…yet still I cooked dinner that evening for six of us: me, Bobbie, Vivian Robinson, Andrew (her beau), Neil Infield and Michelle Epstein (soon to be Infield). All of those people were living in the vicinity of Woodfield Avenue at that time, so I guess it was a sort-of goodbye to friends in that neighbourhood.
No idea what I cooked – I hope for my own sake that I tried to keep it simple – I probably did. If anyone who was there can remember details of that particular evening, I’d love to hear about it from someone else’s perspective.
The Wednesday was also a pretty packed day. Here’s my page of notes for that day.
That page doesn’t even mention the two driving lessons – one at 9:00, the other at 11:00.
Nor does it mention the ordering of a washing machine (perhaps I had already done that the previous day, as Pratts (Streatham’s John Lewis store) was specifically mentioned that day. I wrote copious notes, too detailed even for me and Ogblog, listing various makes, specs and prices of washing machine. I settled on Zanussi and the thing was delivered to Clanricarde Gardens on the Saturday.
A weird quirk of that era; a purportedly fully-furnished flat did not come with a washing machine and I recall that Tony Shaw said at that time that he was happy for me to have one there but that I would have to pay for it and own it. These days, unfurnished flats are the thing but a washing machine is seen as a standard utility item in an unfurnished flat.
I have also retained my shopping list from that Wednesday, which reads like something The Flight Of The Conchords might include in one of their lyrics. Cereal, coffee and wine – what else does a bachelor flat need?:
That page of notes also includes a note of Jackie and Len’s address for that evening (redacted in green on the above picture) plus a note to remind myself to take my Newman Harris P45 with me for Binders the next morning – good thinking.
I know I also left a chirpy note for mum and dad to find when they returned from their holiday on 6th December. Words to the effect of:
Have moved out, as promised.
If you are lucky, I’ll call and let you know where I’ve gone. Hope you had a great holiday.
Lots of love
Sonny Boy.
So, then on to dinner at Jacquie and Len’s place, joined by Caroline Freeman. How can I be so sure? Here”s the diary page:
I wonder whether Caroline remembers this particular evening? I cannot remember what we had for dinner but I don’t think it would have been a herring fest. More likely poultry was involved – for sure it will have been a splendid meal whatever we ate. This much later picture does show the actual table, although not the precise contents:
One thing I do remember about that evening is that Len, on the matter of me having qualified as a Chartered Accountant and then immediately having moved away from that profession (his), seemed decidedly less perturbed than some. I remember him saying repeatedly:
The world is your lobster. Not just your oyster. Your lobster.
I was watching very little television by that time, so it was many years later that I discovered that this cute phrase was not Len’s own, but is an Arthur Daleyism. Not a very kosher metaphor, that oyster/lobster one. But “the world is your pickled herring” just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?:
So many books. so little time put aside for reading them…
OK, I didn’t have quite so many books back then, nor did I need to go through all of them for my finals. Strangely, I have kept most of the books I did read for those exams, as I have always struggled to part company with books, even dull textbook-type books.
This shelf – promoted to the least-touched, hard-to-reach top shelf now, has a lot of the material I went through for my finals.
I had three law papers to do: Civil Liberties, Criminology and Consumer Protection. I remember feeling that the Civil Liberties and Consumer Law material was still reasonably fresh in my mind and just needed a bit of cramming, whereas the Criminology, which I had been taught the year before, was far more evasive.
Because I had decided to defer Criminology until finals, I hadn’t done much on it during my P2 year, so much of the reading I was doing was “vision” more than “revision”. For Criminology, which is a fairly broad-based, sociological subject, perhaps that was just as well. I decided to focus my “vision” on books by the academics who taught the course: Pat Carlen and Mike Collinson, with just a smidge of reading around the topic. This seemed to work.
Don Thompson’s style of teaching Civil Liberties and Michael Whincup’s style of teaching Consumer Protection seemed, to me, to be more oriented towards preparng for exams, so my tutorial notes and just a bit of reading around felt more appropriate.
But let’s be honest about this – even in the 20 days or so running up to and into those exams, I was hardly devoting myself exclusively to the task. Diaries don’t lie.
1 to 6 May 1984 – Tennis The Only Distraction By The Looks Of It
Tuesday 1 May 1984 – Worked a little – played tennis [must have been Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman, as unnamed] – worked over at Bobbie’s in eve.
Wednesday 2 May 1984 – Shopped today – did some work during day – did some more at B’s in eve.
Thursday 3 May 1984 – Did a little work – played tennis with Viv [Vivian Robinson – strangely I have little recollection of playing tennis with her but it seems I did so more than once]– went to J-Soc in eve -> Bobbie’s to do some work later.
Friday 4 May 1984 – did some work – not much – did some work there [Bobbie’s] in eve.
Saturday 5 May 1984 – Did no work during the day – shopped plus played tennis with Pudding in afternoon. Went Bobbie’s in eve.
Sunday 6 May 1984 – Got up quite early. Did some work today – went over to B’s to do some more work.
Not too bad I suppose. I’m not sure how Bobbie recalls this period – if she recalls it at all. I think she had far better concentration and ability to revise/cram than I had. She might have perceived my restlessness as a distraction, but perhaps we were genuinely good for each other in terms of allocated long evenings to revise together. As a routine, it certainly helped me.
7 to 13 May 1984 – Throw In Some Union Stuff & Even Snooker On TV As Well As Tennis
Monday 7 May 1984 – Did some work – went to Constitutional Committee in eve -> Bobbie’s after – watched snooker and worked.
Tuesday 8 May 1984 – Did some work – played tennis with Pudding in afternoon – worked at Bobbie’s in eve.
Wednesday 9 May 1984 – Went shopping in afternoon – went over to B’s to work in eve.
Thursday 10 May 1984 ,- Did some work – played tennis with Viv in early eve – went over to Bobbie’s in evening.
Friday 11 May 1984 – Did some work today – worked more over at Bobbie’s in eve.
Saturday 12 May 1984 – Went shopping with Bobbie in the afternoon. Worked there in evening.
Sunday 13 May 1984 – got up early to work – worked over Bobbie’s in eve – re [her] first exam…
I don’t suppose many finalists persevered with Constitutional Committee 10 days or so before their finals. Snooker as a further distraction doesn’t really sound like me, however dull the particular chunk of revision I was doing that evening might have been.
I wasn’t much into snooker, but Alan The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman was and I suspect Bobbie must have been too. If snooker was Bobbie’s distraction, I was surely a willing participant in such distraction. Easily distracted from revision, me.
A little bit of Googling tells me that Monday 7 May was the nail-biting climax of the World Snooker Championship Final between Steve Davis and Jimmy White. Here’s a vid for those who like snooker.
14 to 20 May 1984
Monday 14 May 1984 – Did work today – Bobbie’s first exam – Ashley [Fletcher] came round – UGM eve – did a little work after.
Tuesday, 15 May 1984 – Did some work today – tennis with Pud [Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman]. Worked a little more over at Bobbie’s after.
Wednesday, 16 May 1984 – Went shopping today – worked at B’s in eve.
Thursday, 17 May 1984 – Worked quite hard on elections today – J-Soc also. Worked especially hard at B’s in eve.
Friday, 18 May 1984 – Day before exams – shopped in afternoon – worked hard in eve.
Saturday 19 May 1984 – CIVIL LIBERTIES [paper] in afternoon – did a little work in evening as well – earlyish night.
Sunday, 20 May 1984 – Worked some during day – and worked hard in evening.
A couple of references to working hard in the run up to my first paper, which does suggest that my work on those other days and evenings had not been quite as focussed.
I really did manage to cultivate the ability to focus and work ridiculously hard for several decades after this period…
…but very evidently not while I was preparing for my Keele finals.
21 to 23 May 1984 – Two Law Papers – Lows, Highs, The Psychedelic Furs & Tottenham Hotspurs
Monday, 21 May 1984 CRIMINOLOGY [paper] in morning – low in afternoon – went UC [Union Committee] – very down in eve also.
Tuesday, 22 May 1984 – Rose early. Worked hard on consumer protection – then CONSUMER PROTECTION [paper] afternoon – went Hanley for meal and Psychedelic Furs concert in the evening most pleasant.
Wednesday, 23 May 1984 – Went shopping, Pudding [tennis presumably] etc. in the afternoon – went over Bobbie’s in the evening. Did some work – watched football etc.
