Then it dawned on me; Harold sent me a recording of Marion Ryan singing the song, so the second version must be my transcription of their tweaked version of the lyric.
It also dawned on me that I might even find the recording somewhere…
…and so I did.
So here is Marion Ryan singing Arthur:
…and here is their slightly tweaked version of the lyric.
ARTHUR
(To the Tune of “Laura”)
VERSE 1
Arthur,
Mr Crames who is sixty now,
Share deals, they just rise, never fall;
Self made, warm-hearted and from Bear Stearns,
But won’t say what he earns,
At all;
VERSE 2
You won’t see Arthur,
On the plane that is passing through,
He likes, beach and pool to be near;
He has the very best meals for you,
So for Arthur,
Let’s all give a big cheer.
…and here (again) is Sinatra singing Laura. Sadly no recording of him singing Arthur:
Presumably Jamie Blandford got himself into the news a fair bit that year. I cover quite a lot of ground in this lyric. Perhaps too much.
MEET ME IN THE MANSION
(To the Tune of “Meet Me on the Corner”)
VERSE 1
THE LAW: Hey Jamie Blanford, say, how have you been,
Tell me, have you Coke you can snort?
We came along, to grab you by the shlong,
And to seize the blow you’ve not bought.
TAXI DRIVER: You and your raids, on the Chemists and maids,
You’re a lecher, junkie and ponce;
You jump out and run while my meter’s still on,
When in the back of my taxi once.
CHORUS 1
JAMIE: Meet me in the mansion,
When the drugs are passing through,
And I’ll be there, inhaling herbal air;
THE LAW: We’ll check up your arse,
And if we find a trace of grass,
Then your conviction will be fair.
VERSE 2
TAXI DRIVER: O, Marquis Blanford, now see what you’ve done,
You’re a convict taking the stand;
You claim you’re hung up, but you should be strung up,
Only language that you’d understand.
CHORUS 2
JAMIE: Meet me in the mansion,
When the Coke is passing through,
They’ll blow the place, to try and crack the case;
THE LAW: Jamie tried to make,
A pile by swiping passing flake,
Once more this Burks Peer’s in disgrace.
I like Meet Me On The Corner – one of my early efforts on the baritone uke too. Here is the original Lindisfarne version with lyrics:
Midnight Train To Georgia is a great song, but it does not lend itself to comedy lyrics. I should have learnt my lesson a couple of years earlier with my “Midnight Plane To Jordan” lyric.
It also wasn’t the best idea to return to the subject of state execution, although my very first success in NewsRevue, “California Here I Go”, was on that subject.
Mercifully, the following lyric, which makes some excellent points but is low on laughs (to say the least), was never used.
ELECTRIC CHAIR IN GEORGIA
(To the Tune of “Midnight Train To Georgia”)
VERSE 1
England proved too much for Ingram {too much for Ingram, he had to leave here},
So he left Old Blighty’s shores decades ago, oh-oh,
{He said he’s goin’} So he went to find a land {went to find a land}
Ohhh-ohhh where the gun cannot be banned,
But in the State’s he’s found, he too can be canned.
CHORUS 1
He’s leavin’ {leavin’} on that midnight chair in Georgia,
{Leavin by electric chair, yeh};
So he’s now about to find {now about to find},
Eye for an eye leaves justice blind,
{If his appeal’s not compliant , his lawyer better find another client}
Are fiends electric? {we know they are}
In electric chairs in Georgia {shocking things, electric chairs, ssshhhwwwiiittt-bang}
He must be desperate as hell {desperate as hell},
Approaching John Major’s kind.
{Poor sod has gone half out of his mind}
VERSE 2
Ingram’s dreamin’ {dreamin’} ohhh that John Major takes his side,
{it’s suicide, but Nick might as well try}
And he’ll soon find out the hard way, dreams don’t always come true,
{Major’s plea may yet come through, pigs fly, Nick’s screwed}
So he’s written to his folks {ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh}
And to law reformer blokes {ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh}
He is mighty eloquent for an irredeemable miscreant,
Oh yes he is, but he’s still fucked.
CHORUS 2
Because he’s leavin’ {leavin’} by electric chair in Georgia,
{Leavin by electric chair, oh yeh}
So he’s goin’ to have some jolts {goin’ to have some jolts}
Of several thousand volts
{If you think that this song is shlock, it’s not as nasty as Nick Ingram’s shock}
He’ll write his story {best seller stuff}
About that ‘lectric chair in Georgia {the royalty’s a static charge, ssshhhwwwiiittt-bang}
If he’d been a football star {with OJ’s charisma}
He’d live despite all his faults.
