The day after I met Janie for the first time, I wrote this little critter. Coincidentally about someone named Jani.
Jani Allan was a journalist who had allegedly been consorting with the white supremacist Eugene Terre’Blanche (he immortalised in an earlier lyric of mine, which was currently in the show). I thought this additional little piece might complement his song.
It’s a bit all over the place (much like its non-evil twin song), but I think it was used a couple of times over the summer, if for no other reason to reprise (reuse) the springbok masks from the Terre’Blanche song. If you want to know more about Jani Allan, some of the newspaper headline links – here – are at least as funny if not funnier than my lyric.
I FEEL PETTY
(To the Tune of “I Feel Pretty”)
VERSE 1 – JANI ALLAN
I am Jani, yes I’m Jani, I am canny, my man ‘e is white,
And my fanny, is with Eugene Terre’Blanche tonight;
I feel Nazis, private parties, though my heart is not party to crimes,
Even tarts see that the Nazis are bunch of slimes.
See the article in the Mirror there,
Why does everyone libel me?
I shall sue the Sun, and sue Channel 4, and the Guardian and I shall sue me.
I am petty, oh so petty, but I bet ‘e can get me a pile,
Cos I’m now the most soughter reporter for miles.
MIDDLE BIT – CHORUS
Have you seen my friend Michael Jackson,
The crazyist guy on the screen,
The strange parts that his surgeon tacks on,
Have made him look so weird and some say obscene.
He thinks he looks good, he thinks he’s a brain,
He doesn’t look good, he’s really insane.
Write a word or two about Michael, and he’s bound to sue you for libel;
VERSE 2 – MICHAEL JACKSON (LOOKING IN A MIRROR)
Woooo,
I look pretty, woooo so pretty, though this city is shitty I’m white;
It’s a pity that the papers libel me through spite.
See that pretty boy in that mirror there {CHORUS WITH PAPERS: this mirror here};
Doesn’t he look slightly like me {CHORUS: who what where who}
Such a pretty nose such a pretty face such a pretty hair pity its not me.
Woooo,
I am petty, oh so petty, like Paul Getty I’ve earned mega bucks,
I don’t care if I look like the back of a truck.
If you want to hear Natalie Wood sing I Feel Pretty and see the lyrics to that song, see below: