I don’t think I thought all that highly of Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess Of York. Here’s a lyric about her UN envoy role:
FERGIE’S NO UN ENVOY
(To the Tune of “She’s Always A Woman”)
VERSE 1
She can hunt with a gun,
She can ski every day;
She don’t half fuck around,
When she’s in St Tropez;
She can only write books for inane under threes;
She just wants to get rich, Fergie’s no UN envoy to me.
VERSE 2
She is haughty and proud,
She is not very brave, tho’;
She will go to Gorazde,
And to Sarajevo;
She will then sell her memoires for ginormous fees,
She’s a self centred bitch, Fergie’s no goodwill envoy to me.
MIDDLE BIT
Oh – she took care of herself,
When she threw Andrew out,
He was not ready for;
Toes – that she put in her mouth,
When she gave her new man,
Sensual pedicures.
VERSE 3
She’s been spurned by the Queen,
So she’s not bloody goin’;
She won’t join that incompetent oaf,
David Owen;
She is undiplomatic,
But then so is he;
And the worst he can do,
Is split Kosovo too,
They should sack all these envoys swiftly.
Below is a video of Billy Joel singing She’s Always A Woman To Me with the lyrics on the screen:
I submitted a version Two three weeks later, substituting “Johnny Bryan” for “her mew man” in the middle eight. Not sure whether that was on request or just an attempt to make the lyric more useful/informative.