The subject was Sobers, Janie was, believe it or not, sober
I spotted and booked this one on the members’ on-line system, before it was announced and several weeks before Alan Rees mentioned it to me in the library.
An interesting character, Garry (or should I say Sir Garfield) Sobers. As David Tossell said in his opening remarks about his book, Sobers has not been well served in print previously, with several books of dubious quality and little digging into his impoverished early life and his colourful career.
Before the talk, a traditional Library Book Club supper with two tasty courses, the most photogenic of which was the pud:
Then the talk.
David Tossell peppered his talk with fascinating anecdotes and well-chosen visualsAttentive. No attention deficit here. Which is more than might be said for Sobers
I can hardly wait to read the book. I expect there’ll be a reference in it to that day in 2009, which was surely a major moment in Garry Sobers cricket career…at least it was in mine.
Seriously, as always it was a most enjoyable evening; initially the dining and chatting with interesting folk around us. Then the bonus of a fascinating book talk.
The original Hinds Trophy being presented in March 2023
The following text (or an edited version of it) will shortly appear on the MCC website, along with some of the photographs taken on the night. When that happens, I'll add a link.
Sixty years ago, in March 1966, one of the most coveted trophies in global sport, The Jules Rimet Trophy, was stolen from its apparently secure display location in Westminster. A couple of days after an aborted ransom sting, a dog named Pickles discovered a parcel containing the trophy in a hedge beside his owner’s home. Pickles became an overnight sensation, the Jules Rimet was presented at the 1966 Football World Cup Final, before being retained by Brazil, then, a few years later, in Rio, permanently stolen.
The Hinds Trophy (aka The Skills Night Wooden Spoon Trophy), another of the most coveted trophies in global sport, recently had a similar journey. The original Hinds was snatched from its secure location behind the Lord’s hazard end galleries, at some point in the summer or autumn of 2024. No ransom was ever demanded, nor was any canine heroism involved, as far as we know. But just a few weeks ago, long after its replacement with a replica trophy, the original Hinds reappeared just as mysteriously as it had disappeared. The replacement Hinds will continue to be engraved and displayed. The original Hinds is now preserved at a highly secure, secret location.
Ironically, the coveted Hinds Trophy was nearly won this time by Andrew Hinds’s own team, Three Ravens. Numerically and temporally challenged in many ways, that team started with just two but ended up with four players. They need words, not numbers; the collective noun for ravens is “an unkindness”.
The ravens team was especially unkind to two teams. By performing so well on the final discipline, they knocked Souldiers Three (Hugo Fenwick, Gavin Yeats & David Pritchard) into the Hinds Trophy slot. Then, with the final scoring of the event, those unkind ravens denied Three Things In Store late surge to the top spot. Instead, Three Poor Mariners – Richard Boys-Stones, Mary Strevens & Huw Humphreys – were, fairly, reinstalled at the top of the podium.
The Close But No Cigar Award went to neophyte Gerald Slocock, whose ability to almost-but-not-quite hit a target might become the stuff of legend, if he maintains form in that regard.
The Most Valuable Player (MVP) Award went to Shaheed “Sid” Rashid, not least for being the only player to score two points off one hit on the central beam of the dedans gallery.
The Philip The Bold Golden Moment Award went to John Thirlwell, for an extraordinary hat trick of coups du pataugeoire -landing the serve in a paddling pool – which is much harder than it sounds.
There is a serious purpose to skills night; honing skills. True, most of the skills honed on such nights involve eating curry, drinking, singing and the like, but the evening does include some real tennis skills too.
Skills night unquestionably proves the skills of the MCC admin team who organise the event so well, and our tennis professionals, who make the game swing with great reliability. Which is more than can be said for most of us players’ tennis swings!
My self-report card: 10/10 for a wonderful weekend, 9/10 for effort, 6/10 for performance, 0/10 for results.
I have written at length about the MCC Tennis Weekend before and certainly don’t want to bore regular readers. For those who have not read about such matters before: the 2024 report majors on tennis derring-do and nervousness about method acting…
This year I’ll focus on the tennis. To get the least interesting bit out of the way, I’ll simply say that my partner, Jeremy Norman, and I, did not do well. Group B was especially strong this year, as evidenced by our group’s runners up eventually taking the top prize – Mason Sharp Trophy. Someone has to bring up the rear in each group.
We did, however, try hard. We also provided some entertainment…in a good way. We even influenced the result of the tournament by eliminating one of the stronger pairs in our last rubber, thus providing the eventual winners a semi-final slot. The following clip shows probably our best, albeit in vain, efforts during that last round robin match.
20 stroke rests don’t happen all that often at our level.
At the very start of our campaign, on the Friday, we were up against Giles Stogdon – my partner from last year, who literally produced a “lights out tennis” moment on court:
Jeremy Norman and I are absolutely convinced that, had it not been for the lighting deficiency on court for the rest of the tournament, we would have prevailed in all of our matches. 😉 . We would say that, wouldn’t we?
As for the Chair of tennis, Graeme Marks, he seemed hell bent on using the prerogative of the chair to sneak those extra few points that can make all the difference. A net cord that still makes the winning line, a spin-backer onto the grille ledge, another spin-backer into the dedans from his partner in crime, Paul Wollocombe…
…not that such “tactics” were enough to get them through to the semis, despite recording a good round robin win against the eventual trophy winners. Such is tournament tennis sometimes.
I was able at least to relax for most of the Sunday, after playing my heart out for pride just before lunch. The semi-finals and finals were a good fun watch, not least because of the convivial (and at times almost rowdy) atmosphere amongst those members who chose to stay and watch the concluding afternoon of the tournament.
It really is always a grand finale and enjoyable afternoon, regardless of the quality or excitement of the tennis matches. This year, as it happens, the tournament built up to a humdinger of a Mason Sharp final, which went all the way to a deciding game.
Firstly, for those who want to watch it, the final of the Osborn Parker (C/D Groups). Iain Harvey & Sebastian Maurin v Andrew Hinds & Giles Watkins.
Secondly, for those who would like to see the whole match, the final of the Mason Sharp (A/B Groups). Steven Bishop & Paul Cattermull v Nigel Smith & Paul Wickman.
If you only fancy the last three minutes of the big final, having already learnt that it went to a deciding game…here is just the deciding game:
It is most unusual for a team from the B group to prevail in the final – let alone the runners-up from the B group. In this case, even more unusual because Paul Wickman went home after their round robin loss on the final morning assuming that his pair had been eliminated. In fact, as the group had panned out, the comparative scores meant that Havey and Walker needed to thrash me and Jeremy Norman in the final round robin rubber of the group in order to overtake Smith and Wickman.
I did berate Paul Wickman, while also congratulating him on a fine tournament win, for assuming that Jeremy and I would be thrashed. “I hadn’t thought it through to that extent”, was his excuse.
Fortunately, “going home” for Paul did not mean “going over the hills, far away and unable to return.” He and Nigel put on a fine show, both in the semi-final and the final. Two of their very best rests were in the semi-final, which I shall use as a closing clip for this piece.
The atmosphere at Lord’s was terrific all weekend. So much effort goes in from staff and volunteer organisers to make the tournament seem effortless on the weekend itself. The organisational effort and skills cannot be demonstrated in a 90 second YouTube clip…but, fortunately, the tennis skills and effort can:
Tennis, Followed By London Spirit v Oval Invincibles Double-Header, Observed Mostly From Pelhams, 5 August 2025
Actually I’m not sure whether we are supposed to pronounce the Lord’s Warner Stand Restaurant, which is named Pelhams, “Plums” or “Pelhams”. These days, probably the latter.
Anyway, I was cordially invited to enjoy the first The Hundred day of the season, London Spirit v Oval Invincibles, from the giddy heights of that restaurant, courtesy of the committee, as a thank you for being on the tennis subcommittee.
Here’s me looking suitably giddy up there. I took this picture to alert Colin Stutt, aka Olaf The Buddhist Viking, to the fact that I was there. I reported Olaf’s baby steps into cricket thusly:
Since then, his enthusiasm for our sport has led him as far as Perth to watch a Women’s test match and back to Lord’s a couple of years later with a party of eight, including his daughter, Laura, for her 30th birthday treat – Laura’s idea! I conspired with Olaf to arrange a surprise personal tour around the pavilion for Laura during the interval between the two matches.
But before all of that, I had a good left-handed hit on the real tennis court with John Beatty & Giles Stogdon, ably assisted by Chris Bray who mopped up after my less penetrative shots. I thought I played quite well in the circumstances.
Then to Pelhams, where the tennis subcommittee was being entertained along with several other subcommittees, including the folk that organise the MCC cricket fixtures. The women’s fixtures committee included two people I know well: Leshia Hawkins from the ECB and Marilyn Smith from Middlesex.
Having done my homework a little earlier in the day, I surprised my fellow guests with my knowledge of the chanteuse who was to entertain us during the interval: Mimi Webb.
Just as well that no-one was able to challenge the depth of my knowledge there.
Leshia and I bonded further in the matter of music by both recognising one of the songs available for The Hundred app users to choose as the walk-on music for Danielle Gibson: Ride On Time, which, I am delighted to announce, was chosen by the majority and therefore played. A rare success for me – both recognising the song and being successful in choosing it.
Walking round to the Edrich Stand to collect Laura for her surprise tour reminded me why I normally choose any time other than the intervals for walking around. The ground was heaving.
Still, we navigated the crowds and I was able to provide Laura with a fairly comprehensive, albeit slightly idiosyncratic tour of the pavilion. I don’t suppose many tours focus quite so much on the portraits of Spencer Ponsonby-Fane and Rachel Heyhoe Flint, but we had our reasons.
Laura was wearing a sash announcing that it was her 30th birthday, which encouraged many people to greet Laura warmly and wish her happy birthday. Laura surmised that I must know lots of people in the pavilion, which was slightly true, but a lot of the friendly greeters were not people I know – they were just friendly people. It is a genial collection of folk, young and old, in the pavilion on The Hundred days. I welcome it wholehearedly.
After Laura’s tour, I got back just in time to chow down eagerly, while watching the men’s match fizzle disappointingly. While the women’s match had been an excellent advertisement for women’s cricket, I thought the men’s Hundred match was a good advert for test match cricket, coming just a day after the end of a magnificent test series. Still, that second match gave me an opportunity to chat with some of my fellow tennis committee folk and also some of the other people in Pelhams that evening.
Without Leisha’s guidance, I made a foolish choice of walk-on music for the men’s match, not recognising the name Insomnia as the following track, which contains an infectious riff, which is very suitable (once you get 2/3rds of the way through the track) and was indeed chosen:
An exhilarating afternoon and evening: I got plenty of sleep that night.
Playing Tennis & Watching Cricket & Tennis On MCC Women’s Day, 8 August 2025
I had arranged to play tennis at 14:00, after the two-hour MCC Women’s Day gathering on the tennis court, to which I had not been invited as a player.
I arrived at Lord’s around 12:00, determined to watch some cricket and tennis before I played. I am very glad I did that.
The first match on the cricket pitch was between an MCC XI and Gunnersbuty WCC. This was in part a celebration of “The Gunns” centenary year.
Originally from “out our way” around Ealing/Gunnersbury (who knew), the club has actually moved around a lot, now in Barnet, but at one time (1960s) based at Boston Manor Park, where Janie and I play our “lawn”.
I must have been going through a purple patch in Boston Manor Park at that time
I watched with divided loyalties, as The Gunns turned what looked like a losing cause into an excellently-timed successful run chase.
After that, I watched the women at tennis for a while, chatting with those who were off the court.
Then it was my turn to play, with three great stalwarts: Michael Keane, Max McHardy and Barry Nathan. I worked out that, between the four of us, there were only three organic hips on the court, the other five, including Pinky, my new right hip, being prosthetic. Max boasted that both of his hips are originals, only then to confess that both of his knees are falsies.
I decided to name us The Bionic Quartet. I asked DeepAI to try to depict “The Bionic Quartet” based on a short description:
Not bad. I suggested fewer beards and tennis rackets rather than musical instruments:
Hmmm – AI seems determined to depict vast amounts of facial hair, even when asked not to. I didn’t dare try to get the software to depict real tennis rackets.
I stuck around briefly after tennis to see a bit of the second cricket match, but the thought of avoiding the rush hour on the tube and getting home in good time became a greater draw than the cricket quite quickly. I have seen a lot of the stuff over the past few weeks and will be seeing plenty more before the season is completely done.
Seeking an opportunity to spend some hours talking about life, the universe and everything…
…but in particular our shared interests in theatre and early music…
…I suggested a “relaxed day” at Lord’s, when the cricket was to be a club day, the crowd was due to be very small and we could readily chat, It would also enable me to show Ben cricket in its more traditional, low key form.
The idea worked.
It seemed to me most peculiar that Benjamin Schwarz, who is a self-confessed huge fan of the writing of CLR James, had never before seen a cricket match.
Frankly, Ben still hasn’t seen much cricket, but he has seen the pavilion in all its glory, and watched a bit of cricket from the Long Room and the front of the lower terrace. He has supped in the Bowlers’ Bar and dined in the Long Room Bar.
Ben has also seen the library, including the CLR James treasures therein.
Most importantly, Ben has now experienced the gentle art of watching on, while chatting about every subject under the sun with the possible exception of cricket. Actually we talked quite a lot about cricket too, including my cricket “origins” story…
…but not The Heavy Rollers origin story, which is differently interesting, not least the link to Nigel’s story, which is so close to a creation story it has a genuinely Old Testament ring to it, but without the ultraviolence.
One very strange coincidence emerged from our conversations, which was the fact that Ben’s son had recently lived on the very block in New Cavendish Street, formerly Upper Marylebone Street, where my dad was born and where Thomas Paine wrote the second part of The Right Of Man.
I told Ben about my research and discovery about the misattribution of the address and scolded myself for not getting round to writing it up. Ben agreed. I have subsequently written it up:
…including the indoor school which was eerily quiet, we returned to the pavilion briefly before Ben realised that he needed to get to the Orange Tree theatre in Richmond, so we set off at pace for Edgware Road tube.
Ben said he had a most enjoyable day, as did I, so that’s good.
We didn’t cover half the topics we meant to chat through, so of course we’ll simply have to meet again very soon and spend a pleasant day covering those.
Real tennis Hong Kong dragon, not to be confused with a Welsh dragon
Tom Carew Hunt, in liaison with Charlie Barrows of Real Tennis Hong Kong, thought this occasion an ideal excuse…or should I say opportunity…to have an MCC v RTHK fixture on the same day.
It was a very bright idea which made for a very enjoyable day.
Ton Carew Hunt in the Lord’s dedans gallery, no doubt expounding on another bright idea
We MCC members had several conversations about ensuring that we were able to introduce all of our visitors into the pavilion during the day, only to discover that it was a “relatively relaxed” day, with no requirement to sign guests in.
After my rubber, I “introduced” (or rather, made an unnecessary attempt to sign in) John McVitie, with whom I supped in the Bowlers’ Bar watching cricket for a while, until an untimely short shower temporarily put paid to the cricket.
In the end, despite there being plentiful cricket to watch, I spent most of my time in the dedans gallery, where the majority of the tennis players were hanging out, watching tennis and chatting.
I did offer to mark a rubber or two, but Charlie Barrows was keen to mark most of the match. Tom marked one rubber, which I am told included a controversial call. But, sadly, my investigative journalism came to nought when the players all clammed up under interrogation. Strangely, it transpires that the video camera, normally in full flow throughout such matches, was suspiciously turned off during our match. “Fault-er-gate” will thus remain one of those unsolved mysteries.
Richard Wyse, Peter Brunner, Anthony Prince & Bill Higson line up for the final rubber
Below is the results card, showing, in excruciating detail, everything that Joe Public might like to know about this fixture, and more.
Although MCC took both the men’s and women’s cricket matches on the field of play, Real Tennis Hong Kong pipped MCC in the tennis fixture.
But more important than the result was the warmth and friendliness of the atmosphere throughout the day. Of course, most of the RTHK players are long-term friends of the MCC players through the real tennis community, plus, in many cases, through also being members of the MCC. It was lovely to spend a day at tennis and cricket in that relaxed and congenial setting.
I had hoped to get to Lord’s a bit earlier than 4:15 on Disability Cricket Day, but work and other necessities intervened. By the time I got to Lord’s, most of the peripheral activities had finished, although there were still plenty of people enjoying their day around the Nursey Ground, especially the small stand at the side of the Cricket Academy.
Some of my steward friends urged me to hurry round to the pavilion side of the ground, lest I missed the whole of the flagship match between England and India, as England were seven-down for diddly-squat.
But this was no day for hurrying – I ambled around with my tennis equipment in hand, with a view to stowing the equipment and working out where to sit.
I had no jacket and tie with me, but suspected that it would be a “relaxed dress code” day and that my smart casual look would be sufficient to gain entry into the pavilion.
I asked one of my steward friends whether it was relaxed dress code today.
Totally relaxed – they’ve even told us we can let people in wearing flip-flops today.