I think the low on the Monday after the Criminology paper was two-fold. I know I felt that I hadn’t had a good exam (it can’t have been too bad) but Bobbie came out of her last Law paper (I think European Law or International Law) convinced that she had badly screwed up. Of course she hadn’t, but I do remember that being one of the very few times I saw Bobbie in a blue funk about anything. (If only Bobbie’s distant memory were better, she could no doubt retell many examples of my blue funks).
By the next day I felt much better, not least because I sensed that I had written a decent Consumer Law paper and the added relief that the Law exams were over. Just Economics to go!
The fact that I had completely neglected Economics since completing my dissertation did not prevent me from celebrating the end of the Law finals with Bobbie in Hanley. I think it would have been the Chinese restaurant and then to Victoria Hall for an excellent Psychedelic Furs concert.
If you want to know what The Psychedelic Furs sounded like in May 1984, the BBC recorded and broadcast their concert at Hammersmith Odeon a week after the Victoria Hall concert. Here is that one hour recording:
If you prefer to see what they looked like back then, there is a slightly blurry YouTube from Madrid that year, part of the same tour, which is a very similar if not identical set to the one we would have seen:
The football we watched on Wednesday 23 May 1984 will have been the UEFA Cup Final between Tottenham Hotspur and Anderlecht. Football wasn’t really my thing, but it was Bobbie’s thing. Forever Everton in Bobbie’s case. Also, although I didn’t support Tottenham Hotspur (or indeed any football team), I had spent more time at White Hart Lane than any other ground, taken there as a kid many times by Stanley Benjamin and then later the holiday job work crowd, who also tended to favour that team/ground. You can read all about that UEFA Cup classic and look at clips of it on the Tottenham Hotspur site – click here – I’m not the only person who writes stuff up 40 years on, you know.
…I received a surprising amount of correspondence about it. One very kind piece of correspondence from Philip Lucas, responding to my bemoaning the fact that I had a copy of the old constitution my labours were replacing but not the magnum opus I helped to produce, said:
…would you like my original copies of the 1984 Constitution and Standing Orders…? I am happy to post them to you.
Another, from Malcolm Cornelius, stated that he recalled working with me on proof-reading that revised constitution document. I remembered that too, when reminded. Heck, now that the document itself has arrived, we have documentary evidence that Malcolm’s assertion was true.
No wonder Malcolm and I were exploring ways of imbibing coffee and whiskey jointly too!
Many readers are no doubt itching to read bits of the 1984 Constitution and Standing Orders, not least because it is a proto-example of gender-neutral drafting.
I am in retrospect proud of myself for taking on such a dull yet useful task. I believe firmly that Malcolm Cornelius and I should qualify for Honorary Life Membership of The Dull Men’s Club by dint of having done this. I might even write to the doyens of that club requesting same. The only nagging question about that, of course, is whether Malcolm and I should insist on the club changing its name to “The Dull Persons’ Club” or “The Dull People’s Club” before we would accept the honour.
Parenthetically, and with characteristic proof-reading pedantry, I now far prefer the word “people” to the word “persons”, the former feeling more like flowing English to me, the latter feeling more like a sub-editor’s short-cut to a gender neutral word.
Back then we could have taken our lead from Depeche Mode, of all people, who were in the Top Ten around that time with the following hymn to diversity:
Vivian Robinson, picture by Andrew Thacker “lifted” from Concourse
My diary is useless on some of the memories I retain from this period, so my pieces will, by necessity, be more impressionistic and in some places possibly even vague.
I recall that my discussions with Vivian Robinson (Union Secretary 1983/1984) at that time revolved around so-called Keele apathy and a desire to encourage more students to vote and get involved. Viv was the returning officer and I chaired election appeals, so this was, in essence, our gig.
One wheeze we came up with, I think quite early in January 1984, was to put up a sample manifesto for president, showing people what a manifesto needed to look like.
Being me, I ran with that idea to also make our sample a spoof, in which the fictitious candidate promised a ridiculous amount of infeasible stuff. The tag line at the end of the text below the sample, which explained how the election system worked, read something like:
Whatever your views on the candidates, please vote and please vote wisely.
You can see why I didn’t go into advertising.
We originally called our candidate Piers Witherspoon or something like that, but Eddie Slade, then Senior Tutor, came to us (before term started I’m sure) loving the idea but worrying that there was a real student with a name that was too close for comfort to our fictitious one.
We decided to change the name of the character to Nigel Wisely, enabling a tighter tag line:
Please vote and please vote Wisely
Unfortunately, some students didn’t realise that Nigel Wisely was a spoof and complained to Vivian when the election came around that they wanted to vote for Nigel Wisely but his name was not on the ballot.
Apropos to nothing other than some light relief in this union-heavy piece, who from that 1980s period remembers these two? And who can name them?
Two very familiar, smiley faces. From the same stack of Andrew Thacker pictures as Vivian Robinson’s above (Xmas Ball 1983).
My other labour of Hercules in early 1984 was to redraft the Students’ Union constitution. The extant document had been around since 1970, which, in 1983, seemed, like, for ever. It had more holes than a Swiss cheese and the mischief-makers were able to do smelly things with those holes.
Buried in my personal archive, I have found a copy of the 1970 thing that I consigned to the scrap heap (with the consent of a UGM which was, of course, the sovereign body of the Union). The print within it is miniscule – it must be something like 6-point – accessibility hadn’t been invented back then.
Smaller than A5 per page, the print really is tiny
There are those who might say, cruelly, that making the constitution unreadably small was an act of mercy on the students who might otherwise read it. I am not of that view and “my” revised version was in larger print. You’ll have to take my word for that, because I did not retain a copy of the thing I slaved to produce and get through a UGM. Again, some might say “that’s a mercy”.
Compared with the miniscule print of the 1970s constitution, my diary pages for January 1984 are surprisingly readable. There’s not a lot in there. What little there is, mostly comprises either me or Bobbie being a bit poorly, spending a lot of time together nevertheless and the struggles I was having to get as much done as I wanted to get done.
Yes, the UGM that adopted “my” new constitution was 30 January 1984. They probably still refer to it as Independence Day in Keele Students’ Union circles…or perhaps not.
I shall return to topics such as food and newspapers separately, in a future piece. That’s enough to be getting on with today. Anyone would think I was paid by the word…like Dickens.
Ian Harris aka H Ackgrass…or is this Charles Dickens?
John White in the SU Secretary’s Office which was, in December 1983, Viv’s office. “Wouldn’t have happened on my watch”, says John (SU Secretary 1984/85). Photo by Mark Ellicott.
Monday 19 December 1983 – Rose quite late – laundered. Got drunk in Viv’s office – then ate ->Veras [Veera Bachra’s] – pub crawl – stayed in Wolstanton
It’s a bit of a miracle that I’m still alive. I remember even less about the Wolstanton pub crawl than I do about the Barnes L54 one. If Veera was there I’m sure her friend Debbie was there and I guess some of their crowd. Ashley, Bob and Sally might have formed part of that “off campus” excursion but I don’t remember those two social circles ever overlapping…not that absence of remembering that level of detail is evidence of anything.
I’m guessing that Veera and co were living in Wolstanton at that time. My main memory of them is from Barnes but I think they moved on after 82/83.
The pub crawl would no doubt have taken in The Archer and The Plough… perhaps we ventured further than Wolstanton on that crawl.
Tuesday 20th December 1983 – Got up early – left Wolstanton went to ‘Castle – then Keele – packed and left – arrived at Marianne’s [Marianne Gilmour] early evening – stayed in.
Wednesday 21st December 1983 – Rose fairly early – did a few chores in afternoon etc – went to see Rear Window at Hampstead [Everyman] – most pleasant.
That was my first ever visit to the Everyman and I remember it most fondly. The Rear Window showing was, if I remember correctly, a recently remastered print which showed the superb cinematography of that movie in all its glory.
Clearly I was not in a mad rush to visit my folks that Christmas, as I spent three nights at the Gilmour residence in Stanmore before returning to the bosom of my own family. I think Marianne’s folks were away, which is why she and I ran around after her grandparents a bit.
I think Christmas dinner “at The Benjamin’s” was still in Woodfield Avenue that year, but perhaps they had already moved to Putney by then. I expect there were just eight of us around the table – four Benjamins, Doreen’s mother (named Jessie Jackson) and us three Harris folk. Possibly Lisa was already with Nathan by then.
The wok and rice cooker depicted are 21st century, but the booklets are 1983
My self-education in the matter of producing decent-quality Chinese food in my own (or should I say Barnes L54) kitchen took great strides forward as 1983 progressed.
I bought the Sharwoods leaflets depicted above at some point that year. I cannot remember which shop “took on” Sharwoods displays with these booklets sold cheap but the Sharwoods ingredients depicted within them sold dear. Was it Sainsbury’s in Newcastle-Under-Lyme? Or was it Kermase, the sort-of wholefood store, sort-of rice-and-spice deli? Or was it some other shop with delusions of grandeur that popped up and then disappeared, because grandeur and Newcastle-Under-Lyme don’t really go together?
Anyway, I treasured those little booklets and the techniques/ideas I gleaned from them. I still delve into them occasionally. But I soon tired of the high prices and small bottles of the Sharwoods range – for me the occasional trip to Chinatown in London to gather large bottles of the requisite sauces and packets of dried noodles at sensible student prices. Fresh won-ton wrappers too, once I’d worked out what to put inside them, as described last time…
The other staple substitute which I used in most of my recipes – certainly the stir-fry ones, was beansprouts. These were available in large packets at a very low price in Sainsbury’s. If you knew what you were doing (i.e. just blanch them or toss them into a stir fry right at the end of cooking) they were tasty, nutritious, went a long way and seemed quintessentially Chinese to us at the time, because Chinese restaurants used them.
I shall write up some of my “Keele Barnes L54” recipes in the fullness of time. This week there’s plenty else to write about.
Here’s the diary for the week:
My pattern well set, I love the radical candour of my Tuesday diary entry:
Tried to do loads today – failed.
Forty years on, despite me being older and allegedly wiser now, I can assure readers that I still often have days like that.
I have previously written up the wonderful evening of music that was the Kitchenware Package, which included Hurrah! The Daintees and to top it all Prefab Sprout. I wrote that concert up several years ago, for reasons explained in the following piece, so some readers following “Forty Years On” might have missed the write up – linked here and below:
One element of the Thursday diary entry is baffling me:
Thursday 1 December 1983: Busy day – union stuff etc. Cooked a meal for Viv [Robinson] – went to {Scarves?…Barnes??} with Kate – to Bobbie’s after.
The meal might well have been one of those Chinese meals at that time. It is also quite possible that my flatmate, Alan Gorman, would have participated in that meal. Alan, Bobbie Scully and (to a lesser extent) Viv were guinea-pigs for my Chinese cooking. More on that anon.
But where did we go with Kate and which Kate was this? My first thought was that the word is Barnes, but it makes no sense to go to Barnes after eating in Barnes, unless I meant to write a more specific address within Barnes and missed out a detail. Was there even a place called Scarves or similar for that word to be. Let’s zoom in on that entry:
Perhaps the hive mind of Keele alums can do better with that appalling scribble than my own addled mind is managing.
But a further mystery – which Kate is this? I don’t recall getting to know Kate Fricker as early as that in the 83/84 year, but maybe I did. She might have been friendly with Viv already by then and Viv might have been grooming her for greater things in the Union by early December. Kate might have been Catherine Emerson (now Cathy Butcher), of course whom we called Kate at that time. Cathy will remember I’m sure…not. I can only ask.
Friday 2 December – …Bobbie’s – saw film in Square – stayed there.
I’m trying to recall what “Square” was. I remember a place known as the Hexagon in Lindsay? Did it shed a couple sides and become “Square” in 1983? Or was Square some other place. The fact that I say “stayed there” and Bobbie was very much a Lindsay person (K Block unless I am much mistaken) makes The Square a Lindsay place. I don’t recall seeing films there but the diary says so. Again others might recall these places and events better than me.
Saturday 3 December – …shopped etc – went Asian do in early eve -> union with Bobbie – stayed there for some time.
“Asian do” was probably Chinese Cultural Society although it might have combined forces with some other cultural groups for a pan-Asian do. I recall that Bobbie had a good friend, May Lamb if I remember her name correctly, who went out with Tony Wong, who was a doyen of the Chinese Cultural Society. May’s family ran a Chinese Restaurant in, I think, Hartlepool.
