Category: Friends and Family Events

Three And A Half Days At Lord’s For The Second Ashes Test, 29 June to 2 July 2023

Opposite the pavilion – it’s the Lord’s equivalent of our Heavy Rollers Edgbaston strategy, where we normally sit as far away from the Eric Hollies Stand as possible

Day Two: Thursday 29 June 2023

I had planned to spend the whole of Days Two and Three at Lord’s, before taking guests on Day Four. As it turned out, following the wonderful trip Janie and I took to Eastbourne earlier in the week, I had a few things to sort out on the Thursday morning and didn’t get to Lord’s until about 2:15, by which time England had started to make a better fist of the match.

More in hope than expectation, I asked the friendly stewards in the pavilion if there was anything going in there. “Not really”, they said, “there might be the odd seat at the Allen Stand end, but you’ll probably get a better seat in the members’ overflow area”. That area was located just beside the sightscreens at the Nursery end, being seats roughly the equivalent to pavilion terrace ones but on the other side.

That seemed like a good idea to me and off I went. The view I achieved is depicted in the headline picture. I made a mental note to head for a similar location the next day without bothering the pavilion stewards.

I also took a selfie.

I chatted a bit with the members around me. A youngish man (by MCC standards) was devouring a whippy ice cream (a 99) when I arrived and soon went off to get a double-whippy (is that one named a 198, my arithmetical mind wonders?). Soon after that, he decided to move elsewhere. During that short period, he shed his membership pass twice – the first time being saved by a kindly gentleman sitting behind him and the second time saved by me. Perhaps it was embarrassment that drove him away.

But others around me were also suitably into the cricket, informed and friendly, making for a pleasant afternoon/early evening.

England were doing well but perhaps I put the kybosh on the team by wandering around to the other side in search of a slightly different view and strategic placement for a swift exit before stumps, as wickets fell just as England seemed to be taking control.

Day Three: Friday 30 June 2023

I did indeed head to the same spot again for Day Three, where there were some different people with whom to share the pain. Mostly members, but a few refugees from public areas where, for one reason or another, they were unhappy with their environment.

A very pleasant visiting couple from Yorkshire shared thoughts about the differences between Lord’s and Headingley. I suspect they had a super time the following week when they went to the third test at their home ground.

The gentleman next to me was from Dorset – although I suspected not originally from there – so it came as a bit of a surprise when it transpired that the “Yorkshireman” turned out to be a Lancastrian by origin, as did the Dorset (yes, a person from Dorset is supposed to be known as “a Dorset”); indeed both from The Fylde with mutual friends from school. Only at Lord’s.

I moved on just before tea, hoping to meet up with Alistair Robson and others from the circle surrounding the Doctors Of Leamington.

Needless to say, the normally thriving Champagne Bar was dead quiet in the absence of tennis this year.

After failing to find Alistair about 10 minutes into the tea break, I thought I might find a seat in the pavilion for the final session, which indeed I did. A gentleman from “Death Row” had the good manners to announce that he was going home at tea time, so I took root on his seat, reducing the average age on that row by some significant amount, I shouldn’t wonder. It was nice to see some Ashes cricket from there without actually joining the death row cohort just yet.

Janie joined me at the flat for the later part of the evening and a Four Seasons Chinese meal, as we had both eaten sparsely earlier that day.

Day Four: Saturday 1 July 2023, With Janie, Ian Theodoreson and Sally

The Warner Stand Mezzanine

Last season’s visit to Lord’s with Ian and Sally for the ODI had proved a great success…

Three Cricket Watching Visits To Lord’s In A Week, 14 to 21 July 2022

…so I was delighted when I learnt that there were some wheelchair access places still available for the Saturday, which was the day Janie was joining me and is a day that makes parking a whole lot easier in Ian and Sally’s…indeed everybody’s…circumstances.

Game on.

I was on picnic duty and had ordered bagels from Papa Joe (Haminados), which meant an early start and a pleasing constitutional before driving to Maida Vale for Lord’s.

Janie and I got to Lord’s a bit earlier than Ian and Sally, just to make sure the arrangements were in place, but we needn’t have worried. As one of the stewards on that level explained, “we never quite know exactly how many people are going to want to sit with each wheelchair guest, but we always find a way”.

Ian and Sally appeared to know more people there that day than we did, although we did run in to Alan and Alex Curtis.

The cricket was a mixture of enthralling and baffling at times; mostly the former.

Me and Ian enthralled. Sally resting her eyes ever so slightly.

As always with such occasions, the day flew by. England were in a poor position at the start of the day, then an improved one, then by the end of the day a poor one again. But England still had a chance.

Day Five: Sunday 2 July 2023

Ian Ward interviewing the wounded (Nathan) Lyon

At the end of Day two, I realised the game was likely to spill into the fifth day, so took the precaution of securing a guest seat for Janie, so we could see the end of the match.

