Charlotte Graham – Page 2 – Ian Louis Harris

Several Minimally, Strangely Or Barely Documented Evenings, Plus A Family Event In Chipping Norton, Late September 2007

20th September: TS Awards
That would be a Third Sector Excellence awards night, at which CharityShare the Best Charity Partnership Award. I minimally wrote a Now & Z/Yen piece about it here at the time.

22nd September: Jacquie & Len’s Yom
Traditional gathering for the breaking of the fast, not that many of us fast. Even fewer this year, as this was the first such gathering without dad. I’m not sure anyone was quite on best form that year with the shock of it all, apart from Jacquie who will have laid on a magnificent feast as always.

Briegal table from a later year but the look would have been similar.

26 September: Middlesex AGM?
This cannot have been the AGM, which has to be in April, so perhaps it was just an end of season forum. Sportnetwork has lost the vital 2007 MTWD reports, but fortunately this one was written by Barmy Kev who sent his report to me for editing and uploading. So here it is:

MTWD Lost Masterpiece: Barmy Kev’s 2007 End of Season Forum Report – Unedited Version, 26 September 2007

27 September Kim & Micky
Janie and I went to see Micky’s new offices in Hatton Garden and then went on for a meal with Kim & Micky. I cannot remember where we ate that time but it might well have been The Bleeding Heart.

29 to 30 September

We went out to Chipping Norton to help Charlie celebrate her 21st birthday. We stayed in the Crown and Cushion, where the event was held. Janie and I took The Duchess with us.

I remember we hated staying in the Crown and Cushion. Several times we hinted to Tony that we’d prefer to stay somewhere else, but he would insist that the management had changed or a refurb had been done since the last time…

…but in truth our sense of the place was that it simply got worse every time we stayed there.

You’re not exactly spoiled for choice in Chipping Norton.

Anyway, it made sense to stay there on this occasion because it was the venue for the big event. The family gathered as did friends and in-laws. Charlie seemed very happy with the event and I recall some informal gatherings before and after the main event to make a bit of a weekend of it.

Janie made some notes in her diary which i think were the original plans for our visit to Cambridge to see Charlie a few months later – which was a better documented and photographed event from our point of view:

Cambridge Weekend with Charlie, 26 to 28 January 2008

Dinner With Charlotte At The Ealing Park Tavern, Then The Glass House Kew, 14 July 2007 & 7 September 2007, not 4 August 2007

Charlotte (Charlie) went through a small phase that summer of staying with us overnight Saturday to Sunday and we’d take her out to dinner.

The first of the two that summer was an excellent gastro pub, the Ealing Park Tavern.

Still well regarded at the time of writing – click here for a link to reviews.

The second was at the Glass House Kew. Trendy and very good food if I remember correctly. Click here for reviews.

I originally thought the second evening was 4 August, but we needed to postpone that one due to my dad’s indisposition, so we rescheduled for 7 September.

The weekend before that, 1 September, Anthea and Mitchell came over to to Sandall Close for dinner.

Thems was very pleasant evenings, thems was.

Holiday Weekend With Hil and Chris In Bristol, 25 to 27 August 2007

I think this might have been our first stay at the Hotel Du Vin in Bristol. It was very good and friendly back then.

We tried the Bistro there on the first evening, taking dinner with Hil and Chris there.

On the Sunday, Hil & Chris threw a family barbecue for the holiday weekend/my birthday, which was all rather pleasant.

I wasn’t in the most celebratory mood that year, just a few weeks after dad’s death.

Still, the weather smiled on us and Hil laid on a pretty splendid barby, as one might expect.

We also enjoyed the big Hotel Du Vin breakfast, I seem to remember. And the big bath in the room we had chosen.

Dad’s Collapse and Death, 3 August to 6 August 2007

It is all a bit of a blur, really.

I know that Steve the window cleaner came that Friday morning, but I can’t remember whether I got the call from mum before, during or after his visit. Soon after Steve left, I think.

Dad had collapsed at the foot of the stairs trying to get up to bed the night before; mum had found him there in the morning and called an ambulance.

My recall is very patchy. Dad was unconscious when I got to St George’s Hospital. I remember hanging around for quite a long time with mum and seeing a specialist with her and Janie quite late in the day. I remember the specialist explaining that one of dad’s hips had broken when he collapsed, but that basically the scans revealed that dad was riddled with cancer and there was nothing they could do other than keep him comfortable and free from pain.

I think mum insisted that we just take her home on that Friday; I recall she was much calmer that first day than on the subsequent days.

On the Saturday, Janie and I had arranged to see Charlotte for the evening – I think she came to us for dinner and I think we went ahead with that at mum’s insistence. Dad had not really regained consciousness on the Saturday in any case, so there was little we could do. Mum was in “I can cope” mode.

I recall that dad was conscious when we visited him on the Sunday. He was positive and upbeat (the doctors had told him they were checking everything out and would do everything they could for him, which I suppose was true in a way) but he was high as a kite on painkillers and told us some rather strange stories about stuff that had happened in the night, which must have been dreams or hallucinations but clearly were very real memories to him in his drug-fuelled state.

Mum was not in a good way by the Sunday – really very anxious and distressed, I felt. Janie was with us that day. I think we took mum to some sort of a restaurant place on Garrett Lane (more Wandsworth than Tooting). Janie recalls that she perked up quite a lot during that meal/distraction.

I was going to go again on the Monday after gym anyway, but while at the gym got the call (via Janie) that dad had died peacefully overnight. Naturally I went straight to St George’s to join mum. Mum was strangely calmer that day; probably exhausted more than anything else. Probably also in shock. In any case, from that point on, the process of going through formalities takes over for a day or so and I was able mostly to lead on those. Numb still; my memories of the subsequent formalities are also a bit of a blur.

A Day Boating On The Thames At Bray With Kim & Micky, Tony, Phillie & Charlie, 26 July 1998

Three Men In A Boat (…& Four Women)

This trip won’t have been my idea.

No doubt a plan mainly cooked up by Janie and Kim and Phillie. Notes in Janie’s diary suggest that she took control of the arrangements:

9:30 to 5:30… Boat trip… £150. Nobby and Phil. Deposit £500. Ring Elisabeth Mainelli. Open cabin cruiser £150. Bray Boats. Nobby. [presumably the boat man, not my car, which was at that time, coincidentally, a Honda CRX named Nobby].

*Janie, with Nobby, at his last resting place*

Us lot. A boat. A river. What could possibly go wrong?

Actually, I don’t think anything went wrong. I think we had rather a splendid day out, in fact.

I did have a contretemps with a swan at one point…

…but we resolved our differences and were able to share the river in harmony for the rest of the trip.

*Presumably that’s Nobby, with Phillie and Janie supping wine beyond*

Janie cannot really add to the memory pile, other than concurring that we all had a memorable and enjoyable day.

Update: Charlotte indeed remembers:

Oh my goodness, yes I do remember this.

I think it may even have been the trip where my Dad felt he was the boating ‘expert’ and got grumpy when Mum and Janie took control of navigating some of the Locks!!! He may have had a point though as I think mum’s shoe fell into the river as part of said activities at one point!!

But the most shocking point to make is WHAT was I wearing?! Honestly, that’s a crime against humanity!

There are some other photos. This link (and the picture link below) reveals the whole roll.

A Day Out With Charlie (& Family?), London Planetarium Plus, 6 June 1998

In truth I remember little about this day out in London.

Charlotte, who was about 12 at the time, might remember it a whole lot better. I’m not sure that Phillie & Tony were with us for the outing, although I’m pretty sure that Phillie, if not both of them, joined us at least for the meal at Good Earth in the evening. Both my diary and Janie’s diary describe the outing as “Charlie”.

The London Planetarium was clearly something that Charlie was keen to see, so see it we did. Janie’s diary is full of copious notes booking the place up and arranging to park in Chiltern Street.

After that, the trail gets murky. Janie was clearly considering Planet Hollywood or The Fashion Cafe for an in-between stop off, but I have a funny feeling we ended up in Madam Tussaud’s, which came as part of the deal with the Planetarium. Possibly we snacked there (or at the Planetarium) for lunch, especially as we had a dinner booked.