I was flabberghasted.
I wish I’d phoned to ask before I left home. I’ve always wanted to wear flip-flops in the pavilion.
Relaxed dress – I still have this longyi somewhere…and flip-flops
On asking one question about the nature of this disability match, another friendly steward handed me a programme – then I found a seat on the front terrace.
The programme was helpful in answering my questions about what “mixed disability” is. In short, there are three categories of disability cricket:
Physical Disability;
Deaf / Hearing Impairment;
Learning Disability.
This mixed disability format requires a mixed team because all three categories of disability need to be represented in the top four batting and each category needs to bowl at least 25% of the overs – thus requiring a minimum of two bowlers from each category.
Clever.
By the time I had got my head around it, the England innings had revived somewhat and were making a good game of it for the last few overs of its 20 over allocation.
That said, India set off in the power play looking as though they would make short shrift of the 124 target.
At that juncture, I realised that I needed to go to the dressing room and change for my next gig – real tennis club night, which I curate, so it would be rude to be late.
On my way out, as I progressed through the Long Room, I ran into Arfan Akram, besuited in a conventional MCC stylee, whom I know well from his role with Essex and my role with the London Cricket Trust.
After greeting me warmly, and us both agreeing that the disability cricket day seemed to be a great success, Arfan asked,
are you going to write this up on your blog?
You don’t say no to Arfan without good reason.
Yes, of course,
I said.
In truth, I was really impressed by the quality of the cricket. It is the first time I have seen this mixed disability format. I think it is a great idea, to showcase the best of the disability cricketers and to encourage players in each of those three disability categories to aspire to make the most of their talents.
I can’t find any video from the match I saw, but here is a YouTube of the mixed disability match earlier in the day, MCC v Middlesex D40 First XI, which was also a humdinger:
I tried to explain to anyone who’d listen to me that I should be allowed to represent at mixed disability cricket, given the ravages of time and the advent of Pinky, my brand-new hip.
I was politely informed that I wouldn’t be good enough, not that I really needed anyone to tell me, given the quality of cricket I had witnessed.
No such impediment for real tennis club night. We play a mixed ability format, the criterion for which is quite straightforward – all are welcome regardless of ability.
Just as well that criterion is simple, because real tennis is a complex game which we amateurs play on handicap. For “all are welcome” sessions such as club night, where several of the players tend to be of unknown or unsettled handicaps, I favour the use of sliding handicaps, to ensure that each set will tend towards a tight finish. Works almost every time.
Again, no footage from club night itself (heaven forbid) but I do have some footage of several of us regular “Club-night-istas” at play in early February, just before I parted company with Pinky’s organic predecessor.
Of the four of us depicted, only me and Mike Lay were at Club Night this June. Mike was my nemesis on that February “quarter-final-like” occasion, and proved to be so again at Club Night, even though my ability to move has already come on leaps and bounds since February and the op.
It is wonderful, though, to be back on court playing with my friends again, without pain and at something starting to approach the level to which I aspire.
Back To Lord’s The Next Morning For Some Endorsing, While The MCC & MCC Foundation Launched The Knight-Stokes Cup
Young people…at Lord’s…enjoying themselves? Whatever next?
After a physiotherapy session first thing (planned, I hasten to add, not a reaction to the tennis the night before, which my body seemed to absorb most satisfactorily), I returned at 9:15 to Lord’s for a full morning of candidate endorsing.
When I agreed to endorse on the morning of 26 June, I didn’t realise that we’d end up doing the interviews in The President’s Suite of the Grandstand, while the MCC and the MCC Foundation launched the wonderful Knight-Stokes Cup for independent schools:
In some ways, there was something incongruous about conducting candidate endorsement interviews on such an auspicious occasion. Hardly any, if any of the candidates we interviewed that day had been to a state school. Still, the MCC can only do its best to try and widen its demographic; the Knight-Stokes Cup is one of the better ideas behind which the club is throwing its weight.
My interviewing partner for the session was Steven Bishop, another real tennis enthusiast who, coincidentally, had been one of my nemeses in the 2024 real tennis club weekend – on that occasion in a nail-biting semi-final:
But I digress.
We mostly interviewed young folk in this session and tried our best to present a very 21st century demeanour. Steven, in particular, spoke with them in detail about the MCC Foundation and the wonderful work it does, both nationally and internationally.
Steven did, however, on one occasion, while waxing lyrical about all the wonderful work the Foundation does overseas, mention Zaire, which slightly took me aback, partly because I had no idea that the MCC Foundation was active in DR Congo (I’m not 100% sure it is), and secondly because that country hasn’t been called Zaire since the previous millennium (1997 to be precise). I held my tongue. At least that small error is steeped in the late 20th century and not the 19th century, where the typical and unfair caricature of an MCC member, blissfully unaware that Queen Victoria is no longer with us, is perceived mentally to reside.
After six interviews I parted company with Steven and progressed, after a very short break for some lunch, to…
Steep Myself In The MCC’s 19th Century History – Research In The Library On Spencer Ponsonby-Fane & Other Related Topics
As part of my research for my forthcoming talk & small treatise on the emergence of the laws of tennis (lawn variety) around 1875, a central character in that story is Sir Spencer Cecil Brabazon Ponsonby-Fane, who chaired the MCC Tennis committee at the time those laws emerged and who also founded what is now MCC Heritage and Collections, including the Library and Museum.
Alan Rees in the library, as usual, was enormously helpful and had found some fascinating stuff for me to examine – some of which is highly pertinent to my talk and some of which is the sort of wonderful rabbit hole down which I like to dive when doing this sort of research.
