BDO Consulting – Ian Louis Harris

The Secret Diary Of Adrian Burn Aged 49 3/4, A Spoof Produced For A BDO Consulting Multiple Leaving Do, 30 August 1994

I wrote the quoted pieces below for sharing at a leaving do for several BDO Consulting folk who were leaving BDO Binder Hamlyn, including me, although i had technically left the firm at the beginning of that month.

The background to this spoof of The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole might be gleaned from the first part of The Z/Yen Story – click here or below:

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe First Part – Sumer Is Icomen In, Spring 1994

In short, my firm, BDO Binder Hamlyn, was to be taken over by Arthur Andersen. I didn’t think the latter firm would appreciate my hair style.

Adrian Burn was the Managing Partner of BDO Binder Hamlyn. The character Pandoreuss is Elisabeth Reuss, now Elisabeth Mainelli, who was Adrian’s personal assistant.

Enough background:

THE SECRET DIARY OF ADRIAN BURN AGED 49 3/4 by SUSAN TOWNSLEY-WHITT

Tuesday 22 March 1994

I received a visit from a Mr Waddia, a most helpful gentleman from another leading firm of accountants like mine, except his firm is named Arthur Andersen. Mr Waddia is the most important man in Arthur Andersen and he said that he would pay a lot of money for a merger with Binder Hamlyn. He would give several Binder Hamlyn partners (including me!) equity in the merged firm and everyone would be happy. It sounded almost too good to be true, but I asked my friends James, David and John and they all said it sounded simply super and we should go for it. It’s a deal! Hurrah!

Monday 28 March 1994

I’m not very pleased today. The Sunday Times has spilled the beans on my splendid deal and lots of my junior partners have quite clearly failed to understand the benefits of the arrangement. I found some of their comments most unhelpful. I had to spend the whole day going round 20 Old Bailey explaining to all those junior partners and their staff oiks that the Andersen’s thing would be good for everybody and no-one would get fired (except for all the people that Mr Waddia told me I would have had to fire anyway). I am now in a foul mood and shall go off and investigate a bit of Queens Moat tomorrow to make myself feel better.

Wednesday 30 March 1994

One of my less astute junior partners who is not really my friend, William Casey, turned up in my office today. He had a sun tan and said he had been in Africa on consultancy business (I think that is what he does) until today and had only just got the news. He said that Andersens wouldn’t want a consultancy practice because they already have a big one and what was I going to do about it. I explained the bit about no-one getting fired and several partners getting equity in Andersen’s and he went away looking much happier. I asked my adorable secretary, Pandoreuss, what she thought of it all and she just said “Dumkopf”. I asked my friend Richard what this means and he said it is a compliment a German person gives to you when they think you have done a clever thing. Oh Pandoreuss! I really didn’t know you cared!

Monday 22 April 1994

I’m a bit miffed today. Mr Waddia says that he will have to pay millions of pounds to BDO so that he can buy Binder Hamlyn. “I hope you’re not expecting much cash or many equity partners, Adam, or else your going to be disappointed”, he said, “and you’d better get rid of a heap of your dead wood partners and managers PDQ”. I didn’t find those comments particularly helpful. I went off to close down a bit more of Queens Moat which took my mind off and made me feel a bit better.

Thursday 26 May 1994

Not a very good day. Mr Waddia has spoken to Mr Hall and apparently only two Binder Hamlyn partners will be allowed equity in Arthur Andersen. Fortunately one of them is me (hurrah) and the other is my friend James. Mr Hall has also told Mr Waddia that by the time they have paid BDO to let Binder Hamlyn out, Arthur Andersen can only afford £2.54 for Binder Hamlyn. “I thought you were the most important man in Arthur Andersen, Mr Waddia”, I said. “I am”, he replied, “in Arthur Andersen UK. Mr Hall is the most important man in Andersen Consulting UK. He is a more most important man than I am”. I think I understand. I told Pandoreuss and she just said “du bist ein schtick fleisch” which my friend Richard tells me means that I am a first class negotiator. Oh Pandoreuss! One day you will be mine!

