A Short Break In Warwickshire For Tennis & Theatre, 13 to 17 May 2024

It was a monumental break – Welcombe Hills Obelisk/Monument

Long in the planning, this week off was a much-needed short vacation for me and Janie, having had no holiday time for yonks.

Yet we nearly didn’t even get started, as I had some sort of mishap at the start of the weekend before we set off.

Saturday and Sunday 11 & 12 May – Something’s Afoot

I woke up on Saturday morning feeling sore just under the lateral left ankle. Janie said I had been thrashing around, seemingly in pain, during the night. She had assumed cramp. I had no recollection of such thrashing but this felt like more than cramp.

An attempt to run it off playing tennis on Saturday morning (perhaps a foolish move) did not help; indeed I couldn’t even walk by the time we got home. Despite us spending Saturday afternoon and evening doing the RICE routine with the foot, come Sunday morning, I could still take no weight on the foot and was really concerned that our trip might be in jeopardy.

I thought I should inform Alastair Robson, one of The Doctors Of Leamington, who had organised the tennis and luncheon aspects of the trip: Leamington on the way up on the Monday and Moreton Morrell on the way home on the Friday.

Me & Alastair, no doubt talking balls, at Leamington in 2023

I regret to inform you that I have done myself a mysterious mischief around the ankle…Janie heard me scream out in pain during the night Friday (I have no recollection of it) and/but I had some sensitivity below my lateral ankle yesterday.  I thought I could “shake it off”, as the young folk say, but by last night and this morning I was more or less completely non-weight bearing.

We suspect the anterior talofibular ligament, which is utilising its right to remain silent but is looking more than a little guilty this morning.

The upshot as of this morning is that I cannot weight bear on that leg again yet, let alone run.  I am hopeful that my condition will improve quite rapidly but I don’t suppose I’ll be properly balanced/mobile again for a while.

I am happy to present myself at the tennis courts Monday and Friday to do the best I can, but the best I can might not be much good.  Janie and I would love to lunch with you if the friendly games and lunches go ahead, either with me or without me playing the tennis.  

Alastair sent a quintessentially retired-doctor’s (or more accurately, a quintessentially Alastair Robson) reply:

Aargh! But never dismiss the power of prayer (the Dr using irony as treatment – lost on some of the patients)…

There will be a pro knocking around in both clubs on the days in question, so we could always rope him in as a fourth, if need be…

Anterior talo-fib ligament?- a  very flash diagnosis: going for Honours, I presume.

A small sacrifice – a goat, say – to Jupiter might speed healing rate.

‘Better soon’ – as I also used to say a lot –

We did consider prayer and/or goat sacrifice – after all, the doctor had recommended it and you should always listen to the doctor, but decided to persevere with the RICE method. Within a few hours, I detected improvement and wrote again to Alastair:

When you have a podiatrist in the house, the phrase “sprained ankle” is simply not specific enough.  I’m certainly not aiming for yet more flashy honours at my age and stage!

Janie and I are neither praying to God, nor gods, nor sacrificing any beasts in hope rather than expectation.  But elevation yesterday evening, immobilisation overnight, ice this morning and the more meaningful sacrifice of the hour of lawn that Janie and I should be playing this morning, is, so far, paying significant dividends.  I’m still hobbling but can weight bear again now and the intense pain has subsided. 

Your Plan B regarding the pros availability as substitutes sounds ideal in the circumstances.   Given the trio of talent that would remain on show if I were to need to stop, the pros will no doubt be resorting to prayer and caprine/ovine sacrifice for the next 24 hours/few days respectively. 

See you tomorrow as planned.

Monday 13 May – Leamington For Tennis, Then On To Stratford-Upon Avon

By the Monday morning my left foot felt much better and I was happy to drive (which mostly works the right) and give the real tennis a try.

John Yarnall & I partnered well, I felt

Remarkably, I was barely hampered at all and I thought played pretty well, John Yarnall & I partnering well against Alastair and Norman Hyde. The latter two, me and Janie went to lunch at Cote, then Janie and I set off for Stratford.

We got to our Airbnb cottage around 17:00, which gave us time to dump our things and go off to the local Waitrose to get some provisions, before getting ready to go out to the theatre.

Our lovely cottage was located to the south-west of the centre, being about 10 minutes walk from the central shops, restaurants and theatres.

It was a bit wet in the evening, but still we strolled to The Other Place for our show, English, which I have written up separately – click here or below.

We enjoyed a light supper of bread and smoked salmon/trout with some wine. That stop at Waitrose paying dividends for the post show snack.

Tuesday 14 May – Rest, Talk & Dinner At Lambs

It was a wet day, Tuesday, but to be honest we were delighted to have a lie in and read in our cottage for much of the day. We had arranged to see a talk about the play English late afternoon/early evening. I did some research on places to eat and concluded that we should eat at Lambs. Lambs had been one of my haunts “back in the day”, had gone downhill at some point in the 1990s and/but had clearly gone back up again, based on more recent reviews and the look of it on-line.

The weather relented into a very pleasant late afternoon.

On our way to the talk, we stopped at Marcos, which I had assessed as “the deli most likely” for our trip. I was a bit short of the sort of coffee I like so we bought a pack of cafetière coffee. We showed interest in the food too, but I suspect Tony was not expecting to see us again when we departed on Tuesday, as he greeted us so warmly the next morning when we returned for bread and lasagne.

The talk about English was very interesting – described in the above piece about our visit to the show…or click here for that link.

After the talk, but before our dinner at Lambs, we had a drink in the garden of The Arden. This was a nice treat for us, as we stayed at The Arden last time we stayed in Stratford, in 2019, but the weather had not smiled enough for us to take a drink in the garden that time.

We enjoyed ourselves at Lambs so much Janie forgot to take “food porn” photos of our dinner. Take our word for it, it looked as good as it tasted. We ate:

  • Crispy Sweet Chilli Duck Salad with watercress, beansprouts and cucumber
  • Pan-fried Calves Liver with creamed potato, wilted spinach, pancetta and crispy shallots
  • Pork Chop with grilled hispi cabbage, creamed potato, crispy shallots, cider and bacon sauce
  • Bennett’s Farm Ice-cream

Yum.

Wednesday 15 May – Tennis, Town & Terrace

The weather was lovely on this day. We resolved to get some bread and some portions of lasagne from Marcos, which would enable us, together with the provisions we had already procured, to self-cater that day.

Problem was, we resolved to get to Marcos reasonably early to secure bread, but hadn’t taken into account the fact that the pasta dishes are not ready that early.

Had we phoned in advance…

Still, no hardship having a couple of hours to kill in Stratford. We decided to wander around town and also wander across the bridge to the Sports Club, to investigate tennis possibilities in person.

We bought some doggie gifts in the dog shop for Kim’s pooch. Then some sandals for me and shoes for Janie in the shoe shop. Then we strolled by the river and across the bridge to the sports centre.

The Sports Club people were friendly enough – they let us look at the tennis courts and informed me that I could register as a guest and pay to play if we wanted to. The courts are mostly carpet, with three being “euro clay” -i.e. synthetic clay (sand-like stuff) on a matting base. We thought we’d like to try the latter.

We strolled home via Marcos, where our lasagne and bread was waiting for us. Then we booked our tennis and readied ourselves for battle.

It took us both a while to get used to the clay-like bounce and/but we had a very good game on that surface, so we resolved to return the next morning, weather permitting.

After a light, late lunch of bread and prawn cocktail, we enjoyed the rest of the afternoon on the lovely, sunny terrace of our cottage. Then a restful evening in, enjoying our lasagne with salad and wine.

Thursday 16 May – Tennis, Coffee Shopping & Theatre

So taken had I been with the coffee I bought from Marcos (PNG Fire Dance from Monsoon Estates Coffee) I did some Googling and discovered that the company was a local importer/blender. I called them on the Thursday morning and they said that we could visit their place. I had booked a 10:00 tennis court so we agreed to visit Monsoon at 11:30.

We had another really good game of tennis. Glad I booked 10:00, as the threatened showers started soon after we finished playing – indeed while we were on our way to Monsoon.

Monsoon Anne

Anne and Chris at Monsoon were super friendly and helpful. We left with 3kg of coffee beans and the wherewithal to order more from them on-line once we need more.

Me, ready to make off with the stash

We stopped at Waitrose on the way back to get some cheeses and grapes for our lunch. We figured that those, plus some smoked mackerel we had procured on our first visit, would get us through this day.

A splendid late lunch of cheeses followed by some rest before the evening show made for a very enjoyable day. Plenty of time to get the salad ready for our post-show nosh too.

We saw The Buddha of Suburbia that night, which I have written up separately – click here or below:

A light supper on our return was just the ticket, as we didn’t get home until 10:00ish. It rounded off a great day very nicely.

Friday 17 May – Home Via Moreton Morrell & The Antelope Lighthorne

We said goodbye to our lovely little cottage in Stratford, setting off a little too early for our appointment at Moreton. We had ordered some more of Marco’s bread so stopped there on the way out of town, then went and had a quick look at the Welcombe Hills Obelisk/monument.

Been there, seen it, done it.

Then on to Moreton, where I was to partner Alastair this time, against the combined forces of Peter Mason and Bernie Spratt. For some reason Janie only shot video of this epic match. Fortunately for you, only a few seconds of “footage” survived.

The Moreton floor has been completely redone since my last visit. I found it hard to adjust to the new surface at first, but played reasonably well towards the end. The pairings worked well to make a good game.

The Antelope Lighthorne was a very pleasant country pub in which to take lunch and decompress after our efforts. Peter was unable to join us on this occasion but the four who remained, me, Janie, Alastair and Bernie, had a thoroughly enjoyable lunch.

An event-free drive home – how come I can drive 90+ minutes out of London without incident, while the London driving seems to be close to an incident or near miss every 90 seconds? – enabling us to unload and enjoy a relaxing Friday evening at home.

It had truly been a fun-packed and enjoyable break.

The Heavy Rollers Do The Ashes Test At Edgbaston, 15 to 17 June 2023

Unfortunately Charley The Gent could not join us this year, so we added a late substitute to the group of five – Jonny “Twophones” Hurst, a friend of mine from NewsRevue. As part of his initiation into the Heavy Roller clan, Jonny & I spent some hours together during the Ireland test match a couple of weeks earlier.

The other four of us were me, Daisy, Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks and Harish “Harsha Ghoble” Gohil.

But before all of that, my now traditional stop off in Leamington for some medicinal tennis with the good doctors of that town.

Not just tennis, but a very pleasant lunch, after a very entertaining tennis match that was a close-fought affair. Five of us (four players plus Janie) sat down and the time flew by, such that I started to worry that we’d get no food and/or be late for dinner.

By the time Janie and I had done the picnic shopping, located our lovely digs in Moseley and unpacked, it was more or less time to meet Harish and Nigel for dinner. (Jonny chose to join us at the ground the next morning).

We went to our now traditional (since Nigel and I discovered the place in 2016), excellent Persian restaurant, Colbeh, on the Hagley Road.

Yum.

Friday 16 June 2023 – Day One

Early start for me as there was a picnic to pull together. Then a 25 minute stroll to the ground for me and Daisy. Bit of a queue, but not too bad at 10:15. We guessed that 5 or 10 minutes earlier the next day would be easier yet. We were right.

Daisy enjoyed photographing the pre match hullabaloo and our reaction to it.

Daisy also likes to photograph people behind the Eric Hollies Stand. Those people don’t seem to mind.

Who knew that Lord Farquaad and Princess Fiona were test cricket fans?

The weather was glorious and the cricket was captivating throughout our time at Edgbaston – indeed the whole match was a cracker.

We were all exhausted at the end of Day One, so went back to our respective diggings and regrouped the next morning.

Saturday 17 June 2023 – Day Two

Daisy took some more pictures during the lunch interval of Day Two.

She also persuaded our mystery lunchtime visitor to take a picture of us…

…then Ged took a picture of the mystery visitor with the Nigel, Daisy and Harish. All the while, Jonny Twophones was off on some mystery mission of his own.

Sam, who was said “mystery guest” wrote up his (apparently) terrifying experience on King Cricket, linked here and below:

In the matter of having a picture of all five of us rollers, Harish put matters right, photographically, with the following five-face selfie – very deft:

You can see all the photos on Flickr by clicking here or below.