When Alan told me about it, I thought the Ricardo in question was John Lewis Ricardo, perhaps the most famous of the nephews of the great political economist David Ricardo. But no, the cricket-loving Ricardo who was one of the first members of I Zingari and thus hanging out with Spencer Ponsonby and the like, was one of John Lewis Ricardo’s younger brothers, Albert Ricardo, whose wife, Charlotte Ricardo, aka Daisy, compiled the album.
It’s a shame that John Lewis Ricardo was not the cricketer, as I wanted to say that he was “never knowingly under bowled”. I’ve said it anyway.
Soon after 4:00, I decided that it would only be polite for me to return home and start preparing the birthday meal that I had promised my own Daisy, so I headed off around 4:15, almost exactly 24 hours after I arrived for the first of my four activities, having spent more time at Lord’s during that 24 hour period than away from the place.
Scrubbed up for the Friday evening bash – photo by Jonathan Ellis-Miller
This year’s Ogblog report on this wonderful MCC event is authored by a special correspondent, “Two Loos” Le Trek, who chooses to write up my experience in the first person. My noms de plume are getting out of hand.
Build Up & Day One: Friday 31 January 2025
I received a somewhat excited WhatsApp from Giles Stogdon just over two weeks before the event. He’d learned that we’d been drawn to partner each other. We agreed that we were both pleased with that idea and found an opportunity to partner for an hour of doubles before the weekend, as we have recently spent more time opposing one another than partnering.
…this year I had no trouble banishing the negative thoughts, other than my slight concern that my mobility issues resulting from my cartilage-free hip might hamper me in battle with the high-achievers that populate Group B.
Anyway, I threw myself into practice and match play in the run up to the 2025 tournament:
On arrival – quite late in the morning Friday as our two matches spanned lunchtime – I plonked myself in the pavilion home dressing room, as the tennis dressing room was heaving by then.
The Captain’s place remained available for me…again!
My Ged Ladd persona has written about this phenomenon elsewhere:
Unlike regular matches and tournaments, the club weekend comprises vignette matches, played on the clock for 25 minutes including changeover and warm-up. When the alarm goes, only completed games count.
On Day One, Giles & I got off to a slow yet solid start. We drew our first round robin match, against Iain Harvey & Roger Davis, but managed to prevail in our second match against Nick Davidson & Paul Wickman.
I have scraped my matches (along with some highlights of the whole tournament for the “official” match report) onto YouTube.
If you are sufficiently potty, you might choose to watch some or all of the play in these YouTube films.
A Sufficiently Potty Subplot: A Tale Of Two Shitties
Peter Luck-Hille, a doyen of real tennis if ever there was one, has, in the last year, been through the hip replacement process. He has provided me with lots of helpful advice over the past few months.
Peter kindly offered to lend me his raised toilet seats, which are an absolute must, at least for the first few days or weeks at home, until the recovering leg is comfortably mobile enough for a normal-height toilet seat.
“No point you buying them – you’ll not need them for long”, said Peter.
Peter was due to play in the tournament, so we planned to shift the bulky goods from car boot to car boot on the Friday of the tournament.
But plans sometimes go awry. Unbeknown to me, Peter was poorly in the run up to the tournament and withdrew. Despite his indisposition, he kindly transported the seats to Lord’s earlier in the week, where they adorned the pros office in the run up to the tournament.
Chris Bray accosted me as soon as he saw me and asked, as politely as only he is able, to get those hideous things out of the pros office as soon as possible. He said they were lowering the tone of the place.
“Don’t you mean raising the tone?”, I said, “they are certainly in the business of raising something”.
We agreed that I would shift the items into my car after I had played my Friday afternoon matches.
I didn’t particularly want to be seen struggling through reception and into Car Park No 6 with those items, so I picked what I thought was a tactically smart time to do the deed – towards the end of the rubber after mine, when most of the players who were still around would be watching.
Yet somehow, despite my seemingly cunning timing, I was of course destined to bump into friends while I did the deed. Piers Vacher, for example, and Rob Stain, the latter bringing some nominative determinism to this comedy of embarrassment.
“If only I had my camera with me”…
…said, Rob, kindly.
I changed and stopped over at the flat Friday night into Saturday morning. The loo seats remained in the back of my car, covered with tarpaulin, until I returned to the house on Saturday evening. For some inexplicable reason, I chose not to schlep two loo seats up into the flat on Friday afternoon and then back down again on Saturday.
On arrival at the house, where Janie sanitised them. If she could have fitted them in her autoclave, she’d have autoclaved them.Not their final resting place, obviously, but where Pu & Pi (as they are now named) await action.
The Friday Evening Bash – Concluding With A Differently Potty Tale
Me with Clive Picton, photo by Jonathan Ellis-Miller
On Friday evening, dinner in the Committee Dining Room was great. I sat next to Clive Picton on one side and Tony Joyce on the other – both people I have played with and chatted with over the years but had not caught up with for a while.
The food was very good, as usual. A smoked salmon fillet thing with interesting garnish as a starter, a chicken supreme with mushroom sauce and trimmings as the main and a crumble of some description for afters…
…can you tell that I forgot to grab one of the menus as I left?
The after dinner speech was by realist Lindsay MacDuff, aka The Culture Colonel, then cheese, port, coffee, chocolates and all that. I was quite abstemious by the standards of most, but not THAT abstemious given the special occasion.
I was among the last few to leave, yet knew nothing that night about the curious…some might say potty…incident that occurred at the end of the evening. I learnt about it the next day from Jonathan Ellis-Miller.
The Mouse Cricket Caper is a lovely book, authored by MCC member and realist Mark Trenowden, set in the Lord’s pavilion. The climax of the story depends on an unfortunate incident on the night after the traditional MCC v Melbourne match in July 2013, in which a comedic MCC member named McCrackers gets locked in a pavilion toilet and then, after breaking out of the loo and into the pavilion proper, witnesses the pivotal match between the Lord’s pavilion mice and a team of chancer rats.