Wednesday 10 August 1994

I am not very pleased. Mr Waddia tells me that Mr Burgess has told him that my consultancy cannot call itself a consultancy because only his (Mr Burgess’s) consultancy is allowed to do that. “I thought Mr Hall was the most important man in Andersens”, I said. “He is”, replied Mr Waddia, “in Andersen Consulting UK. Mr Burgess is the most important man in Andersen Consulting Worldwide. Mr Burgess is a more most important man than Mr Hall”. These people really ought to sort themselves out! William (who is not really my friend) went up the wall when I told him. I said that he could revive the incredibly successful former name, Binder Hamlyn Small Fry and he went away seeming happy. These consultancy (sorry, small fry) types just need a few kind words and they are all motivated, networking and selling work like crazy. William must have done a great job after he saw me today, because three strangers called me asking me to give personal references for William. Pandoreuss told me that William “ist ein schlemiel”, which apparently means good salesman. I went off and investigated a bit more of Queens Moat.

Tuesday 30 August 1994

I decided to stand up to Mr Waddia. I told him that I was not happy about having to sack 10 of my equity partners and a whole group of managers after all that we had been through together. “Heck, Adam”, he said. “Adrian”, I corrected (I can stick up for myself you know). “I know how you feel, Adrian. I am going to have to sack two of my equity partners in a few months time so I know how uncomfortable you feel.” His words made me feel a lot better (they have a superb manner, these big six types, although we’re more than a match for them, yes indeed). Mr Waddia continued “perhaps you could give me a few tips on how to go about sacking equity partners, I’ve never had to do it before”. It’s good to see that we are already starting to influence the Arthur Andersen Worldwide Organisation.

NEXT WEEK: Adrian Burn, the Wilderness Years.

In addition, I circulated the following “song list”:

AND NOW: Adrian Burn’s top five favourite records of all time.

1) A medley of songs from the musical “Half Binders Andersen”, including:

* We’re Half Binders Andersen, we’ve many accounts to sell;
* Lynchworm, lynchworm, measuring the office space;
* Wonderful, wonderful, old Chicago, centre of Andersen’s style;
* There Once Was an Ugly Merging;
* No two businesses ever we’re so unlike;
* Fumble Binders, fumble Binders, tiny little thing;
* We’re signing on the dole together, the dole together, the dole together, we’re altogether redundant as a pubic hair in soap.

2) Arthur’s, We Love You (the paranoid Android song) c/w You’re in the army now.

3) Routs and Mergers, routs and mergers, soon consultancy will work for Burgess, Binder Hamlyn’s over, cos this merger is a takeover.

4) Arthur’s theme “When you get going between the dole and new employment”.

5) Binder’s is merging in the autumn, ding dong lets hope it will survive; Arthur’s no vulture, it’s just a strong culture, so change the way you work, just change the way you work, for gawd’s sake change the way you work in time.

Music At Oxford At The Sheldonian Theatre & Bodleian Library, 7 July 1989

“Everyone drives on the pavement in Rio de Janeiro” – picture produced in collaboration with DALL-E

We headed up to Oxford late afternoon Friday for an unforgettable 24 hours or so, centred around a superb concert of Handel performed by The Sixteen Choir and Orchestra under Harry Christophers.

When I say “we”, I mean “me and my workmates. This was my first of several Music At Oxford experiences with BDO Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants (as it was called at that time). In fact, I think this concert was the first that Binders sponsored and that Music At Oxford thereafter became a bit of a Binders fixture for several years.

I was thrilled and impressed when I discovered that my firm was sponsoring this concert. I had discovered The Sixteen a couple of years earlier by hearing their recordings broadcast on Radio 3 and had found their sound mighty impressive.

Even now, writing in February 2019, nearly 30 years after the event, Janie and I still consider The Sixteen to be one of the very best early music choir/orchestras we have ever heard – indeed we have booked to see them again at The Wigmore Hall quite soon. It’s been a while – can hardly wait.

But back in 1989 I had not yet seen The Sixteen live and/but it transpired that pretty much nobody at work had heard of them at all, so I was designated to be the in-house expert to whom inquisitive clients attending the concert might be sent for more information…

…in true management consultancy style, my having heard the performers a couple of times on the radio became, shamelessly, “recent, relevant experience”, enabling me to advise the clients about all matters Sixteen, Handel and indeed Early Music generally. I should have charged fees.

I remember the Friday afternoon, especially the journey to Oxford, very clearly. I spent the day at the office. As I still hadn’t passed my driving test, William Casey, the managing partner of the consultancy, offered to take me with him from the office to Oxford. I suspect that part of his purpose was to suck what little I knew about the music and the performers from my brain, so he could say something vaguely meaningful to clients.

Of course, we ended up leaving Faringdon Within later than intended and of course the Friday afternoon traffic between London and Oxford in early July was pretty heavy.

I discovered that the seemingly unflappable William Casey was as flappable as the rest of us when under time pressure, as we really did need to get to the Randolph Hotel, get changed into our fancy-pants clobber and be at the Sheldonian Theatre in good time to meet and greet guests.

Once we got away from the main London traffic it seemed we still had plenty of time. William and I chatted about various things, including life aspirations (mostly his) and William’s prior experience living and working in Brazil.

But I don’t think William had accounted for the dreadful traffic into Oxford on a Friday. 1989 was pre-M40 beyond Oxford, of course, so a fair bit more local traffic needed to use the narrow roads around and through Oxford in those days. So the stress levels started to rise again once the A40 into Oxford became a traffic jam.

At one point, William cut off a rather jammed up corner by driving up onto the pavement and jumping the traffic queue at the turning. Probably spotting my disquiet at that manoeuvre (which had not come up in any of my driving lessons) William exclaimed…

…everyone drives on the pavement in Rio de Janeiro!…

…which is the most memorable single thing that William ever said to me.

Of course, it was all a bit of a rush once we got to Oxford. Of course, we weren’t really late – just a little later than intended – so we were able to do the meet and greet thing before the concert…

…which is just as well, because we really were the sponsors – look at this page from the festival brochure:

Within a few months, we had changed our name to BDO Consulting; the first of several subtle name changes in the five-and-a-half years I was at the firm.

The concert was lovely and the Sheldonian Theatre is a superb setting for baroque music.

First up, the small scale but very beautiful Nisi Dominus, a recording of which, by The Sixteen, recorded just a few months after our concert, is (at the time of writing) available for all to hear:

Next up was the Lord Is My Light – Chandos Anthem No 10. Currently a recording of this one by The Sixteen is also available for you to hear:

Then the interval, which we spent hoity-toitying with our client guests in the Bodleian Library:

The invite doesn’t use the term hoity-toitying but you can take my word for it, that’s what we did.

I cannot remember in detail who was there that evening. All of the consultancy partners and a great many of my immediate colleagues for sure. Possibly some of the accountancy partners too, although I have a feeling that this first sponsorship was very much a consultancy affair and that it was in future years that the sponsorship widened out to Binder Hamlyn more generally. Michael Mainelli might well remember and fill in some juicy details.

I don’t think I needed to attend to my own main clients that year – I don’t think they attended. But I had been involved to some small extent with several of the firms clients by then, so had a fair smattering of people I knew as well as the general entreaty to “walk the room”, be the designated in-house early music expert and pretend to look intelligent…or whatever.

The second half of the concert was the wonderful Handel Dixit Dominus. I cannot find The Sixteen recording on line, but there is a fine live performance under John Elliot Gardiner which you might enjoy enormously:

My log reminds me how I felt about the evening and what happened next:

Superb evening. Ended up back at the Randolph Hotel sing-songing with the clients etc.

I am trying to remember who the main ringleaders of the sing-songing were; my memory fixes on Jim Arnott, Dom Henry and Richard Sealey in particular, but I might be mixing up this event with another event or two. Again, Michael might remember these informal details more specifically than me. I’m pretty sure Michael also partook of the sing-songing.

I don’t think we were sing-songing Handel at all – I suspect our singing was more of the Hotel California/American Pie/Streets Of London variety.

I do remember that we went on singing and partying into the early hours of the morning.

I don’t remember how I got home – I think I took the train from Oxford to Paddington for the return journey.

For sure I was back in London for an evening of Theatre at the National – that’s another story for another Ogblog…

…as are the subsequent Binders/Music At Oxford sponsorship evenings. At the time of writing the only other one I have written up so far is the 1992 one which was, confusingly, in Greenwich, London:

Music At Oxford At The Old Royal Naval College, 9 June 1992

But for sure this first Binders/Music At Oxford event, in 1989, especially the thrill of seeing The Sixteen at the Sheldonian, was one of my most memorable and enjoyable work-related cultural experiences.

Ten Days Spent, Primarily, Eating And Drinking, 15 to 24 December 1988

If you simply go by my diary notes, I spent the ten days in the run up to Christmas eating and drinking that year. What’s changed/who knew?

