Tag: real tennis

Chris Stanton: Absurdist & Realist, A Personal Tribute, 9 March 2020

With thanks to John Random for the 1992 pictures, such as the one above.

It was with great sadness, although not surprise, that I learnt, on 11 March, that Chris Stanton has died. He had been battling and eventually reconciling himself with terminal cancer for a couple of years. It was a fitting coincidence that I learnt of his demise, through the NewsRevue alum community (specifically, via Chris Rowe), as I came off the real tennis court at Lord’s.

I first met Chris at the Canal Cafe Theatre in the spring of 1992, when I started writing for NewsRevue and while Chris was performing in John Random’s Spring 1992 run of the show.

Chris Stanton was the very first professional performer to deliver my lyrics to a paying audience. A rather morbid number, entitled California Here I Go:

California Here I Go, NewsRevue Lyric, 23 April 1992

Not one of my best, but one of my first…and my goodness, a performer of Chris’s quality could make the most of whatever material he was given.

That cast: Sarah Swingler, Ian Angus Wilkie, Chris Stanton, Sonia Beck

Later that run, the cast, with Chris Stanton up front and exceptional, performed another of mine, You Can’t Hurry Trusts. A much better – indeed still relevant – lyric for a topical satirical review, though I say so myself:

You Can’t Hurry Trusts, NewsRevue Lyric, 7 May 1992

Chris Stanton’s professional career continued to thrive and take off as the 1990s went on…as did mine of course, but his was a performing career whereas my career was a more conventional one. I saw little of him for 20 or so years after our involvement with NewsRevue waned, by the end of the 1990s.

Chris was reluctant to join us at Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners, although he did perhaps turn up once or twice in the early part of the 20th century.

Coincidentally, our paths crossed again some 20 years after Chris’s involvement with NewsRevue ceased, in 2016, when I took up real tennis at Lord’s and ran into Chris in the dedans gallery.

I, beginner.

Real tennis is a wonderful game, still played virtually unchanged since medieval times, ideal for those with a sense of comedy. As I said back in 2016:

real tennis is such a weird game, the rules could easily have emanated from a John Random sketch describing a fictitious game of John’s imagining.

Unless you are very gifted at the game (which I am not and Chris was only a little more gifted than me), you have to be prepared to look absurd at times, the game is so complex and confounding. Yet addictive.

I did write up my first on court encounter with Chris, en passant in 2016.

Real tennis players are sometimes referred to as “realists” but I think there is an “absurdist” element to it for us comedy types. I especially enjoyed saying, panto-style, “it’s behind you” to Chris, if he ended up (as oft we do) confounded by the eventual landing point of that hand-made, not-quite-round ball in that crazily-shaped court. Ironically, of course, Chris was doing a fair bit of panto in recent years, before he was taken ill.

We are a geeky lot too, so “the book” for real tennis scores is a global database that records the results of every match. Here is my head-2-head of recorded games with Chris; he will have given me handicap points in each of these matches; fewer as the years went on:

Final score: Stanton 3 matches to Harris 2 matches. I could have been a contender…

I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen Chris for a while – I thought he might just have been busy with work or off games with an injury – until I ran into him at Lord’s last summer on a test match day and he explained to me (with some surprise that I didn’t know) that he had lung cancer (one of the non-smoker varieties), was undergoing treatment but was probably just staving off the inevitable. By that time, Chris seemed reconciled, I’d even say at peace, with his fate. Certainly that was the way he presented me with the facts of the matter.

My last memory of spending time with him will be an abiding one and speaks volumes about the man. Towards the end of last summer, we had a 40th anniversary party for NewsRevue at the Canal Cafe Theatre. The event included the extant show and a “smoker” – the latter being a form of party we often had in the 1990s at which performers and writers would do party pieces for one another.

Chris rose to the challenge and asked to perform two of his favourite pieces at the piano: A Loan Again (by Ian Christiansen I think) and John Random’s wonderful 0898 song, the latter being a very witty, quickfire number – I hope John doesn’t mind me upping/linking his classic lyric.

Chris said to me, earlier in the evening, that he was worried that his lungs no longer had the capacity to carry him all the way through 0898 without a breather. I said that I was sure it wouldn’t matter if he did need a breather; we were a gathering of friends.

Of course, commensurate professional that he was, Chris somehow got through the song without missing a beat or pausing for breath once. It was a masterful performance, not least in the circumstances.

NewsRevue 40th Anniversary Party, Show & Smoker, Canal Cafe Theatre, 18 August 2019

I don’t suppose my report of his tenacity comes as news to anyone who worked with Chris throughout his long and successful acting career, nor to anyone who did battle with him on the real tennis court.

In the language of real tennis, Chris was a “better than half a yard” sort of bloke; news of his demise has made me (and no doubt many others) feel “worse than the door”.

Or in the language of the stage, Chris Stanton was a stellar performer whose passing has temporarily made me feel wooden as I write.

But such super memories. Thank you, Chris Stanton.

Postscript: The Coincidence Magnifies

Within a day or so of posting this tribute, I learnt that Chris Rowe, the Newsrevue alum who notified us about Chris Stanton’s demise, is also a member of the MCC and also a real tennis enthusiast. Indeed, it was through Chris Rowe that Chris Stanton got involved with real tennis at Lord’s.

Here is a poster from the Newsrevue 1991 Edinburgh show, in which both of the gentlemen appeared:

Reporting On The Final Of The Ollis Cup, Lord’s, 17 December 2019

How did I get roped in to writing the match report for this great match? By the simple expedient of turning up to watch, that’s how.

Here is a link to the report as published on the MCC website.

I’m gutted that the powers that be declined my chosen headline:

Ollis Not Lost.

Pearls…pearls…

If by any chance the MCC website doesn’t let non-members into the tennis section, here is a scrape of the report, allowing Dedanists and other friends of tennis, Iain Harvey and/or James McDermott to read all about it.

Loadsa Real Tennis, Some Of It Me Playing At Lord’s, Then Some Really Real Tennis At Queen’s, 20 to 23 November 2019

20 November 2019 – Semi Final Of The HD Johns Cup

Dominic Flint and I qualified for the semi-final of the doubles in the Lord’s internal tournament for people of our grade.

Tony (left), Dominic (centre) & Yours Truly (right), at MURTC in spring

We’ve been practicing together a fair bit over the summer and autumn, and/but knew that we’d need to be at the top of our game for our fancied opponents; Gareth Zundel and Sebastian Wood.

We were quite excited to qualify for the semi-final. I haven’t played much competition sport since school, so this was my first semi-final since 1975. My 1975 fives semi-final did not go well; ironically on a day when England’s cricket semi also went sour

A Truly Thrice Awful Day In My School/Sporting Life, 18 June 1975

In short, I’ll have to wait a while longer before I win a semi. Dominic and I started poorly, losing the first four games. After that, we were in the hunt for the rest of the match, but it is a best of three set shootout, so when our opponents overcame our second set lead amd pipped us in the second set as well, that was that.

What do you mean, “you’d like to see the whole sorry affair pan out”? Surely not? What? Oh, Ok, then. It is just shy of an hour, so two parts:

I feel I learnt a lot from the process of getting to know each other’s games and working out a method as a pair. Dominic says he feels the same way, so I hope we get another opportunity to play a tournament together.

21 November 2019 – Club Night, Lord’s

The club has recently initiated a new idea, called club night, which is basically a turn up and play doubles evening with an element of eating and drinking for those who wish.

I love the idea and intend to be a regular attendee. But I was unable to make the first one, so wanted to make the effort to attend this second one, even though I wasn’t really up for the libations and dining side of it.

I got to play a couple of sets; early in the evening with some guys who were well above my pay grade; then latterly a really well-matched set which enabled me to reunite with James McDermott.

Me and James, at Hampton Court a few week’s earlier

In October I had briefly broken away from my partnership with Dominic to play a Dedanist’s representative match with James McDermott at Hampton Court – the first of three travelling matches in a report you may click here or below:

How I Lost My Virginity Three Times In Less Than A Week, Yet Didn’t Lose A Match, 10, 14 & 15 October 2019

James was playing very well in that successful Hampton Court match and has subsequently gone on to great things – not least qualifying for the final of the WH Ollis (singles).

It was good fun to have another go at doubles with James, although this time we came out second best in the tightest of tight sets.

I’m aiming to try and make club nights from now on; including keeping the early morning afterwards free if possible.

22 November 2019, A Couple Of British Open Doubles Quarter-Finals Matches, The Queen’s Club

I was keen to see some of the British Open at Queen’s this year. I chose the Singles semi-finals day to take Janie (that’s tomorrow) but also thought I’d take in some of the doubles (now that I am making strides in that format).

So I took the afternoon out to watch a couple of the matches and then drive on to Noddyland.

Here’s the first match I watched:

Darren Long, who has looked after me so well when I have visited Manchester, was on the wrong side of this match – a not unexpected result in the circumstances.

Between the two matches I watched, i popped into the restaurant/bar for a snack and ran into Darren there. He introduced me to Ben Taylor-Matthews (Leamington) and we had a pleasant chat before he shot off to get his train back to Manchester.

The second match, which included Ben Taylor-Matthews, was a fair bit closer and went the way of my new found friend. He was partnering Bryn Sayers, who i know from Queen’s, so I suppose I was rooting for the favourites for once. You don’t really do much partisan rooting when watching real tennis – more admiration for good rests and great shots:

23 November 2019, The British Open Singles Semi-Finals Matches, The Queen’s Club

After our traditional game of lawners in the morning, Janie and I headed off to The Queen’s Club in time to have a pleasant brunch before watching the singles semi-finals.

I wanted to show Janie how the game really ought to be played – surely she had suffered enough watching me a few times.

As it turned out, although Janie has known many Queensistas in her time and had been with me to see lawn tennis at Queen’s, she’d never actually been in the main building before.

I think that might be the tennis court, there…

Of course we bumped into people we knew, not least Tony Friend, Robin Simpson and Brian Sharp.

Brian is probably asking me if I have got my handicap below 60 yet.

I promised to show Janie around a bit during the break between the two matches, which I did reasonably successfully.

The first semi-final was between Rob Fahey (current world champion, long-time world No 1, now world No 2) and my new friend Ben Taylor-Matthews:

Rob Fahey looking supremely confident
Ben Taylor-Matthews gathering himself

I thought Ben put up some strong resistance before eventually succumbing, but when I saw him briefly afterwards he said he’d been disappointed by his performance.

The second match was a little more one-sided. I don’t think anyone was going to beat Camden Riviere this year:

Chris Chapman sporting electric blue shoes
While Camden wore red and one back shoe; some sort of statement?

Janie really enjoyed her day at Queen’s and even took an interest, the next day, encouraging me to put the streaming on the TV so we could see the semi-finals of the doubles.

The Queen’s Club is a lovely place to visit and my it looked resplendent as we left, even in the rain:

A Real Nailbiter Of A Finish, MCC v MURTC, Lord’s, 13 November 2019

It’s not very often I play in a match that is determined by the very last point or the very last ball, especially in my favourite sports, tennis & cricket. Professional matches occasionally conjure up such a nailbiter – this year seems to have been a bit of a year for it…

The Day England Won The Cricket World Cup, England v New Zealand, 14 July 2019

…and I did once, in 2005, play in a hugely exciting, tied charity cricket match that lives long in my memory:

Far And Away The Most Exciting Game Of Cricket I Have Ever Played, Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society, North Crawley, 31 July 2005

…but I digress.

On arrrival at Lord’s for the 2019 MCC v MURTC fixture, I encountered Jonathan Ellis-Miller, one of the MCC regulars for this fixture, looking uncharcteristically glum. He was bemoaning the fact that MURTC had conjured up some big South African ringers for this match. I know all about this type of team selection, having been on the right and the wrong side of such shenanigans in charity cricket matches many times. Indeed the 2005 Tufty Stackpole fixture linked above had a Saffer ringer element and the 2006 rematch even more so – rare examples of the big Saffers being on my side for a change.

Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society, North Crawley CC, “Match Report”, 30 July 2006

I’m digressing again.

In truth, Carl Snitcher and Catherine Hudson can only be described as Big Saffers by dint of their indisputably big personailities and their unfeasibly big tennis rackets. We’re not talking “85 mph bowling” or “move your car out of the boundary-side car park, possibly into the next village” type big Saffers.

Anyway, point is, Jonathan Ellis-Miller was probably suspecting that he would struggle to repeat his 2018 heroics when up against the combined forces of Carl Snitcher and Catherine Hudson, despite the nominally numerical advantages of his double, double-barrelled pairing with David Mitchell-Innes.

In 2018 it was Jonathan, combined with Jeremy Norman, who snatched victory from the very jaws of defeat in the fourth rubber – I think they were a set and 5-1 or 5-2 down, to level the fixture. That allowed me and Nick Evans to seal the unlikely deal with a 5th rubber win to take the match 3-2.

This year, Nick Evans was involved in the first rather than the last rubber of the fixture, partnering Richard Boys-Stones. These two were on court doing battle with Messrs Rivlin and Humphris when I arrived and had that gloomy conversation with Jonathan Ellis-Miller.

This time I have scraped the highlights (i.e. the endings) of the matches from the MCC CCTV feed. Here’s the last ten minutes of that first rubber:

Thus the MCC led 1-0 after the first rubber.

Jonathan Ellis-Miller’s sense of foreboding for the second rubber was not unwarranted, although the handicap system did its job in making for a very close contest, despite the large handicap.

While that contest was playing out, Peter Luck-Hille, who had kindly turned up to observe, remarked that he came along to watch to get away from all the politics. Then I thought Peter also suggested forming a Dedanists’ Party, which I think would be an excellent idea. I suggested the strap line:

The Dedanists’ Party – Where Politics Gets Real…

…which can be reduced to a micro-slogan: “Get Real”…

…but then learnt that Peter had actually suggested forming a Hedonists’ Party, not a Dedanists’ Party. Frankly, if Socialism doesn’t work because it takes up too many evenings, I cannot see how Hedonism as a political force might work; too many evenings, too many late nights, too many lazy days…get real.

Returning to the reality of the match, in my humble opinion, Carl and Catherine both played really well together that day and deserved their win in the circumstances. You’ll see Jonathan try to repeat the antics of 2018 with a late charge from the rear (as it were), only to fall agonisingly short in the end. I have started the video a few moments after some unrepeatable language – from whence it came who knows? – about 15 minutes from the conclusion of this rubber:

1-1 on the rubber count, at which point Dominic Flint and I took to the court to face Sharon Maidment and Sebastian Wood.

Sebastian, like Carl, is a member of both clubs and has previously represented the MCC in this fixture. This is very much the way in real tennis, although Janie tells me that I should describe these fellows, in no-nonsense terms, as traitors.

But then Janie’s judgment might not be ideal for this matter. I asked her where I should start the highlights cut on this rubber, to which she said:

I’m not sure I’d describe any of it as highlights…

…then, when Janie observed my crest-fallen facial expression, she said…

…what I meant was, all of that rubber is a highlight.

Now that makes sense. So here, split into two halves, is the entire 57 minute episode that was Rubber 3. Below the first reel…

…but I’d recommend the second reel for all but the completists amongst you, as it starts at 5-5 30-30 towards the end of the first set:

So, MCC led 2-1 as we went into the fourth rubber. That was a more one-sided affair as Sam Asgedom and John Harrington took full advantage of the handicap bestowed upon them by Paul Cattermull and Nick Davidson. Without detracting in any way from the performances of others, young Sam demonstrated how quickly young players can develop their skills beyond the progression of their handicaps – an impressive display. Here is the last few minutes of that rubber:

The calculating amongst the readership (if anyone remains this far down the page) will have gathered that the match was poised at 2-2 with one to play, as indeed it had been poised last year. But whereas last year’s deciding rubber proved to be a rather one-sided affair, with me and Nick Evans both conjuring our very best tennis, together, at the same time, for just enough time to get two sets done in a hurry…

…this year the 5th and deciding rubber proved to be an absolute cracker.

By this stage of the evening, the delicious soup, curry, cheese and the rather scrummy Malbec wine had all been taken away or had gone, but the stalwarts who remained to cheer on their heroes somehow managed to fortify themselves with a plentiful supply of Pinot Grigio which remained. Or, in my case, ahead of an early start the next day, water.

Steven Bishop and Rodger Davis, two vastly experienced gentlemen of the MCC, took on Stuart Kerr and David Offen, MURTC regulars who became regulars far more recently than the MCC regulars. The MCC won a tight first set 6-4. We join the match towrds the end of the second set, which, at this stage, MURTC seemed to be leading reasonably comfortably:

At the end of the second set, Mark Ryan, who marked the match with his usual expertise and impartiality, let anyone who was listening (i.e. those without sound-proofed boxes over their heads) that he thought the MCC should have finished the match off when they had the match point to do so. I think Mark wanted to go home and frankly, as he was the one who was working past 22:00 in the evening, who could blame him for expressing his disapointment.

But sport is sport and we were in for a humbinger of a deciding set, which starts at 3-3. For the non-artithmetical amongst the readership, that makes it a “best of five games” set rather than the regular “best of 11 games” set. For the ultra-observant of the video clip below, Mark, in his fury, had recorded the second set score on his gadget as 6-5 MCC rather than 6-5 MURTC. But everyone knew what the score really was.

As this was a handicap match, a set can go to 5-5 40-40 and be determioned by a single point, which is exactly what happened here. Further, that “one point” that determined the match became a chase, just to add to the excitement. It really was very exciting to watch.

Here’s the whole set:

It was a really splendid evening. Good company, good sport and an exciting ending to boot. MURTC might be disappointed to come away from such a match without a win, but, if you’ll forgive the cliche, tennis is the real winner when matches are as close, convivial and enjoyable as this one.

I seem to have become a regular component of fixtures between the MCC and Middlesex University Real Tennis Club (MURTC), several of which I have written up (click here for my MURTC tag). Strangely, I did not write up the November 2018 version of this fixture at the time, but I hope I have covered the 2018 match as best I can within this write up.

Anyway, I hope I am selected again – I always really enjoy these matches. There’s also something of the local derby about MCC v MURTC too which adds a certain frisson to the excellent company and good sporting combat…especially/even when the match goes tantalisingly down to the very last point.

The Dedanists’ Society Annual Handicap Doubles, AGM & Dinner, The Queen’s Club, 30 October 2019

I was recently invited to join The Dedanists’ Society. It is, to real tennis, pretty much what the Gresham Society is to Gresham College. A sort-of “friends of real tennis” club. Except that The Gresham Society keeps quieter about itself; it doesn’t even have a website. Whereas The Dedanists’ Society does have a website – you can click here for it.

I played my first representitive match for The Dedanists’ Society just a few weeks ago and Ogblogged about it here.

How I Lost My Virginity Three Times In Less Than A Week, Yet Didn’t Lose A Match, 10, 14 & 15 October 2019

I wondered whether I had been selected to play simply because the team needed a match reporter, rather than anything to do with my real tennis skills, as the request to report the match came hot on the heels of my selection that day.

Despite a rather embarassing spelling mistake in that inaugural piece, long since corrected, I have again been asked to report on the Dedanist’s Day, which included a Handicap Doubles Tournament, AGM and Dinner at Queen’s.

This I shall of course do and I’ll add a link – here – as soon as that piece has been published…ah, update, it’s now gone up – here is a scrape of that page with my report just underneath the Holyport one.

But I thought I should first write up my personal, some might say idiosynchratic, account of the day, here, on Ogblog.

Thanks to Carl Snitcher for the next four photographs (but not the video) following.

My doubles partner for the day, Tony Friend, arriving
Me, seated in match reporter repose, pen and paper in hand

The tournament included 32 players and played through four mini-leagues of four teams, so each team plays three short matches in the round robin phase. 25 minutes of play with a deciding point if the match was tied. Matches were played on a sliding handicap, which tends to make most matches very tight. The winner of each league qualified for the semi-finals.

The tournament therefore comprised 27 matches. Just as well Queen’s has two courts and books out both for more than six hours for the tournament.

Robin Faux & Michael Shellim, our first pair of opponents

Naturally, my match report will include the pun “Friend or Faux” when describing my first match. One wag also suggested that most of us play real tennis but Robin plays Faux tennis.

But I feel that, for the sake of the Ogblog readership, not all of whom are real tennis enthusiasts, I should cut to the chase and report simply on the single highlight of the day.

And what a chase that highlight was too.

Specifically, a chase of half a yard, which was set by Michael Shellim and can only beaten by landing better than half a yard or by hitting the ball into the dedans for an outright winner. The distances “half-a-yard” and “better-than-half-a-yard” relate to the proximity of the second bounce of the ball to the rear wall.

Most people would attempt to place the ball in the dedans gallery (quite a large target) rather than attempt to beat a chase of half-a-yard on the floor.

But I am not most people.

Also, to be honest, Robin Faux is an experienced enough server to apply heavy spin to his serve in circumstances such as this, in such a way that the dedans shot was well beyond my capabilities.

I simply did the best I could to bunt the spinning ball into the main wall corner, where Michael Shellim was waiting, most probably to allow the ball to bounce in some losing place (i.e. worse or significantly worse than half-a-yard).

My shot somehow contrived to lob with ideal weight and land its second bounce almost exactly in the nick:

Better-than-half-a-yard, wins the chase!

…came the cry from the marker, along with a small cheer from the handful of people in the dedans gallery and even from ultra-good sport Michael Shellim, who was undone by the shot.

Sadly there is no photographic or video record of this particular winning chase, but Janie has a short clip of video from a bout some moons ago, which is a similar bunty shot from a spinning serve. In that case the victim was Iain Harvey (also a Dedanist and one of this day’s semi-finalists) who, much like Michael Shellim, expressed good sporting appreciation of a successful shot – in this case setting half-a-yard.

https://youtu.be/zXU8inu1XXc

Suffice it to say that the point won with my “shot of the day” chase was not sufficient for me and Tony to overcome Michael and Robin. We lost that bout, won our next bout and then, cruelly, in our third match, we lost on the very final point having levelled the score on the penultimate point.

Great experience for me, though, getting to play with and against several people most of whom are way above my pay grade. Fun too.

Me and Tony, barely able to contain our disappointment at the end

The remainder of the day is, again, reported at more length in the official report. A mostly pictorial summary follows. The photographs below are used with the kind permission of Frederika Adam  www.frederikaadam.com

There was an AGM:

Then a dinner:

The waiter is named Attila and is actually Hungarian

Then an awards ceremony, during which I picked up the “shot of the day” Champaigne moment award:

Receiving my “shot of the day” award from Josh Farrell. Janie suggests I look a little tired and emotional in this picture.

It was a great fun day; a super way for me to meet and play with many friends of real tennis from around the country.

If you want to see all of the photos from the day, click the picture link below:

Another Dining Scene - Freddy DD19_0159

How I Lost My Virginity Three Times In Less Than A Week, Yet Didn’t Lose A Match, 10, 14 & 15 October 2019

One of the many wonderful things about real tennis is that every court is significantly different and each has an interesting history and prevailing culture.

Before this week, I had tried seven courts other than my home court at Lord’s. This week I lost my virginity on three more courts. That takes my tally up to eleven. There are fewer than 50 active courts in the world.

10th October 2019: The Hamsters v The Dedanists, Hampton Court Palace

I was honoured to be selected to debut for The Dedanists in this fixture. This selection could only possibly be to do with the progress I am making with my skills at tennis, so the request that came through shortly after my selection; “would you mind also being the match reporter for this match?” was clearly a coincidental, additional honour.

Me and Dedanist doubles partner James McDermott: with thanks to Carl Snitcher for several photographs from that day, not least those that depict me.

I arranged to give Dedanist team captain Carl Snitcher a lift to and from the match, which enabled Carl to concentrate on vital captaincy duties (such as enjoying some wine with the oppo) and gave us both a chance to have very pleasant conversations to and from the match.

Alastair Robson fizzes the ball over the net while Carl Snitcher guards Henry VIII

The match report, hacked by yours truly, needs no repeating here, as it is available on The Dedanists match report blog page – click here for a link to that site…

…or click here for a scrape of that page with the relevant report at the top of the page for posterity.

In true Harris match report style, you can learn vital details about the food and beverage, not just the tennis.

Iain Harvey larking about
Ian Harris marking a bout

I even got to mark the final rubber of the match; another first for me. I rather enjoyed that role. In fact, I enjoyed every bit of that day at Hampton Court Palace.

14 October 2019: Leamington Tennis Court Club

Janie and I had arranged a short trip to Stratford-Upon-Avon to see A Museum In Baghdad, so I put out some feelers to see if I could arrange some tennis at one or both of the clubs nearby. Real tennis folk are incredibly welcoming, so it was with great ease (on my own part) that I quickly had arrangements to try both.

On the Monday; Leamington, thanks to Alastair Robson.

Arriving at Leamington; thanks to Janie for the pictures and vids
Peter & I prepare to serve, Johnny looks on, Alastair is hazard-end bound

We had a very enjoyable game of doubles. Peter was an excellent partner to have on an alien court; full of praise when things went well for me and full of patience on the many occasions I ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. He, Alastair and Johnny clearly play for the enjoyment of the sport, the exercise and the social side of it.

All five of us enjoyed a good lunch at Gusto, about three minutes walk from the club. Between snapping and chomping, Janie did a bit of shopping in Leamington while waiting for us to finish playing. According to Janie, Monday lunchtime shopping in Leamington is currently an even more rarefied activity than real tennis.

15 October 2019: Moreton Morrell Tennis Court Club

John Franklin very kindly arranged for me to play at that other Midlands real tennis court/club; Moreton Morrell. So Janie and I diverted/stopped off there on the way home from Stratford.

Parking Up Dumbo Outside Moreton Morrell

Built in 1905, a wealthy American member of Leamington resolved his differences with that long-established club by building his own court and starting his own club on his country estate.

John welcomes me to Moreton
Moreton’s variant of the Hampton Court scoring abacus

While the Leamington surface is as bouncy as I have encountered, the Moreton Morrell surface is even less bouncy than Lord’s…

…but if you hit one of the cracks on the surface anything might happen:

John and I had a very good game. We pretty much always have a very good game; the handicapping system doing its job with precision. A one-set-all draw, as indeed was the doubles fixture in Leamington the previous day.

John, Janie and I went on to the Lighthorne Pavilion Cafe for lunch; a charming place nearby, suitably based at a local cricket club but open all year round. A very pleasant environment in which to unwind, eat and chat after a game of tennis.

So there it went; my virginity on three real tennis courts, now lost for ever; but I didn’t lose any of the matches and I do very much hope to play on all three courts again.

Real Tennis Success: Through To A Tournament Semi-Final, Lord’s, 8 October 2019

This is not the first time I have won a quarter-final of something, but it is my first time getting through to a semi-final at real tennis. On this occasion, the H.D. Johns Doubles Tournament.

My previous quarter-final victory was a wee while ago, at Alleyn’s School…

An Uneventful Day Playing Fives, 9 June 1975

…so I’m thinking I might now be on a roll.

Sadly there is no video footage of the epic fives quarter-final battle between me and John Eltham, whereas the real tennis quarter-final has been videoed for all posterity…or at least until someone decides to clear down the MCC Real Tennis YouTube archive…

…that clear down must have happened quite soon after the match. I shall scrape the videos/highlights in future if I think they are worth preserving.

It resulted 6-1, 6-4.

Can Dominic and I progress on through the semi-final (next month) to finals day in December? That would be a unique achievement. We’ll try our very best.

Three Days In Manchester For Cricket And Tennis, 16 To 18 September 2019

Let’s be honest about this. Lancashire were already guaranteed promotion and Middlesex were already guaranteed to have missed out on promotion this year before I set off on this trip.

Lesser folk might have bailed out.

Not me. Nor Dumbo, The Suzuki Jimny.

Off we went, at about 7:30 on the Monday morning, arriving at Old Trafford around 11:30 after but one pit stop.

The main car parks were full, so Dumbo had to spend the day at the back of the largest temporary stand in Europe, still there after the Ashes test but decommissioned for this county match.

I then head off to the 1864 Suite to join the other green-bookers – very few from either county that day as it happens – perhaps because this day would have been Day Five of the Oval test, had it not ended in four days.

Splendid hospitality as always, not least from Keith Hayhurst.

I thought Middlesex bowled pretty well on a moderately responsive pitch – although I didn’t witness the first hour, new ball, bowling. But then Middlesex’s day one batting. Oy!

Here is a link to the scorecard for the whole match.

One Middlesex green-booker was so ashamed at the end of day one, he removed his Middlesex tie as he left…to walk the 20-30 yards to the Old Trafford on-campus hotel.

Me? I’d arranged a salubrious AirB’n’B at Stretford/Old Trafford borders:

“You have reached your destination…”
Ah, the other side of the road; a bit better I suppose.

Tuesday was another fine weather day. Dumbo and I rode out to the Manchester Tennis and Racquets Club – see Ogblog reports passim, e.g.:

Two Nights In Manchester, 12 to 14 March 2019

A session with Darren Long – very helpful in learning to aim at the tambour with my right arm from the service end and also how to respond to such a shot off the tambour with my left arm from the hazard end. This paragraph must mean a lot of nothing to those readers who are not real tennis aficionados, I do realise.

Rackets Court at Manchester – never tried it
Real tennis court resplendent in the early morning light

After showering and changing, back to my digs to drop off Dumbo and then a 10 minute stroll to Old Trafford, to witness Middlesex score the highest ever 1st class score (anywhere by any team) after being 6-down for less than 40. Some comfort I suppose.

To add to my improving mood, I met Clive Lloyd along with Jack Simmons (the latter Janie and I had met at Southport); it’s always a big deal for me to meet one of my childhood cricketing heroes.

Then a chance to wander around the ground and chat with some of the Middlesex regulars.

After stumps, time to go home and freshen up before heading off to the Chorlton Tap to meet Alex (as planned) plus Sam (as arranged the day before) and Steve (who joined the party that very day). A very convivial gathering.

Wednesday morning, back to the tennis court, for an ill-fated match up with a big hitter named Jonathan. My injured right arm had reacted somewhat adversely to the drills the day before and I felt the overuse within 5-10 minutes. Fortunately he is a very friendly, nice chap so we had a good run-around with me playing left-handed off a high handicap and him getting the chance to practice his winners a lot. I donated my Thursday morning court to Jonathan which I thought was the least I could do to compensate him and the chap (a good friend and match for Jonathan) who had arranged an early slot, purportedly for me.

Good cricket on Wednesday, not least a decent second new ball spell late in the day that set up a good position for Middlesex overnight, subject to our boys batting decently Thursday (they didn’t).

A quite evening in with Benji the Baritone Ukulele again Wednesday (did I omit to mention Benji as Monday evening entertainment too)?

Image from Brighton a few years back

Thursday morning – with no tennis I made an early start back to London – dropping off stuff at the house and then passing through the flat on the way to the City for some work and a London Cricket Trust Trustees meeting.

Taking Positives, Mostly Nottinghamshire v Middlesex, T20 Quarter Final, Trent Bridge, 5 September 2019

Trent Bridge looked an absolute picture under lights

Regular Ogblog readers sometimes comment on the relentlessly positive light Ogblog sheds on life.

Some days make that task a little difficult. Take this day, for example. On the face of it, the focal point of the day was a trip to Nottingham and back to see my beloved Middlesex team being utterly thrashed in a quarter final cup tie. Soon after we set off for Nottingham, Janie called me to tell me she’d had her purse snatched with some cash and all of her credit cards stolen/ransacked. Meanwhile and throughout the day, England were having a pretty rotten second day in the Old Trafford Ashes test; a match England cannot lose if it is to retain hope of regaining the Ashes.

So, how do I take positives from such a day? I’ll try to draw up a list.

  • I played a good 90 minutes of real tennis doubles ahead of setting off for Nottingham. Unlike the day of Middlesex’s previous ill-fated quarter-final three years ago, I didn’t injure myself playing – in fact it was a very good game;
  • Also unlike last time, I didn’t need to drive to the match – Middlesex organised a coach trip for this fixture, which spared me a longer drive than I fancied and at least meant that I was in good company throughout the day;
  • We got to Trent Bridge some two hours ahead of the match. We strolled around that lovely ground making a close to full circuit (part outside, part inside) to our Radcliffe Road end hospitality. On the way, I met Mark Butcher and Rob Key who were kicking their heels prior to their commentary duties. King Cricket aficionados will be especially excited about the Rob Key encounter, I suspect;
  • The Trent Bridge hospitality was superb, as always. Several familiar Nottinghamshire faces and quite a substantial contingent from Middlesex. I met new Middlesex board member Edward Lord for the first time and Marilyn Smith, whom Janie and I met at Hove and whose son Ramon used to play tennis as an infant at Boston Manor, brought “little Ramon” with her, which showed that “little Ramon” ain’t so little any more. I had very enjoyable chats with all those people and plenty of others;
  • Clive Radley went back to the coach early, once the result was no longer in doubt, to finish off reading his book, which was about Auschwitz. As Clive and I agreed, that rather puts the idea of “having a bad day” into perspective;
  • Did I mention that Trent Bridge, which looks a picture at all times, looks especially so under lights? Worth saying and depicting again.

Tennis At Queen’s Followed By A Bit Of London Cricket Trust Charity Media At Lord’s, 18 July 2019

Those of us who play real tennis at Lord’s are still in exile due to the cricket world cup, despite the fact that the tournament ended on Sunday. I have spent much of my exile at The Queen’s Club (well posh exile) and had arranged another two hour session of doubles, following the five set epic a few weeks ago.

Sort of three hours of doubles for me, as Neil at Queen’s asked me at the last minute to help make up a doubles the evening before, so I was still a little sore from trying to keep up with Bomber, The Saint and The Biscuit (all well above my handicap/pay grade).

For our two hour session, Dominic and Bill (as last time), but this time we were joined by Snitch for the first hour. After Snitch left, we played a real tennis form of Canadian Doubles, with the server/receiver from the doubles pair grabbing the “honour” of doing the hard work as the single player until defeated.

I worked up quite a sweat, especially as the single towards the end. Then picked up the message from Fletch at Middlesex CCC that Kevin Hand wanted to interview me this evening about the London Cricket Trust and AB de Villiers, for BBC Radio London and BBC Essex, so we arranged that between the sweats and the showers.

Soon after I set off in Dumbo for home, I felt a touch of cramp starting in my foot and tried to wriggle my foot while braking for the lights…but instead slipped my foot onto the accelerator, requiring me to switch to emergency stop braking which made one hell of a screech.

Better than half-a-yard…or more or less the nick. Phew.

I signalled an apology to the driver in front, who seemed to be apoplectic with rage, leaping about in his seat and waving his arms. Then I realised that he was car-seat-jiving while listening to loud music. Perhaps he hadn’t even noticed my near miss.

When the lights changed, the jiver/driver in front zoomed off ahead of me, as fast as I have ever seen someone zoom out of Palliser Road. Whether he was just that sort of driver or desperate to get away from me I’ll never know.

Then some work in the sweatshop that is my little office at home on a sunny afternoon.

So I had another shower before heading to Lord’s – not for the start of the match but in good time for my “over 18 of the first innings” appointment with Fletch.

As I got out of the shower, the phone was ringing. Fletch.

Can we meet a little earlier than I said – like over 15?…

…sure, I’m just getting ready to leave…

I’m sorry, it’s because I have other media to do on the pavilion side in the interval after dropping you off…Eoin Morgan…

…should be no problem, Fletch, but I need to get off the phone so I can put on some clothes and leave. I know its radio, but I figure I’ll still need to put on some clothes to get through the street, the gates and to the media centre?…

…yes, I think that would be for the best.

In fact I was making good time and got to the Maida Vale/St John’s Wood borders, where I knew I could park easily, bang on 18:30. So I was in the ground and able to watch cricket for about half-an-hour before wending my way round to the media centre, where I enjoyed the commentator’s view of the last few overs and could hear the radio commentary of course…in the commentary box.

Below is my interview, which runs for about eight minutes if you want to hear it all.

Radio London Radio Essex Interview LCT 18 July 2019

Here is a link to the moment during my interview when Eoin Morgan waved at us in the Media Centre commentary box, tweeted by Kevin Hand.

In the commentary box was the artefact pictured below. It seems that the media centre tea-time spread was adorned by this artefact for each of the world cup matches at Lord’s, with the badges of that day’s competing nations shown on the helmets. Left over from the world cup final on Sunday:

Kevin Hand was apologetic about the shortness of the interview and the fact that he sort-of had to leave me to it while he photographed and tweeted about Eoin Morgan. But Kevin owed me no apology for that; it was great and timely publicity for the London Cricket Trust charity.

In any case, it seems Kevin might want me to do the odd additional slot with him this season. If for no other reason, I think he’s keen to disambiguate Ian Harris and Ged for any listeners who might, understandably, be bemused and/or amused.

Kevin also apologised to me when he discovered that I came in especially for the interview as I hadn’t planned to attend the match. Again no apology needed as I live so close by and in fact I am so glad I was there for the post world cup afterglow. The Middlesex v Essex match was even played on the world cup pitch.

In fact I stayed for just the first few overs of the Middlesex innings before heading home and catching the end of the match on the broadcast.

One final anecdote. When I mentioned during my interview that AB de Villiers had come out to Deptford for us just a few hours after landing from South Africa, Kevin wondered whether we might have tired him out ahead of his first appearance for Middlesex. I think the scorecard and match reports attest that Kevin needn’t have worried.