I remember that John Random wrote a great NewsRevue sketch/lyric for the Orange order marching season one year – hopefully we can find it in his archive somewhere when we excavate same. Mine, below, is not as good…but it is still quite good.
WHEN I SEE AN ORANGEMAN SMILE
(To the Tune of “When I See An Elephant Fly”)
INTRO
LEAD: Did you ever see an Orangeman smile?
CHORUS 1: Well I’ve seen a sweet smile!
CHORUS 2: I’ve seen a rye smile!
CHORUS 3: I’ve seen a Bosnian Muslim with no arms, legs or tallywacker smile.VERSE 1
LEAD: Yeh, I’ve seen all that too.
I’ve seen a Papist grin,
And seen a Catholic sin,
I’ve seen Republicans use their guile;
But I’d be done seein’ about everything, when I see an Orangeman Smile.
CHORUS 3: (Dr Paisley style) What did you say, boy?
LEAD: I said when I see an Ulsterman smile,
I’ve seen a Tudor beam,
And seen a Stuart gleam,
I’ve seen a Feinian run a mile;
But I’d be done seein’ about everything, when I see an Orangeman Smile.MIDDLE EIGHT
CHORUS: Da be do da da do da wa (etc. – do the do-do’s yourselves)
CHORUS 1: I saw a marcher, some say he grins,
LEAD: No I’m sure that he just snarls with a bit of a wince;
CHORUS 2: I didn’t see that I only heard,
CHORUS 3: (Dr Paisley style) He shouts abuse in accents so completely absurd.VERSE 2
CHORUS 1: I’ve seen an Irish laugh,
CHORUS 3: I’ve seen a Paisley scarf,
CHORUS 2: I’ve seen some funerals done in style;
LEAD: But I’d be done seein’ ’bout everything when I see an Orangeman smileOUTRO
CHORUS: Ba-da-do-do, da-da-wop sh-bop (etc.)
CHORUS: But I’d be done seein’ ’bout everything when I see a Unionist,
LEAD: Even when he’s truly pissed,
ALL: When I see an Orangeman smile!
Below is the wonderful scene and When I See An Elephant Fly song from Dumbo:
Click here to read the lyrics of When I See An Elephant Fly.