I’m going to be a bit light on details with several of these:

Thursday 15 December: Went over to Bobbies for dinner
I’ll guess that there were other people involved, but the diaries are silent on the matter, beyond the above information

Friday 16 December: Went to Ma and Pa for dinner
One thing I do remember about this visit was me gently but firmly letting mum know that, now that I’d moved to Notting Hill, I wasn’t suddenly going to be making Friday evening visits for family dinner a regular thing.

Saturday 17 December: Driving lesson. Annalisa came over for meal in evening
That was my second driving lesson in Notting Hill (I’d had one the previous Saturday). I think that meal I cooked for Annalisa that evening might well have been the first time I cooked for someone other than myself at Clanricarde Gardens. No idea what I cooked for her. There are some Thai recipes on my jotter but I can see, from the context of the other notes, that those were jotted after Christmas, probably after I discovered Tawana.

Monday 19 December: Driving lesson in evening.
My instructor in Notting Hill Gate was a gentle fellow. I remember his girlfriend (or wife) was an orchestra musician from East Germany and he spent much of our chatting time railing against the Honecker regime, little knowing how close we were to its demise.

Tuesday 20 December: Bobbie came over for meal in evening
This might well have been the first time I cooked for Bobbie at Clanricarde. This will have been a meatier affair than cooking for Annalisa and/but probably a simpler meal being an after work job rather than a weekend job.

Wednesday 21 December: Radius lunch in afternoon. BHMC [Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants] & drinks after work
I cannot remember exactly who Radius were, but I am guessing that they were a software supplier. That week, and the week before, I had switched away from Save The Children Fund (who wanted me to return to do most of my assignment in the new year, after their massive Christmas Appeal surge was over), so I joined colleague/mentor Lars Schiphorst at Holland & Holland. My guess is that I was brought in at that place to look at the financial/accounting systems aspects of a project long since forgotten by all involved.

Thinking about Lars, who, despite having to tolerate teaming with me on that assignment and others, went on to be a good friend for several years at Binders before he emigrated to Australia…I wondered if it would be possible to trace Lars 30 years later.

Yes. Thank you, Mr Google.

Here he is at the Australian Institute For Performance Studies in December 2018 – click here…

…or click here, where I have scraped the relevant page at the time, if you get no joy on the AIPS site above.

Lars Schiphorst – ludicrously still recognisable/barely changed all these years later.

Friday 23 December: Pub lunch with BHMC mob – little work after
The thing I remember most about that lunch was chatting with Geoffrey Rutland, RIP, who was especially friendly, welcoming and helpful with advice. He also turned out, strangely, like myself, to have been a former scholarship boy at Alleyn’s – although in his case a few years earlier.

Actually I remember everyone at Binders being friendly and welcoming that December – I felt quite at home in that firm quite rapidly, despite the fact that I knew I had been recruited as canon fodder in a turf war between a handful of partners.

Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants Christmas Lunch Virtually All Day, 14 December 1988

The headline captures the text from that Wednesday and that one sentence tells much of the tale.

The so-called lunch was at The Bleeding Heart that year. It is still a top notch place. Writing 30 years later, although I don’t go there all that often I have been quite recently:

Dinner With John White At The Bleeding Heart, 13 June 2017

But I digress.

Michael Mainelli had clearly made a special point of locating me near to his place. He conducted a rather unsubtle sort-of interview over the hours of the event. I had been hired despite Michael, not by him nor under his auspices, but while he was away on holiday for a week, somewhat in contravention of his request to the other partners not to hire anyone while he was away. So he was checking me out big time those first few months. History suggests I passed the test.

Reduced To Tears By My First Consultancy Assignment, 27 January 1989

I do also remember Peter Flory (who was my mentor on the Save The Children Fund project) “going off on one” afterwards, because he thought it inappropriate for Michael to grill me in that way at a staff party. It is my first proper memory of meeting Michael, although he is pretty sure we had a quick chat a couple of weeks earlier, when I first arrived at Binders.

I think I might have endeared myself to William Casey at that event too, by recognising and praising his choice of wine, Chateau Musar, which one or two less knowledgeable folk had been sniffy about, imagining “cheap Lebanese wine”. Oh no, this is (and was then) top notch stuff and a good food match too.

