Tag: Alan Gorman

My First Flame, c. December 1994

Picture with kind permission of goodfreephotos.com – click here

7 May 2017 – I read the Facebook posting linked here, written by Justin Sutton, an old mate of mine from school, about the song Africa by Toto, which brought to the front of my mind the peculiar story of my first flame.

I don’t mean “my first flame” in the romance sense. Good heavens no. I was over 20 when Africa was released as a single, in my third year at Keele.

No, no, no, I mean my first internet flame.

I started using the internet in the second half of 1994, while setting up Z/Yen, primarily because I/we expected it eventually to be useful for business.

But there wasn’t much going on commercially on the net in those days, so, to get into the swing of using the net, I used it quite extensively for my personal interests. Not least, at that time, subscribing to some Usenet groups that I thought would help me with my development of comedy lyrics, including one where people simply discussed the lyrics of songs.

One correspondent on that lyrics group stated that Africa by Toto was their favourite lyric of all time. That posting made me recall the spring of 1983 and the way that my flatmate, Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman and I would mimic the line

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti,

which at the time we thought might be the most pretentious lyrical line ever, not least because it barely rhymes with “solitary company” and also barely scans the beat of the song. You sort of need to rush through that line like a broadside balladeer or a calypso singer with too much to say and not enough beats in which to say it.

I made these points about Africa by Toto on that Usenet group and then went about my business for the next 12 or perhaps even 24 hours, as was the dial-up method in those days.

When I returned to the group, I had been comprehensively flamed by the Africa-lover. Their beef was only partly a disagreement with my feelings about the lyric, which was understandable. It was primarily a character assassination suggesting that I was not qualified to discuss that lyric, on the basis that I had failed correctly to transcribe the line in question.

That line actually reads, “as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like a lepress above the Serengeti”,

explained the angry song-lover.

In those days, there was no Google or YouTube or Wikipedia or on-line repository of lyrics to turn to. But I couldn’t even work out what a “lepress” might be. Nor why anything other than “Olympus”  might make sense as the simile in question. I even spent a few minutes looking through the dictionary to see if there was a word which had slipped my mind, the feminine form of which might be lepress and make sense in context. The only word I could think of that might take the feminine form “lepress” was “leper”, which didn’t make sense to me in context.

I made these points on the Usenet group and then went about my business for the next 12 or perhaps even 24 hours.

When I returned to the group, I had been even more comprehensively flamed by the Africa-lover.

You know ******* well that a lepress is a female leopard. Don’t be so ******* insulting.

The flamer had also acquired one or two supporters who joined in the flaming, mostly on the grounds that they like the song, a view which I find fair and with which I have some sympathy. I also sort-of like the song; it’s just that one line that has always grated on me and was the source of our 1983 mirth.

But also, by now, I had acquired quite a few supporters, some of whom were supporting the logic of my specific argument about the lyric, while others were simply arguing that I was entitled to my opinion and that the purpose of the group was, after all, to debate lyrics.

I also received a private message with a plea from one of the group’s moderators, who told me that she felt that I had been unfairly flamed but asked me to post a conciliatory message to try to calm the group down. She was asking me to do this, she said, because she sensed that I was the more likely of the combatants to acquiesce to her request.

I thought about the moderator’s conciliation request, while also consulting my English and American dictionaries, to try to work out what a female leopard might actually be called. “A leopardess”, since you asked. I also listened to Africa by Toto again, just to see if I could detect anything other than “Olympus” in that line.

So I did post a conciliatory note.

I apologised to the original poster for my not liking the Africa lyric as much as they did. I apologised to any females or lepers who had been offended by my attempt to define the mystery word “lepress”. I asserted that the female leopard is a leopardess in both English and American usage. I suggested a compromise lyric, with neither Olympus nor lepress, which might just make sense and satisfy everyone’s sensibilities:

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like a left breast above the Serengeti.

I dialed-in to that group a couple more times over the next day or so to watch the flaming discussion peter out. Then I unsubscribed from that group.

Anyway, here is Africa by Toto with the lyrics shown in all their glory and accuracy on the screen.

What I Did As Keele Education & Welfare Officer In The Summer Holidays Part One: One Or Two Tough Cases, Getting To Know Colleagues, A Short (Unexpectedly Sad) Visit To My Family, Plus, Least Interestingly But Most Importantly, Sorting Out The Filing System, July 1984

The headline image is from Watergate. Keele SU ones looked startlingly similar. Cornellrockey, CC BY-SA 4.0

You want to know more than the headline reveals? Bless you.

Sunday 8 July 1984 – Rose late – Kate came over for lunch (curry) looked into PS&D [Policy Staffing & Development Committee – the main sub-committee of Senate, the latter mostly rubber-stamping recommendations from PS&D] stuff – watched tennis & video. Truda [Smith] came over later – went to union after.

I hope Kate (now Susan) Fricker remembers the magnificence of that curry. In those days, my curry recipe tended to be either mince or chicken, with lots of onion, tomato puree and (luxury item) sultanas. Usually the curry would be based on garam masala or madras spices, with a sauce base of chicken stock. I would sometimes add bhindi (okra) – if I could get hold of them. Patna rice, almost certainly – the budget didn’t stretch to basmati on student grant money. Basic, but tasty.

The tennis on the TV would have been a very short final between John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors. We might also have watched John Lloyd and Wendy Turnbull win the mixed doubles, while preparing for our first major University Committee meeting; PS&D.

I have no recollection of ever having a video machine in the flat – someone must have left it with me for safe-keeping over the summer and I don’t suppose I used it very much.

Kate (Susan) Fricker with Truda Smith in 1985 – thanks Mark Ellicott

Monday, 9 July 1984 – Busyish day – Hayward [Burt] et. al. came to VC’s garden party in early eve – all went back to John’s [White – presumably still in his Barnes flat at that time] and on to union after.

Tuesday, 10 July 1984 – Busy day – meetings [not least that PS&D, presumably] etc – went to union committee afternoon etc. John and Hayward came back for curry ->to Betley boozing.

Wednesday, 11 July 1984 – Busy day at work – worked late – went NSP [North Staffs Poly – presumably to meet their union committee sabbaticals] for lunch. Played tennis with Kate -> McDonald’s – worked late – stayed in bar.

John White recalls us all going out to Betley in someone’s car [Hayward perhaps?] for a booze after dinner. But did we go to the Hand And Trumpet or The Swan Inn? My diary is silent on this and, sadly, John took a sabbatical from diary writing as well as a Union sabbatical that year.

I don’t remember ever playing tennis with Kate, but the diary says that we did, so we did. It almost certainly won’t have been the sort of exhilarating, nail-biting experience I was used to with Alan (Great Yorkshire Pudding) Gorman and I was certainly not yet experienced enough to deploy handicapping to enhance the excitement of a tennis game.

Thursday, 12 July 1984 – Horrid day – [name redacted] theft case took most of the day. Went to Kate’s for dinner – very pleasant evening – late night.

John White remembers that horrid day well, although his angle on it was somewhat different. John heard a kerfuffle by the pigeon-holes and went out to interrupt a ferocious argument between two students, one of whom had caught the other student red-handed stealing his incoming mail from the pigeon-holes. I ended up spending much of the day providing pastoral care, initially to the victim (who was easily placated once the police had been called) and then to both the culprit and the police. Suffice it to say that the culprit’s room was chock-full of evidence that the pigeon-hole incident that had been interrupted was far from a one-off.

I only had a handful of those very difficult and emotionally draining cases during my year – that one was an early baptism of fire.

I didn’t run away to London as a result of that trauma – the week off in Streatham with my family had been planned, although the sad event that occurred while I was with my family was not part of the plan.

We Interrupt This Sabbatical For A Ten Day Break In London

Friday 13 July 1984 – Fairly busy day at office – finished early to travel to London with John – long haul due to strike. Got back late.

Saturday 14 July 1984 – Lazy day – shopped in Streatham – spoke to people – taped etc. Stayed in evening.

Sunday, 15 July 1984 – Lazyish day – went for Indian lunch – went on to visit Grandma Jenny and Uncle Louis. Stayed in evening.

Grandma Jenny, Grandpa Lew & Uncle Louis, late 1930s

Grandma Jenny was my step-grandmother, although you would never have known the “step” element from the amount of care, love and attention I received from her and her (Barst) family. My Grandpa Lew died before I was born. Uncle Louis was Jenny’s brother, my step-great-uncle. Louis was widowed in the early 1980s, soon after which he and Jenny, who were great pals, decided to live out their days together in a flat in Surbiton. Uncle Louis was a really lovely man; I’d be surprised if anyone had a bad word to say about him.

Grandma Jenny, mid 1980s, in the Dolphin Close, Surbiton flat

Monday 16 July 1984 – Lazyish day – Shopped in Streatham etc – met Jimmy {Bateman] for drinks in evening.

Tuesday 17 July 1984 – Went to town late morning – went Annalisa’s [de Mercur] (met her from hospital) [If I recall correctly, Uncle Louis was taken ill and hospitalised just a day or so after our “regular” visit that weekend]. Met Simon [Jacobs] after in afternoon – went home. Stayed in evening.

Wednesday, 18 July 1984 – Lazyish day – did some taping – read etc. – went to Brixton in afternoon – stayed in evening.

Thursday, 19 July 1984 -Heard Uncle Louis died this morning – met Caroline for lunch as arranged, then -> Grandma Jenny for afternoon – met Jilly [Black] for Chinese meal etc. in evening.

Friday, 20 July 1984 – Went to shop with dad – wrote up books – went to funeral – went back with Grandma Jenny afterwards – went home for dinner –> Pam & Michael’s [Harris] in the evening.

Saturday 21 July 1984 -Paul [Deacon] came over in afternoon for a while – had dinner then went over to Andrea’s [Dean] for evening – stayed up late – stopped over [at Bushy House].

Sunday 22 July 1984 – Went back to Streatham quite early – had Italian lunch, then photo sesh, then returned to Keele – went union in evening for drink.

I had been racking my brains to try to work out what “photo sesh” might mean. I wasn’t aware of any pictures of that vintage in mum and dad’s collection. But then, by 1984, dad had become positively reckless in the matter of labelling pictures and/or keeping negatives with prints. A photographer/photographic dealer for pity’s sake. Talk about cobblers’ children.

Anyway, a trawl of the muddle that is the post 1980 photo estate, forty years on, has, unfortunately for the viewer, uncovered this:

I am surely sporting the very finest mid 1980s sportwear that a limited budget could buy in the sales in Streatham High Street back then.

If any readers/viewers have been troubled by this disturbing image, please contact the Ogblog Action Line, where trained trauma counsellors are standing by.

Moving Swiftly On: Back At Keele Sorting Out The Students’ Union – Last Week Of July 1984

Monday 23 July 1984 – Busy day in office – getting backlog of work done – etc. Work till fairly late and went for a drink after work.

Tuesday 24 July 1984 – Busy day today – working on filing system, etc. Annalisa came up – cooked her a meal etc.

Wednesday 25 July 1984 – Very busy day – worked till very late – Annalisa stayed and helped – Kate worked late too.

Annalisa was a great help as well as a very good friend, not only in those early days of the sabbatical but throughout my sabbatical year

Thursday, 26 July 1984 – Still busy with stuff. Annalisa finished her bit and left. Frank [Dillon] and Kate came over for dinner and much booze.

Friday, 27 July 1984 – Extremely busy day today – sorting stuff out for tomorrow etc. Shopped. Worked till late. Stayed up till very late.

Saturday 28 July 1984 – Union committee meeting this morning – dragged on – stayed in office tied up etc – union evening – disco.

That will have been the first time that John White and I DJ’d the Keele SU disco. It was far from the last time. I don’t suppose our efforts were masterful that first time, but they won’t have been bad and there would have been a fair smattering of Motown/Northern Soul involved. More on that topic anon.

Sunday 29 July 1984 – Spent most of the day cooking and lazing around – John, Pady [Jalali] and Kate came over dinner.

Monday, 30 July 1984 – Very rushed today – lots of customers – stayed in office till late and finished files.

Tuesday, 31 July 1984 – Busy day out – Civic offices and union solicitors in the morning. Union committee in afternoon – went Union in evening.

“Went Union in evening” sounds like a busman’s holiday for those of us working there, but we didn’t get out much (other than the Union) that year.

The mention of the visit to solicitors foreshadows the “elephant in the room” from these July diaries, unmentioned but soon to come to a head: the massive problems we inherited from our predecessors regarding the management of, and stock losses from, the several Union bars. The next episode will explain.

Good-Bye To Barnes L54 And All That, Summer 1984

Image borrowed from studentcrowd.com

I spent two of my five years at Keele in Barnes L54, as reported on these pages in several past pieces. I have happy memories of my time there, not least because my time sharing a flat at Keele was the only time in my life that I have flat-shared in that “Home Of Multiple Occupation” sense.

I was really touched when I stumbled across the following letter from the June 1984 edition of Concourse.

In truth I barely remember the four of us deciding to write that letter to Concourse. Part of the motivation was mine, to make a public goodbye to the flat. the other three, after all, were to stay on in the flat after I had departed, with Hayward Burt joining them in my place:

Hayward quite literally in my place: in 1985, Barnes L54 as THAT’S EXACTLY where I used to sit. Thanks Mark Ellicott for the picture.

The references in Concourse to Barnes L54 being a Machiavellian Students’ Union political stronghold mostly emanated from my H Ackgrass column, ably assisted by my spies, three of whom were my flatmates. So the argument is more than a little bit circular and the “gripe” was really an in joke amongst us, not least becuase my identity as H Ackgrass remained a secret for a further year.

The gossip-fest to which I refer was mostly in my third Ackgrass column, although I think there was also at least a mention in the previous column.

H Ackgrass’s Third Column In Concourse, Plus A Carbon Copy Of The Original Submission, May 1984

I have managed to re-engage with the West Country contingent (Chris Spencer and Hayward) as part of my Ogblogging process. Pete Wild seems harder to contact – if anyone out there is in touch with him, I expect he’d enjoy seeing this letter again.

Sadly, Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman died several years ago, having moved to the USA quite soon after graduating. His widow, Susan and sons have been following these Barnes L54 reminiscences and I hope they find this letter as touching as I did. It reads, to me, like mostly Alan’s writing, informed/tweaked by the rest of us. It oozes his sense of humo(u)r.

Moved I was. Physically moved, at the end of August 1984, to a small tutor’s flat in K-Block Horwood. Emotionally moved, by re-finding this letter in that old copy of Concourse, during August 2024.

Post-Finals, Pre-Sabbatical, At Keele & At Large, Part One: Early June 1984

Billy Joel, by Rob Mieremet / Anefo, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

It was a strange yet joyful period, that short interval between completing my finals and graduating, during which time I started work as Education & Welfare Officer for the Student’s Union at Keele.

Bobbie sensibly arranged some post-finals treats and outings for us during that time, plus there were various “goodbye” parties to attend as finalists, while I also had several “hello” receptions to attend as an incoming sabbatical.

This piece covers the week 3 to 9 June 1984 the highlight of which, for me, was a whistle-stop visit to London/Wembley, with Bobbie, to see, amongst other things, Billy Joel at Wembley Arena.

Sunday, 3 June 1984 – Got up fairly early – did little all day – played tennis etc – went to union with Bobbie in eve – Asian Cultural [Society] and drink after.

Monday, 4 June 1984 – Spent most of the day in the E&W [Education & Welfare] office – sorted one or two things out etc – Constitutional Committee in eve – Bobbies for a while.

Tuesday, 5 June 1984 – Spent most of day in E&W office – went to a couple of meetings/committees etc – sorted things – played tennis – went over to Bobby’s in eve – early night.

Wednesday, 6 June 1984- Rose very early – went to London – Chinese lunch, Middle Temple [Bobbie’s chosen Inn of Court], British Museum, light dinner – Wembley for Billy Joel gig – got last train.