We headed for the Lower Tavern (not to be confused with the Tavern Concourse, which was out of bounds to members). Very happy with our seats, we were.

Before the start of play, we chatted with Westy and Brigitte who were seated nearby. Also John Franklin (from Moreton) and his family.

A very different vibe to the crowd on Day Five. We had some younger people sitting around us, plus an older Bajan gentleman named Charles whose face I recognised but with whom I had not spoken before. We chatted with him quite a lot throughout the remainder of the match, as did the young fellows sitting next to him.

The young fellows, along with most of the crowd, were pretty vocal once Jonny Bairstow was out by a form of stumping that many, me included, consider an unsporting (albeit legitimate) mode of dismissal.

Then, once Ben Stokes unleashed an explosive (although in the event insufficient) attack with the bat, it all got very exciting. On one occasion, the young men behind us crashed into each other while leaping with joy, sending a small shower of wine our way, for which they didn’t stop apologising for the rest of the afternoon. They even wanted to pay our dry cleaning bill – an offer which we declined.

It doesn’t get much wetter…I mean better…than this

Once the foreseeable ending became inevitable, Janie and I made a polite exit to avoid the crush at the gate.

We’d had tremendous entertainment that day – indeed the whole match. So disappointing that England came off second best, but in truth England had performed second best on balance, for more of the match than the Aussies.

Here’s a link to the scorecard and all the Cricinfo resources.

A very memorable few days, that’s for sure.

Dinner At Pahli Hill Bandra Bhai With John & Mandy White, 23 June 2023

The plan was for me, John, Janie and Mandy to meet up with Pady Jalali, the latter visiting from the USA, for an evening meal. John, Pady and I were three of the four Keele Students’ Union sabbaticals in 1984/85.

Pady Jalali when I last visited her in the USA…a few years ago

But plans sometimes go awry and Pady had to postpone her visit to England due to injury.

Still, Janie and I had gone to all of that trouble to research a suitable restaurant…

…and we very much enjoy getting together with John & Mandy anyway…

…so the evening went ahead.

What a great place Pahli Hill Bandra Bhai turns out to be. Great food, fabulous service and excellent ambiance. Just what we like.

This is the Trip Advisor link to Pahli Hill Bandra Bhai.

Janie captures us preparing to insert crab into mangalore buns

John has a sneaky glug of wine while the rest of us admire the enormous dosa

Pontificating Nicaragua or discussing the bill? You, dear reader, may decide.

We took loads of photographs of one meal. I have more photos from this one meal than I have from the whole of my time at Keele. C’est la vie.

Here and below is a link to all the photos.

We hope Pady will be able to reschedule her visit in the not too distant future, which will give us an excuse/opportunity to do something like this again soon.

The Heavy Rollers Do The Ashes Test At Edgbaston, 15 to 17 June 2023

Unfortunately Charley The Gent could not join us this year, so we added a late substitute to the group of five – Jonny “Twophones” Hurst, a friend of mine from NewsRevue. As part of his initiation into the Heavy Roller clan, Jonny & I spent some hours together during the Ireland test match a couple of weeks earlier.

The other four of us were me, Daisy, Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks and Harish “Harsha Ghoble” Gohil.

But before all of that, my now traditional stop off in Leamington for some medicinal tennis with the good doctors of that town.

Not just tennis, but a very pleasant lunch, after a very entertaining tennis match that was a close-fought affair. Five of us (four players plus Janie) sat down and the time flew by, such that I started to worry that we’d get no food and/or be late for dinner.

By the time Janie and I had done the picnic shopping, located our lovely digs in Moseley and unpacked, it was more or less time to meet Harish and Nigel for dinner. (Jonny chose to join us at the ground the next morning).

We went to our now traditional (since Nigel and I discovered the place in 2016), excellent Persian restaurant, Colbeh, on the Hagley Road.

Yum.

Friday 16 June 2023 – Day One

Early start for me as there was a picnic to pull together. Then a 25 minute stroll to the ground for me and Daisy. Bit of a queue, but not too bad at 10:15. We guessed that 5 or 10 minutes earlier the next day would be easier yet. We were right.

Daisy enjoyed photographing the pre match hullabaloo and our reaction to it.

Daisy also likes to photograph people behind the Eric Hollies Stand. Those people don’t seem to mind.

Who knew that Lord Farquaad and Princess Fiona were test cricket fans?

The weather was glorious and the cricket was captivating throughout our time at Edgbaston – indeed the whole match was a cracker.

We were all exhausted at the end of Day One, so went back to our respective diggings and regrouped the next morning.

Saturday 17 June 2023 – Day Two

Daisy took some more pictures during the lunch interval of Day Two.

She also persuaded our mystery lunchtime visitor to take a picture of us…

…then Ged took a picture of the mystery visitor with the Nigel, Daisy and Harish. All the while, Jonny Twophones was off on some mystery mission of his own.