In truth, I found it hard to suspend belief at the bit where McCrackers gets locked in the toilet, as I have always imagined the stewarding to be especially sharp about making certain that the pavilion has been vacated.
Yet, somehow, at our event, Nigel Smith and Piers Vacher conspired inadvertently to get themselves locked outside on the Committee Dining Room balcony at the end of the evening. Apparently they were enjoying one last crafty cigarette and admiring the beauty of the ground while doing so.
This picture by Janie from two floors further down, February 2023
Fortunately the story has a happy, albeit comedic ending, as Nigel & Piers were able to alert staff who were still clearing up inside and escape relatively unfrozen. It would have been a long cold night stuck out there, that’s for sure.
I haven’t asked either Nigel or Piers if they saw any rats or mice during their lock-in adventure. In any case, they might not be reliable witnesses to their own perception of murine match play (or lack thereof) at that late stage of the evening’s libations.
Day Two: Sweet Success, But With Cats Set Amongst Pigeons, Will It Be Enough?
Never mind fictional rats and mice, metaphorical cats started to scurry around metaphorical pigeons very early in Day Two – long before Group B combatants started to do battle that day.
In elite Group A, two pairs Rufus Parkes & George Dickson, plus Tony Joyce & Foreman Wickes had shown very strongly on Day One, with Ben Martin & Kate Evers also showing well. On the Friday evening, I suggested that the matches between those three pairs, plus the match in which Ben Martin’s pair would do battle with his dad’s pair, Simon Martin & Ronald Paterson, were to be “the popcorn matches” of the round robin stage.
Unfortunately, as I settled down with my metaphorical popcorn at the flat to watch the stream on Saturday morning…it was more like cornflakes than popcorn in truth…Foreman Wickes sustained a horrible-looking forearm injury during warm up. Foreman bravely laboured through the bout and Paul Cattermull kindly stepped in to take his place in the subsequent matches, but that incident really opened up Group A.
Group D was relatively cat and pigeon free, with two pairs, Adrian Fox & Anton Eisdell, plus Sebastian Maurin & Brian Woodbridge, showing strongly on Day One and continuing to shine on Day Two. There were plenty of close matches though, not least a third pairing, Douglas Brewster and David Shannon, who stayed close to the top two throughout the tournament and pulled off more draws than…[insert your own, potentially politically incorrect, metaphor here].
It was the first Group B match of Day Two that sent my group into a “cats among pigeons” maelstrom, when Davidson & Wickman defeated Lay and Wise in an exciting and well fought round robin match, opening up the group to all manner of possibilities, not least that those two teams might now be the ones to progress.
Similarly, in Group C, two pairs – Piers Vacher & Peter Brunner plus Ben Havey & Sam Walker had shown strongly on Day One, with fancied pair Matt Glyn & Andrew Hinds narrowly defeated by the latter of those pairs late on Friday. But the first Group C game on Saturday, between reigning champions Brunner & Vacher v Glyn & Hinds, was another thriller which ended in defeat for reigning pair.
Is it possible that the near miss on the Committee Dining Room balcony affected Messrs Vacher and Smith the next day? Neither of them recorded a win with their respective partners on the Saturday.
In truth, Nigel Smith might look to his partner, Jonathan Ellis-Miller and wonder what might have been against me and Giles Stogdon that afternoon, had Jonathan tried a less forceful style. Giles and I had agreed that, if we lost the toss, Giles would take Nigel’s serve (which often requires twisting to the backhand side) and I would take Jonathan’s, not least because Jonathan was bound to try and hit my serve to kingdom come. After the event, word is, Jonathan had promised Nigel that he intended to do just that. What could possibly go wrong?
It was actually a very close match, but the percentages were, I’d suggest, in our favour, given the predictable attacking approach. Ellis-Miller hit three grilles in the above short match. I managed one grille but also achieved a chase off when chasing better than half-a-yard. I think it is only the second time I have ever landed on better than half-a-yard to win or neutralise a chase. The other occasion, which won the chase, got me a bottle of champagne in my first ever Lowenthal Trophy appearance in 2019. #justsayin.
Returning to Lord’s in February 2025, Giles Stogdon and I knew that our match against Giles Pemberton & George Richards, towards the end of Day Two, would be a “more or less must win” rubber.
It was a nail-biter of a match which we did, narrowly, win:
Thus, we went home at the end of Day Two with three wins and a draw, but still we knew that we would probably need one or two points off Lay and Wise the next day to qualify.
Day Three: Dénouements Aplenty
I must have been in a state of great excitement first thing that morning. I wanted to watch the stream for a while, not least the first match of the day. Had Pemberton & Richards overcome Davidson & Wickman, it would have resulted in my pair being guaranteed a semi-final place. But it wasn’t to be. We would need a draw or a win.
Janie left for her Samaritans shift while that first match was in progress, suggesting that she might get more sense out of her callers than she was getting out of me that morning. Fair point.
I continued pottering at home and watching the stream, even catching the excellent “father against son” popcorn match…more like a fistful of kikones in my case to be honest… that was S Martin & Paterson v Evers and B Martin…
…which was a very good match. There were strange clattering noises off, coming from the side gallery, as the players left the court (see the end of the above film). Both Simon & Ben Martin deny that it was argy-bargy between them. They have clearly paid off the witnesses, as Andrew Hinds claims, unconvincingly, that the noise arose when he sent a few water bottles flying while trying to do that “pass people in the side gallery” thing. Hard to imagine, that.
As I had done on both the other days, I went to Lord’s via BodyWorksWest, my health club, to do some stretching and warm up ahead of battle. By so doing, I was spared the sight of the second “father against son” match of the morning, S Glyn & Boys-Stones v M Glyn & Hinds, which very unfortunately resulted in the latter pair needing to withdraw, despite having qualified for the semis, when Matt incurred a nasty injury on court. Hopefully Matt’s young body will heal fast. Alex Gibson & Rob Stain qualified in their place and did well to reach the C/D final.