I think I might remember having been at the Fashion cafe, especially if all of them supermodels were hanging around in there, as implied by this write up. I did used to see Claudia Schiffer in Moscow Road occasionally in those days – I think she had a pied-à-terre around there. But I digress.

I’m pretty sure it was the Knightsbridge incarnation of The Good Earth that we tried that evening and jolly good food it was too.

Update: Yes Charlie does indeed remember more than us!

Charlie writes:

Wow, Ian, thank you for sending me that diary reminder from 1998. I remember it so well…even to the extent of Janie doing my hair in an ‘on the side’ ponytail and me wearing a hideous luminous yellow jumper 🤢

It was a wonderful weekend; we did Planetarium and M Tussauds followed by lunch at Fashion Cafe. I’m not sure mum did join us for dinner in the evening as I have a memory of going to tennis with you both on the Sunday and me having a tennis coach. I think you both also bought me some Speedo swimming costumes?!!!!!!!

So we did go to the Fashion Cafe, but I guess the supermodels weren’t there that day. Still, it’s just as well we went when we did, because the Fashion Cafe apparently opened in London in 1998 and went bust in 1999! The global story is of an even more spectacular failure.

The tennis coach would have been Jeremy or Shola, probably the latter, at Lammas Park in those days. It was Shola who introduced me and Janie to Boston Manor.

A Short Visit To Tony, Phillie & Charlie In Germany, 17 to 20 February 1995

Tony, Phillie & Charlie Graham (Janie’s twin & family) were living in (or rather just outside) Bad Homburg, in Hesse for a few years. We only visited them there once. This was that visit.

Charlotte was still a primary school kid so of course she was in a show and we went along to see it. The music was Carnival Of The Animals by Saint-Saëns. The children dressed as animals and danced.

Charlie was the elephant, Phillie in pink

The Graham Family had taken a town house on the outskirts of the town; modern build but the shape of a Georgian or Victorian town house in England – i.e. several floors with more or less a room per floor.

Janie and I occupied the basement spare room which could have been a granny flat.

Phillie’s OCDs were in full swing by then, so if we used the bathroom we’d here the patter of feet down the stairs soon after and Phillie would be in there cleaning. She’s have been fine in the time of Covid, he realises writing this up in early 2021.

We had a day out as best we could at that poor weather time of year – Tony fancied Heidelberg so we bundled into his Merc and off we all went. It was a good choice and the weather was not too bad. The vista in the headline picture is from there.

Don’t call me a square…oh I see, a picture of me IN a square

On Sunday morning I recall military-style operations in order to deposit garbage at the municipal dump. Apparently such matters are verboten auf sonntag, but such rules are not for Phillie so off we all went for some civil disobedience. Tony’s penance was to clean his car’s hubcaps afterwards with various accessories including, at one point, a toothbrush.

You learn a lot about your nearest and dearest if you stay with them for two or three nights.

On the Monday, we bade them goodbye and spent a few hours in Frankfurt before our flight home. We visited the Goethe House, which I loved. We also had time to take a lunch of Schweineshaxe which is a bit of a rare treat favoutrite for both of us and put us in a thoroughly good mood for our flight after a very enjoyable long weekend with the kin.

After Returning From Our Travels, A Busy Period Running Up To Christmas & Twixtmas, 14 to 31 December 1993 & Beyond

I had allowed an additional day to sort myself out after our return from our long break, so the delayed return…

A Dreadful Journey Home From Bali, Via Jakarta, Bangkok & Abu Dhabi, Worthy Of Complaint, “Courtesy” Of Garuda Indonesia, 12 & 13 December 1993

…was less problematic for me than it was for Janie.

Janie has not made that mistake again since – we both tend to allow plenty of leeway and sorting out time after our travels.

I had some pleasurable things to do as well as hard work on our return – a NewsRevue Smoker on 16th December – the concept of such smokers is explained in my 40th anniversary piece – here and below:

NewsRevue 40th Anniversary Party, Show & Smoker, Canal Cafe Theatre, 18 August 2019

…and a BDO Consulting Xmas lunch the next day. Not sure where we ate that year – but it mught have been the Bleeding Heart again – in any case I won’t have been interrogated in the 1988 mode – click here or below for that story:

Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants Christmas Lunch Virtually All Day, 14 December 1988

Janie took quite a bit of work over that first weekend back – 18 & 19 December. My diary is silent about the weekend. there was talk about meeting up with Kim & Micky on Monday 20th for dinner, but I think we canceled that out, again perhaps pressure of work and dread of meals out during that holiday season.

Janie even took a couple of clients on Christmas Eve, whereas I (still a BDO salaryman for the last holiday season) needed to use up my accumulated holiday days to avoid losing them. I had Microbee come to look at my cockroaches that morning instead.

I went to my parents on Christmas Day and Janie saw her mum. Janie and I got together for the holiday season on Boxing Day.

We spent part of the Twixtmas period at Janie’s and part of the time at mine. Phillie, Tony & Charlie were around that season and when they wanted to stay at Janie’s, we decamped to mine.

I think we took the three of them to the flicks at Whiteley’s on Tuesday 28 December. For sure we took them to see The Secret Garden at some point during that period. I think Charlie (aged 6 or 7 at that time) got a lot more out of that experience than any of the rest of us. I am pretty sure it was on that occasion, while walking from my flat to Whiteley’s, that Tony opined to me on the sanity (or otherwise) of Janie’s family; judging Janie to be the sanest one but not delving into where that assessment might stand on other benchmarks or spectra of sanity.

It was my good fortune to be spared the family trip to Bristol during Twixtmas, not least because I had some client work to do that Twixtmas (the International Transport Workers Federation didn’t shut down for Twixtmas).

Janie and I got together again for new years eve – a quiet one if I remember correctly.

I think we spent a fair chunk of that time going through our holiday pictures, and why not?

After spending the first couple of days of the new year at mine, as the family were still around, we then switched back to Janie’s place after another of those Worm family meals on Bank Holiday Monday (3rd January) at the North China Restaurant – still there as I write in January 2020. (The restaurant, not the Worm family).

So we spent the next weekend (8th/9th) at Janie’s; a quiet weekend by the looks of it.

Dinner With Phillie, Charlie & Others, But Where?, 3 July 1993

Janie’s diary says that Phillie [& Charlie] arrived on the Friday (2 July) and that Janie and I stayed at my palce that night. I’m guessing that the previous visit at Easter all squeezing into Sandall Clsoe had made that idea fall from favour. There was no need, given my flat’s proximity.

Janie’s diary says 6:45 at Restaurant “arrange three taxis”, so I am guessing that Pauline joined us as well.

But no clues as to the location.

It might have been North China again – I think we did all go there more than once and that location would have seemed ideal for triangulating those three addresses.

Easter Weekend With Phillie, Tony & Charlie In Ealing, 8 to 13 April 1993

My diary says that I played bridge with my gang at Tessa’s place on the Thursday evening. That would have been Tessa, Andrea and Maz.

Janie’s diary says that Phillie & family were arriving that day and that they were having dinner “at mum’s” that Thursday evening from 6.00 and that I would be coming over 12.30.

I think I had a key by then. Or this might have been the occasion that resulted in me having a key.

Anyway, Janie’s diary says that we all went for a meal at North China on the Friday evening. This is the gathering of Pauline, Phillie, Tony, Charlie, Janie and me, all around a Chinese restaurant table, that i recall so well from our early time together. I think we only ever did that as a group of six the once.

The diaries are very light on what we did. Possibly we didn’t do much.

To some extent Phillie, Tony & Charlie were probably using Sandall Close as a base to do other stuff.

Where the heck did everyone sleep at Sandall Close?

Anyway, we were all still talking to each other come the Tuesday, as the diary says we six (including Pauline) had a dinner party at Sandall Close on the Tuesday evening.

Janie and I both worked that day too.

I think the family stayed on with Janie until the Wednesday afternoon.

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Update: Charlotte indeed remembers:

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Update: Yes Charlie does indeed remember more than us!

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