Category: Cricket

Work Rest and Play described by Dumbo, King Cricket Report, 12 August 2015

My deal with King Cricket is basically that I write what I want, when I want. The reciprocal part of the deal is that he’ll publish what he wants (almost all of it) when he wants (perhaps months or years later).

So it is often a pleasant surprise when one of my older pieces pops up out of the blue, as this one did on 9 January 2017, to remind me what I was up to back on 12 August 2015 – click here to read the King Cricket piece.

Just in case anything ever happens to King Cricket, I have scraped the above page – to here.

Dumbo, my normally law-abiding Suzuki Jimny (although he does think that he is a horse) tells this tale.

Picture from one of Dumbo’s other adventures, on a day which did not go quite so well.

This piece was, for Dumbo, the conclusion of a small build (through several adventures) towards him getting inside Lord’s and actually seeing the ground.

…so the 12 August 2015 net visit evening proved most exciting for Dumbo, as he actually did make it into Lord’s – click here to go straight to the King Cricket piece.

One of the ironies of all this, of course, is that Dumbo has subsequently become a regular visitor to Lord’s Cricket Ground, when I visit Middlesex CCC for meetings and/or the real tennis court. On quieter days, Dumbo sometimes even gets to park with a view of the hallowed turf itself. On such days, I think I detect Dumbo getting quite dewey-windscreened.

Still, nothing a short blast of air conditioning can’t put right.

 

The Day I Didn’t Go To Cricket With Paul Deacon, I Watched TV For Several Hours Instead, 6 August 2015

It’s strange how we sometimes don’t connect two things that have happened. Or in this case, connect one thing that didn’t happen with another thing that did happen.

Stumbling across my diary entry for Thursday 6 August 2015, I see a line through the day (which means that I had booked a day’s leave) and then the following notes:

E v A @ Trent 1, Notts @ Lord’s, Paul Deacon.

Ah yes. Paul Deacon…

Visiting Record & Tape Exchange With Paul Deacon, 29 April 1978

…my old school pal who relocated to Canada with his family a few years ago now, was over for a few weeks. We had hatched a plan to meet at Lord’s that day. Paul enjoys a bit of cricket and “the girls” (Christine & Anya) liked the idea of some shopping in Central London during those hours.

Then we learnt that the threatened tube strikes for that day were indeed going ahead. We exchanged some notes the day before about trains and buses, but in the end the Deacons very sensibly decided to steer clear of Central London on a strike day.

In truth, I am not wild about 50 over cricket. Great as a day out with a friend, but I certainly didn’t feel motivated to trek to Lord’s on my tod to see that game. No.

And there was an Ashes Test match due to start the same day. So I decided instead that I’d stay home, get a bit ahead of myself with work and stuff. Oh, and of course keep at least half an eye on the test match.

So I plonked myself in front of the TV to watch the first ball of this match – click here.

This now famous utter routing of Australia became compelling viewing within 5 minutes and I basically didn’t move from the TV for a couple of hours until the lunch interval. That is not normal cricket viewing behaviour for me.

King Cricket had preambled the day’s play with a moan fest about Jimmy Anderson’s absence, which generated some rather interesting comments as the morning unfolded – click here.

King Cricket then attempted a reverse ferret on the day, rapidly reporting the event thus – click here.

Bert, one of King Cricket’s regular readers, correspondents and occasional reporter, provided an epic match report in the KC style, i.e. somehow managing to avoid mentioning the cricket – click here.

So, I had all that fun, instead of traipsing to Lord’s to see this match. If you can be bothered, I mean really don’t feel obliged, but you may, if you really want to see the scorecard, click here.

Thing is, though, from then until today (in December 2016) I had not once made the connection between my availability to see that extraordinary session of Ashes Test match history unfold and the earlier disappointment of having to abandon the proposed trip to Lord’s with Paul.

Therefore not once had I even thought to thank Paul for making his sensible decision to avoid Central London, thus allowing the day to unfold for me as it did.

Until now.

Thanks, Paul.

England v Australia, Third Test, Edgbaston, Days Two and Three, 30 and 31 July 2015

I explained in the preceding entry, about our travel day, that Ivan Meagreheart (my smart phone) wrote the Edgbaston Test match reports for King Cricket in 2015.

England v Australia at Edgbaston Test – day one match report

Ivan The Smart Phone Reporting
Ivan The Smart Phone Reporting

This is a link to Ivan’s Day Two match report, which was published by King Cricket on 22 June 2016.

England v Australia at Edgbaston – day two match report

Just in case anything ever happens to King Cricket, here is a scrape of that day two report.

This is a link to Ivan’s Day Three match report, which was published by King Cricket on 11 July 2016.

England v Australia at Edgbaston – day three match report

Just in case anything ever happens to King Cricket, here is a scrape of that day three report.

I couldn’t have put this stuff better myself…

…no, really…

…so I think I should simply let Ivan tell the tale.

A link to the scorecard might help demystify the material for the less well-informed reader – here.

Everybody loves a happy ending.

England v Australia, Third Test, Edgbaston, Day One, Travelling Not Watching, 29 July 2015

We didn’t attend Day One of the Edgbaston test on this occasion, as the test started on a Wednesday. We booked our traditional Heavy Rollers Thursday and Friday at Edgbaston.

With the benefit of hindsight, it would have been great to have booked Wednesday through Friday, but you can’t have everything.

Ivan The Smart Phone Reporting
Ivan Meagreheart The Smart Phone Reporting

 

Ivan Meagreheart, my smart phone, took up the King Cricket reporting duties for the whole of this Edgbaston adventure. In June 2016 King Cricket published Ivan’s report on our travelling day, Day One, here.

England v Australia at Edgbaston Test – day one match report

Just in case anything ever happens to King Cricket, here is a scrape of his report.

Ivan summed it up very well, I don’t think I could possibly improve on Ivan’s piece.

Z/Yen Outing To See Middlesex v Surrey T20 at Lord’s, 23 July 2015

Our now traditional Z/Yen outing to see the Middlesex v Surrey T20 fixture at Lord’s.

We had a few late dropouts this year which allowed us the opportunity to treat some other people; Mark Duff, Sebastian Yeandle, Clive Hyman and Niclas Ljungberg to name a few.

We did the usual “everyone chip in to a picnic” thing; I was in the office that afternoon, so went round the supermarket with Linda to ensure we had good food coverage.

I recall that Sebastian was keen to see round the pavilion, so came suited and booted for that purpose – I took him round during the break between innings and showed him some cricket from the Long Room at the start of Surrey’s reply. We saw several wickets fall but, because of our Long Room location, we didn’t see Nick Gubbins ignominious tumble, failing to celebrate a catch – click here.

Niclas Ljungberg is but one of a long line of people from non-cricket playing countries whom we have tried and mostly failed to get into cricket.

Niclas, with typical Swedish politeness yet directness, wrote the following in his thank you note:

Many thanks for hosting the picnic at Lord’s yesterday, and for the enjoyable combination of plenty good food and introductory sports education.

Mark for some reason still seems to think this is a superior form of athletic activity to cross country skiing, I guess he just hasn’t quite seen the Northern light yet.

For those, like me, of the Middlesex persuasion, the important bit was that the ground was heaving with people and they saw Middlesex play really well on this occasion – click here for the scorecard.

 

A Net At Lord’s After Dumbo Nearly Gets Into Trouble, As Reported By Dumbo on King Cricket, 22 July 2015

King Cricket published Dumbo’s report of almost surreal happenings on the way to Lord’s, click here.

My conversation with the police and Dumbo’s paranoia combined makes Kafka read like a level-headed guy’s straightforward narrative.

An irony of all this, as I write this up for Ogblog some nine months after the event, is that Dumbo is now a surprisingly regular feature at Lord’s, what with the Middlesex strategy (work) and real tennis (rest and play).

Was-It-Because-Im-Black
Was It Because I’m Black?

For collectors of the Dumbo pieces (there must be loads of you out there – don’t be shy about it), this is Dumbo’s third report; the previous two in reverse order are:

Dumbo fans can also rest assured that this piece is not the last word from Dumbo; there are two more 2015 pieces by Dumbo which will be Ogblogged once King Cricket has done his worst with them.

England v Australia Day 3 at Lord’s, King Cricket Report, 18 July 2015

Janie and I (or should I say Ged and Daisy) went to the Saturday of the Lord’s Ashes test in 2015.

My King Cricket match report linked here, describing our day, was published on King Cricket nine months after the event. That fact is in no way a criticism of King Cricket. My “deal” with him is that I write these quirky pieces when and if I darn well feel like it; he publishes them when and if he darn well feels like it.

This was the first of mine published on King Cricket for some time, as I am reliably informed that some big piece of cricket news has reliably turned up in the past few months whenever King Cricket has been about to reach for my pile of unpublished articles. As it turned out, a few minutes after King Cricket published this piece on 18 April 2016, a big story indeed broke. Rob Key (one of King Cricket’s favourite players) retired. Having just published mine, that at least enabled King Cricket (aka Alex Bowden) to concentrate on writing a wonderful tribute to Rob Key, published on Cricinfo – click link here.

But back to my report on Day 3 of the Ashes test at Lord’s – click here if you didn’t click to see the report above.  This piece is, in a way, the third part of a trilogy.  It builds on a couple of earlier pieces about Ged and Daisy encountering Mr Johnny Friendly, an MCC member, friend of the family and real tennis enthusiast. In reverse order:

  •  the one linked here – Anyone For Real Tennis describes the Sunday of the New Zealand Test (24 May 2015) is the direct prequel to the Day 3 Ashes report;
  • England v Sri Lanka Day 3 (14 June 2014) – linked here describes a similar encounter with Mr Johnny Friendly the previous year. I misspelt Jane Austen as Jane Austin in this piece and King Cricket missed the error when he subbed; both of us metaphorically ate our own livers for the error in private, but I decided to milk the pun. Thus this piece inadvertently became the first part of a trilogy.

The irony that I myself have now enthusiastically taken up real tennis in the months between writing this piece and it being published is not wasted on me.

To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:

  • Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
  • King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

If you do want to know about the cricket itself, you might want to have a look at the on-line scorecard – here.  But if you are an England supporter you probably don’t want to look.

 

 

Essex v Australians at Chelmsford, Day 2, 2 July 2015

A day out in Chelmsford, reported upon at length on the King Cricket website.

This season my possessions are taking an increasing role in proceedings, writing many of my King Cricket match reports for me.  Dumbo, the Suzuki Jimny started this trend while we were in Ireland – click here.  Dumbo continued this trend on a half-day out to Uxbridge, linked through this posting here.  There will be more to come from Dumbo, once King Cricket gets around to publishing it.

Ivan The Smart Phone Reporting
Ivan The Smart Phone Reporting

But the report on the Chelmsford day was a first airing for Ivan the Smart Phone, my iPhone 5.  He tells you almost everything you might want to know about that day out, in a rather logical style – here. Indeed there will also be plenty more to come from Ivan.

To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:

  • Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
  • King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

If you do want to know about the cricket itself, you might want to have a look at the on-line scorecard – here.  Essex did rather well the day we went, perhaps foreshadowing problems to come for the Aussies that year, but we really didn’t spot the weakness at the time, that delightful day in Chelmsford.

Middlesex v Worcestershire, Day 2, Uxbridge, 22 June 2015

Pretty much everything worth saying about my afternoon in Uxbridge has been said in the King Cricket Report – click here.

For those readers unaware of the King Cricket rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself.”  

Readers should perhaps also be aware that my nom de plume for King Cricket purposes is Ged and that occasionally my possessions start writing match reports for me.  This one is authored by Dumbo, my Suzuki Jimny.

Indeed by the end of the 2015 season, inanimate objects had pretty much taken over my contributions to King Cricket, as you will no doubt find out come spring 2016 or whenever King Cricket gets around to publishing some of the later ones from the season.  This one was published 13 December 2015.

In case you don’t delve that far into the King Cricket report, the links to the Visa commercials showing old cine footage of my dad slapping on the tanning oil and/or, perhaps even worse, the vine of me and mum on a pedalo, are worth the price of admission to this blog alone.

Mind you, this blog is free.  As is King Cricket, which I also commend to you.

 

An Impromptu Evening At Lord’s, Middlesex v Hampshire T20, plus a Quick Dinner At Crocker’s Folly, 18 June 2015

I was toying with the idea of going to Lord’s that evening, as there was a T20 match, but I hadn’t arranged to meet anyone and those matches don’t tend to make the cut for me these days unless I have made arrangements.

Then, out of the blue, an e-mail from my friend Stephen, aka “Stentor Baritone”:

I arrived back in London last night and hope to go to Lords this evening for the 20/20

Will you be there? And if so would you like a bite with me  at some time ?

Why not? Thus the arrangement was made.

Both of us thought that arriving 30 minutes or so before the start would enable us to secure good pavilion seats but none of it. I texted Stentor:

Heaving – no seats to be found – did you have more luck. I am up on the sun deck.

Within moments the reply:

So am I

…then just a few moments later we spotted each other.

We managed to find reasonable seats in the Upper Allen, near the scene of the crime of the 2009 King Cricket report I linked earlier – here (or below) is the link again.

Middlesex v Lancashire Pro 40 match report

Stentor said he’d been meaning to try the recently refurbished Crocker’s Folly, which I was also keen to try. It is suitably close to Lord’s, so we booked a table from the comfort of the Upper Allen and toddled across at the innings break.

We had a very tasty one course meal at Crocker’s, served with due speed, once we informed Crocker’s that we were at crickers. I kept an eye on the score, within reason, once the game resumed. Stentor very generously insisted on treating me to the meal.

We missed the first 9 or 10 overs of Middlesex’s reply to Hampshire’s quite hefty score, but felt that Middlesex were making a very good fist of it when we returned to our seats at HQ.

But then some wickets fell and the result seemed in little doubt. In any case, Stentor is very much an MCC man, caring for England and good cricket, but not particularly caring for Middlesex, despite being a North-West London man. So Stentor gave up and headed for home after watching for less than 30 minutes after the resumption. I bowed to the inevitable a couple of overs later, to avoid the heave of the exiting crowd. Here’s a link to the scorecard.

Still, an unexpected and very enjoyable evening in NW8, in good company.