What this one lacks in humour it can’t quite make up for with historical accuracy and clever rhymes on the names of obscure Slavic places and politicians names.
Some good lines though.
I cannot think of lyrics that work to Copacabana without remembering John Random’s classic: “His name was Tony, He was an arsehole, he used to drive his kids to school in a Japanese four-wheel cruiser. It was a Shogun, from Mitsubishi…”
If we ask John nicely he might fill in the rest – I can recall some excellent fragments.
Anyway, my lyric that works to that tune reads like this:
BOSNIA-HERCEGOVINA
(To the Tune of “Copacabana”)
VERSE 1
His name was Owen, he was a shamen,
With his thick grey wavy hair, he looked like a grizzly bear,
And his friend Cyrus, did not inspire us,
From his compromising stance, you could see those Serbs ‘ad Vance;
Across poor Bosnia, those Serbs took Gorazde,
They were young and they had more weapons in Srebenica.
CHORUS 1
It’s Bosnia-Hercegovina, the place could not be more obscener;
In Bosnia-Hercegovina, when they’re not shooting, those Serbs are out looting,
In Bosnia, it’s hell on earth. {Bosnia-Hercegovina}
VERSE 2
Now Billy Clinton, hated what went on,
So he got his UN clone, to declare a no fly zone,
To aid the mission, for a partition,
In the way that Owen says, have ten separate provinces;
But Serbs won’t play along, they’ve had their way too long,
They’ve killed and raped and maimed and looted, but claim they’re not wrong.
CHORUS 2
It’s Bosnia-Hercegovina, the Serbs took to the ethnic cleaners,
Poor Bosnia-Hercegovina, Serbs break the silence, with combat and violence,
In Bosnia, it’s getting worse. {Bosnia-Hercegovina}
VERSE 3
One day Lord Owen, that aging shamen,
Got that old Serb git Radovan, to sign the Vance-Owen plan,
The folks in Britain, were truly smitten,
They didn’t realise this plan, had really only just began,
The UN went in more, they said they must make sure,
That the Muslims, Serbs and Croats really stop the war.
CHORUS 3
In Bosnia-Hercegovina, these rhymes get progressively thinner,
With Bosnia-Hercegovina, (once) they stop berating we’ll start celebrating,
For Bosnia, let’s hope peace lasts.
Here is Barry Manilow singing Copacabana with lyrics:
In June 1993 I updated Verse 3 and Chrus 3:
VERSE 3
One day Lord Owen, that aging shamen,
Was shocked when he learned Radovan, would not back the Owen plan,
Muslims and Croats, then had a go at,
Each other – the Vance-Owen plan, went right back where it began;
The UN’s best defence, was sitting on the fence,
Hoping Muslims, Serbs and Croats someday cease offence.
CHORUS 3
In Bosnia-Hercegovina, the vultures are the only winners
With Bosnia-Hercegovina, if they stop berating we’ll start celebrating,
For Bosnia, let’s hope for peace.