Bloody Arrows, NewsRevue Lyric, Probably Unused, 26 February 1995

Not especially topical then (or now) but I rather like this lyric, not least for its excellent fit with the tune it likes to use. I even made myself laugh out loud briefly when testing the first chorus.

BLOODY ARROWS
(To the Tune of “Little Arrows”)
VERSE 1

There’s a board, a little board,
With some wire and numbers too,
These darts must appeal to someone,
But the question is: to who?
And you see there’s no escape,
Cos on your late night TV sports,
You’ll see big fat gits play arrows,
With their pints as big as quarts.

MIDDLE EIGHT

Here they come pouring out of the loo,
With their trousers all size 52;
They’re on the oche again!
On the oche again!

CHORUS 1

You get arrows on Granada,
You get arrows Channel 4;
On Sky Sports you get arrows till you can’t watch any more;
You get arrows on the BBC repeated time again,
Video them arrows accidentally every now and then.

Wha-a-at a pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHORUS 2

Bloody arrows on the telly,
Bloody arrows, here’s the rub;
You’ll still get bloody arrows if you go off down the pub;
And they rope you into playing even if your blind and lame,
Cos them pricks you get with arrows are a bloody awful pain.

Here’s the Leapy Lee version, with lyrics set out underneath the vid if you click through:

 

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