“John White The Only One Dancing”, Learning How To Do The Keele SU Disco And Other Late August 1984 Happenings

Photo by: Henk Snoek / RIBA Collections

The Students’ Union Ballroom is a big place. In our day (the early 1980s), I believe it was still the largest venue between Birmingham and Manchester. If I remember correctly we were allowed to cram in 1,000 people, many of whom would have been smoking.

In truth, it was far too large a venue for discos during the summer vacation, when there would only be a few hundred people, mostly Open University (OU) summer-schoolers, on campus.

But we wanted to generate some income for the Students’ Union, we wanted our friends from the KRA (postgraduate) bar, who were temporarily running the SU bars, to try out some ideas for the bars, plus John White and I wanted to learn how to do the Union discos so that we’d be able to “take on” the cartel of student DJs that was charging for services that we felt they would and should do for the love of it during term time.

Doing discos for the OU crowd was a low risk way for me and John to learn on the job. Pady Jalali, who was the sabbatical social secretary that year, gave us confidence that we were qualified to fulfil the role:

Honestly, fellas, any idiot could do it…

…without providing any specific guidance.

Actually we quickly learnt that there is quite an art to it. Admittedly, almost any idiot could soon learn how to play records for a few hours on twin-decks without too many jumps, false-starts or awkward silences. But putting together a thoughtful playlist that keeps the dancing atmosphere going, mixing the pace and genres appropriately, is non-trivial.

John and I learnt quickly enough and loved doing it.

Let’s see what else I was up to at that stage of the summer and then return to the disco topic.

Late August 1984 Happenings

Sunday, 19 August 1984 – Nasty day (especially morning came into work – Ralph etc) – spent afternoon going over Ringroad stuff with Frank. Performed Ringroad in evening.

Monday, 20 August 1984 – Quite a busy day in the office – spent evening in union and KRA with Frank and John.

Tuesday, 21 August 1984 – Busy day in office – UC in afternoon. Frank cooked – did Ringroad and disco both went down rather badly.

Wednesday, 22 August 1984 – Loads of meetings and things. Busy day. Went to KRA in evening with Frank.

Evidence, if it were needed, that our DJ-ing (and indeed my comedy performance) skills needed work. One aspect that Frank and I realised for the Ringroad comedy was that the Union (even the upstairs Room 14) was too large a venue for the Open University crowd. I think we did our subsequent Ringroad gigs in the Lindsay bar, where most if not all of the OU lot were based.

But John and I needed to try and make the SU Ballroom work for the discos, as it was that set up that we needed to learn and revenues for the SU that we wee trying to generate.

After interviewing for the replacement bar managers on the Thursday, I then took a short break in London.

Thursday, 23 August 1984 – Interviewed for bar managers this morning – came down to London – went to Grandma Jenny’s after dinner for evening.

Friday, 24 August 1984 – Went to West End this afternoon – shopped etc. Stayed in in the evening – lazy day.

Saturday, 25 August 1984 -Another lazy day. Paul came over in the afternoon – stayed in evening – taped/listened and watched TV.

Sunday, 26 August 1984 – Went Angela & John’s [Kessler, cousins] in the afternoon – took Mum and Dad to Joy King Lau in the evening.

Monday, 27 August 1984 – Had Il Carretto lunch and left for Keele in the early evening – spent eve down union and up flat.

John White and others who hung around with me that sabbatical year might like to know that that the taping I did with Paul Deacon that weekend ended up as a favourite mix tape, which I have recently replicated on YouTube Music for all to hear. The first 45 minutes is softer/more danceable stuff, the second half more alternative/new wave:

ON THE SCROUNGE PLAYLIST

Don’t be put off by the auto-crossing out of the above link – I believe you can click and enjoy the play list whether or not you are a YouTube Music subscriber.

I don’t remember ever taking my parents to Joy King Lau, in Leicester Street. John White, Bobbie Scully and many other friends will remember eating with me there. Forty years later, in August 2024, the place is still there and some people are even giving it good reviews on TripAdvisor.

Tuesday, 28 August 1984 – Busy day (early start) – exam time. Quite a lot of people through office. Boozy UC meeting. Went back to John Boy’s for dinner – did the disco in the evening together.

Wednesday, 29 August 1984 – extremely busy with resit people all day – Kate cooked dinner for John Frank & I [sic] in eve – very pleasant.

The Union Committee meeting will have been boozy to celebrate the fact that it was my birthday and would, the next day, be John White’s birthday.

We suspect that the disco we did together that night will have tipped just past the midnight licence. Given that it was the night after bank holiday Monday, I don’t suppose there were all that many people there.

Not only did that evening kick off the long-standing tradition of John and me spending our birthdays together…

…but for our sabbatical year it kicked off the tradition of us playing exactly what we wanted in the earlier part of the evening, making the most of the enormous dance floor to have a dance work out alone or with just one or two friends.

Later in our sabbatical year, the Geordie Mag (which was a Keele Geordies’ tribute to Viz Comic, produced a cartoon which depicted John White, in the ballroom, as “the only one dancing”. In the next frame, someone asks John to help them light their cigarette: “have you got a match, John?”, to which, in the next frame, John replies, “not since Errol Flynn died”. Maybe you had to be there.

I asked a couple of artificial intelligence image generators to produce pictures of two DJs at a student disco in the 1980s with very few students in attendance and even fewer of them dancing. Most of the attempts were risible. The AI simply cannot get its artificial head around the idea of a near-empty dance floor.

This is the best of the AI images – from DALL-E, but the Keele SU disco looked nothing like that.

Better to feast your eyes on the gorgeous headline image of the Keele SU Ballroom, with thanks again to the RIBA Collection for permission to use.

My First Ringroad Performance and Related Memories, Keele, 18 August 1984

Glowing…

I was reminded of my early Ringroad performances the other day (May 2017) while chatting with Paul Spence at an informal, curry-oriented gathering of the old school clan.

When Paul mentioned that his extensive energy sector interests include nuclear power, I found myself reciting the Ringroad Windscale poem from memory – the first and last verse simply flowed as if I had read or performed it just the other day.

Paul asked if I had a copy of the poem. I said I probably did – see below.

I didn’t write the poem. I’m not sure who did. Possibly Frank Dillon; at least Frank would probably know who wrote it. I’d like to credit it if anyone reading this can let me know the name of the author.

That chat with Paul brought back a flood of memories about my sabbatical year summer and my first Ringroad performances.

Over the summer, Keele would get waves of Open University students passing through for short face-to-face courses. This was rich pickings for a depleted Ringroad troupe, as you could redeploy the same material, show after show, secure in the knowledge that it was new to the frequently-changing audience.

Further, the Open University audience had money. Ringroad was traditionally performed on an “entry free, pay what you like on exit” basis. Our own impoverished students would tend to chip in with a couple of bob at best (nothing at worst), whereas the OU students would happily toss 50p pieces or pound coins/notes into the hat. One OU performance could easily generate a week’s-worth of beer money for two or three performers.

Frank Dillon, who was a seasoned Ringroad writer and performer, was around that summer and we spent a lot of time with him. I guess I was the only sabbatical mad enough (or perhaps I should say keen enough on a bit of extra-curricular performance and beer money) to agree to give Ringroad a try with him.

I recall Adrian Gorst joining me and Frank in performing Ringroad on occasions that summer, but I’m pretty sure that my first attempt was just me and Frank, an idea possibly hatched by Frank because Adrian was away. Frank probably sealed the deal with me a couple of nights before:

Thursday 16 August…went to Burtonwood piss up with Frank in eve

John White was also around that summer but didn’t want to perform Ringroad. It was just a few days earlier (14 August) that John and I started doing Union discos together – I’ll cover the discos and much more about that summer in other Ogblog pieces.

Still, it seems that my first attempt at Ringroad went well enough:

Saturday 18 August…did Ringroad in the evening – good larf

Frank and I did it again the next day:

Sunday 19 August…spent afternoon going over Ringroad stuff with Frank. Performed Ringroad in evening.

But perhaps I was over-stretching myself taking on all this novel activity at the same time:

Tuesday 21 August…did Ringroad and disco – both went down rather badly.

I recall that the OU students had somewhat of a reputation in the eyes of the regular Keele people. Let me merely say that many an OU student’s ring finger would show evidence of very recent ring removal, especially in the evenings.

From: http://www.flickr.com/photos/askjoanne/390246275/ Photographer: AskJoanne
This file is gratefully licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license.

Indeed, had the term “cougar hunter” been invented back then, performing Ringroad to the OU students might have been described as, “like wielding a two bore rifle in a jungle densely inhabited by felines of a particular species”.

Not that I am suggesting that Frank Dillon and I were “two bores”. Far from it. Moreover, neither of us were interested in that particular fringe benefit.

In fact, I recall, after one of those early performances, Frank was relentlessly chased after the show by a very enthusiastic middle-aged OU woman who said she loved the show and clearly took a particular shine to Frank. I think it might have been the night that John and I also did the disco, so John and I only had limited opportunities to rescue Frank and help steer proceedings to a reasonably dignified conclusion.

If Frank had shown a more open-minded attitude to such matters, of course, he might have become President of France by now. Or at least Merseyside Metro Mayor.

Still, bunny boiling hadn’t yet been invented then either, so, as far as I know, no animals, (feline, lapine or indeed of any species) were harmed in the making of Ringroad that summer. Pady Jalali, our social secretary, a well-known protector of live fauna and carrion alike, will be much relieved to learn this.

Why did I recall all of this?

Oh yes, Windscale, Sellafield and the poem that I doubtless learned that first weekend of doing Ringroad and which has stuck in my brain ever since. The corn flake box which protected my collection of Ringroad scripts has long since disintegrated, but I have preserved the scripts as best I can in a file.

To be credited to the author as soon as that person’s identity is established. If you click through to the image, you can then download the file from Ogblog.

The author, if/when that person’s identity does come to light, might wish to explain their idiosyncratic spelling of Sellafield, but we’ll let that pass for now.

Choosing Beers & Amusements & Other Keele Students’ Union Efforts, Plus A Short Trip To Merseyside, Early-To-Mid August 1984

Photo by Clemensfranz GNU FDL 1.2 and CC 3.0

My sense is that the Students’ Union in August was traditionally a quiet place. However, our committee was shaking several trees, which meant a fair bit of work to do, perhaps beyond the norm.

Having dismissed the bar managers…

…we still needed to keep the bars open, albeit a limited service during August. We needed temporary bar management – enter stage left John “Beaky” White (not to be confused with John S White, the sabbatical secretary) and Pete Cumberland from the KRA (postgraduate bar). We also needed to get on with the process of finding new permanent bar managers before the new term.

In any case, I think there was a regular requirement for the new committee to renew or replace extant agreements with beer and amusements companies, which involved an element of due diligence, some of which was, I must admit, quite pleasurable. John White and I were prepared to take the sabbatical lead on those tasks.

Here’s what my diary had to say about that early August period:

Sunday, 5 August 1984 – Went down Sneyd/Joanne’s [Jo Gadian] for lunch – got wrecked and spent most of the day and evening giggling uncontrollably.

Monday, 6 August 1984 – Busy day – still loads of things to sort out etc. Came down bar in eve – met lots of reps etc.

Tuesday, 7 August 1984 -Busy day packed with meetings etc – UC (Union Committee meeting) in afternoon – worked till late. Had meal. Went round finding advertising, union etc.

Wednesday, 8 August 1984 – Fairly busy day in office – went over to Ashley’s {Fletcher] in eve – drank a lot and dossed out there.

Thursday 9 August 1984 -Fairly busy getting stuff done before going away – worked till late – went to disco.

I took some long weekends/”few day breaks” during that summer vacation. During that August period, I went to the Wirral/Merseyside to stay with Bobbie Scully.

Friday, 10 August 1984 – Met senior tutor {Eddie Slade] in morning and then left for Liverpool – had a lazy afternoon and eve. Went to a pub in the eve.

Saturday, 11 August 1984 – Got up late – went into town [Liverpool from Wallasey] in afternoon – returned to town in evening to see play – stayed up late.

Sunday, 12 August 1984 – Late again – went bowling in New Brighton – drank in a pub in Eve – stayed up late watching videos etc.

Monday, 13 August 1984 -Got up late – went to Southport for the afternoon & evening – had meal – very pleasant – late night again.

I guessed that we went to see Alan Bleasdale’s Having A Ball. The Theatr Clwyd production we saw – here is the Theatricalia link – was reviewed thusly in the Liverpool Echo:

Ball EchoBall Echo 26 Apr 1984, Thu Liverpool Echo (Liverpool, Merseyside, England) Newspapers.com

…but that production closed before 13 August, so we must have gone to see that one on one of my earlier visits or when it came to Stoke.

I’m guessing we therefore saw Cavern Of Dreams at the Liverpool Playhouse on that occasion, which picked up this interesting preview in The Post:

Cavern Post KeyCavern Post Key 23 Jul 1984, Mon Daily Post (3 a.m. ed.) (Liverpool, Merseyside, England) Newspapers.com

I don’t think we were wild about that play/production.

Tuesday, 14 August 1984 – Returned to Keele the UC in afternoon. John boy and I did disco in eve – good fun and quite successful.

Wednesday, 15 August 1984 – busyish day in office – got quite a lot done. Spent evening in union and KRA.

Thursday, 16 August 1984 – Quite a busy day in the office – went to Burtonwood piss up with Frank [Dillon] in eve.

Friday, 17 August 1984 – Busyish day in office etc. Went down KRA in evening.

Pady Jalali (Social Secretary) was determined to break a “disco DJ cartel”, which meant that a select group of students were paid to DJ discos. Pady’s view was that the gig was so popular she could auction the spots and get people to pay for the privilege of being DJ. Although she wasn’t going to go that far, she was going to stop paying people and anticipated a “strike”, which we agreed that the committee would “break” by DJ-ing the discos ourselves until enough willing students put their hands up for the gigs.

Hence me and John “doing the disco” for the first time that Tuesday evening. We almost certainly had just a small gathering of Open University students that evening. Good fun probably means that John and I enjoyed it as much or more than the punters. Quite successful must mean that we got the punters dancing.

We got better at DJ-ing as we went along.

There’s more to it than just a couple of knobs and a dance floor… Photo by Tristan Schmurr from Luxembourg, Luxembourg, CC BY 2.0

John & I didn’t have to DJ for long into the term, but, having learnt the art during the summer we put our hands up a few times during the academic year. More on that anon.

When The Keele Students’ Union Bars (aka Tommy And Ralph) Saga Came To A Head, Early August 1984

University Of Keele Students’ Union Bar, Early 1980s, with grateful thanks to Peter Meade, Keele Alum & Photographer – check out his amazing work through this link.

There was a great deal to learn when we started our Keele Union Committee roles, not least our own portfolios (in my case Education & Welfare) but also the general management of the Students’ Union as a business. One issue dominated those early weeks of our tenure in the summer of 1984 – the matter of significant stock losses across the three bars in the union – sums that were turning a potentially profitable (or at least break even) business into a significantly loss-making one.

The subject was well covered in Concourse by Vanessa Kent while I was busy doing my finals:

I recall that we were advised by the Unions’ Permanent Secretary, Tony Derricott, that our predecessor committee had started but not concluded a disciplinary process against the bar managers, Tommy Armour and Ralph Newton. It was, we were advised, imperative that we concluded that process one way or another in a reasonably timely fashion.

I don’t mention the problem directly in my diary until the matter came to a head, but some of my diary notes indicate roughly when things panned out.

I mention a long Union Committee meeting 8 June and use the word “corruption” to describe a central topic. I want to say from the outset that we concluded in the end that management/permanent staff corruption was not involved. The problem, as we identified it, was to a large extent, management’s inability to control part-time student bar staff, some of whom would support their friends’ drinking habits through low charging or no charging.

The sums of money were very significant. We estimated the stock losses to be running at £10,000 to £15,000 per annum at that time – in beer purchasing power terms that’s more like £100,000 to £150,000 per annum in 2024 money.

Each mention of Union Committee in my June and July diaries talks about the meeting being long and/or “dragged on”. It was this topic that dominated the agenda, although there were of course many other items to discuss as well.

At least one or two of those meetings in July were also interim disciplinary hearings. We took the view that our committee needed to examine all the evidence and allow Tommy and Ralph time to explain the substantial stock deficits and their plans for rectifying them. This required us to allow enough time for subsequent stock takes to occur and then be reported back to us.

Measure for measure

Kate and I visited the Union’s solicitor in late July for advice on process, knowing that the matter almost certainly could not fairly be concluded before Kate Fricker was going to be in the USA on holiday.

The upshot was, a meeting on 31 July at which the committee agreed to issue a final warning based on incapacity – i.e. that the managers seemed incapable of explaining the losses and/or producing a plan of action to solve the problem.

We set a deadline and meeting to review any subsequent findings/explanations that the managers might produce, in consultation with their trades union reps, timetabled for 3rd August. We (Union Committee) agreed that I would chair that meeting in Kate’s absence. I recall that Kate was not at all happy about needing to devolve that responsibility, but it was clear from the legal guidance that we needed to progress using that timetable, rather than wait for Kate’s return..

My diary page for the preceding day, the day of the concluding hearing itself and the day after reads as follows:

Thursday 2 August 1984 – Busy day at the office – getting things ready for tomorrow etc. Melissa [Oliveck] came up – cooked her a meal and went down union after and [Melissa] stopped over.

Friday 3 August 1984 – Gruelling day. – UC [Union Committee] meeting went on for over four hours – sacked Ralph and Tommy. Changed locks etc – then went out in evening with Ashley [Fletcher] Frank [Dillon] and Melissa to KRA [Keele Research Association – postgraduate bar].

Saturday 4 August 1984 – Most of the day in the office sorting stuff out – came down union in evening.

I put a great deal of effort into making sure that I was fully prepared for either eventuality – a decision to dismiss or a decision not to dismiss. While we thought it unlikely that Tommy and Ralph might produce explanations and or plans of significantly higher quality than before, I wanted to be ready to announce either possibility with clarity and conviction. I wrote quite detailed notes on “what to say if we dismiss” and “what to say if we do not dismiss”, not least because I was so darned nervous I thought I might freeze without prompts. I wrote those notes slowly in block capitals too, to ensure that I could read my own handwriting, even when feeling nervous.

The fact that I note cooking for Melissa and her “stopping over” at the flat suggests that Pete Wild, the Treasurer, must have been away at that time, as Pete also lived in that flat. But apart from Kate and Pete I think the rest of the committee was there for that gruelling 3 August meeting.

The matter came to a head

I didn’t shirk from my responsibility – looking those employees in the eye – Tommy who had served for 16 years, Ralph for six – telling them that they no longer had jobs and explaining why. I firmly believed and still believe that it was absolutely the right decision for the Students’ Union. But I, along with the other members of the committee, felt a great deal of sympathy with the sacked employees, who, we felt, were victims of circumstance. The scale of the Students’ Union bar business “had got big on them” and they simply were incapable of managing a large three-bar outlet of that scale. Both had started as part-time bar mangers.

I spent a long time in the office the following day, Saturday, not least formally typing up the decision and getting that into the post that day, in order to comply as fully as I knew how with the rule in the staff handbook that letters of dismissal should be sent as soon as possible after a dismissal hearing.

The matter was far from resolved in early August. Tommy and Ralph’s NUPE (National Union of Public Employees, now part of UNISON) rep, Derek Bamford, told us in no uncertain terms that they would be pursuing every possible avenue of appeal, which they did. There will be plenty more about this matter in my Ogblog pages covering the period right up to the end of 1984.

The experience has had a profound effect on my attitude towards employment matters for the decades since. In my management consultancy years, late 1980s until around the turn of the century, I was always hard on colleagues who “played fast and loose” with company reorganisations, especially in circumstances when they would not have to see through their recommendations and were disparaging about clients’ reluctance to dismiss people. “Have you ever looked long-standing employees in the eye and told them that they no longer have jobs?”, I would tend to say, to ensure that such decisions were well thought through, made only when necessary, and delivered sensitively. In my own firm, we have very rarely dismissed a member of staff – I could count the times over the decades on the fingers of one hand – and I consider such rare occurrences primarily to be a fail on our part as employers.

I’d be really interested to hear from other members of that Union Committee on how they remember this aspect of our work together, and how it affected them. Either privately or in a form that I might publish as a postscript here.