I think a basic version of this song might have sat on my jotter for years before I typed it up and tried to do something with it, but I copyrighted it 29 February 1992.
That makes the lyric proper 25 years old this week (at the time of writing), unless you are really pedantic about dates, in which case it is six-and-a-quarter. I was reminded of it, coincidentally, during its anniversary week – click here for that story.
Anyway, I think this one first saw the light of day in the hands of Brian Jordan, who found it in the NewsRevue reject pile (probably thanks to John Random) and took it to Edinburgh in 1992 in his show, “Whoops, Vicar, Is That Your Dick?” So I can for ever boast that my material made its Edinburgh debut in a show by that glorious name.
Subsequently (and/or perhaps simultaneously), the song did NewsRevue runs and was also picked up by west country comedy-singer Ben Murphy for recording – click here or below to hear.
Definitely one of my bigger hits. I can even thrash it out on my baritone uke, key change ‘n’all.
THE ULTIMATE LOVE SONG
(To the tune of “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You”)
Every little thing she does is magic, you will never walk alone, the winner takes it all;
I can’t give you anything but my love, together we are beautiful, it’s not unusual.
You to me are everything, I’d like to teach the world to sing;
Only you, love me do,
You don’t have to say you love me.
Nothing’s gonna change the way I sound,
Just take another song and swop the words round;
One thing you can be sure of,
This is a sound you’ll hear some more of.
Nothing’s gonna change the way I croon,
There isn’t too much scope with only one tune;
You can wait your whole life through
But nothing’s gonna change the songs I do.
You’re the first, the last my everything, with you I am born again, more than I can say;
You won’t find another fool like me dear, I can’t give you anything, one day I’ll fly away.
When will I see you again? you know that you have got a friend;
She’s not there, I’ll be there,
I don’t want to talk about it.
Nothing’s gonna change the songs I sing,
Just churn another out and hear the tills ring;
How come I’ve made my fortune,
When I have only written one tune.
Nothing’s gonna change the way I chant,
I sorta tried it once but found that I can’t;
This style’s the one for me,
The only thing I change is key (rising to higher key, slightly beyond ability of crooner)
Nothing’s gonna change my serenade,
Despite the fact it sounds as if I’ve been spayed;
I’ve made a pile this way,
So I’m afraid this song is here to stay.