Oh dear, what a vague letter. Fortunately for me, Michael Eriera really liked my stuff – indeed I worried sometimes that he overused my material – so I’m sure my vagueness didn’t spoil my chances that run.
Michael Eriera 29 January 1995
(Finchley N12 address redacted)
Dear Michael
SONGS
I know I sent you some stuff and I know I promised you some more. I can’t remember what I sent or what I promised, so here is a big pack of lots of stuff. Do chase me for more if there’s anything else you liked that you can think of.
Hope all is well and I’ll speak to you soon no doubt.
Cheers.
Yours sincerely
Ian Harris
It’s all vaguely coming back to me. Michael Eriera liked my material a lot and wanted to use some of the less political material in a show he put together at the Jermyn Street Theatre.
I remember Janie and I going to see that show and liking it a lot – Michael was a good director.
I don’t think the project went all that far, sadly, but it was successful enough for some dosh to come my way; probably not much, hence my “spend spend spend” quip.
Michael Eriera 17 October 1994
(Finchley address redacted)
Dear Michael
SONGS
As promised, here are some songs; some old, some new, all borrowed (music, that is) and none blue.
As it seems we are all to be fabulously wealthy on the back of your great find in Jermyn Street, I’m now off to spend, spend, spend.
Seriously, if you need some recordings or anything else do let me know. Remember that there are plenty more where these come from; I have omitted most of the political ones.
My parents only came to see NewsRevue once and it seems to have escaped my diary as an “event”.
In those days, I was regularly going on a Thursday evening as long as I didn’t have anything else on, so it could easily have been scheduled quite casually and I do not recall anything as event-like as having dinner with the folks before the show or anything like that.
…but I think to my folks, especially my mum, it was just some sophomoric thing I was doing as a vague hobby.
I remember dad liking the show.
I remember mum not liking it.
I remember the director, Michael Eriera, ever the professional, making a fuss over my parents for a while when they visited, which helped to make them feel special and was a nice touch.
The reason I think it was probably this particular Thursday (or the one after) is linked to my Michael Eriera-linked memory of that evening. I wasn’t around for all that many Thursdays of Michael’s runs.
I remember mum saying, I paraphrase only slightly:
I’d have thought you’d got all this sort of thing out of your system when you were at university, dear.
As for the Social Chapter opt out clause from the Maastricht treaty, it was something to do with labour laws and became obsolete even before the Brexity business…but in truth I’m none the wiser now…
5 May 1993
Dear Michael
I have taken a look at the Zany Tony song and have concluded that you only need to change a couple of lines at the end for the song to work perfectly well in the event of a Liberal win.
Who needs alliance,
To gain triumphs?
The Liberals won it fair and square,
And the Labour chappie came nowhere,
We’re Beckett, Smith, Claire Short and zany Tony Blaire.
The Liberals seem to be doing so well that I suggest you swop in these lines for Thursday (and swop back to the original if the polls are wrong and the Tory limps home).
Consider also changing the spoken bit in the Maastricht song to cover the Social Chapter issue which seems to be so big this week.
MAJOR:This is a special bulletin. Ma Stricht is the Tory Whip’s most considerably wanted treaty. Oh yes. If anyone can explain what the Social Chapter Opt Out clause means, please report immediately to Tory Central Office.
THATCHER:Don’t anybody move. Hand over that treaty.
Please have a think about any new areas that you would like to me to cover over the next couple of weeks and we can chat about them on Thursday. As you reckon that Keith is already warming up to take over, perhaps have a word with him about what he is looking for. I am unlikely to get much chance to write again for a couple of weeks after the coming weekend.
I have a heap of jotting pads I’ll want to trawl at some point, as part of my archive wallow, but here is a very rare example of me digitising some NewsRevue-oriented jottings in 1993.
It was the start of the cricket season, for the genuine (i.e. county) cricket lover, but much too early in the year for cricket to be in the news. So what was I doing jotting this stuff for NewsRevue?
Keith might remember exactly what that cricket bat business was…or deny all knowledge/involvement.
Anyway, point is…
…that must have turned my mind to cricket and the potential for cricket-oriented NewsRevue lyrics.
The show had been blessed by a cracker the previous season – I’m pretty sure that it was by Jonny Hurst – You’ve Got To Pick A Cricket Ball Seam to the tune of Pick A Pocket Or Two from Oliver!
Indeed seam picking and inappropriate behaviour with barmaids was all I could think of in getting some ideas onto an e-jotter that April.
My guess is that I typed these ideas up in order to print the page out and chat ideas through with the team of writers at a writers meeting.
Sadly (or perhaps mercifully) nothing came of it – I don’t think I ever wrote a cricket-related piece for NewsRevue in the end – strange really.
(Some Bally Crickers Quickies That Have No Further To Go And May Just Be Enough)
CRICKET MEDLEY (A prize of 10p is offered to the first reader who can name the album from which all three songs in the medley originate)
NO WASIM (To the tune of “No Woman No Cry”)
No Wasim, no crime, no Wasim no crime,
And/or:No Waquar, no crime, no Waquar, no crime.
I SMOKED THE SILK CUT (To the tune of “I Shot The Sheriff”)
I smoked the Silk Cut,
But I didn’t smoke the dope or weed.
And/or:I chased the barmaid,
But I didn’t chase the drag on weed.
And/or:I pulled the barmaid,
But I didn’t pull or pick the seam.
GET UP STAND UP (To the tune of “Get Up Stand Up”)
Get up stand up, England cricket team,
Get up stand up, don’t just blame the seam.
The answer to the music “quiz” is of course Live! by Bob Marley and the Wailers – I must have been listening to side two that day. If you like this kind of music – here are some vids for you to enjoy. Not the versions from the album, but vids of live performances all.
An interesting letter to Michael Eriera, with whom I got on well and who liked my material. Useful as proof that some songs, about which I was unsure whether or not they ever featured in the show, were in fact used.
16 April 1993
Dear Michael
Congratulations on a fine opening night. I enjoyed the show and get the feeling that the other writers have been re-inspired. Please pass on my compliments to the team. Now that I have sobered up, I thought that some comments (hopefully they are constructive ones) may be helpful.
SLOWER NUMBERS (NORMAN LAMONT, WILL YOU EMPLOY ME)
I think these work surprisingly well the way you do them (I worry about the slow ones). I was pleased to see the original Norman, rather than the less subtle rewrite that was in the show previously. I decided I didn’t like Employ Me after I wrote it but you’ve made me change my mind.
JOHN MAJOR NUMBERS (DON’T FUCK UP THE ECONOMY, JOLTED JOHN)
I didn’t think there was anything else to say with Don’t Fuck Up, but Keith’s business with the cricket bat and that awful hat have brought it back to life. Jolted John lacked something for me. Perhaps Keith should be prepared to sound a bit less like John Major and more like a nerd in the original tune. Try the spoken bits in between like theatrical asides. That could also make it less static for the first few verses.
BETTER FACE
Needs something else. I love the idea of Sonia doing it but it lacked the laughs. It needs some OTT theatricality to it as it is not really a subtle song (rather, it has one subtle point and smells subtle). I had the dubious privilege of seeing the video for the first time this morning and it gave me a few visual ideas. Consider making one of the chorus a soldier rather than a child – you could spoof the “bass” in the last chorus. Consider candle waving at the end (as long as you don’t burn down the pub). If all else fails then by all means drop it – it’s had a good run before. Please also remember to attribute the money to Save The Children Fund as I assigned the rights to them when I wrote it.
MAASTRICHT
Total success. Proves the point that sailing close to the wind by doing some really difficult songs pays dividends. Well done.
DESIGNER
Needs something. I don’t think people could hear all the words. It is really “a belter” – it cannot be too loud or too melodramatic. I visualise him virtually in tears by the end – he is a ruined man and he’s telling us about it. Consider knicker throwing – the Tom Jones/knickers mind set is so strong. I also thought that it was too soon after the cigarette pun sketch for more puns. If all else fails – try Grunge Clobber Wearer instead which is more topical (and is my pet song of the month).
Hope my comments are helpful. I hope it doesn’t seem too critical as basically I believe that you are on track for a really good run. Well done once again to you all – look forward to seeing you soon.
I have more than a sneaking suspicion that Janie, Kim & Micky turned up with a view to surprising me that evening. I’m pretty sure I’d have written more in the diary otherwise. I also do not recall missing out on the writers’ meeting to be with those three, although I do recall us sitting together to watch the show.
The running order from that week is missing, presumed dead, sadly.
But I do, strangely, have the running order and writers’ list from the following week:
I say “strangely” because I wasn’t at the Canal Cafe the following week (Janie and I were in Stratford), nor indeed for the next few weeks, with a mixture of work and Janie commitments. But some kind person saved the running order and writers’ sheet for me.
Why?
Because that late October to early December 1992 run was “peak Harris” in the material use department. Eight of my songs on one show. Too many, frankly.
Whose handwriting is that renaming the show after me?
When Janie, Kim & Micky came to the show, I think there were probably only three or four of mine in the show. I say “only”, I considered three or four pieces to be a good return. I’m guessing:
I especially remember Kim latching on to the Kate Adie one – she still (27 years later) teases me with the opening line of it sometimes.
The irony of the following run, which was “peak Harris” material-wise and also “peak Harris” other commitments-wise is not wasted on me. Looking through my diary, I could only have got to see that run once, in late November, hot-footing it from a works team evening in the City, probably just to see the show.
The Director was Michael Eriera who was clearly not offended by my absence, as he and his team used a lot of my material the next time he directed, in mid 1993. I was a better attendee thee next time around for Michael.
But the $64M questions are:
who was the kind person who saved the 29/30 October 1992 papers for me in my absence?
who was the mischievous person who renamed the show on the writers’ sheet?