Our last round robin match was, to all intents and purposes, a quarter-final for an A/B semi-final place, from which a draw would have been good enough for us, whereas it was a must win game for Lay and Wise.
It was a really good game. We stayed close, getting to 3-3 and at one stage were a couple of points away from pulling off a win, but it was not to be for me and Giles Stogdon. Still, an honourable third in Group B and getting to within two points of topping our group and a semi-final place, is a pretty decent result.
After a break for some lunch, shower and change, we were ready to watch for the rest of the afternoon. We caught both of the A/B semi-finals, the C/D final and the A/B final.
Did you say you want to see those matches? OK then. All are good, but I would say that the first of the four films below – Lay & Wise v Parkes & Dickson, is the most watchable of the tournament, followed closely by the Evers & Martin v Davidson & Wickman semi-final:
Neither of the finals were quite so tight, but the spirit in the dedans gallery was terrific, with lots of people sticking around to watch, cheer and clap.
So that’s it, for now, for me. No more matches and tournaments until I am all better with my hip – hopefully just a few months.
It was a wonderful weekend – such good fun tennis, plus social time with the wonderful friends I have made through this extraordinary game.
No doubt I shall dream of all that while I sit on one or other of my elevated on-loan-thrones over the next few weeks.
And perhaps, before all the anaesthetics and sedatives have fully worn off, I might envisage teams of rats and mice playing rodent-realers against each other.
Johnny Saunders claps my lunge winner as my hip twinges in appreciation
One of my favourite comedy sketches of all time is a Peter Cook & Dudley Moore sketch named “One Leg Too Few”. It wouldn’t pass some people’s 2025 political correctness tests, but it still passes mine. The conceit of it is a one-legged Dudley Moore auditioning for the role of Tarzan, with casting director Peter Cook dispensing a mixture of common sense discouragement and surreal encouragement to the job applicant, in a style that only Peter Cook could deliver. I recommend that you watch it on the link below.
MCC v Old Harrovians, 22 January 2025
I was reminded of this sketch when I got an unexpected call from Harsha Boralessa, who organises the traditional MCC v Old Harrovians match, less than 10 days before the 2025 fixture. I had sent Harsha a note back in August or September 2024 volunteering to represent the MCC in this fixture but had assumed that “no news means not selected” and had more or less forgotten about it.
By the time Harsha called to see if I could play, I was in the process of scheduling my right hip replacement, having ascertained that there is nothing left in my right hip that might be described as cartilage, which might explain why I am now hobbling around the court, rather than leaping around the place like a gazelle.
Your left hip is fine, Mr Harris. I’ve nothing against the cartilage in your left hip. The problem is, (by way of right hip cartilage), neither have you…
I explained my impediment to Harsha, while making it clear that, as an addict, I would like to play because I ALWAYS like the idea of playing tennis rather than not playing tennis.
Seemingly oblivious to the impediment aspect, Harsha simply said:
…but can you be there for a prompt four o’clock start?
Hence, in the absence of a two-legged applicant for the role, I got the gig.
Old Harrovians have historically been well subscribed with fine players of the hard ball games – cricket, rackets, fives and tennis.
William Hart Dyke – rackets, cricket, tennis (real and lawn)…
Modern times seems to be no exception, with the vast majority of the players in this match being both Old Harrovians and MCC members. Only two or three of us who represented the MCC were from other schools.
I had always imagined that this fixture was designed for players “above my pay grade” – i.e. with much better handicaps than mine. For sure, several of the players and some of the rubbers were far more high falutin’ affairs than I could ever manage, fit or not. Indeed, Ed Turner, who partnered me for the MCC, despite being way above my pay grade, went on to play a second rubber for the Old Harrovians against the MCC. The fellow couldn’t lose…or couldn’t fail to lose, depending on how you look on it.
But that, it seems to me, is the central premise of this fixture. A really interesting and friendly bunch of people enjoying a convivial match with the bonus of a traditional MCC curry supper to round off the evening. The fact that the quality of tennis spanned athletes with handicaps in the 20s to hobbling wrecks like me with handicaps in the 50s or 60s didn’t seem to matter a jot.
Would Edward Chandos Leigh, another Old Harrovian and MCC Chairman from that bygone era, have approved of such convivial amateur sportsmanship?
You can bet your infeasibly slick hair and shiny top hat that he would have done.
MCC v Dedanists, 25 January 2025
Carl Snitcher, that match guvnor, at this very fixture five years ago
The Dedanists’ Society, like the Old Harrovians, is a peripatetic team. And much like the Old Harrovians fixture I have just described, when MCC play The Dedanists, most of the participants are eligible to play for both sides.
I first played this fixture before I was a Dedanist, in 2018. On that occasion I partnered Carl Snitcher for the MCC:
The second time I played this fixture, in 2020, I was by then a Dedanist but was expecting to represent the MCC again. Tipped off by a friendly professional, I put both shirts into my bag just in case, which was just as well, as I found myself being a late switch onto the Dedanists’ team. My first game partnering Martin Village and my last representative match before the pandemic.
No amount of “but Carl, I’m a hobbling wreck” talk was going to put Carl off from selecting me to play for The Dedanists in this match in 2025. In truth, I fancied a competitive hit ahead of the club weekend and also quite wanted Janie to see my hobble at this stage of my hip degeneration so she might help gauge my post operative progress.
I requested a late in the day match, so Janie and I might get other necessities (including an hour of “lawn”) done before Lord’s. The traffic between W3 and NW8 was ridiculous that afternoon; I allowed an extra half hour over the normal journey time of 30 minutes and we used 29-and-a-half of my 30 minute leeway.
