Don’t You Want Me Voters?, NewsRevue Lyric, 2 January 1996

I rather like this lyric. I’m not sure how well it did in the show.

DON’T YOU WANT ME VOTERS?
(To the Tune of “Don’t You Want Me?”)
VERSE 1

MAGGIE: You were working as a teller in a Brixton Bank when I met you;
I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around,
And turned you into someone blue;
Now five years later on you’re facing up to defeat,
Success has not been easy for you;
But don’t forget it’s me who put you where you are now,
And I can put you back down too.

CHORUS 1

MAJOR: Don’t, don’t they want me?
You know I can’t believe it when they say they won’t vote Tory;
Don’t, don’t they want me?
You know I don’t believe it when the papers say I’m boring.
I think I might resign….
MAGGIE: What! And let in Hestletine?
BOTH: You’d [I’d] better toughen up or we will both be sorry.
MAJOR: Don’t you want me voters? Don’t you want me?……….(feebly)………. no?
Don’t you want me voters? Don’t you want me?…..(more feebly)…… oh.

VERSE 2

MAJOR: You were working as Prime Minister in Downing Street that much is true;
But even then I knew I’d find a much better way, either with or without you.
MAGGIE: Those five years since I went have been dismal times, you make me spew;
But now the right is stuck between the rocks and hard place,
And so we must put up with you.

CHORUS 2

MAJOR: Don’t, don’t they want me?
You know I don’t believe it when they say I’ve got no mandate;
MAGGIE: Don’t, don’t they want you?
You might need an election long before you reach your planned date.
MAJOR: I think I might resign….
MAGGIE: The plonker’s lost his spine
BOTH: You’d [I’d] better get it back or we’ll have no more Tories.
MAGGIE: Don’t you want him voters? Don’t you want him? No!!!
MAJOR: Don’t you want me voters? Don’t you want me?…..(feebly)…… oh.
BOTH: Don’t you want me [him] voters?

[MAJOR: (spoken) Well I was only asking.]

Here is Don’t You Want Me sung by the Human League: