The Week That Ireland Came To Lord’s, 23 to 26 July 2019

The very first ball of the very first test match between England and Ireland

23 July 2019 – the day before the inaugural test match between England and Ireland. I had arranged to play real tennis at Lord’s that afternoon, but got the call to see if I could play “senior gentleman’s doubles” at noon. This was not especially convenient for me, given my chosen 16:00 slot for singles, but I acquiesced to play “if they were desperate”. I got the call at about half-ten.

As it turned out, the main senior gentleman had got his dates mixed up and wasn’t there, so I ended up playing a not-quite-so-senior gentleman’s singles. I played rather well, perhaps spurred on by the presence of two of the Ireland test cricketers; Kevin O’Brien and Andrew Balbirnie, who took a great deal of interest in the game and watched for a good 20 minutes or so.

Returning to Lord’s for my 16:00 session, I realised that playing two hours of singles on a very hot day was not ideal, but it went fine. Coincidentally, as I arrived at the ground Kevin O’Brien was leaving Lord’s. I leaned out of the car window:

“Don’t you want to watch some more tennis?”

“You’re back for more?”

“Yup, I must be mad”.

24 July 2019 – Day One of the test. Dominic and I had been talking about finding a day to go to Lord’s with Janie and Pamela for a county match, but as I had tickets for this match, it seemed a good idea to use this Ireland test for our gathering.

Janie took this picture of me, Dominic and Pamela

I brought smoked salmon bagels and Dominic brought a superb selection of cheeses from La Fromagerie. Dominic was one of two people who sent me messages, within a few minutes of each other on the preceding Sunday, wondering about brie cheese given the weather forecast for very hot weather. The other brie-enquirer was Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett.

It was indeed a blisteringly hot day, especially as the sun came out full pelt in the afternoon, making my excellent Mound Stand seats a little over-exposed. Fortunately, we managed to find our way to a clutch of newly-shady seats in the Warner mid-afternoon. It’s not what you know…

Janie took this picture of the cricket

By that time, England had long-since been rolled for diddly-squat and Ireland looked to be in the ascendancy.

Still, it was a most enjoyable day of cricket-watching, eating and chatting.

25 July 2019 – Day Two of the test.

Hazy – but even hotter than the previous day

The weather was set to be even hotter. I knew I’d need to get to Lord’s pretty early to secure shady seats in the Warner. So I did that.

My guests for Day Two were Charles “Charley the Gent Malloy” Bartlett and Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks. On the water front, I brought a spare refillable flask but in fact Chas brought one for each of them, along with the picnic, which Dot “Mrs Malloy” very kindly made up for us all.

We’d agreed in advance that we’d have an alcohol-free day given the extreme heat. I suspect that bar takings were much lower than the MCC had hoped for too. Despite that, the St John’s Ambulance people were kept busy that day – it really was a scorcher – a record July day apparently.

The cricket was good – England set a fairly modest but probably defensible score ending the day nine-down, which meant that there was to be cricket on Day Three. Hurrah. Mostly thanks to an unexpectedly dogged night-watchman job by Jack Leach for England.

25 July 2019 – Day Three of the test. The original plan had been for Chas and Nigel to join me on Day Three as well, but circumstances intervened and they both dropped out several weeks ahead of the match.

In the end, for reasons far too dull to explain, I ended up with three guest tickets to dispense, which ended up in the capable hands of Simon “Awesome Simo” Jacobs, Bobbie “Báirbre” Scully and Pamela (see Day One). Dominic was also going to join us once he had escaped from the Tower of London.

The weather was less than special first thing, so my early morning mission to secure good seats on Day Three comprised finding a similar level of cover as was required for the shade the day before, but also in a position that would avoid any squalls of rain. Again, success.

I took plenty of reading matter as I guessed that none of my guests would be turning up early.

Pamela, who lives nearby, texted in to say that she was going to wait until the showers passed (smart move).

Simon was slightly delayed, but not as delayed as the start of play, so he got to see the first ball…

…which was also the entirety of the remainder of the England innings.

But before that, I had already received a text from Bobbie. I have previously described Bobbie’s timekeeping, which, traditionally was based on leaving Place A for an appointment at Place B at roughly the appointed time to be at Place B. This works fine if Place A and Place B are very close to each other; less fine if they are some distance apart.

Bobbie had, in fact, confounded all my temporal expectations by being early on the previous occasion we had met…

…but for the Ireland Test Match she reverted to type. At 10:57, three whole minutes before the test match was due to start, I received this text from Bobbie:

Right, I am leaving [home] now – somewhat behind planned schedule (you will not be surprised to hear)…

Actually, with the rain delay, innings break and then another rain delay very early in the Ireland innings, Bobbie and Pamela (both of whom arrived around 12:15/12:30) only missed about eight balls and no runs. Just the one wicket.

In the meantime, Simon and I were able to have a good chinwag without mentioning our hateful politics and sickeningly awful politicians too much. We spent more time talking about Simon’s impending album launch, which Simon has kindly scheduled to take place just round the corner from my flat at the Notting Hill Arts Club – click this link or picture below:

Once Bobbie and Pamela arrived, the cricketing day moved on very quickly indeed…

…read scorecard and Cricinfo resources by clicking here…

…in fact, the cricketing side of things was done and dusted just over an hour later.

That’s not enough time to get through a whole picnic.

It wasn’t even enough time for Bobbie to get through her cricketing anecdote. It turned out that this wasn’t Bobbie’s first experience of international cricket; it was her second. The tale of her first, from 1977, is such a good anecdote it deserves its own Ogblog piece. Perhaps Bobbie will write it as a guest piece or perhaps I’ll have to ghost write it.

The stewards allowed us and the assembled masses to continue our picnics and convivialities for some time, although the arrival of the marching bagpipe band to “entertain” us seemed like an excellent way for the considerate host that is the MCC to make everyone feel that they remain welcome while driving all but the sturdiest (and/or deafest) away.

Simon decided to depart quite swiftly. Dominic joined us briefly before going off to change for his game of realers. Pamela, Bobbie and I watched Dominic play real tennis in the absence of any real Irish folk playing cricket.

After that, Bobbie and I retired to The Bridge (home to the Canal Cafe Theatre) for a more comprehensive catch up.

A most agreeable end to a convivial and sporting week.

Subsequently (a mere four months later – quite rapidly in King Cricket timescales) my King Cricket-compliant piece about the same match was published – click here or below:

In case anything ever goes awry with the KC site, I have scraped that piece to here.