Midnight Train To Georgia is a great song, but it does not lend itself to comedy lyrics. I should have learnt my lesson a couple of years earlier with my “Midnight Plane To Jordan” lyric.
It also wasn’t the best idea to return to the subject of state execution, although my very first success in NewsRevue, “California Here I Go”, was on that subject.
Mercifully, the following lyric, which makes some excellent points but is low on laughs (to say the least), was never used.
ELECTRIC CHAIR IN GEORGIA
(To the Tune of “Midnight Train To Georgia”)
VERSE 1England proved too much for Ingram {too much for Ingram, he had to leave here},
So he left Old Blighty’s shores decades ago, oh-oh,
{He said he’s goin’} So he went to find a land {went to find a land}
Ohhh-ohhh where the gun cannot be banned,
But in the State’s he’s found, he too can be canned.CHORUS 1
He’s leavin’ {leavin’} on that midnight chair in Georgia,
{Leavin by electric chair, yeh};
So he’s now about to find {now about to find},
Eye for an eye leaves justice blind,
{If his appeal’s not compliant , his lawyer better find another client}
Are fiends electric? {we know they are}
In electric chairs in Georgia {shocking things, electric chairs, ssshhhwwwiiittt-bang}
He must be desperate as hell {desperate as hell},
Approaching John Major’s kind.
{Poor sod has gone half out of his mind}VERSE 2
Ingram’s dreamin’ {dreamin’} ohhh that John Major takes his side,
{it’s suicide, but Nick might as well try}
And he’ll soon find out the hard way, dreams don’t always come true,
{Major’s plea may yet come through, pigs fly, Nick’s screwed}
So he’s written to his folks {ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh}
And to law reformer blokes {ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh}
He is mighty eloquent for an irredeemable miscreant,
Oh yes he is, but he’s still fucked.CHORUS 2
Because he’s leavin’ {leavin’} by electric chair in Georgia,
{Leavin by electric chair, oh yeh}
So he’s goin’ to have some jolts {goin’ to have some jolts}
Of several thousand volts
{If you think that this song is shlock, it’s not as nasty as Nick Ingram’s shock}
He’ll write his story {best seller stuff}
About that ‘lectric chair in Georgia {the royalty’s a static charge, ssshhhwwwiiittt-bang}
If he’d been a football star {with OJ’s charisma}
He’d live despite all his faults.
Gladys Knight and the Pips and the lyrics below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meaVNHch96o