Trip out with Sunil – went to Galle and saw Dutch museum/shop and market (not much to buy).
Galle laceGalle Market
Then on to Hikkaduwa for ill-fated very choppy coral trip for snorkeling. I felt sick on boat and Jane felt sick in the sea.
That ghastly snorkeling trip really does need to be explained. There were two problems with it. Firstly, it really was too choppy for snorkeling – even very experienced swimmers, who might have been up for the swimming challenge if mad enough, would have agreed that it was simply too choppy to see anything worthwhile with the snorkel.
The second problem was our mad boatman, who seemed especially keen to surf the waves and make the boat trip as “exciting” as possible. I suppose Hikkaduwa is surf territory, but I thought he was truly mad and dangerous. I was so unnerved by him, not least him seeming to turn back for more when we asked him to take us back to the shore, I abandoned the boat and swam for it, to ensure that he followed me back. Probably not the safest idea I have ever had.
Washed and dried off – then on to New Moonbeam restaurant for deviled crab – then look round shops.
Sunil & Daisy, who looks pretty-much revived by the Hikkaduwa crabYes, Ged revives quickly too when there’s Hikkaduwa crab to be had
Went on to turtle hatchery and then home.
Truly out of my comfort zone with a big turtle, although i look surprisingly comfyJanie looks less sure with her albino turtleDaisy gives the baby turtles some sage advice afore they go
Practised snorkeling some more in the pool.
Then went to seafood barbecue in evening – excellent meal .
Part Two of our two-part photo album for this Sri Lanka trip can be viewed through the flickr link below – there are 75 photos therein:
Real gluttons for photo punishment can see raw scans of all 430 photos we took unedited and unlabelled here:
Each pair bought something. I got rubies for mum and dad’s ruby wedding. Saw mines and crude manufacture
I think the merchants were pretty honest ones. Of course the gems were not rubies – not in that part of the world, but they were pink sapphires, which are still precious and I didn’t pay all that much for them. They made a very nice gift when made up into an anniversary ring for mum later that year.
Lunch at Ramonas – gambas and tuna. Lazed around pool and in sea for rest of day.
The Triton looked lovely at twilight
Light supper in coffee shop in evening.
Part Two of our two-part photo album for this Sri Lanka trip can be viewed through the flickr link below – there are 75 photos therein:
Real gluttons for photo punishment can see raw scans of all 430 photos we took unedited and unlabelled here:
We did more sea swimming that holiday than usual, for some reason. I think it was a very gentle sea at that beach…or perhaps I was a bit more crazy back then. Janie will have won consistently at ping-pong – she usually does. I remember the cashews around the pool being/seeming especially yummy.
Planned outings with Don and Zila…
Janie might remember this aspect better than me. They were a couple from our trip and the only other couple who went on to the Triton. I think in the end we only did the one trip with them – the next day to see gems etc. I don’t think they were as keen on doing stuff through Sunil/Ramonas as we were – but more on that as the next few days unfold.
…went into village for water and watched cricket…
I can only apologise to my cricket mates but there are no photos of the cricket. I suspect that we went into the village on our errands without cameras – otherwise there’d be photos.
…went to barbecue and fashion show in evening.
I don’t think the fashion show floated my boat much, but Janie took a few snaps
Part Two of our two-part photo album for this Sri Lanka trip can be viewed through the flickr link below – there are 75 photos therein:
Real gluttons for photo punishment can see raw scans of all 430 photos we took unedited and unlabelled here:
Rose early for a drive round the coast to our hotel. Beautiful sea views plus coconut shell rope makers…
She looks relaxed…
…and stilt fisherman.
…whereas he looks less comfy
Farewell lunch just outside Galle, then into Galle for a look round Church & fort etc.
Galle
Then on to gem, lace etc. factory and goodbye to tour.
Gem making……lace making…I SO was not going to miss this type of touring
Then on to Triton hotel (very tired) – unpacked, swam, changed, hot drink and flambé supper at supper club (very good) and to bed.
Free at last! Yes, Janie was especially taken with that flambé supper option at the Triton (now renamed the Heritance Ahungalla), I think we did it several times while we were there.
Part Two of our two-part photo album for this Sri Lanka trip can be viewed through the flickr link below – there are 75 photos therein:
Real gluttons for photo punishment can see raw scans of all 430 photos we took unedited and unlabelled here:
