Claire, NewsRevue Lyric, 29 November 1995

This one is about Claire Short, who presumably got mixed up in one of those cannabis stories.

I took the opportunity to take the piss out of politicians and our loony laws on such matters.

Not sure if it was ever used. A few good lines, though (in the lyric, not a reference to some other drugs, get a grip, reader).

Gosh, even by November 1995, I still couldn’t spell Blair.

CLAIRE
(To the Tune of “Clair”)

VERSE 1

Claire,
You said you’d support Tony Blaire,
But blew it by toking hot air,
It’s happened before,
He wonders why you’re so
Short,
It seems that you’ll pay for a snort,
Of Lebanese Red, not Tawny Port,
You’ve taken a hit,
For talking ’bout shit, cos then,
You were pounced on by Tony’s men,
Tho you’re less outspoken than Tony Benn;
Pushing for dope is a sure way that you’ll fail,
So take your lead from Bill Clinton then you’ll never inhale,
That air, Claire.

VERSE 2

Claire,
You’ve sent Tony deep into prayer,
By talking of marijuan-air
That’s not a good rhyme,
And not a good crime so why
Do most MP’s feel obliged to lie?
I’d bet that most of them have had a try,
Privately thinking it’s OK to take grass,
But in the public domain they have to talk from their arse….
-holes, Claire, Claire.

(Don’t Bogart that point, Claire).

You might enjoy the tune and lyric of Clair by Gilbert O’Sullivan for this one.

 

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