It clearly was a very lengthy and boozy affair. I remember little else about it. I would love to hear from others who might remember some factoids about hat particular occasion. We lunched at the Bleeding Heart for Christmas several times.

Left My Job At Newman Harris, Moved To Clanricarde Gardens And Started Work For Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants, 18 November to 1 December 1988

The end of 1988 was a momentous time for me. I’ll have quite a lot to write about those weeks on Ogblog.

The brace of events I am recalling in this piece, reflecting briefly on that time thirty years later, are the core happenings. I changed job and moved house within the space of a couple of weeks.

Clanricarde Gardens

A few doors down, picture linked from (and clickable to) Philip Wilkinson’s wonderful blog piece about our street

There is a superb blog piece about our street by Philip Wilkinson – click here.

I shall write up my flat hunting experience on a separate piece in the coming weeks. Suffice it to say here that my Clanricarde Gardens flat was the first place I saw and that I liked it straight away.

It was only the fact that I had nothing with which to compare it that kept me flat hunting for several more days. I have some interesting yarns to tell about some of the other places I saw. I asked to take a second look at Clanricarde Gardens on the Thursday and took Bobbie Scully with me to help me decide. “What are you waiting for? Just take it,” is a reasonable paraphrase of her sound judgement.

By way of context, I should explain that I was renting, not buying in late 1988. Some friends at that time thought I was bonkers by not jumping on the home ownership bandwagon “before it is too late”. But then some friends suffered some serious negative equity for several years after jumping on that bandwagon when it peaked back then.

Unusually, when I decided it was time for me to buy, in 1999, it was also an opportune time for the owners to sell, so I was able to buy the flat I had been renting for over 10 years. Try before you buy.

From Newman Harris To Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants (BHMC)

Again, I shall write more in separate pieces about these events over the coming weeks.

With the benefit of hindsight, taking just eight working days off between jobs with a view to:

finding a flat to rent;
moving into that flat;
learning to drive;
seeing friends and family in relatively large quantity;
going to plenty of theatre & stuff;
doing exam marking for Financial Training to help pay for all that…

…was a little ambitious, to say the least.

I rather like my only diary note on the day I started at BHMC:

Started at BHMC today – drink at lunchtime

Frankly, I probably needed a drink after that fortnight. But what a very 1980’s tradition for a new joiner at a City firm – the drink at lunchtime.

BHMC soon changed its name to BDO Consulting (BDOC). Five-and-a-half years after I joined the firm, Binder Hamlyn “merged” with Arthur Andersen (AA) and I concluded that the latter firm would not like my hairstyle. Michael Mainelli, who had not recruited me to BHMC but with whom I was mostly working by then, felt similarly about not wanting to persevere in Andersens, although not for hairstyle reasons…

…and thus Z/Yen was born.

I don’t remember meeting Michael on that first day or two at Binders – my memory of meeting him really starts at the Christmas lunch on 14 December. But Michael is pretty sure that he at the very least spent a few minutes saying “hi & bye” to me (probably to check that I didn’t have two heads or something) before packing me off the following week on a tough assignment with Save The Children Fund…from which the rest is history.

Reflecting On Those Weeks And Events

Further, when I look at my diaries and see what else I did during those momentous weeks, I still see many familiar names and activities.

Here are just two examples.

I went to Jacquie and Len’s place for dinner with Caroline on 30 November 1988. Janie and I are going to dinner at Jacquie’s tonight (1 December 2018) and only a couple of days ago, Caroline got in touch to arrange a get together.

27 November 1988, had John, Mandy, Ali, Valerie and Bobbie to lunch

I’m still in touch with most of them and am seeing John on Monday.

Those two momentous things I did in late 1988 have in essence been sustained for thirty years and still going. Also many of the people who were central to my being back then are still there too.

So I shall soon write up the many and various events of those frantic weeks.

Some of the tales will be about characters who entered my life only fleetingly – such as Larry the Drummer, the larger-than-life character I met through the Streatham Hill Driving School people, who became Larry the Man With A Van to help me move.

But some stories will benefit from the reflections of those people with whom I am still very much in touch.

And although, if I recall correctly, Michael Mainelli and I didn’t actually meet until I had been at the firm for a couple of weeks…

…1 December 1988 was, technically speaking, the date we started working together. So happy thirtieth anniversary, Michael.

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