No matter – the stress of the journey allowed me to hang up my hang-ups before the game and play pretty well by my own ordinary standards. It helped that I was partnering Johnny Saunders, who is a great competitor who nevertheless plays with a smile on his face, or “for fun” as I put it at one point in our match.
We were a set and 3-2 down as one stage, but managed to turn things around in the end, mostly by dint of Johnny getting better and better. My hobble was possibly more distracting to my opponents than it was to me. Looking at this video of the last 20 minutes of the game, I must admit that I look quite incapable of getting to the ball a lot of the time and yet somehow get just enough onto the ball, awkwardly to keep the point going.
While I’m rehabbing, if I ever have doubts about why I am replacing that hip, I should look at this video to assure myself that I couldn’t possibly go on like that for the rest of my life.
I think Janie enjoyed her afternoon at Lord’s – the Dedanists and the MCC folk who play/watch this fixture are a very friendly crowd.
Our day was rounded off by a most enjoyable evening at the Hampstead Theatre, which included a mystery post match / pre show interview.
l to r standing: Peter, Graeme, Giles, Graham, Me, Jonathan, Piers, Chris, Nick, Paul T, Paul B-B, Kelsey, Susan, Noel, Ellen, Steve, Tony. l-r kneeling: Keith, Chris, Sarah. With thanks to Kelsey Dolan for this & other photos from the day
Long in the planning, a delegation of tennis enthusiasts from Newport, Rhode Island ventured across the pond to play real tennis (or, as they call it over there, court tennis) at the several courts in and near London. This day was their Lord’s day.
I was delighted and honoured to be selected for the MCC team, this being only my second opportunity to represent the club at international club level. My first international was actually my first ever match for the MCC, report linked here and below:
Newport Casino is a fascinating-sounding place, steeped in tennis history; home to the International Tennis Hall of Fame and the original location of the tournament now known as the US Open (lawn) as well as a court tennis facility and much else. Sounds like my sort of casino – I like those that aren’t gambling houses.
Perhaps it was the club’s deep links with history, perhaps it was my remembering seeing Rodin’s The Burghers of Calais in several places on my first visit to the USA in the 1980s…
…but I’m not entirely sure why I imagined the visiting delegation in the style of the Burghers of Calais. Anyway, in an attempt to envisage our visitors a bit better before the day, I asked the DeepAI Image Generator for help:
Rodin’s The Burghers Of Calais depicted with tennis rackets in their hands, DeepAI
The picture made me laugh, although it seems that two of Rodin’s six burghers don’t play tennis and that all of them have grown “Eustache beards” since Rodin’s day. Anyway, I can safely state that our friendly and charming guests from Newport did not look like those Calais burghers. Some wags might suggest that the AI depiction suits the burghers of the Marylebone Cricket Club more than those of Newport Casino.
Giles Pemberton, looking suitably burgher-like, receiving a tribute from Tony at the end of match ceremony.Graeme Marks presenting a ceremonial MCC ball to the visitorsHave Nick Davidson’s psychoactives just kicked in or what?
It was simply a pleasurable day. Most of the visitors were keen to see around Lord’s when they weren’t playing and several of us were similarly keen to show the visitors around.
The tennis matches, seven rubbers, were all extremely closely contested.
Steven Bishop & Graeme Marks v Keith Mayer & Paul Tromby
Jonathan Ellis-Miller & Ollie Wise v Steve Devoe & Chris Werner
Piers Vacher & Peter Brunner v Noel Shiland & Ellen Defoe
Ian Harris & Paul Buchanan-Barrow v Sarah Stanley & Kelsey Dolan
Barry Nathan & Nick Davidson v Noel Shiland & Kelsey Dolan
Iain Harvey & Piers Vacher v Chris Werner & Steve Devoe
Giles Pemberton & Graham Findlay v Keith Mayer & Paul Tromby
I don’t think I can remember an event where quite so many sets of tennis went to to deciders at 5-5.
“So what were the precise scores in each of the sets of each of the rubbers and all that”, I hear you readers cry. Well, you know what Colson Whitehead (almost) said:
What happens in Newport Casino stays in Newport Casino…
It really was one of those days when everybody won. I sensed that the visitors very much enjoyed our hospitality and the MCC team similarly thoroughly enjoyed the company of the interesting, friendly delegation from Newport.
Beyond the many interesting conversations about tennis and our respective clubs, I took great pleasure in showing several of the visitors around the ground. Kelsey, who is a softball enthusiast as well as a tennis enthusiast, took a shine to the indoor school and would really like a go at batting. Let’s arrange that for next time!
My most recent go at the indoor school, November 2022, picture by Janie
Almost all of us retreated to The Ivy on St John’s Wood High Street for some dinner. Several of the visitors were, understandably, struggling to reconcile the pronunciation and spelling of the word Marylebone. I consoled them by explaining that we’re probably all getting it wrong when we pronounce St John’s Wood, as it was most likely pronounced “sinjin’s wood” back in the day.
To cap it all, amongst the assortment of fascinating conversations we were all having over dinner, Ellen and I discovered that we have a shared interest in early music, including madrigals. She was not aware that our young professional Alex is not the earliest generation of the Hume family to sing professionally and was intrigued to learn that several of us have played with his dad, Alistair, who was a founding member of The King’s Singers. I recommended the album Madrigal History Tour to her, and/but have found a YouTube of the TV show from whence that album sprung:
There’s Alistair, second from the left
It was that sort of day and that sort of evening. Warm-hearted, interesting people finding things in common and enjoying each other’s company. We left The Ivy in a glow of high spirits…that was possibly the gemütlichkeit, but possibly it was the wine and cocktails.
Rodin’s The Burghers Of Calais depicted drinking cocktails and socialising warmly, Deep AI
