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Michael Mainelli was organising this prestigious event each year at that time. 2009 was the year of Charlie McCreevy.
I was an honoured guest at the dinner with Charlie afterwards, which I’m pretty sure was at the Four Seasons Canary Wharf (at the time of writing, April 2020, the Canary Wharf Riverside Plaza).
Good meal and interesting discussion over dinner.
Janie might try to deny that she attended Michael Mainelli’s last Gresham lecture in his series as Professor of Commerce, but all the evidence suggests she was there 21 May 2009. Her diary. My diary. Worst of all, CCTV evidence if you merely look at the thumbnail of the video – click here.
Back then, of course, that four year series of lectures was the bedrock of what would become a joint magnum opus between me and Michael, The Price Of Fish. So that last lecture of the series was both a milestone and a landmark personal event. I suspect we all ended up at The Cheshire Cheese for a Samuel Johnson-inspired meal afterwards.
But before that, we held a reception in the Headmaster’s Study at Barnard’s Inn Hall, during which someone without question will have told me I look like the Chandos portrait of Shakespeare, a copy of which hangs in that study. I’d been handling that quip in that place since 2005 and at the time of writing (2020) am still handling it there and in other places.
I did some work in the morning before heading down to Balham/Streatham Hill, where I treated my mum to lunch at a delicatessen named Fat. Now long gone. I rather liked it, but mum had her favourite places (by that time I think there was a Parisian-style cafe, also in Balham, which she favoured) so I don’t think we went there a second time.
Postscript: actually it looks as though Mum, me and Janie went to Fat together the following Sunday (31 May), so I have a feeling I might have posited the idea of Fat with mum on 22 May without us actually having vivited it that day.
In any case, I think I went straight on to Sandall Close, where Janie and I had a quiet evening in.
Phillipa and Tony arrived. They were staying in the Crown Plaza, on the Hanger Lane gyratory, very near to Sandall Close.
We went to Chez Gerard in the evening; no evidence as to which branch; Janie’s and my combined brains reckon Chiswick most likely.
Both our diaries say “Barby” or “BBQ” at Kim’s. That will have been the main purpose (or at least the focus) of Phillie and Tony’s visit. In truth I don’t remember this particular Sunday lunchtime gathering especially well. We wouldn’t have known it at the time but it was to be Phillie’s last such visit to Kim’s place.
The following picture was taken just a few weeks later in Sandall Close. I prefer its look in B&W because the colours, not least the red eye, were not so good:
I took Michael Mainelli to Lord’s on Day Three of this match, having taken Charley on Day One.
Hippity wrote up Day Three, having apparently jumped into my picnic bag in a fit of pique:
I Do Declare: Middlesex v Glamorgan Day 3 – click here.
Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped the piece to Ogblog – only click the link below if the link above doesn’t work:
Middlesex till we die – I Do Declare: Middlesex v Glamorgan Day 3.
This was my first Gresham Lecture and by gosh the preparation felt like hard but very interesting work.
A lot of the material from this one ended up in The Price Of Fish.
Here’s the YouTube of it so you can watch from here instead (but for the resources as well, you need to click the above link):
More observant followers of this lecture (e.g. John White) noticed that I strung some lines from songs and stuff through the slides. I made up an iTunes playlist for the lecture – back then, iTunes playlists felt like fun things to try. Here it is: 
We held a traditional Z/Yen-Gresham reception in the Headmaster’s Study after the lecture. Doubtless someone pointed out my resemblance to the Chandos Portrait of Shakespeare in that room – someone always did. As I explained on Facebook to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the Bard’s death:
After the reception, Michael Mainelli escorted an honoured few of us to Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese for one of his traditional post lecture meals. Not sure exactly who attended but I do recall Michael, Elisabeth, Kim, Micky, Charlie, Me, Janie and a few others.
Michael Mainelli was organising this prestigious event each year at that time. 2008 was the year of Bill Emmott, who at that time had only recently stepped down as editor-in-chief of The Economist. It was always a pleasure and a privilege to spend time with Bill and that evening was certainly no exception.
As I had met Bill before, Michael asked me to “look after” Bill ahead of the lecture. Interestingly, Bill asked me if anything big had happened that day, as the world economy was in the midst of a financial crisis at that time and he wanted to be sure that hew asn’t wrong-fotted by events ahead of his talk.
Here is a link to the Gresham College resources for that talk.
I was also an honoured guest at the dinner with Bill afterwards, which I’m pretty sure was at the Four Seasons Canary Wharf (at the time of writing, April 2020, the Canary Wharf Riverside Plaza). As was often the way with these evenings, some of the most interesting questions and insights came from that group discussion over dinner.
This was a very special evening.
Here is the unfinished “masterpiece”, which started to tell the tale of the Ian Harris Invitation XI v Charles Bartlett Invitation XI, Bentley CC – reported in a more Ogblog stylee here.
Sorry I didn’t have time to write a shorter one…
…or a complete one.
BENTLEY BRING AND BRAAI CRICKET MATCH – 20 JULY 2008
Big Match Build Up
Hailing a brave new world, the annual Z/Yen v The Children’s Society cricket match had been laid to rest as a fixture. Several of the original protagonists worked for neither organisation. Further, numerous transfers and inter-marriages had occurred over the years. It now seemed more fitting for the match to be renamed appropriately. Ian Harris Invitation XI v Charles Bartlett Invitation XI sounded good. Charles agreed to design a new trophy. Even Dot Bartlett thought that “The Harris/Bartlett Trophy” sounded very grand, but Charles’ ego couldn’t sanction the title that way round, so the new trophy was named The Bartlett/Harris Trophy.
As the day of the big match approached, both captains were busy making their plans of campaign, more or less as usual. Some things never change.
In order to cultivate a rich seam of talent, Ian had engaged the services of Heinrich The Gangmaster, who had in any case long-since moved on from The Children’s Society and was doing a great deal of work for Z/Yen. Ian therefore claimed rights over Heinrich and his entire South African entourage. Since Albus, top talent that he is, had married Fran from Z/Yen and led the way to a classic victory in 2007, it seemed only fitting that Heinrich’s entire gang switched allegiance.
There were fierce salvos of e-mail and a few frosty telephone and face-to-face exchanges, mostly revolving around size and shape of players. “No giants” was the gist of it, but definitions and playing conditions as usual got blurred in the debate.
Heinrich The Gangmaster was trying to be helpful when Ian spoke with him on the telephone. “We can easily put together a winning team”, said Heinrich, “Rubeus is available, for example”. “But Rubeus is a giant”, said Ian, “and I have promised Charles that we’d not field any giants”. “Rubeus is only half-giant”, said Heinrich, unhelpfully, “but what about Lucius and Draco?” “They’re evil”, said Ian, “I can only field players who we can be sure won’t try to take the opposition’s heads off”. “What’s happened to your sense of fun?”, asked Heinrich. “I lost it when you arranged for all of those giants and unhinged people to play against my team a couple of years ago,” Ian replied. “I think I get the message”, said Heinrich.
Meanwhile Charles was taking no chances. To counter the perceived threat, Charles Bartlett had cunningly ensured that he had access to the services of as many Bentley CC players as he might need, plus the festering talent pool of Tufty Stackpole, as well as the Children’s Society people, their friends and relations.
Of course, you wouldn’t guess any of that from the discussions between Charles and Ian. “Not sure I can even get eleven people,” said Charles on one occasion, “been let down left right and centre. Even that Bentley lad, Andy, is doubtful now.” “We can always see if Heinrich the Gangmaster can find us some more South African hired hands,” said Ian. “Funny you should mention that”, said Charles, “as I believe The Children’s Society has a couple of Heinrich’s mob back on their books again”. “But no giants”, said both Charles and Ian in unison.
Meanwhile Dot Bartlett took on the unenviable task of arranging the most important element of the fixture: the catering for the day. She was none too pleased when the original choice of caterers helpfully informed her that the firm had been taken over and that the new owners “wouldn’t get out of bed” for a poxy little catering contract like ours. But Dot scrambled around and found a suitable alternative, little knowing that Heinrich The Gangmaster had his own ideas.
The Day of the Match – Ian Harris Invitation XI Innings
Come the toss, Ian was a little concerned that two members of his team were still missing: Michael and Elisabeth Mainelli. Even more concerned was Ian when he lost the toss and was promptly inserted by Charles, as Ian was planning on opening the batting together with Michael. It was a cunning plan. Ian was to do his regular sandpaper bit, while Michael was to “pinch hit” using the baseball stance and technique which worked rather well against Barnardo’s 10 years ago.
But the Mainelli family arrived just in the nick of time. The Mainelli’s came as a gang of four, including daughter Xenia (only the cruel and misguided suggest that Xenia was named after the business) and their priest, Father Bill (taking no chances this time, we nearly needed the last rites read more than once last time those big Saffers played).
“There’s a zoo, there’s a zoo”, shouted Xenia excitedly as they arrived. “I can see zebra, wildebeeste, crocodiles, ostriches and snakes”.
“That’s not a zoo”, explained Michael, “it looks as though the Saffers have brought some food with them. This looks distinctly like a ‘bring and braii’ to me. If I’d known, I’d have brought some charismatic mega fauna with me as an offering.”
Meanwhile, Elisabeth was protesting that she had no suitable clothing or even footwear, as Michael had forgotten to tell her that she was playing today. A very brief panic ensued, until Heinrich reminded Ian that we could, if utterly desperate, engage the services of Antonius Bloch, his former flatmate. While Charles was remonstrating that Ian’s team was sleezing in a last-minute Saffer giant, Henirich assured everyone that Antonius’s only known sporting prowess was at chess. Indeed, we could se Antonius playing with a rather shadowy-looking figure as we spoke. Ominously, Father Bill was mumbling incantations at rapid speed while keeping a very safe distance from the chess-players.
While Elisabeth was remonstrating with Michael that she would have gladly played had she only been told that she was in the team, Ian was simultaneously rushing Michael into his pads and various protective clothing, all the while speaking in tongues about “pinch hitting”, “run rates”, “leg side”, “cow corner” and such like.
The problem was, of course, that in the intervening years Michael had seen a fair smattering of cricket and even been to see some 1st class matches, so he had seen how batting was supposed to be done. So Michael ignored all this strange instructions and simply knuckled down to emulate the technique he had observed.
Several years seemed to pass as Michael and Ian’s opening partnership got underway. The entire crowd fell into a deep and profound slumber, except for Heinrich the Braaier and his Assistant Braaier, Severus.
Suddenly there was a terrifying roar, the sound of a wild beast in agony.
“Nnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh”.
“Jou dom stuk kak, Severus”, yelled Heinrich, “I’ve told you before, man, don’t put live wildebeeste onto the braai”.
“I didn’t, man, that yell was Ian saying ‘no’ to a run”, said Severus, sheepishly.
“Sorry man. Score still nought for nought then?”, asked Heinrich.
“Something like that”, said Severus.
No amount of pleading managed to persuade Michael to try a scoring shot, despite his pinch hitting role, but eventually he was put out of his misery and Matt joined Ian at the crease. Matt didn’t find it much easier than Ian and Michael to get the ball off the square of the pudding-like wicket. Eventually Matt decided to play a straight one, played across it, and Charles Bartlett had clean bowled Matt of all people! Some say that Charles did himself some permanent damage celebrating that wicket, while others insist that the damage had been caused a long time ago through Charles’ strange habit of not wearing a box when batting.
A few of us were clearly taking it seriously that year. The diary and e-mail correspondence suggests that we had a net on 27 May at Lord’s – me Chas, Matt and Adam Hinks:
Just a note to remind you all that we are netting this evening. See you at HQ Indoor School in whites just before 18:00.
Adam – FYI – I’ve bought and am bringing my helmet after our last net together! Although, having seen Mr Flynn on Friday, I’m not sure I’ll be trying to hook the head-high stuff anyway!!
Chas typically complained about aches and pains the next day:
Great being at Lords last night, but am I the only one suffering from multitude of aches and pains from the cricket net?
And he calls me a wuss.
The planned 10 June net was cancelled by Lord’s; the diary says that we had a net with bowling machine 15 July (presumably the rescheduled gig.) I think that was just me, Chas and Matt, after which both of them claimed that they didn’t much like the bowling machine, so I don’t think we did that again. But the machine experience got me SO ready for battle. I think Moses (Hallam Moseley) was the coach that day. Either him or Jamie Thorpe, whose left-arm bowling when without the machine tended to cause me all sorts of problems.
Anyway, this 20 July match was briefly reported in the Now and Z/Yen July 2008 issue, here, with the following words:
Caught Harris, Bowled Mainelli
A large Z/Yen contingent sallied forth to Brentwood in Essex, late July, to contest the new Bartlett-Harris Cricket Trophy. A Charles Bartlett Invitation XI (curiously similar to the old Children’s Society team) took on an Ian Harris Invitation XI (not discernibly
different from the Z/Yen team of old). Z/Yen’s highlight of the day must have been Monique’s superb batting. But before that the lowlight of the day must have been the opening batting partnership between Messrs Harris and Mainelli; that managed to send any spectator who remained awake to sleep. Stick to the day job, fellas. But things were very different in the field, when those two teamed up for Ian Harris to take a sharp catch off the bowling of Michael – the first time he had ever bowled in his life. Ian also took several wickets with his moon-balls, including both Bartletts (father and son) in the same over. So perhaps Messrs Harris and Mainelli might choose to give up the day job in favour of cricket after all. As is so often the case, Ian’s team came second, but in any case The Children’s Society always wins, on this occasion to the tune of several hundred pounds raised towards that good cause. And a really good time was had by all; players and spectators alike.
I composed much but not all of a lengthy report on this match, from build up to part way through the first innings. Then I must have run out of ideas or steam. It builds on the style of the 2006 Tufty Stackpole report, which Charles Bartlett likes a lot.
Anyway, click here for the text of the unfinished masterpiece.
Perhaps I shall finish off the story one day. Perhaps not. Who knows where and when the muse will take me?
This was the first Docklands finance lecture that Michael organised for Gresham College. In theory this was the 2007 one, but it took place in early 2008.
David Blood was the guest speaker. It was a very interesting talk. The Gresham College resources, including the talk, can be found here.
I was an honoured guest at the dinner with David afterwards, which I’m pretty sure was at the Four Seasons Canary Wharf (at the time of writing, April 2020, the Canary Wharf Riverside Plaza).
Good meal and interesting discussion over dinner.
I recall this was a fairly pricey but excellent Indian meal in a trendy setting on Cheyne Walk.
At the time of writing (September 2018) the place seems to be closed, but I remember looking it up quite recently with a view to eating there again and it was open then, so perhaps a temporary closure.
It was well received review-wise from the start – this link should find topical and old ones alike.
Michael and Elisabeth arranged Babysitters for the kids on this occasion and brought the start time forward from 8:30 to 8:00 to accommodate a sitter.
I do recall we all had a very enjoyable evening and thought we might eat there again – but so far Janie and I haven’t. I cannot speak for Michael and Elisabeth.
Day Two – 26 April 2007
I have little to add to the extensive report I wrote about Day 2 on MTWD: Click here for a link to my MTWD match report for the day.
Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped that report to here.
Geoff Young is a Northamptonshire-supporting stalwart of the Tufty Stackpole team we used to play matches against as and for The Children’s Society. Several such matches will be Ogblogged in the fullness of time – here is one example, if you like a long read, which was the most recent match when Geoff and I went to Lord’s that day in April 2007:
Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society, North Crawley CC, “Match Report”, 30 July 2006
For those who don’t want to read the MTWD Day 2 match report, it basically says that Geoff and I had a very enjoyable day at Lord’s – a bit more enjoyable for me based on the cricket – with a picnic lunch of the “Ian/Ged” standard variety – i.e. splendid.
Day Three – 27 April 2007
In those days Michael Mainelli (Timothy Tiberelli) and I had a traditional visit to Lord’s at least once a season – usually early season, which we called a Stumpfmerde session. We had a long standing tradition of occasional “Stiermerde” (bullshit) sessions to talk about strategic matters for the business. The Stumpfmerde was a “with cricket” variant.
I could tell you about the strategic matters we discussed that day…but I’d probably then have to kill you and believe me it wouldn’t be worth it.
Michael’s follow up note started with:
Great Stumpfmerde. Glad to see our boys crushed ’em on Saturday.
I like the way he thinks of Middlesex as “our boys”.
To see the Cricinfo scorecard for the whole match, click here.
On the Saturday, after following Middlesex’s win on the Internet Radio, Janie and I watched the conclusion of the World Cup Final on the TV – a very cricket heavy few days for me.