The whole match really was a cracker, you can read all about it and see the scorecard here.

Of course it was not the same without Chas, but it was still a monumental Heavy Rollers occasion, with great company, good food and amazing cricket, lovely cricket.

How I Lost My Virginity Three Times In Less Than A Week, Yet Didn’t Lose A Match, 10, 14 & 15 October 2019

One of the many wonderful things about real tennis is that every court is significantly different and each has an interesting history and prevailing culture.

Before this week, I had tried seven courts other than my home court at Lord’s. This week I lost my virginity on three more courts. That takes my tally up to eleven. There are fewer than 50 active courts in the world.

10th October 2019: The Hamsters v The Dedanists, Hampton Court Palace

I was honoured to be selected to debut for The Dedanists in this fixture. This selection could only possibly be to do with the progress I am making with my skills at tennis, so the request that came through shortly after my selection; “would you mind also being the match reporter for this match?” was clearly a coincidental, additional honour.

Me and Dedanist doubles partner James McDermott: with thanks to Carl Snitcher for several photographs from that day, not least those that depict me.

I arranged to give Dedanist team captain Carl Snitcher a lift to and from the match, which enabled Carl to concentrate on vital captaincy duties (such as enjoying some wine with the oppo) and gave us both a chance to have very pleasant conversations to and from the match.

Alastair Robson fizzes the ball over the net while Carl Snitcher guards Henry VIII

The match report, hacked by yours truly, needs no repeating here, as it is available on The Dedanists match report blog page – click here for a link to that site…

…or click here for a scrape of that page with the relevant report at the top of the page for posterity.

In true Harris match report style, you can learn vital details about the food and beverage, not just the tennis.

Iain Harvey larking about
Ian Harris marking a bout

I even got to mark the final rubber of the match; another first for me. I rather enjoyed that role. In fact, I enjoyed every bit of that day at Hampton Court Palace.

14 October 2019: Leamington Tennis Court Club

Janie and I had arranged a short trip to Stratford-Upon-Avon to see A Museum In Baghdad, so I put out some feelers to see if I could arrange some tennis at one or both of the clubs nearby. Real tennis folk are incredibly welcoming, so it was with great ease (on my own part) that I quickly had arrangements to try both.

On the Monday; Leamington, thanks to Alastair Robson.

Arriving at Leamington; thanks to Janie for the pictures and vids
Peter & I prepare to serve, Johnny looks on, Alastair is hazard-end bound

We had a very enjoyable game of doubles. Peter was an excellent partner to have on an alien court; full of praise when things went well for me and full of patience on the many occasions I ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. He, Alastair and Johnny clearly play for the enjoyment of the sport, the exercise and the social side of it.

All five of us enjoyed a good lunch at Gusto, about three minutes walk from the club. Between snapping and chomping, Janie did a bit of shopping in Leamington while waiting for us to finish playing. According to Janie, Monday lunchtime shopping in Leamington is currently an even more rarefied activity than real tennis.

15 October 2019: Moreton Morrell Tennis Court Club

John Franklin very kindly arranged for me to play at that other Midlands real tennis court/club; Moreton Morrell. So Janie and I diverted/stopped off there on the way home from Stratford.

Parking Up Dumbo Outside Moreton Morrell

Built in 1905, a wealthy American member of Leamington resolved his differences with that long-established club by building his own court and starting his own club on his country estate.

John welcomes me to Moreton
Moreton’s variant of the Hampton Court scoring abacus

While the Leamington surface is as bouncy as I have encountered, the Moreton Morrell surface is even less bouncy than Lord’s…

…but if you hit one of the cracks on the surface anything might happen:

John and I had a very good game. We pretty much always have a very good game; the handicapping system doing its job with precision. A one-set-all draw, as indeed was the doubles fixture in Leamington the previous day.

John, Janie and I went on to the Lighthorne Pavilion Cafe for lunch; a charming place nearby, suitably based at a local cricket club but open all year round. A very pleasant environment in which to unwind, eat and chat after a game of tennis.

So there it went; my virginity on three real tennis courts, now lost for ever; but I didn’t lose any of the matches and I do very much hope to play on all three courts again.