I wonder what those two would have thought of my Chinese cooking? I don’t think I ever had the courage to try it out on them.
Dave Masten Rosen chimed in on Facebook, riffing with me about “Lee Ho Fooks” and Werewolves Of London. In fact I had mentioned Lee Ho Fook No 2 only a few months earlier:
…but without the associated reference to that amazing song, which is presumably about the then main Lee Ho Fook in Gerard Street.
It then occurred to me that “beef chow mein” was one of my regular dishes to cook in the Keele days, although I often substituted chicken. Of course, the recipe is in that little Sharwoods booklet. Here’s the relevant page, as a closing image. You should be able to read the recipe if you look closely enough.
…and indeed the rest of that week has little worthy of report in it.
Union Stuff
The diary suggests a fairly settled pattern of work, spending time with Bobbie and spending time in the Union, mostly around elections and such matters. The Chair of Constitutional Committee also chaired Election Appeals Committee and it seems there were elections that week.
The other thing that is clear from my diary that week is that I became good friends with Vivian Robinson around that time. She was SU Secretary (and therefore also returning officer) that year – so we were thrown together ex officio in terms of running elections.
Fortunately we got on well and I think the elections that year ran smoothly – even the one that I ran in…just about. Viv and I remained friends after Keele, not least when she lived on Bedford Hill in the late 1980s, about 10 minutes walk from my parents house. Watch this space for future tales.
Anyway, that week, it seems, Viv cooked me dinner one night and I made her lunch a couple of days later.
Anarchist Bonfire Party, 11 November 1983
I like the reference to going to an “anarchist bonfire party” after dinner with Viv on 11 November. Ashley and/or Sally Hyman might remember some details about that event, but I must admit I don’t remember much about it.
Perhaps it was part of a trend at that time to perceive Guy Fawkes as a radical hero, which, frankly, he wasn’t. Or perhaps it was more an excuse to have a bonfire party a week or so after the conventional Guy-effigy-burning occasion and avoid the unpleasant connotations of all that, by simply having a lively bonfire party, which I’m sure it was.
The Anarchist Bonfire Party won’t have looked like this
The Fall Supported By the Stockholm Monsters, 16 November 1983
This was a pretty memorable Keele gig in my book, as much for the buzz there was around The Fall at that time as the sound itself, which was only sort-of to my taste.
The Stockholm Monsters were a more than half-decent support act, well suited to support The Fall. In 1983 they sounded like this:
The Fall appeared on The Tube just over a week after our Keele gig. Their set on The Tube looked like this:
Andrea’s Party At Bushy House, 19/20 November 1983
By the end of that week I was writing in red ink, reporting on a trip to London. I love the fact that I note that I had a haircut on the Saturday morning. I’m guessing that my mum would have strongly suggested I needed a haircut, probably because of the location of the party I was going to that night.
My friend Andrea Dean was living in Bushy House, Teddington at that time. Her father had become Director of the National Physical Laboratory and a rather sprauncy apartment came with that job.
Andrea c1979
Bushy House is a former residence of King William IV, although I suspect he made use of the whole house.
I remember more than one entertaining party/gathering at Bushy House when it was Andrea’s place. This November 1983 one was especially memorable.
…And Forty Years On?
I rather like the juxtaposition of an anarchist bonfire party one weekend and a party in a formerly royal residence the next in November 1983.
Forty years on, both of those parties were good training for the week that I have just been through:
In the spring of 1983, one of the “big hit” comedy books that captivated the young (and young at heart) was The Complete Naff Guide.
Available second hand – click image if you wish
Not long after, there emerged a short publication at Keele named The Keele “Naff” Guide. It is attributed to Adrian Bore and Daphne Canard, but is actually the work of Frank Dillon, with a little help from his friends. I plan to e-publish the “tome” for the May Bank Holiday weekend 2023. Watch this space.
Point is, on the short list of Naff Union Positions gracing the back cover of the Keele “Naff” Guide, Chairperson Of Constitutional Committee does stand out as being quintessentially naff.
How Frank himself, with a little help from his friends, persuaded me to run for that position in the spring of 1983, is one of life’s mysteries that would probably best remain unsolved. But I’m going to try and solve it anyway.
I have mentioned before the shenanigans around several union elections in 1982 and 1983, largely caused by the Tory faction deliberately trying to game flaws and loopholes in the election rules in an attempt to disrupt the smooth running of the union.
In May 1983 my memory would still have been fresh with the (in my case literally sickening) shenanigans that February – click here or below:
Yes, I was on Constitutional Committee (which was also Election Appeals Committee) that year. Yes, I suppose I was seen as one of the good guys. Yes, only one person had put their name forward for the 1983/84 role – Adam Fairholme, who was a Conservative, albeit from a benign corner of that grouping.
I think it was a small posse that ganged up on me and persuaded me to run. I’m pretty sure that Frank Dillon himself was part of that posse. Also Vincent Beasley. I have a feeling that Genaro Castaldo (he who pleaded me away from my sick bed when things went awry in February) and possibly also Viv Robinson (who had been elected to succeed Genaro) leant on me.
I said I didn’t really want to do it. I said I had no time to put together a manifesto and contest the election. I said it was better that they find someone else.
Just do whatever you can. We think you’ll win the election anyway.
I sat in the Main Bar and wrote a few lines in large block capitals on a side of A4 paper. I wish I still had that scribbled-so-called-manifesto to show you. It was so sloppy and shoddy that, I recall, Viv Robinson and I subsequently used it in a guidance note to people who wanted to run for elections in 1983/84 as an example of what NOT to do.
It included my name writ large with a large cross in a box top and bottom. I recall that I pledged to
uphold the spirit and the letter of the constitution
explain constitutional matters in ways that would help and encourage students to participate in the union
seek to revise the constitution to block the loopholes that had recently been exploited to frustrate the union’s purposes.
In fairness to myself, despite the brevity of the pledges and shoddy presentation, I did see through those pledges to the best of my ability during 1983/84.
Having signed my nomination papers and deposited my scrappy piece of hand-written A4 purporting to be a manifesto, I then went back to Shelton for much of the next week, returning to the campus just for classes, a bit of private study and some infeasibly long tennis matches with Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman. I don’t think I went to the union again until election day.
I’m pretty sure that my diary entry on 6 May which reads, in part “union for a while” reflects the above.
Friday 13 May 1983 – Busyish day – classes etc. – election for const. comm. – won – went to Shelton- had 1st drink (or 2) there.
I think I won the election on a small turnout but a significant percentage. Something like 120 to 80. I recall that Adam Fairholme was bitterly disappointed not to be elected; I think he campaigned quite hard and fancied his chances against an all-but-absentee candidate. Actually Adam was a good bloke and we became friends, albeit not close friends. I’ll write more about him and his demise come the 40th anniversary of that tragedy.
“1st drink (or 2)” relates to the fact that I had been completely off the sauce since February on the back of doctors orders due to my glandular fever (infectious mononucleosis). In May, Dr Scott told me that my “six month ban” could be reduced to “three months” for good behaviour, as I really hadn’t touched a drop.
But did I have the constitution for it?
Saturday 14 May 1983 – Rose quite early – came back to Keele for a while – dress and tennis – went back to Shelton – drag at party – not too pleasant – v late night.
I only very vaguely remember this party but I’m guessing it was some sort of costume party involving drag (they were an arty crowd, Liza’s North Staffs Poly crowd – I suppose that’s what you get when you study art). I don’t think I enjoyed it much, based on my diary entry.
Sunday 15 1983 – decadent day in bed – talking etc. – v pleasant – felt v ill – temp up – both [me and Liza] came back to Keele.
Even at the age of 20, I think its clear that I preferred smaller gatherings of friends/people I knew and liked, to big parties – regardless of costumes or lack thereof.
Even clearer is the fact that I did not yet have the constitution for drinking again. I voluntarily stayed off the sauce for quite a while longer. While my body didn’t tell me that three to four hour tennis matches might be overdoing it, it did tell me that one or two drinks was still one or two too many for my post-virus constitution.
The following diary entry is the first clue that something was wrong:
Sunday 6 February 1983: Rough night – felt ill in morn. & all day – wrote essay in eve nonetheless
It didn’t get better – for the next couple of days my ill health was the only topic in my diary. I have hardly any photos from that era, let alone “lolling around feeling poorly” ones, so I commissioned Dall-E to reimagine the scene:
Monday 7 February 1983 – Pretty ill today. Stayed away from classes – early night – not well.
