One of my very early efforts at lyric writing was this lyric about the break-up of Yugoslavia. The original is dated 1 July 1991 – I’ll need to upload a scan of the printout for that exact lyric. The version that follows – version 2, was updated and extended for NewsRevue in 1992 in the very early days of my involvement there. I have a feeling that it was actually used in the show briefly in the late summer/early autumn of 1992. If not Paula Tappenden’s cast then the one after.
Or did John Random use it in one of his subsequent runs/shows?
Anyway, here’s version 2:
YUGOSLAVIA (Version 2)
(To the tune of “Istanbul not Constantinople”)
VERSE 1
Serbia is in Yugoslavia,
Now there’s Croatia and also Slovinia,
Plus there’s Bosnia and then Macedonia,
Two that I don’t know,
And Mon-te-neg-ro.
VERSE 2
Lets go back to old Yugoslavia,
No you can’t go, there is such a palava,
You may get shot up and never recover,
One day you’re in Bled,
Next day bled and dead.
TRITE MIDDLE BIT 1
Even tennis stars,
Our commentators fear;
They can’t say without a glitch,
Goran Ivanisovitch.
VERSE 3
Take a break out in Yugoslavia,
No I won’t go there, I think I would rather,
Go to Greece or maybe Czechoslovakia,
Why did poor Yugoslavia get the veto?
Cos they went all to pieces after Tito.
(Instrumental – with “do, do, do’s”, “wo, wo, wo’s” and outbursts of “Serbia”, “Croatia”, “Bosnia”, possibly accompanied by some suitably violent business)
TRITE MIDDLE BIT 2
Even tennis stars,
Have put their lives at risk,
Monica Seles groans and grunts,
Even she had death threats once.
VERSE 4
See a shrink if in Yugoslavia,
Cos the countries shrinking farther and farther,
I’d prefer to be in the Intefarda,
Why is poor Yugoslavia now the pits?
Cos the Serbs are a bunch of violent gits.
Please note that the above version was dated 5 July 1992 – also aimed to be topical for Wimbledon but more than a year before the actual murder attempt on Monica Seles’ life.
Below is a YouTube of The Four Lads singing Istanbul (not Constantinople)…
…or if you prefer the zappy They Might Be Giants version:
You can read the lyrics of Istanbul (not Constantinople) by clicking here.
