I don’t think this lyric ever made it into the show and possibly just as well. The slow numbers have to be very good to work in the show and this lyric doesn’t make the grade as I look at it 25+ years later.
TELECOM CHARGES
(To the Tune of “Wichita Lineman”)
VERSE 1
I am a financier for BT,
And I’ll buy BT 3;
Fifty quidsworth yuppy,
Taking shares profitably.
They’re raking in a huge pile,
They’re making hay while the sun shines;
Cos the Telecom charges,
Are way out of line.
VERSE 2
I know they have some competition,
But it don’t look like trade;
As Mercury it seems to me,
Can never make the grade.
Those BT fat cats are laughing,
They make more money every time;
Cos those new operations,
Must hire BT lines.
VERSE 3
But someday soon BT will tumble,
And lose their monopoly;
Now yuppies drone on cordless phones,
That don’t come from BT.
And though we need them more than want them,
And wally’s use them at odd times;
The cellular cordless,
Don’t use BT lines.
Below is Glen Campbell singing Wichita Lineman, with the lyrics of that song there to be seen on the screen: