William Waldegrave was a cabinet minister in John Major’s government.
It transpired that he was also a neighbour of mine in Notting Hill Gate and a regular at our favourite Chinese restaurant around the corner, The Park Inn, where he and his family became nodding acquaintances of ours.
But I didn’t discover the latter until after I had written this lyric (and others) about him. As far as I know, Waldegrave never discovered that I, his fellow diner, was also that lyricist.
_ LITTLE WILLIE WALDEGRAVE _
(To the Tune of “Little Willy”)
(Abba wigs might come in handy for this song)
VERSE 1
Big lies, small lies, Little Willie Waldegrave’s so fair he’s a chevalier,
Touchy, Duchy, Willie looks so silly with his bouffant funny looking hair;
Way past one and Willie’s such a sight,
Cos when Waldegrave debates he may talk all night,
Hey there, stay there, grey hairs, flair.
CHORUS 1
Cos Little Willie Willie’s hair, won’t comb,
And you can’t make Willie wear hair styling foam;
Tried telling him that he looks like a coxcomb,
Little Willie Willie’s hair, won’t comb.
VERSE 2
Left wing, right wing Little Wally Willie says its couth to express an untruth,
Hanky-panky Willie drives em silly on Profumo and Hartley Booth,
Tories sell arms to Iraq and Iran,
But Willie pins the lies on James Callaghan,
Forsooth, war sleuth, half-truth, proof.
CHORUS 2
Cos Little Willie Willie won’t tell lies,
Though he says all other MPs tell pork pies;
Now Willie Waldegrave’s the one they despise,
Cos Little Willie says MPs tell lies.
CHORUS 3
Little Willie says he won’t resign,
Though the Scott Inquiry says Willie did sign;
He oughtta style hair like Michael Hestletine,
Michael is ascendant while Willie’s in decline.
Here’s a video that plays Little Willy by The Sweet with the lyrics on screen:
While here is The Sweet on TOTP performing their song. Brian Connolly’s tank top and yellow outfit has to be seen to be believed – remember that this stuff was described as “Glam Rock” at the time, 1972: