We weren’t expecting to see a show that day. Michael and Elisabeth invited us over “for the day” being a bit unspecific about the meal time, but suggesting that we might all take a swim in the pool of their newcapartment block. But, unbeknown to us, their plan was to serve an early meal and then pop out to see Fiona Shaw perform The Waste Land under Deborah Warner’s direction in Wilton’s Music Hall – within spitting distance of Michael and Elisabeth’s new place.
Good plan.
I recorded in my log that the piece was short and OK. I’ve never been over keen on The Waste Land as a piece of poetry. Fiona Shaw is of course marvellous and would probably hold one’s attention if reciting from the telephone directory.
Janie was intrigued by the T S Eliot aspect, as she had treated and continued to treat Valerie Eliot for many years.
Most interesting about the evening was seeing Wilton’s Music Hall, which had not been used for a performance for over 100 years and looked suitably distressed. I’m not sure that the health and safety brigade would today allow a performance in a place quite so distressed, but it was great to see it at that time. It has since been somewhat more revived.
Lyn Gardner warmed to the whole idea in The Guardian:
Yet, for more than two decades, I spent an inordinate amount of time on Michael Mainelli’s sailing barge, Lady Daphne. Most of that time was spent on the River Thames, sailing back and forth from London Bridge City Pier, via a Tower Bridge lifting or two…
A typical Z/Yen boat trip
…to the Dome or sometimes as far as the Thames Barrier, “edutaining” clients and prospects. Occasionally we’d use the boat as a static venue for a business workshop or a dinner.
Our business, Z/Yen, even had the old tub corporately branded at the topsail level, as evidenced here:
Back in 1996, the boat was a bit of a novelty in the Mainelli and Z/Yen world. I cannot remember exactly the date Michael bought Lady Daphne, but I do remember Michael dragging me from our office to St Katherine’s Dock, where he wanted me to act as his “legal advisor” on the purchase contract.
But I don’t know anything about maritime law and am really not qualified to review a procurement contract for a substantial asset…
…I said. But Michael demurred…
I know that. But the vendor has been messing around for weeks. I figure if I turn up with my “advisor” we can insist on closing the deal. Just look at the document for a few minutes, spot a couple of spelling mistakes or grammatical errors – there are bound to be some – then state that we can sign as long as those small changes are made in manuscript…
A few weeks later, I found myself on the high seas (OK, The Solent) with Michael & Elisabeth, along with some of their close friends, boaty friends and close boaty friends.
We weren’t there for racing purposes – we were there in one of the more “corporate sail around” slots. It probably looked a bit like the following image from 1990:
In truth I remember little about the day, other than my general feeling of unease whenever I find myself on a boat.
I vaguely recall a decent lunch in a suitable hostelry in Cowes.
I recall the skipper – at that time Adrian I’m pretty sure – asking me if I wanted to take the helm for a while; an honour which, for everyone’s sake, I chose to decline.
I never did take the helm, but just occasionally I did need to “lead” on a Z/Yen boat trip in Michael’s absence. Naturally, I deferred to the skipper on all important matters, but I did the general introductions and safety announcements, while asserting that everything I know about boats could be written on the back of a postage stamp.
Below is the image from the back of that 2p stamp, which I always had with me when aboard the boat. If anyone asked me a question after my announcements, I’d show them the stamp and refer them to someone more knowledgeable.
The notes are a little faded and tarnished now, but I can still read the notes and expand on them accordingly:
90 foot barge out of Rochester 1923;
Known as “Lucky Lady Daphne” due to a few narrow escapes;
Daphne mostly schlepped Portland Stone;
In the unlikely event that you hear seven short blasts of the horn followed by a long blast, that’s an emergency;
Life jackets are stored fore and aft – the crew will be handing them out – if you are below deck, the exits are in the places I indicate fore and aft;
Take your jacket up, don it when above and await the skipper’s instructions. The safest place is almost always to stay on the boat;
Even without a full blown emergency there are hazards – glass can be a hazard so hand your used glasses in, ropes are generally doing something so be careful not to hold onto one as it might get pulled through a pully along with your hand, stairways and decks can become slippery…
Then I’d explain where we are going, the rough timescales of the voyage and the edutainment game we were going to play.
Not bad for a land-lubber.
Actually my scariest boat moments have been overseas, e.g.
…not the 1996 “high seas” Solent adventure aboard Lady Daphne described in this post.
Postscript
Elisabeth has been in touch to remind me that she was there at that strange purchase meeting and that she can confirm the exact…and I mean EXACT…time and date of the purchase:
…signed at 16.10 hrs on 10 May 1996…
That means that Michael and Elisabeth bought Lady Daphne a week after Michael’s stag do…
But the celebrations continued for a further day, for those who chose to stay on a little longer. There were quite a few of us who did so. Unfortunately, 25 years on, my brain does not retain the full contingent for the Sunday celebrations. I might be confusing some of the people who were around for the early days with those who stayed the distance.
But I think that most of the American contingent – Michael’s family, Emma & Betsy, Tony Dillof & others – I think at least one if not two of the Amandas, Chris Webb, Chris the Bridesmaid, The Sealeys, The Nelsons, The Pooles, Rupert Stubbs & Sophie, at least one Lucas-Clements, Elisabeth’s family naturally enough…
Sunday 19 May 1996 – The Hooch Cellar & The Informal Party
We spent some time in the Reuss family village of Pfersdorf itself on the Sunday.
I especially remember the guided tour taking us to the home of an elder of the village named Connie, who had an informal distillery in his cellar.
Connie’s hooch cellar might have looked a bit like this
Janie showed a great deal of interest in seeing this cellar, so, in the great tradition of Franconian village hospitality, she was shown through the door that led to the cellar steps in an “after you” manner, at which point Connie closed and locked the door, to the mirth of the assembled villagers and visitors.
Janie shouted out a couple of times, but once she realised she’d been duped, went quiet.
The locals informed us that the traditional ending to this practical joke was for the duped person to seek release from the cellar again a few minutes later, once in a state of inebriation, as there is lots of hooch to be had in there and not much else to do.
All eyes and ears were on the door, until Janie tapped someone on the shoulder and asked who they were looking and listening out for in the cellar. A well known escapologist (at least, she is now), Janie had spotted a window in the cellar and worked out how to climb up to the window, out through it (not very high on the ground level side) and walk around the corner to find us.
The assembled villagers and visitors thought this was all very funny.
Janie knows how to get out of a hooch pickle
Despite going light on the hooch, we remember little about the Sunday evening party, other than the fact that we had a great time. The best parties are like that. Others might be able to fill in the considerable gaps in this account.
I had made three mix tapes for the wedding, I believe with this party in mind:
I don’t even remember the extent to which the tapes were used that night, but I think they featured.
A Fraught Journey Home, Originally Aiming To Catch The Wrong Flight, Monday 20 May 1996
Chatting with the remaining guests on the Sunday, it seemed sensible for everyone, on the Monday, to enjoy a leisurely breakfast at the Hotel Ross in Schweinfurt and amble together to the railway station to catch the train that would whisk us with Germanic efficiency to Frankfurt airport in good time for our BA flight in the afternoon.
Then, while Janie and I were grazing at our breakfast, it started to dawn upon me that we hadn’t flown out BA, we had flown out Lufthansa. It also started to dawn on me that we were probably booked on an earlier flight than the others.
I went to check our tickets. To my horror, I realised that we were flying out of Frankfurt more than an hour earlier than everyone else. We certainly wouldn’t catch our flight if we travelled by train with the rest.
Some frantic checking of train times made me realise that I had actually goofed good and proper – we should have caught a train that we had already missed. There was another train between ours and the BA mob’s train, but it would get us to the airport only 20 minutes or so ahead of our flight.
I phoned the airport to warn them that we would be a late arrival for our flight.
The German gentleman I spoke with at the airport explained politely but firmly that we needed to get to the airport sooner than that.
I explained that we had missed our train and that the train we were catching would, in all probability, get us to the airport just 20 minutes before the flight. I asked the gentleman to inform the desk for our flight that we would be arriving late.
No. You must get to the airport earlier than that.
The conversation was over.
Janie and I agreed that we should catch the first available train anyway and hope for the best.
We had to change train, a couple of times I think, on this hair-raising trip.
Everything ran incredibly smoothly and the train arrived at Frankfurt Airport’s railway station exactly 20 minutes before our flight.
We legged it towards our check in desk.
Perhaps my “friend” from the telephone call had informed the desk that some mad Brits were going to attempt a ludicrously late check in. Perhaps Lufthansa check-in desks, in those days, simply switched into hyper-efficient “we’ll try to get you through the system” machines. This is all pre-9-11 of course, so the security was not quite such a big thing.
We heard the announcements for passengers to proceed to the gate for our flight around the time that we started checking in.
Anyway, the Lufthansa folk whisked us through the airport system and we arrived at the gate, dry-mouthed and out of breath just in time to hear a “bing-bong” and an announcement in German.
My poor German was just about good enough to make out that the announcement was a delay to the flight. Then in English, that fact was confirmed.
There’s lucky, said Janie.
Not at all, I said, we made it for the flight on time. Now I’m really irritated that we’re delayed.
In truth, the 40 minutes to calm down and decompress before the flight probably did us some good.
Dancing feet, preparing for a fraught run through Frankfurt Airport
Ever since that near miss, I tend to double check our flight tickets/times a little obsessively. It was a peculiar ending to an unusual, celebratory week.
I made three mixtapes for Michael & Elisabeth Mainelli’s wedding, which were used at the informal party on the Sunday after the formal wedding. I kept track listings (dated 12 May 1996) and can therefore recreate the experience, 25 years later, mostly in embedded YouTube form. Occasionally such embeds get moved, removed or delisted, but you should be able to hear most if not all of them.
Here’s Tape Three, which I called “The Cynical Wedding Tape”. Side A continued the theme of a dance party mix from Tape Two, but all the tracks have an element of cynicism towards romance. Side B was intended to be an “after the main party” cynical selection, which I named “Sit Around & Think About It”.
A couple of the tracks on this tape have not yet found their way to YouTube in a suitable form (e.g. Ben Murphy’s recording of my own lyric, The Ultimate Love Song). I have uploaded MP3s of those tracks, so you can still hear them…if you dare.
Cynical Wedding Tape Side A: Dance Que Pasa / Me No Pop I, Kid Creole & the Coconuts Don’t Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston Money, Flying Lizards I Heard It Through The Grapevine, Gladys Knight & the Pips Just Don’t Want To Be Lonely, Main Ingredient Why Do Fools Fall In Love?, Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers Thin Line Between Love and Hate, Persuaders I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor Mistra Know It All, Stevie Wonder She’s Gone, Hall & Oats One Day I’ll Fly Away, Randy Crawford Will You Love Me Tomorrow?, Shirelles
Cynical Wedding Tape Side B: Sit Around & Think About It The First Cut is the Deepest, PP Arnold Falling In Love Again, Temperance Seven Don’t Get Married, Roy Bailey & Leon Rosselson Ever Fallen In Love With Someone…, Buzzcocks Freebird, Lynard Skynard It’s All Over Now Baby Blue, Manfred Mann’s Earth Band I Used To Love Her But It’s All Over Now, Rolling Stones Born To Shop, Guns ‘n’ Charoses Single In Spring, Roy Bailey & Leon Rosselson Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Neil Sedaka The Ultimate Love Song, Ben Murphy
I made three mixtapes for Michael & Elisabeth Mainelli’s wedding, which were used at the informal party on the Sunday after the formal wedding. I kept track listings (dated 12 May 1996) and can therefore recreate the experience, 25 years later, in embedded YouTube form. Occasionally such embeds get moved, removed or delisted, but you should be able to hear most if not all of them.
Here’s Tape Two, which comprised my idea at that time for a dance party mix with a bit of a 1990s feel to it but mostly rooted in the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s, which is the era of dance music for which I sensed that most of the guests, like ourselves, could not resist dancing if they heard the right sound.
Frankly, looking at the mix today, 25 years on, I would still happily put this mix on if I wanted to get people dancing. Might need a few leaning props around the dance floor and some stretcher-bearers on standby for people of my generation.
Michael & Elisabeth Wedding Tape 2 Side A: Dance Fast We Are Family, Sister Sledge Twist & Shout, Chaka Demus & Pliers Harvest For The World, Isley Brothers I Feel For You, Chaka Khan Sex Machine, James Brown Love Machine, Miracles Incredible, M-Beat Featuring General Levy I Want You Back, Jackson 5 This Old Heart Of Mine, Isley Brothers Backstabbers, O-Jays Pump Up The Jam, Technotronic Featuring Felly Harlem Shuffle, Bob & Earl Land of 1000 Dances, Wilson Pickett
Michael & Elisabeth Wedding Tape 2 Side B: Dance Varied La Bamba, Los Lobos Stayin’ Alive, N-Trance featuring Ricardo da Force Sexual Healing, Marvin Gaye Now That We’ve Found Love, Third World Proud Mary, Checkmates Ltd Ride On Time, Black Box You Never Can Tell, Chuck Berry I Knew the Bride…, Dave Edmunds Easy, Commodores I Say a Little Prayer, Aretha Franklin Do You Love Me?, Contours 54-56, Toots & the Maytals Shake, Otis Redding If You Don’t Know Me By Now, Harold Melvyn & The Bluenotes
I made three mixtapes for Michael & Elisabeth Mainelli’s wedding, which were used at the informal party on the Sunday after the formal wedding. I kept track listings (dated 12 May 1996) and can therefore recreate the experience 25 years later in embedded YouTube form. Occasionally such embeds get moved, removed or delisted, but you should be able to hear most if not all of them.
Here’s Tape One, which comprised a fair amount from Michael’s own collection of recordings, mixed in with some of mine that I thought would go well with Michael’s own choices.
The other two tapes were more my own ideas.
Michael & Elisabeth Wedding Tape 1 Side A: Soft Rock Moondance, Van Morrison Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes, Paul Simon Eternal Flame, Bangles We Built this City, Starship Lets Stay Together, Tina Turner Modern Love, David Bowie Downtown, Petula Clark Cherish, Kool & the Gang Keep On Loving You, REO Speedwagon Come Monday, Jimmy Buffett Don’t Fear the Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult
Michael & Elisabeth Wedding Tape 1 Side B: Harder Rock American Girl, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers The Kids Are Alright, Who More Than a Feeling, Boston Just What I Needed, Cars Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen Travelling Band, Creedence Clearwater Revival New Speedway Boogie, Grateful Dead Rosana, Toto Because The Night, Patti Smith Group Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler Stairway To Heaven, Led Zeppelin 99 Red Balloons (irritatingly short excerpt) Nena (singing in English)
I didn’t keep a journal or diary for the week-long wedding celebrations for Michael and Elisabeth Mainelli…but that doesn’t matter because I went one better – I wrote a song lyric – which Janie and I performed at the wedding breakfast party – setting out the multi-day event in ballad form. The rest is detail, although I shall, below the lyrics, set out that detail such as it survives in my memory and pictures.
Was the wedding really held at a place named Schloss Mainelliberg?
THE DAY WE WENT TO PFERSDORF (A Bavarian drinking song to the tune of “The Day We Went To Bangor”)
VERSE 1
Didn’t we have a lovely time The day we got to Schweinfurt? Straddles the Main, With its beer and its wine, In Franken, that’s North Bavaria; We used our nous, Went to the Brauhaus, Where some friends of ours did meet us; We ate and drank, With some visiting Yanks, So the beer went down.
VERSE 2
Didn’t we have a lovely time The day we went to Kreuzberg? A beautiful vista, Except for the mist and The stuff that we call smog back home; Up on the hill, The monks can distil(l), And they brew a beer like bitter; Liz drank a few, And young Michael did too, So the beer went down.
VERSE 3
Didn’t we have a lovely time The day we did the Beer Fest? We were relaxin’, And eating schweinshaxen, And drinking the cold weissbeer you know; Can’t understand Why some bloke in the band, Got a pipe and played the toilet; New folks showed up And some old folks throwed up, So the beer went down.
VERSE 4
Didn’t we have a lovely time The day we went to Wurzburg? A beautiful town, Which we nearly burnt down, But not that the guide went on about it; Great elegance, At the Residenz, With its roof by Tiepolo; The guide how he droned, We sloped off to get stoned, So the wine went down.
VERSE 5
Didn’t we have a lovely time The day we did the wine tour? A beautiful day, Strolled through vines on the way, And lunch in one of the towns below; There on the Main, We tasted some wine, For some local do tomorrow; Tried about six, Got confused by the mix, So the wine went down.
VERSE 6
Didn’t we have a lovely time The day we came to Mainberg? A beautiful schloss, But we’re all at a loss, Cos we don’t know why we’ve all been brought here; Then someone said, “Those two have got wed, And we’ve gathered here to party”; It’s their wedding day, So sing hip hip hooray, As the booze goes down.
Arrival In Schweinfurt, 14 May 1996
Janie and I were among the first of the wedding guests to arrive at the Hotel Ross in Schweinfurt. Many of the guests were going to stay at this hotel.
I recall the rather suspicious greeting we received – I’m not sure that parties of English and American visitors were the hotel’s favourite parties at that time – but Janie in particular managed to ingratiate herself with the management and staff quite quickly. By the end of the week, the hospitality was warm and friendly; certainly towards us, anyway.
Michael, Elisabeth and the Reuss family had arranged several days of activities for those who wanted to join them in the pre-nuptial celebrations as well as the wedding itself.
As the days went on, more and more people arrived and joined in those activities.
On that first night, though, I think we were “on our own”, by which I mean that the few of us who had arrived on the Tuesday were left to our own devices.
In truth I don’t remember who comprised that early arriving group. I think Keith Holland was around for most of the week, as were Andrew & Samantha Poole, Rupert Stubbs & Sophie. The “visiting Yanks” I refer to Verse 1 comprised several members of the extended Mainelli family, I think, plus some of Michael’s old friends – perhaps Emma & Betsy were early arrivals. I’m fairly sure the Schlossmans, the Ridges and the Lucas-Clements contingent were early arrivals too.
Anyway, I recall that we quickly settled on going to the Market Brauhaus, probably on the advice of the hotel management, where we ate and drank pretty well in the time-honoured provincial German fashion. Janie and I probably indulged our tatse for Schweinshaxn and this might well have been a beer evening rather than a wine one.
Pre-Nuptial Events 15 to 17 May 1996
We were coached around like tourists for the next few days, with eating and drinking being the main focus of the touring.
Verse 2 of the song pretty much sums up the day we visited the Kreutzburg Monastery. We couldn’t see much up in the mountains on that misty day, but we did enjoy the monastic beverages with a tasty lunch and got to know each other a fair bit better.
I think it was on the monastery tour that the lunch included some superb local white asparagus – quite exceptional it was. But the asparagus might have been on the wine tour. Or both the beer tour and the wine tour. Anyway, I remember that white asparagus fondly.
I have a feeling the beer fest (described in Verse 3) was the same day as the Kloster Kreutzburg tour, as I recall Janie and I wondering at the end of that first full day of celebrations whether we were going to be able to keep up with the other guests. **Spoiler Alert** – we WERE just about able to keep up with the other guests.
There must have been a visiting group of Mexicans, comprising a Mariachi band, touring the beer fests at that time – there’s no other possible explanation – dig the shorts.
On the Thursday, the coach trip took us into Würzburg, a trip described in Verse 4 of the lyric. It was an especially interesting tour, the Würzburger Residenz being a quite spectacular piece of architecture with a fascinating history dating back to the early 18th century. We actually had a tour guide for Würzburg, who seemed to take great pains to remind us regularly that the allies did severe damage to the Würzburger Residenz and even more severe damage to the town towards the end of the second world war. While describing this treatment of Würzburg as inexplicable, she also took pains to explain to us the strategic importance of the place as a junction in the centre of Germany to enable commodities and supplies to traverse the country.
On the Friday, we were taken on a rather glorious wine tour described in Verse 5 of the song, where we got to sample Franconian wines of several grape varieties.
Woe betide you if you suggest that the Franconian wine bottle resembles the Mateus Rose bottle. The Franconians are very clear that they went for the above shape first. Got it?
I think this depicts the wine tour…but it might have been the monastery beer tour
If the song lyric is to be believed, we were actually sort-of sampling/selecting the wines for the wedding breakfast. In truth it seems highly unlikely that the actual wines for the actual wedding were not already ensconced in the Schloss ready for the hoards who were due to descend on the place (ascend to the place?) the next day.
