It is extraordinary to think that, more than 25 years after I wrote this lyric, as I write in March 2019, Ken Clarke is still sitting in the House of Commons; currently the father of the house. This lyric commemorated his elevation to Chancellor of the Exchequer.
KEN
(To the Tune of “Ben”)
VERSE 1
Ken, the Tory whips need look no more,
They have found their ideal Chancellor;
Your career is at its peak,
So with your ruthless streak,
We guess you’ll presently,
Cut back the treasury {cut back the treasury}.
VERSE 2
Ken you’re always running different posts {different posts},
We’re not sure which you’ve screwed up the most {screwed up the most};
If your legal mind by chance,
Can understand finance,
You’ll see that Britain’s spent,
‘Tho you are corpulent {yes you are corpulent}.
MIDDLE BIT
You used to say finance need,
Now it’s cut, now it’s bleed.
{You used to trust Tory wets
Now you just hedge your bets}
VERSE 3
Ken, the dry Tories will vote your way {will vote your way}
When the poor have got more tax to pay {more tax to pay}
Then what motivates you most,
Is your next Tory post,
If you go up again,
It will be number ten;
{Fat Ken}
Ascend
{Don’t spend}
Fat Ken.
Here is Michael Jackson singing Ben, with the lyrics on the screen: