Geoffrey Robinson, NewsRevue Lyric, 9 January 1998

Geoffrey Robinson was the Paymaster General in Tony Blair’s first government. He lost that job in late 1998 over the Peter Mandelson home loan scandal covered by version two of the lyric below. 

Coincidentally, that Mandelson home was a few blocks away from my flat; I still go past it on my way to the health club and for some time back then Mandelson himself was to be seen there.

GEOFFREY ROBINSON
(To the Tune of “Mrs Robinson”)

CHORUS 1
So here’s to you, Geoffrey Robinson,
Tony loves you more than you will know (wo, wo, wo);
What’s that you say, Geoffrey Robinson?
Havens hold a place for those who pay (hey, hey, hey, hey hey hey).

VERSE 1
We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files,
We’re glad that you have learned to help yourself;
Look around and you will see unsympathetic eyes,
In the treasury, where you feel so at home.

CHORUS 2
What’s in your past, Geoffrey Robinson?
Madam Bourgeois loved you as we know (ho, ho, ho);
Down on your knees, Geoffrey Robinson,
God knows what you’ve licked to earn your pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 2
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes,
Stuck away in Guernsey in your trust funds;
It’s a little secret, just the Robinson’s affair,
Most of all you’ve got to hide it from the press

CHORUS 3
Coo coo catchoo, Geoffrey Robinson,
Money sticks to you as we all know (wo, wo, wo);
Rolling in cash, Geoffrey Robinson,
Vested offshore in a tax free way (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 3
Sitting in your mansion on a Sunday afternoon,
Going to the conference debate;
Laugh about it, shout about it, when loop holes are lax,
Only little people need pay tax.

OUTRO
You’re not quite like John deLorean,
At least he built a factory or two (woo, woo, woo);
We’ve news for you, Geoffrey Robinson,
Gordon Brown has ways to make you pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

I also wrote an update of this one 22 December 1998:

GEOFFREY ROBINSON VERSION 2
(To the Tune of “Mrs Robinson”)

CHORUS 1
So here’s to you, Geoffrey Robinson,
Tony loves you more than you will know (wo, wo, wo);
What’s that you say, Geoffrey Robinson?
Havens hold a place for those who pay (hey, hey, hey, hey hey hey).

VERSE 1
We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files,
We’re glad that you have learned to help yourself;
Look around and you will see unsympathetic eyes,
In the treasury, where you feel so at home.

CHORUS 2
What’s in your past, Geoffrey Robinson?
Madam Bourgeois loved you as we know (ho, ho, ho);
Down on your knees, Geoffrey Robinson,
God knows what you’ve licked to earn your pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 2
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes,
Stuck away in Guernsey in your trust funds;
It’s a little secret, just the Robinson’s affair,
Most of all you’ve got to hide it from the press

CHORUS 3
Coo coo catchoo, Geoffrey Robinson,
Money sticks to you as we all know (wo, wo, wo);
Rolling in cash, Geoffrey Robinson,
Vested offshore in a tax free way (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

VERSE 3
Sitting in your mansion on a Sunday afternoon,
Going to the conference debate;
Laugh about it, shout about it, when loop holes are lax,
Only little people need pay tax.

OUTRO
Who’s your fat friend, Peter Mandelson?
Geoffrey bought a lovely house for you (woo, woo, woo);
It’s just on loan, Peter Mandelson,
Geoffrey will find ways to make you pay (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey).

Below is Simon & Garfunkel singing Mrs Robinson:

Click here for the lyrics to Mrs Robinson.