The Wedding Day, Schloss Mainberg, 18 May 1996
As Verse 6 of the song suggests, by the Saturday we had no idea where we were or why we were there.
So I have engaged the services of Dr Kevin Parker who, along with wife Kate, took the sensible precaution of turning up just for the wedding, so they might have been in some sort of decent order for the ceremony.
Below is Kevin’s take on the event.
...we flew out to Germany on the Friday evening, and left fairly early on the Sunday morning (I think we went by car from Schweinfurt up to Frankfurt Airport).
So my striking memories are in order:
Walking around Schweinfurt market on Saturday am.
Being so impressed with the erudite and multi-lingual minister at the service.
Watching the log cutting ceremony on the steps outside the church (and observing which half of the newly married couple was doing most of the work of sawing).
Going up to the Castle and having ‘kaffee und kuchen’ provided by local ladies to keep us going while being shown around. This then meant we could have a proper meal at a proper dinner time, and has been an innovation I have recommended to participants in all future weddings I’ve been involved with!
I also seem to remember talking to Prof Mike Smith’s new fiancee/wife [Marianna] to see whether my small vocabulary of Slovenian words had any counterpart in Slovakian, but I’m not sure whether pronunciation was good enough for her to tell!
Kevin does not describe the party in Schloss Mainberg, but that’s Ok, as I have plenty of pictures. All of the pictures in this Ogblog were supplied to me by The Mainellis soon after the wedding – the exact provenance of each is probably lost in the mists of time.
Janie enjoying the company of Kim Ridge to her left and Adrian Burn to her right. Don’t ask how someone got to take a photo of me from that angleThat’s better – a statuesque, dignified look if ever there was oneI’m still moving my feet like the statue, while Janie actually movesAn audience with the groom himself.Janie and I singing the very song shown at the top of this piece
While the Parkers (and several other guests) left the scene on the Sunday, Janie and I stuck around for a while longer – not least some informal partying on the Sunday. What little I remember of that (and the music playlists from the tapes I made for Michael & Elisabeth to help make that party swing) will be covered in the subsequent Ogblog pieces.
I wrote this parody poem for Michael Mainelli’s stag night, which was held on Rupert Stubbs’s barge in Chiswick.
A rare example of a piece I wrote and performed myself; given the cosy audience and their state at the time of the recitation, unsurprisingly it went down rather well.
HARRENDOUS
One of the most godawful lays made about the city MCMXCVI
(A poem not entirely dissimilar to Horatius by Lord Macaulay)
VERSE 1
Liz Lizbetchen, she of Chiswick
By the sauerkraut she swore
That the great house of Franken
Should suffer wrong no more.
By the sauerkraut she swore it,
And named a wedding day,
And bade her messengers set sail,
Letters, faxes, calls and e-mail,
To summon her array.
VERSE 2
Letters, faxes calls and e-mail
She let them know real fast,
In hamlet, town and cottage
And little places you’d drive past.
Shame on the false Etreusscan
Who lingers at the stalls,
When Lizbetchen of Chiswick
Has Michael by the balls.
VERSE 3
Now from the dock St Katherine’s
Could young Mainelli spy
The line of blazing bridesmaids
Across the midnight sky.
The buddies of Mainelli,
They sat all night and day,
For every hour some faxes came
With tidings of dismay.
VERSE 4
To London and to Franken
Have spread the Reusscan bands
Nor house, nor fence, nor dovecote
Unrenovated stands.
Bayswater down to Bishopsgate
Hath wasted in a dash;
Our Liz has stormed through Selfridges
And spent shitloads of cash.
VERSE 5
They held a council standing
Before the River Thames;
Short time was there, ye well may guess,
To stop him buying gems.
Out spake the Verschoyle roundly:
“That Liz must great go down;
Mainelli’s sense is truly lost,
We might as well rave on down.”
VERSE 6
Then out spake brave Harrendous,
The one from Michael’s firm:
“To every man upon this earth
Wedlock cometh like a germ.
And how can a man wed better
Than pissed as a bloody fart
Cos he’ll still be window shopping
For a fresh bit of jam tart.
VERSE 7
So start the rave Sir Rupie,
With all the speed ye may;
I with two more to help me,
Will get on down, way hay.
The legal limit of a thousand
May well be drunk by three.
Now who will stand on either hand
And get well pissed with me?
VERSE 8
Then out spake Lucas Clementus;
A boating man proud was he:
“Yo, I will stand at thy right hand,
And get well pissed with thee.”
Then out spoke Ricardus Sealyus,
Of filming man fame was he:
“I will abide on thy left side,
And get well pissed with thee.”
VERSE 9
Then out spake Marcus Schlossmanus,
A photographer proud and tall:
“Don’t mind if I do have a quick jar or two,
Until I’m senseless and I fall.”
Then out spake Julius Mountainous,
A friend from firms gone by:
“I’ll knock them back, build up a stack,
I can drink this damned barge dry.”
VERSE 10
Then out spake Rupius Stubbsius,
A Saatchi man by trade:
“Just hold it a tick with your big swinging dicks,
This is my party I’m afraid.
For stags at stag nights quarrel
Spared either girl or dame,
No maids, no duff, no bits of fluff,
Not even one that’s on the game.
VERSE 11
Imbibers oh imbibers!
It’s Michael we must drown,
A bachelor but a few days left,
So just shut up and party on down.”
So he spake and speaking sheathed
(tho “why sheathed” in this company? doesn’t it make you think??)
And with his wineglass in his hand
Plunged headlong in the drink.
VERSE 12
Years later, you’ll not remember
Much about that night gone by;
But you’ll recall the week of migraine
And that month of sustained red eye.
With weeping and with laughter
You’ll tell the stories right,
How well Mainelli held his drink,
On Michael’s wild stag night.
This time, I went up to Keele by car, meeting Mike Smith & David Foreman for dinner. I stayed at the Post House, just the one night, then on to Manchester on business on the Friday, staying again at the then reasonably rated Britannia Hotel, subsequently not so well rated.
Janie joined me by train as she was doing a weekend foot physical therapy course at one of the Universities.
I don’t think I saw Ashley in Manchester on that occasion – I’m not sure he was yet there or if he was I wasn’t aware of it. On some of Janie’s subsequent visits I was able to spend some time with him.
I think I just read and worked a bit while Janie did her course.
On Sunday I drove us back to London.
Very early Monday I went to Waterloo to take the Eurostar to Brussels with Michael Mainelli & Kevin Parker. I think Janie might even have driven me to the station.
Two days in Brussels and I had my brick (mobile phone) swiped on the Eurostar home.
Ossobuco – picture by Stu Spivack via Wikipedia Commons
It was that sort of era, really, the 1990s. Dinner parties and small gatherings.
Listing The Events
24 June – “Tessa’s party” – Tessa played bridge with me, Andrea and Maz. She lived in Acton;
1 July – “Duchess Japanese meal” – that would have been at Momos on Queen’s Parade. Janie and I often ate there in those days, quite often making it a Friday evening treat after work. It was a superb, authentic Japanese place, run by Mr Asari. We still miss it. We decided to treat the Duchess to the place for her birthday that year;
15 July – “Kim & Micky [for] dinner” – at theirs I think. Janie and I went to the Canal Cafe to see NewsRevue the next day.
29 July – “John & Jolli” – that will have been John Thompson and his partner Jolita. I think they came to Sandall Close for a meal.
5 August – “Bernie, Heather & Dave” – these are people we met in China in 1993. We owed Heather & Dave hospitality as we had been to a party up their way (Bedfordshire/Northamptonshire). Bernie was a laugh.
26 August – “Dinner with Anthea”
27 August – “North China restaurant” with Andrea and others?
The menu is absent from Janie’s diary for the above events, but absent for:
An Ossobuco Evening With Daniel, Julie, Michael, Elisabeth, Kim & Micky, 3 September 1995
Daniel had migrated to Australia and paired up with (perhaps already married) Julie. This was their first visit to the UK together. Janie cooked a wonderful Ossobuco meal for all of us that evening.
Waste Land Guardian Gardner 16 Dec 1997, Tue The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com
Wilton’s Waste Land Standard Stringer de Jongh 15 Dec 1997, Mon Evening Standard (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com
Waste Land Telegraph Spencer 16 Dec 1997, Tue The Daily Telegraph (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com
Waste Land Indy Benedict 13 Dec 1997, Sat The Independent (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com
