Month: March 2026

Alleyn Old Folks, At Home In Souk, Honouring The Rock & El Presidente, 31 March 2026

Rohan Candappa, Nick Wahla, Me, Steve Butterworth, Ollie Goodwin, Rich Davis & Lisa Pavlovsky – thank you for the photo, Mr Waiter.

A gathering of friends who went to my school, and great fun it was too. It is always enjoyable and uplifting when we meet up.

On this occasion, we gathered at Souk in honour of Rich “The Rock” Davis, who risked flying out of Toronto to London despite his own absence from air traffic control when so-doing.

But what should we call ourselves? “Alleyn Old Boys” was the standard term when we joined the school. Replaced by “Alleyn Old Boys And Girls” when the school went co-educational, while we were there. That’s a bit of a mouthful, though.

“Alleyn Alums” still has the requisite gender neutrality, but Latin is so old hat. Indeed some of us…no names, no pack drill Nick Wahla, showed little affinity for that classical language 50 years ago, and have not exactly changed their minds since then.

Coincidentally, I have recently had to grapple with this vital old-school nominative question for practical reasons. As part of my sporting activities playing real tennis…

So much room for improvement in that technique – c2016.

…and as foreshadowed in one of my Ognblog pieces a few months ago…

After Soccer At Alleyn’s: Barton Found In 2025, Plus Soccer-Free (Trying Hockey & Playing Fives) Remainder Of January 1975 For Me

…I have indeed teamed up with Professor Simon Barton (Alleyn’s 1970-1977, stop sniggering at the back of the class) to represent our old school against a pack of rather more seasoned old school pairings in The Cattermull Cup the weekend after Easter. I settled on “Alleyn Old Folk” as our team name, which seemed to amuse Simon – you need a sense of humour to deploy his medical discipline, and even more so to partner me at tennis.

But El Presidente, or Praeses Designatus as Nick Wahla would probably not put it – i.e. Lisa Pavlovsky, was unimpressed by that choice of title.

Sensible suggestions please,

she demanded. Someone needs to explain to Lisa that she is hanging with the wrong crowd if sensible suggestions are what she’s after. Inspired by Lisa’s plea for ideas, Rohan Candappa suggested:

The Canada/Greenland/Pavlovsky Plan – to invade Dulwich College and seize its resources. Finally our CCF training will come in handy! ‘Make Alleyn’s Great Again’ hats will be available for all).

But enough of this forward-looking frivolity. Such gatherings are primarily about reminiscing the past, not planning an heroic future.

There was a lot of talk that evening about train rides to and from school, plus parties which I didn’t attend…probably because I wasn’t invited…where juvenile behaviour, excessive high spirits and resulting broken glass seemed to feature a great deal. I have commissioned DeepAI to produce a couple of illustrative pictures, which I have entitled “Lightbulb Moment” and “Sliding Doors Moment” for reasons of my own.

Thanks, DeepAI. You’re a pal.

Everyone played their part, but the hero of the evening was undoubtedly Rich “The Rock” Davis, who had flown in on the redeye from Toronto that very day, carelessly losing five hours in the process, yet still he was up for a Moroccan meal with his old school pals. True grit.

However, the evening ended on a very unfortunate note for me personally. I hadn’t noticed, on arrival, that one of our number had come to Souk on a bicycle. As I was slightly tired and a little emotional, perhaps not articulating my every syllable in my trademark, crystal clear, received pronunciation manner, I mumbled:

Whose is the bike?

…which Rohan, failing to catch my copula, aurally, as it were, mistook for the phrase, “Who’s the bike?”

That’s outragous – you’re cancelled, Harris,

said Rohan, who then followed up the evening with a new nickname for me – Ian “Cancelled” Harris, plus a new one for Ollie – “Glass-breaker” Goodwin.

So there you have it – we all have nicknames now. It’s only taken 50 years to complete the set.

Candy, Gob, Cancelled, Peanut, Glass-breaker, The Rock & El Presidente.

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, La Ballerina Restaurant, 12 March 2026

John, Colin, Jonny, Graham, Barry – still crazy after all these years

We are starting to wonder whether the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner puts the kiss of death onto struggling restaurants. Our previously most recent find, the Goodge Street Spaghetti House, closed down after just two or three of our visits. You’d have thought that six to ten comedy writers, three or four times a year could keep any restaurant afloat, but it seems not.

La Ballerina in Covent Garden has been around for a long time. When John Random mentioned the place to Hugh Rycroft, Hugh reported that his aunt used to take him there.

Indeed, I found this history piece on its website – click here. For those who don’t want to click, it reads:

La Ballerina was a little, family-run café when it opened in the late 1800s…back when Hugh Rycroft’s auntie used to bring him to Covent Garden for fruity treats…

But that’s history, whereas we are topical comedy folk…or at least we were.

Anyway, point is, it is always a treat to get together with that crowd. Diverse conversations, ranging from Graham’s bizarre story about spending hours with the wrong Professor Guliyev in Azerbaijan discussing arcane rock formations…

…who knew that Guliyev is a common name in Azerbaijan? Azerbaijanis, that’s who…

…to even more arcane quizzing about symbols on flags. I didn’t come last. Naturally, Barry won that game.

We also talked about the good old days, of course. Songs are often the most memorable items. We talked about the various attempts that several of us had to rhyme things with Mangosuthu Buthelezi, for example. Was it Jonny who had managed something to the tune of Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini? It took two of us, me and Barry, to dredge out something to the tune of Hazy Crazy (Mangosuthu Buthelezi) Days Of Summer.

Roll Out Those Hazy Crazy Mangosuthu Buthelezi Days Of Summer, NewsRevue Lyric, 9 August 1993

Graham reminded us of one of his favourite John Random songs from the days that the former Czechoslovakia broke up – Slow-Vak. As it happens, the Harris/Random archiving project has, mercifully, already rescued that one:

I love the way that John felt obliged to inform the cast how to pronounce Václav Havel’s surname, but not Antonín Dvořák’s. And in the matter of spelling, John, should the word be spelt Slow-vak or Slovak in this context? The distinction could make all the difference, comedically, when reading a piece.

Given that La Ballerina has been an eatery for well north of 150 years, it seems unlikely that it will close down any time soon. But our tenure might be foreshortened due to John Random’s terrified thought in the middle of the night when he got home that he hadn’t paid his share of the bill. I rose early to find a message from John to that effect. I replied:

I quipped with the proprietor fellow, while I was paying, that the sixth man was hiding in the loo trying to avoid paying.  I’d be most surprised, therefore, if he hadn’t accosted you and relieved you of your portion so quickly after you relieved yourself, you didn’t even notice the extraction. The gentleman struck me as a follower of Colbert, adept at ” so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing.”  

But if I am wrong, don’t be surprised if the next Ivan Shakespeare dinner is at yet another new venue, on account of us having been banned from La Ballerina in disgrace.

Oh, and another thing. John and Mark Keagan are doing a bit of a show at the Canal Cafe in June:

I’ve booked my ticket for 10 June, which is the only night I can do. People might wish to book that night to join me or avoid that night to avoid me – click here for booking details.

As always, a fun evening. Ivan Shakespeare’s legacy to us – the idea of having regular gatherings – was a great one, much appreciated by those of us who have survived thus far.

“OK, you NewsRevue-alum quizzers and other readers. What is the connection between my family and medal winning at the Olympic Games? Answer in the comments – but only if you get there without using search engines or AI.” AD.

Maetsro by David Tossell, MCC Library Book Club, Lord’s, 11 March 2026

The subject was Sobers, Janie was, believe it or not, sober

I spotted and booked this one on the members’ on-line system, before it was announced and several weeks before Alan Rees mentioned it to me in the library.

An interesting character, Garry (or should I say Sir Garfield) Sobers. As David Tossell said in his opening remarks about his book, Sobers has not been well served in print previously, with several books of dubious quality and little digging into his impoverished early life and his colourful career.

Before the talk, a traditional Library Book Club supper with two tasty courses, the most photogenic of which was the pud:

Then the talk.

David Tossell peppered his talk with fascinating anecdotes and well-chosen visuals

Attentive. No attention deficit here. Which is more than might be said for Sobers

Of course, Garry Sobers and I go back a long way. Not as far back as the memories many of the attending gentlemen had of watching Sobers play at Lord’s. But I could, in contrarian fashion, wax lyrical about the day that Sobers watched me play at Lord’s.

The Day Garfield Sobers Watched Me & Z/Yen Play Cricket, Lord’s, 30 June 2009

I can hardly wait to read the book. I expect there’ll be a reference in it to that day in 2009, which was surely a major moment in Garry Sobers cricket career…at least it was in mine.

Seriously, as always it was a most enjoyable evening; initially the dining and chatting with interesting folk around us. Then the bonus of a fascinating book talk.

R.O.I. (Return On Investment) by Aaron Loeb, Hampstead Theatre Downstairs, 7 March 2026

Another excellent evening of theatre at the Hampstead Downstairs. We saw a preview of this one, which technically opens on Monday 16th and only runs until 11 April. If the thought of it grabs you, we suggest you grab a ticket while stocks last.

Here’s a link to the blurb and information resources on the Hampstead site.

The play is about venture capital, tech-entrepreneurism, purportedly-ethical-investing and all that sort of thing.

But if that all sounds like a massive turn-off theatrically, don’t be put off. Aaron Loeb has written three all-too-believable, three-dimensional characters who are ensnared, and ensnare each other, in a web of their back stories, ethical dilemmas, rapid technological advancement and the resulting commercial/regulatory environment…with real human interest.

The play reminded me a little of An Enemy Of The People by Henrik Ibsen, especially the Arthur Miller infused version of it I saw so memorably in 1988.

Went To See An Enemy Of The People by Henrik Ibsen (Arthur Miller Adaptation), With Bobbie & Ashley, Young Vic, 9 November 1988

(Aaron Loeb, if by chance you are reading this – that is meant as a compliment).

One conceit of the play – that “the powers that be” might not appreciate a discovery that solves so many problems that their markets and jobs might be eroded – reminded me of an Ealing film I remember seeing on the TV and thinking about a lot as a child – The Man In The White Suit.

Enough about the piece. the acting was excellent throughout. Lloyd Owen, Letty Thomas and Millicent Wong all played their parts superbly well. All three (especially Lloyd Owen and Millicent Wong) were on stage for most of the 100 minutes the play runs, which must take some energy. Chelsea Walker directed the production, making 100 minutes pass without seeming like it was far too long without an interval. But 100 minutes is, by definition, a bit too long without an interval – the audiences aren’t getting any younger, you know.

But my minor quibble is there merely to show balance. This is yet another triumph for the Hampstead Theatre Downstairs. I do hope, for the sake of the wider audience that should see this production, that the production transfers.

Once the production has formal reviews, you should be able to find them for ever through this link …

…or perhaps you’ll simply ask your fridge to call up the reviews for you!

MCC Real Tennis Skills Night, Lord’s, 4 March 2026

The original Hinds Trophy being presented in March 2023

The following text (or an edited version of it) will shortly appear on the MCC website, along with some of the photographs taken on the night. When that happens, I'll add a link.

Sixty years ago, in March 1966, one of the most coveted trophies in global sport, The Jules Rimet Trophy, was stolen from its apparently secure display location in Westminster. A couple of days after an aborted ransom sting, a dog named Pickles discovered a parcel containing the trophy in a hedge beside his owner’s home. Pickles became an overnight sensation, the Jules Rimet was presented at the 1966 Football World Cup Final, before being retained by Brazil, then, a few years later, in Rio, permanently stolen.

The Hinds Trophy (aka The Skills Night Wooden Spoon Trophy), another of the most coveted trophies in global sport, recently had a similar journey. The original Hinds was snatched from its secure location behind the Lord’s hazard end galleries, at some point in the summer or autumn of 2024. No ransom was ever demanded, nor was any canine heroism involved, as far as we know. But just a few weeks ago, long after its replacement with a replica trophy, the original Hinds reappeared just as mysteriously as it had disappeared. The replacement Hinds will continue to be engraved and displayed.  The original Hinds is now preserved at a highly secure, secret location.

Ironically, the coveted Hinds Trophy was nearly won this time by Andrew Hinds’s own team, Three Ravens.  Numerically and temporally challenged in many ways, that team started with just two but ended up with four players. They need words, not numbers; the collective noun for ravens is “an unkindness”.

The ravens team was especially unkind to two teams.  By performing so well on the final discipline, they knocked Souldiers Three (Hugo Fenwick, Gavin Yeats & David Pritchard) into the Hinds Trophy slot.  Then, with the final scoring of the event, those unkind ravens denied Three Things In Store late surge to the top spot. Instead, Three Poor Mariners – Richard Boys-Stones, Mary Strevens & Huw Humphreys – were, fairly, reinstalled at the top of the podium.

The Close But No Cigar Award went to neophyte Gerald Slocock, whose ability to almost-but-not-quite hit a target might become the stuff of legend, if he maintains form in that regard.

The Most Valuable Player (MVP) Award went to Shaheed “Sid” Rashid, not least for being the only player to score two points off one hit on the central beam of the dedans gallery.

The Philip The Bold Golden Moment Award went to John Thirlwell, for an extraordinary hat trick of coups du pataugeoire -landing the serve in a paddling pool – which is much harder than it sounds.

There is a serious purpose to skills night; honing skills.  True, most of the skills honed on such nights involve eating curry, drinking, singing and the like, but the evening does include some real tennis skills too.

Skills night unquestionably proves the skills of the MCC admin team who organise the event so well, and our tennis professionals, who make the game swing with great reliability.  Which is more than can be said for most of us players’ tennis swings!

Here is a link to the piece, with pictures, on the MCC website, available to those who have a suitable login. Apart from the pictures, it is the above text, unexpurgated. What are the editors thinking?

…and here’s a link to scrape of that piece with pictures.