of her own home. I understand her point. The “thumping bollocks” atmosphere of a T20 match can be a bit much for three-to-fours hours of a T20. For the eight-plus hours of an ODI it is insanely too much.
Me? I’ll be doing it all again at Lord’s in 10 days time when Pakistan take on Bangladesh. And unless England pull up their socks big time, that match might be the one that decides who takes that final semi-final spot and eliminates England.
It’s strange how we sometimes don’t connect two things that have happened. Or in this case, connect one thing that didn’t happen with another thing that did happen.
Stumbling across my diary entry for Thursday 6 August 2015, I see a line through the day (which means that I had booked a day’s leave) and then the following notes:
…my old school pal who relocated to Canada with his family a few years ago now, was over for a few weeks. We had hatched a plan to meet at Lord’s that day. Paul enjoys a bit of cricket and “the girls” (Christine & Anya) liked the idea of some shopping in Central London during those hours.
Then we learnt that the threatened tube strikes for that day were indeed going ahead. We exchanged some notes the day before about trains and buses, but in the end the Deacons very sensibly decided to steer clear of Central London on a strike day.
In truth, I am not wild about 50 over cricket. Great as a day out with a friend, but I certainly didn’t feel motivated to trek to Lord’s on my tod to see that game. No.
And there was an Ashes Test match due to start the same day. So I decided instead that I’d stay home, get a bit ahead of myself with work and stuff. Oh, and of course keep at least half an eye on the test match.
This now famous utter routing of Australia became compelling viewing within 5 minutes and I basically didn’t move from the TV for a couple of hours until the lunch interval. That is not normal cricket viewing behaviour for me.
Thing is, though, from then until today (in December 2016) I had not once made the connection between my availability to see that extraordinary session of Ashes Test match history unfold and the earlier disappointment of having to abandon the proposed trip to Lord’s with Paul.
Therefore not once had I even thought to thank Paul for making his sensible decision to avoid Central London, thus allowing the day to unfold for me as it did.
We didn’t attend Day One of the Edgbaston test on this occasion, as the test started on a Wednesday. We booked our traditional Heavy Rollers Thursday and Friday at Edgbaston.
With the benefit of hindsight, it would have been great to have booked Wednesday through Friday, but you can’t have everything.
England v Sri Lanka Day 3 (14 June 2014) – linked here describes a similar encounter with Mr Johnny Friendly the previous year. I misspelt Jane Austen as Jane Austin in this piece and King Cricket missed the error when he subbed; both of us metaphorically ate our own livers for the error in private, but I decided to milk the pun. Thus this piece inadvertently became the first part of a trilogy.
The irony that I myself have now enthusiastically taken up real tennis in the months between writing this piece and it being published is not wasted on me.
To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:
Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”
A day out in Chelmsford, reported upon at length on the King Cricket website.
This season my possessions are taking an increasing role in proceedings, writing many of my King Cricket match reports for me. Dumbo, the Suzuki Jimny started this trend while we were in Ireland – click here. Dumbo continued this trend on a half-day out to Uxbridge, linked through this posting here. There will be more to come from Dumbo, once King Cricket gets around to publishing it.
To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:
Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”