Tuesday 8 February 1983 – Pretty ill still – went to Health Centre – put on tablets. Came home – stayed in – early night – quite ill.
Actually I have very powerful memories of that 8 February 1983 evening. Everyone else in the flat went out or did their own thing. I stayed home and watched the movie The Harder They Come on Channel 4. I remember thinking it was a fabulous movie, despite the fact I felt so ill. Forty years on, it is available on-line so anyone can watch it. The music is awesome if you like ska and reggae.
https://youtu.be/j9U1zc8ys-Q
The other thing I especially remember about that evening is that I persevered with smoking even though my throat was incredibly sore.
Anyway, I soon had time on my hands in the Health Centre to reflect on the stupidity of this practice. Hence I know that I smoked my last cigarette of tobacco while watching that movie that evening.
Interesting also that the TV listings tell me that the movie finished just before 23:00 – after which I would have gone to bed. At that time, this met the definition of an “early night”.
Wednesday 9 February 1983 – Came into Health Centre – pretty ill today. Don’t like it here much.
Thursday 10 February 1983 – Feeling bit better today – let up in evening into lounge etc.
More reflections on the Health Centre next time – my early release was premature
Not sure if I blagged my way out or whether they desperately needed the beds or what – but I was released with suspected flu and instructed to recuperate at my flat. I had at least resolved to quit smoking for good, which, with the benefit of hindsight, was an excellent longer-term health outcome.
From Smoke-Free Resolve To A Smoke-Filled Room: An Election Appeal
Friday 11 February – Came out of Health Centre – not at all well. Being sick all day. Went election appeals in eve – came home to bed.
…anyway, this season the shenaniganistas were at it again. I think this problematic election was that of Vivian Robinson, who was active in Labour Club and therefore “within the sights” of the Conservative crew who were keen to disrupt elections by deliberately breaking the rules and then trying to have the election annulled if they didn’t like the result because rules had been broken. These Machiavellian types probably thought that their techniques would enable them to run the country this way in future decades, given half a chance…oh crikey!
Anyway, there was I lolling around in my flat, looking like a Dall-E reimagining of a sick 1980s student, trying not to throw up all the time…
…when Gennaro Castaldo, the SU Secretary at that time, arrived at my flat. Gennaro was one of the good guys – I guess he probably still is. He had heard that I’d been ill and was hugely apologetic…while also being emphatic…he pretty much pleaded with me to come to the Election Appeals Meeting. Gennaro sensed that it was going to be a bare-knuckle tussle and was keen to have all of the voting panellists there.
It was hard to say no to Gennaro in such circumstances – probably almost any circumstances, if he put his mind to being persuasive.
I remember telling Gennaro that I’d been throwing up all day and wasn’t sure I could get through a heated meeting without upchucking. My “humourist reflecting back ” self today reckons that a full-blooded chunder at some point in that meeting might have been the most apposite comment of the evening.
I have asked Dall-E to try recreating the smoke-filled room that was the SU President’s office at that election appeal.
It was more unruly-looking than this, but not bad for 21st Century AI envisaging the 1980s
Chris Boden, who I think was also a member of our panel, was the main voice of the (if not the actual) complainant. I have no recollection what the actual detail of the complaint was – only that it was pretty clear to me that the whole exercise was a stunt to disrupt the students union rather than a genuine uncovering of sharp practice by or on behalf of a candidate which should result in the election being overturned.
I recall that Gennaro had kindly/sensibly placed me near the door so I could make a break for it if I felt the need to throw up. I also remember the room being very smoky indeed, which was not good news for my still agonisingly sore throat.
I also very clearly recall that, at one point, when Chris Boden was trying to set out his complaint that “someone” had broken the election rules, Vincent Beasley jumped to his feet, pointed at Chris Boden and yelled “J’Accuse” at the top of his voice. At that point, I thought I might need to bolt out of the room to throw up, but I just about managed to contain myself.
Lovers of justice everywhere will be delighted to learn that the election appeal was dismissed and the election rightfully confirmed.
But my personal struggle with infection and the Health Centre was far from over, as you’ll learn next time.
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