Sam, who was said “mystery guest” wrote up his (apparently) terrifying experience on King Cricket, linked here and below:

Meeting people is easy – an Edgbaston 2023 match report

In the matter of having a picture of all five of us rollers, Harish put matters right, photographically, with the following five-face selfie – very deft:

You can see all the photos on Flickr by clicking here or below.

The whole match really was a cracker, you can read all about it and see the scorecard here.

Of course it was not the same without Chas, but it was still a monumental Heavy Rollers occasion, with great company, good food and amazing cricket, lovely cricket.

A Clubby Week, Mostly At Lord’s For The Ireland Test, Late May To Early June 2023

Jack Leach warming up on Day Three

Tuesday 30 May – A Streatham BBYO Youth Club Reunion At Cafe Pacifico

Waiting for Andrea? Actually this picture from our 2019 gathering at Bill’s

In a minor break with tradition, we gathered at that Mexican institution, Cafe Pacifico, in Covent Garden this year, at Andrea’s excellent suggestion.

In compliance with the strict traditions of our group, Andrea was late. In the modern era, Andrea is able to pre-announce her tardiness by sending a message to everyone explaining why, on this one occasion, she has been delayed. It always feels in keeping with our long-established social mores. If Andrea is ever to be on time I think she should message us to warn us of that – the shock of her timely arrival might be too great for some of our ageing tickers.

Andrea back then

Anyway, it is always worth the wait to see Andrea, just as it is always worth the wait to see everyone from the youth club gang again. We used to gather almost every week, of course – youth clubs tend to be a bit like that.

Time rolls on, but when we gather it feels as though the decades have changed this gang remarkably little. Coincidentally, Cafe Pacifico similarly felt much like the place I remember trying many decades ago; probably because it is little changed.

As always, we had a very enjoyable evening.

Wednesday 31 May – A Redoubtable Bout Of Doubles Tennis At Lord’s

Me & Mr Thirlwell after a previous battle at Lord’s (early 2020)

Our real tennis court at Lord’s has been sequestered by the cricket authorities “for media purposes” during the major matches this year (don’t get me started) so it made obvious sense to have a game the evening before the temporary closure.

Indeed, even without the closure, I realised that it was a personal tradition for me to play the day before an Ireland test at Lord’s – I have now done so every time such a test has ever been held throughout history (both times):

The Week That Ireland Came To Lord’s, 23 to 26 July 2019

This time it was a ninety minute doubles helping to warm up my friends Andrew Hinds and John Thirlwell who are partnering each other in the in-house tournament. We had a three-set epic, which my partner, Bill, and I managed to take at the very last gasp in a decider, having been one-set-all, five-games-all.

Great fun and a good battle.

Thursday 1 June – England v Ireland Day One At Lord’s

Pavilion View

I went to the gym to get a bit of exercise ahead of the excesses of a few days at Lord’s. I togged up for the pavilion and enjoyed 30-40 minutes of cricket from there before lunch, chatting with Nick Brown from Dulwich College, exchanging interesting thoughts and word on our respective initiatives on community participation cricket.

After lunch, it seemed if anything to get colder in the pavilion. Then the sun came out and I realised that the pavilion would warm up slowly, whereas I might warm up more quickly in one of my favoured sunny spots in the Tavern Stand – if I could get there before the stampede from the chilly Pavilion and Warner.

Made it. No sweat. It was still quite cold, even in the sun, so no sweat.

I watched and read a bit, interrupted only by the arrival of Sidney Yankson & his entourage – I was inadvertently sitting behind their chosen patch. Sidney is one of my real tennis pals, whom I first met when he organised a match between the MCC and Honourable Artillery Company five years ago.

Big Match Weekend At Lord’s Part One: MCC v HAC Real Tennis Match, 21 July 2017

Mid afternoon I received a message from Jonny “Twophones” Hurst to say that he had a spare seat in the Compton Lower and was wondering whether I would care to join him and his mate, Huge Morg. Who could say no to such an invitation.

Jonny Twophones & Huge Morg

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching cricket and nattering…which is not exactly an unusual combination of pastimes when a Lord’s.

All very enjoyable.

Friday 2 June – England v Ireland Day Two With Awesome Simo

I decided to get to Lord’s well early to secure good Tavern Stand seats for me and Simon Jacobs. I figured that the previous day’s good weather and the sunny start would make the Tavern Stand very popular, which it did.

Despite being on picnic duty which included some hand-made onion bagels from Papa Joseph’s place, I was still early enough to secure a brace of end of block seats in the second row.

Tavern Stand seats with excellent view of Jonny Bairstow’s warm-ups

I also wanted to tell Janie, pictorially, that I had arrived safe, sane & sound

Simon arrived around 11:30, but not before my row had been invaded by several real tennis “stars” in exile from our beloved court with only cricket to watch: Tony Friend, Simon Martin & (latterly) James Coley.

An engineer trying in vain properly to equip a 19th century tennis court for 21st century media.

A day of cricket is always a good opportunity to chew the fat with Simon. Or “a good old chinwag” as one of his local Hammersmith places once suggested as a raison d’être.

A Good Old Chinwag and Dinner With Simon Jacobs, Old Suffolk Punch, 10 January 2017

Unfortunately, much like the chinwag occasion, Simon simply couldn’t help himself in the matter of mentioning the names of despicable politicians, usually just after I had eaten a few mouthfuls of delicious smoked trout bagel or some of my “salad-in-a-cup” morsels. “Cruella” being the cruellest mid-mouthful blurt of the lot.

Still, we managed to get over all that and enjoy a glorious sunny day watching the cricket.

I did so little getting up and walking around on this day that I thought my right leg had utterly gone to sleep when I finally gave up on the day about 15 minutes before stumps – Simon had baled out about 10 minutes earlier. Fortunately the walk to Edgware Road tube brought my leg back to life.

I have no idea why a day of doing more or less nothing is so tiring, but I always feel in need of a long deep sleep after such a day of cricket and achieve same without any difficulty. Some people sleep during the cricket, of course, which is an entirely different matter and not usually my thing.

Saturday 3 June – England v Ireland Day Three With Daisy

We might only be here for six balls

We had no idea what to expect of Day Three. The result was pretty much no longer in doubt, but we wondered whether Ireland might collapse within an hour or make a day of it. They did the latter, very well.

We got to Lord’s well early, mostly to get a decent parking space rather than a decent seat but the early arrival meant that we achieved both.

That allowed us plenty of time to observe the England team warming up and interacting with the crowd.

Josh Tongue

Matty Potts

Chris Woakes

Chris & Ollie

We need help to identify these three. Any ideas?

Early morning autograph hunters

We did a bit of strolling around but mostly watched the cricket during the hours of play and chose to stroll during the lunch interval. The place was busy but not heaving on Day Three.

Daisy’s mum, The Duchess, seems to be moonlighting as a fast food outlet

I ran into yet another of my real tennis pals, Alastair Robson, during a pit stop, or “in the jacks” as Alastair so politely put it. Janie and I chatted with him for a while before the resumption, although we’ll hopefully have plenty of time to chat with him in Leamington in less than two week’s time on our way to Edgbaston.

The match even went on until tea, during which time, while politely putting away most of our things as the end was clearly nigh, I also did a bit of stretching.

A dedicated follower of fashion at tea

When England took the final wicket we made our escape ahead of the crowds, realising that a lead of 11 runs was not going to take much hunting down.

Here’s a link to the scorecard and other Cricinfo resources on the match.

We’d had a glorious day in the sun…

…I’d had best part of three such days.

Not the most competitive match ever but a very enjoyable few days at Lord’s.

Blooming Heck I Was Out A Lot That Week, 23 to 26 May 2023

Thanks to David Wellbrook for the above picture of me, him & Rohan Candappa

Tuesday 23 May – Brasserie Zédel With Wellbrook & Candappa

I’ve known Rohan Candappa & David Wellbrook for very nearly 50 years now. Rohan is very good at keeping in touch and occasionally just saying, “let’s meet” and/or “there’s something I want to chat through with you fellas”.

We responded to the call. David booked Brasserie Zédel, a favourite place of his. As it happens, I had wanted to try the place for some time, ever since I discovered that my grandfather, Lew Marcus, worked there for decades as a barber in the Regent Palace Hotel, rising to the giddy heights of manager I am told:

Turn It Up To Max & Spit: The Baltic Origins Of My Mother’s (Marcus) Family Revealed

Lew’s older brother Max no doubt played music there on occasions, although David de Groot’s Piccadilly Hotel Orchestra was his main gig.

The interior is like an Art Deco fantasy. Here’s a link to someone else’s photo of the glitz.

Anyway, we were there to chew the fat, catch up and the like. I think I have persuaded Rohan and David to provide some “Fifty Years Ago” reflections on the opening overs of our Alleyn’s School career, as I remember so little about the very early days and didn’t start my diary until January 1974.

Rohan wanted to discuss his thoughts on positive proposals following his extensive fundraising around mental health, not least reframing the language used around that subject.

It became a little difficult to have profound conversation once the jazz trio got started. With two of them sporting flat caps, I thought they might name themselves “Jazz & Dave”.

Always good to catch up with those two. Good food & drink at that place too.

Wednesday 24 May – Kapara With John White

My turn to choose, John’s turn to pay. I Googled for new restaurants that are getting rave reviews and soon landed on Kapara, ironically located just across the way from the slightly crazy Manette Street Shule where my father’s family hung out in the 1920s.

The Only Known Relic Of Grandpa Harris Reaches Its Hundredth Birthday, October 2022

The service was sweet and attentive (apart from one lad who kept approaching our table with other table’s dishes) and the food excellent.

They are big on small plates there, which made the tasting menu a sensible way to try the place out.

This is a link to a similar set menu to the one we ate. Ours had bream rather than snapper and didn’t have the soup.

Always great to catch up with John – it had been a while so we had a bit of catching up to do. But we shall be seeing each other again within the month, along with “the girls” and Pady. Part of our catching up comprised planning that gathering.

Thursday 25 May – Lord’s For Sunrisers v South East Stars & Middlesex v Surrey, With Janie

Cullen Bowls To The Curran Brothers

Our plan, which more or less worked, was to get to Lord’s around 15:00 and watch as much of the double-header as took our fancy. The weather smiled on us, for sure, so we took root in Janie’s favourite place, the pavilion sun deck.

In truth, the afternoon women’s game, between the Sunrisers and South East Stars, was somewhat of a damp squib, both in terms of the cricket and also the atmosphere…or lack thereof. Midweek afternoon games work great when youngsters are off school. In term time, the timing virtually guaranteed a tiny crowd before the evening.

A reasonable number of member stalwarts (MCC and MCCC) turned up for both matches, but there was almost no atmosphere for the women’s match, which is a shame.

There was a decent (but not full) crowd for the Middlesex v Surrey fixture.

Anyway, we were enjoying ourselves. But the Surrey score batting first seemed high and the chill of the evening was starting to tell, so we decided to go home and watch the almost inevitable ending of the match on TV.

You probably don’t want to see the scorecards but here they are anyway:

Sunrisers v South East Stars

Middlesex v Surrey

Friday 26 May – Dedanists v Jesters At The Queen’s Club

I was delighted to be selected again to represent The Dedanists in this absolutely crucial real tennis fixture with The Jesters.

If anyone from Alleyn’s School is still reading at this juncture, you might be interested to know that the very first Jesters fixture was in late 1928 – a Rugby Fives match between the nascent Jesters and Alleyn Old Boys.

Actually, in truth, this is one of those fixtures where half the people playing are members of both clubs and half the time it’s hard to work out who is representing which club. Indeed on this occasion I found myself (together with Simon Cripps) playing for the Dedanists but playing against our team captain, Martin Village, who paired up with Anton Eisdell.

I’m glad to say I managed to maintain a winning streak in the matter of match play in Dedanists fixtures at Queen’s, having recently lost my Lowenthal Trophy crown there to, amongst others, Mr Eisdell. The piece linked here and below also describes this Jesters fixture from last year.

Finally…Unprecedented Success At Tennis, The Queen’s Club, 11 May & 27 May 2022

It was a thoroughly delightful afternoon and evening – my first (but hopefully not last) opportunity to partner Simon Cripps – who kept getting me out of trouble and who in truth was the key to our success as a pair. Also an opportunity to meet and chat with lots of delightful and interesting people.

It also gave me the opportunity to check up on the progress of the seats I have booked for me and Janie to enjoy the Wednesday of Queen’s this year.

Ah yes, coming on nicely.

Dumbo’s Near Death Experience, Early May, 2023

Daisy comforts Dumbo who thinks he’s being taken to The Scrubbs (behind)

Dumbo The Suzuki Jimny had been a bit under the weather ever since his visit to Sussex in March with an unbalanced new tyre:

A Long Weekend In Sussex, Using A Petworth v Dedanists Tennis Match As The Excuse, 25 to 28 March 2023

The garage couldn’t find anything wrong with him, but he felt a bit sluggish, especially when attempting to drive uphill.

Dumbo’s Adventures In Essex, 2 May 2023

I had arranged to have a couple of practice games with my doubles partner Howard, ahead of the Dedanists’ Trophy this year. One was at Lord’s in April, the second we arranged at Howard’s home court, Prested Hall in Essex.

Noddyland sunset with Dumbo just visible in the foreground

Did the above stunning sunset outside our window foreshadow trouble soon to come? No.

However, almost as soon as I got going at pace in the direction of Prested, Dumbo’s amber hazard light came on and I sensed the sluggishness above 50 mph. By that time I was committed to the M25 route, on which going above 50-60 mph is rarely an option anyway.

A good game of real tennis doubles with a really friendly bunch of people. Then after coffee and a bun, I set off on a Byrd watching trail.

Ingatestone Hall (closed on a Tuesday)

First stop, Ingatestone Hall, but I had picked the wrong day of the week. A large coach outside with a waiting driver suggested that some pilgrims had managed a private view that day. The place was the home of the Petre family. Sir William Petre even has his own Byrd Pavan & Galliard.

Just a few miles down the road, Stondon Massey, where William Byrd lived. I took some refreshments in the pub and got my bearings – then drove on to the 12th Century Church where Byrd was almost certainly laid to rest.

Hey – are you looking at my Byrd?

I decided to limp home on A-roads and the North Circular rather than risk Dumbo on the M25, although by the time I had filled up with petrol the amber light had gone off and Dumbo seemed less sluggish.

Interim Verdict On Dumbo – Nothing To See Here, 3 May 2023

Dumbo seemed fine taking me and Janie to Boston Manor to play modern tennis.

Well played, Dumbo

We took him in to see Derek at Smallbills who surmised that the amber warning light was probably a falsey, as it rectified itself. This seemed logical.

Next Day, Absolutely Fine Until…

I headed off to Lord’s the next day for a short lesson and game of real tennis. All seemed fine with Dumbo until I turned onto the A40 at Gypsy Corner, at which point, in the middle lane, Dumbo decided that 5mph was his absolute maximum.

There are times of day when 5mph on the A40 would be just fine. This wasn’t one of those times. The road was not so busy as to keep the traffic at a snail’s pace, but busy enough to make my predicament hair-raising. I had the presence of mind to put my hazards on and quite quickly managed to get into the slow lane. I also worked out that, unless I stopped completely, I should limp to Savoy Circus and turn off at Old Oak Common Lane, from whence I could hopefully limp onto Du Cane Road and take stock there.

Taking stock basically comprised paying for Dumbo to park for the rest of the day and going about my planned business for a few hours by Uber.

Picture produced in collaboration with Dall-E

Dall-E’s image choices for my description reminds me that the situation could have been much worse. Also reminds me that I should have specified “Black Suzuki Jimny”.

Mr Uber got me to Lord’s and on court just five minutes late and I had a good game after my short lesson. My friend Bill, who is a fellow Ealingista, kindly gave me a lift back to Dumbo, from whence I phoned the AA, grabbed some refreshments from the local cafe and waited.

The AA app repeatedly told me that someone would be with me in 40 minutes…for about an hour.

An Impromptu London Cricket Trust Inspection On Wormwood Scrubbs

There is an adage that, in London, you are never more than 10 feet away from a rat. This adage is almost certainly untrue. But, in similar vein, I started to wonder whether you are never more than 10 minutes walk from a London Cricket Trust (LCT) cricket facility.

My trusty smart phone confirmed my suspicions – indeed I was only 10 minutes walk away from the non-turf pitch we (LCT) installed on Wormwood Scrubbs a couple of years ago.

With a 40 minute wait still showing on my app and a yearning to stretch my legs and see a cricket pitch, I strode away from Dumbo, walked the length of the Scrubbs and inspected the pitch.

The Scrubbs was very quiet around 5:30 pm

Then back to Dumbo and a few minutes later a nice AA chap named Mathew who concluded that Dumbo would need the full recovery treatment. Daisy was on standby to recover me and take me back to the house where we awaited the call from the recovery vehicle man. It was about 10:00 when we got that call.

Janie reassures Dumbo despite Wormwood Scrubbs Nick in the background

Dumbo was very scared when he was being hauled onto the recovery vehicle. I think he imagined that he was in trouble and being taken to Wormwood Scrubbs nick. (Dumbo does have some previous, albeit misunderstandings, with the law).

A Net At Lord’s After Dumbo Nearly Gets Into Trouble, As Reported By Dumbo on King Cricket, 22 July 2015

In truth Dumbo was being taken back to Smallbills, who had been forewarned to expect to find him outside their gates in the morning.

Dumbo Redux, Queen’s & Cityland, 10 & 11 May 2023

Coincidentally, word reached me that Dumbo was all better when I was at Queen’s, playing in the tournament for which I had been preparing on those ill-fated trips.

“A completely collapsed cat” apparently, but no animals were hurt in the repairing of Dumbo. A relief that the problem was readily identifiable and entirely fixable.

It was a day of coincidences at Queen’s. It’s a wonderful thing that e-tickets can be supplied to you through the ether wherever in the world you might be. Janie’s and my tickets for the Wednesday of Queen’s came through to me while I was at Queen’s.

I thought I’d pop outside to take a look at my seats, but, like a 1970s hotel in Spain, my seats were still work in progress.

Come the day they’ll be lovely.

The next day, I rescued Dumbo in the morning. The whole street must have wanted to welcome him home, because for the first time in as long as I can remember, the parking space outside my “Cityland” residence was waiting for him.

Sluggish no more – please keep going, Dumbo.

Are You Shaw I Went Wilde With Excitement?: Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Spaghetti House, 27 April 2023

Eight of us gathered for one of our periodic NewsRevue alum evenings at the Holborn Spaghetti House.

There were no controversial shortages of certain dishes this time, but there was an especially irritable waiter who seemed to decide that I am an idiot, perhaps because I turned up a little late and didn’t want to partake of the Prosecco and sparkling mineral water already on the table, but wanted to order my own non-sparkling beverages.

It was good to see everyone – this the first gathering since last Christmas’s one

The 2022 Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Seasonal Dinner, 8 December 2022

Most unusually for me, I prevailed in Colin Stutt’s quiz about the faces/quotes of Irish writers & characters. A lot of informed guesswork in my answers, plus some lucky, uninformed guesswork. But on the whole it seems I can tell Shaw from Wilde, Joyce from Beckett and the like.

I did not fare so well with John’s intriguing game about famous movie stars and the obscure locations from whence they hail.

The next day, John summed up the evening, wonderfully, in his inimitable words:

I am sure you will all be celebrating the 234th anniversary of the Mutiny on the Bounty, which falls today (I know I am) but if I could drag you away from your Tahiti-shaped cupcakes for a moment…

Just wanted to thank you all for turfing yourselves out last night to the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner. I would like to thank Colin for his wonderful Irish-themed quiz. I tried bits of it out on Jenny this morning, because she got herself an Irish passport last year in response to Brexit. One of her grandfathers was Irish, which is enough to make you count as Irish, apparently. Sad to say, she didn’t shine, so her citizenship may be re¬voked. I would like to praise Ian for winning said quiz and Mark for know¬ing the birthplaces of more Hollywood Royalty than anyone need to.

I would like to thank Colin again for the generous touch of the Prosecco and each and every one of you for your warm congratulations on Jenny and I becoming man and wife after all these years. I was very touched.

As I looked around the room, I thought how lucky I was to enjoy the friendship of such erudite, witty and good-hearted men. Such a shame that none of them could be there. You’d like them. And Caroline, I left you off that list cos it spoilt the flow of the joke, not because I’ve forgotten you.

John also summed it up with this picture:

Let Them Eat Cake: Dinner At Jilly’s Place, 18 February 2023

Photo by Janie: Clockwise – Ruth, Daniel, Simon, (Janie’s chair), Me, Jilly.

We don’t go to people’s houses much for dinner any more. We don’t have people round to our house much either.

I guess the dinner party has sort-of gone out of fashion, but it really shouldn’t have done so, as it is a very pleasant way to spend an evening with friends old and new.

I have known Jilly for many decades – since we were youngsters at BBYO. Similarly Simon – in fact I have known Simon for longer than I have known Jilly…and Jilly has known Simon for even longer than that blah blah.

Simon…so sensible back then.

Jilly was even more sensible…and in colour

We were also supposed to be joined by Timothy, but he had somehow managed to get a diary clash, having agreed to accompany Simon’s mum to see András Schiff at The Wig.

Ruth and Daniel are good friends of Jilly’s from the locality, which means Watford and also means that they too have known Jilly for decades…just not as many decades as me and Simon…about as many decades as Janie has known Jilly.

Anyway, point is, it was a really super evening. Jilly made a wonderful meal, with a slightly spicy tomato soup…

…just a week or two later, you’d probably have needed police protection around your house if it became known that you had enough tomatoes for a home made soup…

…followed by a very tasty chicken-based main course…

…followed by Jilly’s pièces de résistance – cake-based deserts. Enough for a small army.

Qu’ils mangent de la brioche…

But of course such evenings are really special, not only for such good food, but also for the delightful company. Thanks, Jilly.

Ged & Daisy Do Crisis 2022, Over Christmas & New Year 2023

Unlike our Covid-protocol-ridden, experience last year…

Santaphobia, Sartorialism, Keele Connections And Several Crises At Christmas, 4 January 2022

…this year’s Crisis at Christmas experience was an unmasked affair.

The “needs must” experiment of using hotels rather than colleges for the residential centres had proved so successful in 2021, Crisis decided to repeat that model in 2022.

Thus Ged and Daisy returned to the “secret location near Hyde Park” where we did our volunteering last year.

Rudolf spotted near that secret location near Hyde Park

A couple of days before our first shift, Daisy was excited to see our actual “secret location” on Breakfast TV:

As in the past, we met some really interesting people over this period while doing our Crisis shifts – both guests and other volunteers.

Interesting characters, neither guests nor volunteers, seen near our location

This time, probably because we were returning to the same centre, we encountered several volunteers and team leaders that we had got to know the previous year, which was pleasing. Even more satisfying was the fact that we saw hardly any of the same faces among the guests, which hopefully helps to confirm the evidence that the majority of guests last year were helped back onto their feet.

Feeling Old – Feeling Useful!

When you get to our age, stuff happens that makes you realise how old you are. For example, the realisation that England cricket’s latest wunderkind, Rehan Ahmed, is younger than my cricket trousers, as reported recently on the King Cricket website:

Six things older than Rehan Ahmed

But when volunteering at Crisis, sometimes our age comes in handy – especially as Daisy and I are as fit and able as most of the youngster volunteers.

On our first shift, Christmas Eve, a late arrival had possibly missed his slot and was at risk of being turned away. Our shift leader asked me and Daisy to look after him and keep him occupied while “Crisis central” tried to resolve the problem and find him a room.

An interesting character, we asked him a bit about his background. He told us he was born and raised in South-East London. Almost the same vintage as me. When I asked him where he went to school, he said, “oh, my school’s not there any more. I was a Billy Biro…”

…”oh yes, I know”, I said, “William Penn. I went to school around there too”.

We went on to discuss the relative merits of The Specials and UB40…the time flew by. He also took the opportunity to wipe the floor with me at chess. Twice. Bernard Rothbart would have been stunned – not so much at my rusty rubbish – but at how good this fella clearly was. Mr Rothbart would have approved of the matching up I did on subsequent shifts to help this guest and others who could play to get some good chess match-ups.

It’s not all serving food, chess and chewing the fat with guests

That “Billy Biro” was one of several really interesting characters we met this year. From some, we learnt how they had fallen on hard, crisis-ridden times. Some chose not to discuss such matters and left us wondering. In all cases, we just hoped that our small contribution would help them back on their feet.

Utilising Our Food Charity Skills

Daisy and I did dinner service a couple of times, utilising our FoodCycle skills, which we have been deploying on communal meals for the last 15 months, to good effect.

Conviviality & Charity, Mostly In Real Life, 20 to 25 September 2021

I particularly enjoyed getting the opportunity to do the washing up (yes really!) in a commercial hotel kitchen, never having had the opportunity to use machines and equipment on that scale before.

Dreaming of washing up

Some of the guests are overwhelmed by the experience of being in a hotel and being looked after by a team of kindly volunteers. One guest almost refused to let me take him to his table and serve him his food, because he felt that “wasn’t right”.

Some find it quite difficult to make a decision along the lines of “vegetarian or non-vegetarian pasta”, one guest seeming almost paralysed by indecision until I suggested that he might like a bit of both. “No thanks, I’ll have the meat please”.

It can be quite a leveller, though. When we were on the coffee stall, one particularly demanding guest came to me for a coffee three times during the 90 minutes or so we were on that duty and complained each time. The first time he complained about the coffee, the second time about the sugar and the third time about the angle from which I poured the milk (left-handed, from a full, large flagon, as I politely and smilingly pointed out). Another guest, when I asked him to repeat his order to be sure to make the coffee to his specification, told me off for not having listened properly the first time.

I was reminded of my father’s favourite put down, usually directed towards a politician of his loathing, that the person in question “couldn’t even run a coffee stall”. In less robust minds than mine and Daisy’s, the experience could induce a crisis of confidence.

But, joking apart, the experience is, on the whole, hugely rewarding and satisfying.

It won’t be the same secret location next year, but of course we plan to return to help Crisis next year; of course we do.

Postscript: Returning To Crisis Sooner Than We Expected

Actually we returned to do a couple of additional part-shifts during the final few days at that location. There were rail strikes on those days so we agreed to cover a few hours over the evening meal surge, utilising our FoodCycle skills.

We saw some of our volunteer colleagues from January last year whom we hadn’t seen earlier in the season, which was nice. It was also good to follow through with some of the guests towards the end of their stay.

The leveller motif was continued and even enhanced though, with one guest who seemed especially keen for me to serve him virtually clicking his fingers in my direction for “service”.

On the other side of that coin though, one guest with whom I had chatted several times over the weeks came up to me to shake my hand as he left after his last evening meal. One other regular, whom I had judged to be painfully shy, quietly said to me as he left the restaurant area on the last evening, “thank you for serving me”.

The 2022 Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Seasonal Dinner, 8 December 2022

With thanks to John Random for several pictures, not least this one: me with Noel Christopher – Caroline is also there, trying to hide in the corner of this picture

Given that Ivan Shakespeare Memorial dinners are principally gatherings of comedy writers, they have not been much of a laughing matter of late, with many of our number having departed permanently. Indeed John Random pondered various re-namings this time:

Ivan Shakespeare Debbie Barham Nick R. Thomas Gerry Goddin Mike Hodd Chris Stanton Memorial Dinner

or

“Ivan to Stanton Memorial Dinner”

Yet plenty of us still survive to dine, chat and play silly quizzes. A dozen or so of us gathered this time.

Random gets busy with his camera phone while Barry looks on and…
…Hugh Ryecroft shows off the new trophy: The Hoddy

Following the departure of Mike Hodd, we toasted our patriarch and played an extra quiz for the above magnificent new trophy: The Hoddy, provided by Mark Keegan, who set the seminal Hoddy Quiz. Professional quiz dude Hugh Ryecroft took that trophy.

Hugh couldn’t win the regular annual Ivan Shakespeare Trophy, as he won it last year and set that quiz this year. Bit of a busman’s holiday for Hugh, setting quizzes for Ivan Shakespeare dinners. Still, it was Keith Wickham who took that magnificent prize, which will no doubt grace his trophy cabinet for most of 2023:

Wickham lands the big one

I was close, but no cigar on both quizzes, in particular one of them on which i only missed out by a couple of points.

But of course all were winners, as it was such a heart-warming and convivial evening, as indeed it always is.

Was that Keith’s classic James Mason impression making me laugh?