That Billy Joel gig was very good and very memorable. It seems he did three nights at Wembley Arena, one of which (the Friday I believe) was broadcast by the BBC in sound and vision, thus recorded for posterity.

Thursday, 7 June 1984 – Got back [from London] late – rose late – shopped – went union – laundry – elections – E&W office. B and I went union in eve (quiet) – came back here.

Friday, 8 June 1984 – spent most of day in union – Sherry with A&C (appointments and counselling). UC (union committee) over “corruption” most of the day – went over Bobbie’s in evening – union etc.

Saturday, 9 June 1984 – Went shopping in morn – Buxton Derbyshire in afternoon – lunch, tea etc – had Chinese meal in Hanley (eve) – went to party in Thorns after – Bobbie came back.

I guess that Union Committee meeting on 8 June was the first wind that I and my fellow incoming UC members had of the serious issues we were to inherit with regard to the bars. I would not now describe it as having been corruption, but that was presumably how it was pitched to us that day. More on that saga will follow in later pieces.

Buxton Derbyshire is a charming place to visit. Calm too – in contrast with the frenetic existence as a sabbatical, which I had chosen to pursue for the next 12 months.

Buxton Derbyshire by Chris Harris, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Never A Cross Word Over The Crossword: Newspaper Habits in Barnes L54, Keele, 1982 To 1984

Livy and let Livy, that was our motto

My series of pieces about my somewhat distracted run up to finals at Keele in 1984 might have given readers the impression that I was doing very little reading and paying little heed to my papers.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Indeed, reflecting on my two happy academic years living in Barnes L54, 1982/83 and 1983/84, I realise that there is an element of that lifestyle that has gone unmentioned in these pieces so far.

The newspapers.

From the outset, we took The Guardian as a flat through our kitty during term time. We also, if I remember correctly, took both The Sunday Times and The Observer on a Sunday.

Everyone in the flat at least dipped into the papers. The main beneficiaries of the paper habit were undoubtedly me and Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman. In part, this is because we probably did more reading and dipping than anyone else, but also because we became addicted to doing The Guardian crossword.

“I’ve done most of it, Bagel Boy, see if you can finish it off”

Quite often, one or other of us would be up earlier, if we had lectures or classes to attend while the other did not. More likely Alan would get to the paper first, as he more often had early classes and I would quite often stay at Bobbie’s and return in the morning. A note, along the lines of the above picture caption, might well be waiting for me in those circumstances.

Sometimes the earliest riser couldn’t get very far and the second-dipper would make most of the progress. The second-dipper’s note might have a more competitive tone to it in those circumstances.

It was an exercise in co-opetition rather than competition, though. Our mission was to complete the crossword between the two of us. We would regularly spend time on the puzzle together to finish it off, perhaps late afternoon or over our evening meal. Quite often we would succeed in completing the puzzle. Only occasionally would we be seriously confounded and fail spectacularly. Fairly often, we would struggle with just one or two clues at the end.

We became familiar with the compilers – some easier than others. Often our nemesis was Araucaria, who was known as a difficult compiler. An example from our era is shown below;

Araucaria May 1984Araucaria May 1984 16 May 1984, Wed The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

In those days, there was no Google or ChatGPT to resort to if we were stuck. We might check the spelling of a word in the dictionary or resort to my trusty copy of Roget’s Thesaurus if desperate, but the clues that confounded us tended to be factual items.

I remember one occasion when we were both struggling to work out where Tanganyika Territory was, to try to resolve a clue. I think Alan might even have ventured to the library to get intelligence on that one and I vaguely recall that the intelligence did not help us solve the clue. That was probably one of Araucaria’s. Forty years later, I have only just learnt the significance of the compiler’s name.

Araucaria araucana (Monkey Puzzle Tree) 
BillyKwiki at the English-language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0

One other vain attempt to solve a sole remaining clue lives clearly in my memory. The clue was something to do with a Roman writer/historian and the answer only required four letters – blank-I-blank-Y. The answer, to spare you the agony that Alan and I went through, was LIVY. But neither of us were familiar with the works of Livy. Indeed, the only four letter word Roman writer either of us could think of was Ovid. I became convinced that Ovid might well have been known as “Vidy” to his friends, after which we explored many different permutations of “blank-I-blank-Y”. We had a good laugh over some of the possibilities we invented. We would advocate a name and then extemporize the tale of this imagined Roman’s character and works.

One or two of the ideas we explored, tongue in cheek, would not pass the political correctness test. The only Roman historian I could think of was Flavius Josephus – who knows how his detractors might have nicknamed him? Alan and I spent an inordinate amount of time and effort coming up with possible answers to this crossword clue, one of which was probably Livy, but we gave that idea no more credence than any other permutation we could invent.

“Maybe you had to be there”

Finally Finals Finished: How Lowe Can You Stoop?… Or, How Not To Revise For Finals At Keele – The Fourth & Final Part, Late May To Early June 1984

“Well I won’t be going back in there again in a hurry”, Keele University Library, Jonathan Hutchins, Wikimedia Commons

For many years, indeed decades, I have had an occasional but clearly recurring nightmare. I enter an exam room knowing that I have done precisely no revision for the exam in question; indeed I know precious little about the subject upon which I am about to be examined.

The nightmare tends to arise if I have a work deadline looming. But I can tell you precisely when I first experienced the nightmare…or perhaps I should say the experience that triggered that recurring nightmare. It was the sense of helplessness and regret I felt between my Law finals and my Economics finals at Keele. I sensed that I had comprehensively neglected Economics in favour of Law revision. Not that I had been all that diligent with the Law revision – as the first three pieces in this “How Not To Revise” series attest:

How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele, Part One: The Start Of The Easter Holidays, Early April 1984
A Tale Of Procrastination In Two Cities (And A Campus): How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele Part Two, Late April 1984
When Vision & Revision Collide: Including Plenty Of Tennis, Plus Students’ Union Stuff, Psychedelic Furs…Even Some Snooker & Football – How Not To Revise For Finals At Keele Part Three

Even when the reality of my poor preparation started to sink in – and plague my sleeping hours – in late May, I still somehow found plenty of time for tennis and other things:

Plenty of Tennis Between My Law Finals And My Economics Finals, Keele, 24 to 26 May 1984

Even the diary reports from those last few days suggest less than panic and plenty of racket-wielding:

Sunday, 27 May 1984 – Rose quite early – did quite a bit of work today during day and evening at Bobbie’s (B[obbie] cooked meal in evening).

Monday, 28th May 1984 – Did a bit more work today – especially at Bobbie’s in evening. Played tennis with Bobbie in afternoon.

Tuesday, 29 May 1984 – Worked quite hard today – shopped and played tennis [with Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman on that occasion] also – worked mostly in eve – Bobbie came back.

Wednesday, 30 May 1984 – Rose quite early – did some work – MICRO in afternoon – did some work and watch football in eve – Bobbie came back.

Thursday, 31 May 1984 – two more papers today – MACRO and APPLIED – pretty tired after – did a little work in eve, went to count etc. Bobbie came back.

Friday, 1 June 1984 – Last two exams – OPTIONS and SPECIAL SUBJECT – got wet and drunk after – went to Nick Lowe etc – felt pretty bad after and Bobbie came back.

Saturday, 2 June 1984 – felt pretty bad in morning. – Rose late – went into Hanley – did some shopping and ate there etc. – went to Lara’s party in evening – stayed in Lindsay.

I had a vague recollection of playing tennis with Bobbie once and I’m glad that the diary confirms the matter. I think we both agreed that the experience should be a one-off for both of us. I don’t think Bobbie much liked bat and ball games generally. She was a whizz at karate and very keen on football, mind you.

The football on the Wednesday can only have been the European Cup final between Liverpool and Roma – don’t click here unless you are happy to see the result. Some readers might still be keeping this result under wraps, forty-plus years later, with a view to watching a recording of the match untainted by knowing the result.

I don’t know whether to be proud of myself or denounce myself as an utter fool for attending a Students’ Union election count on the Thursday evening, having sat two Economics finals papers that day, before doing two more papers the next day. Perhaps I simply felt that I needed a bit of a break from the relentless economics. I wonder whether there is a formula and/or a law of economics to help decide the relative merits of yet more revision or something completely different for a few evening hours in those circumstances? Surely Parkinson’s Law should come into play?

I cherish my copy of this book

I love the line “got wet and drunk after” following my last two exams. Duncan Baldwin – I seem to recall – was involved in that traditional soaking – I cannot remember whether he was a fellow victim, perpetrator or both. Probably, like me, just victim in the water element but a willing participant in the libations.

I’m pretty sure that Bobbie had finished her exams before I finished mine and was being a brick those last few days to help keep me reasonably close to the straight and narrow until after the exams were done.

Nick Lowe At Keele

I was wondering whether Nick Lowe was at Keele or Hanley the night my finals finished. Fortunately, there was a preview in the local rag on the day of the gig, proving that it was indeed at Keele. Interesting article about an interesting guy:

Nick Lowe PreviewNick Lowe Preview 01 Jun 1984, Fri Staffordshire Newsletter (Stafford, Staffordshire, England) Newspapers.com

Here is a link to the then new album, “Nick Lowe And His Cowboy Outfit” on YouTube Music.

It does sound a bit scruffy, as promised by the man himself. I do remember enjoying the gig before exhaustion and alcohol excess took their toll on me. I’m pretty sure he played several of his earlier hits as well as plenty of material from his most recent release. This link to concert archive shows a set list from 10 weeks later, when this outfit was supporting Elvis Costello in the USA. I’d guess not the same set list but there would be significant overlap with the set we saw in June. After Keele, at least two stadiums in the next 10-12 weeks!

Next Up…

…waiting for the finals results, while getting up to speed for my forthcoming role as Students’ Union Education & Welfare officer…and some fun times during that hiatus period. Watch this space.

Plenty of Tennis Between My Law Finals And My Economics Finals, Keele, 24 to 26 May 1984

The late, great Alan Gorman, aka The Great Yorkshire Pudding, with thanks to Susan Gorman for the photo

Thursday 24 May 1984: Did some work today – played tennis in afternoon – worked at Bobbies in eve – came back after.

Friday 25 May 1984: Did some work today (not very much) – cold etc – worked over at Bobbies in eve.

Saturday 26 May 1984: Went shopping in afternoon (-McDonalds ) – played tennis in afternoon – went Bobbies to work in evening – stayed.

This was part of a short period between the end of my Law Finals exams and the start of my Economics Finals exams.

I do remember playing rather a lot of tennis at that time.

The tennis (when the opponent was not named in the diary) would have been Alan Gorman, aka The Great Yorkshire Pudding.

Pudding and I played a great deal that year, including several five match thrillers, which might well have taken in excess of three hours to complete.

I have a vague recollection that one of our five set thrillers did take place in that interval between my finals exams and I have a feeling it would have been the 24 May match, which preceded me having a cold the next day – a minor illness probably exacerbated by an excess of tennis.

Pudding and I were quite evenly matched at tennis, although we were very different in playing styles and physique. Pudding was tall and skinny, with “long levers” (as we say these days) and a fair bit of strength. I was much shorter, skinny, compact and comparatively feeble – but I was quick around the court and quite cunning in my style. Our matches were nearly always close.

We didn’t look much like this in 1984, but Ivan Lendl did.

The tennis courts were not much used, so we could usually play whenever we wanted for however long we wanted.

Unfortunately for me, several members of the Economics Department were amongst the very small band of other regulars on those courts, not least Professor Les Fishman, Mrs Fishman and Peter Lawrence. I don’t think they were impressed by the duration and intensity of our matches that close to my finals.

They might have had a point.

When Vision & Revision Collide: Including Plenty Of Tennis, Plus Students’ Union Stuff, Psychedelic Furs…Even Some Snooker & Football – How Not To Revise For Finals At Keele Part Three

So many books. so little time put aside for reading them…

OK, I didn’t have quite so many books back then, nor did I need to go through all of them for my finals. Strangely, I have kept most of the books I did read for those exams, as I have always struggled to part company with books, even dull textbook-type books.

This shelf – promoted to the least-touched, hard-to-reach top shelf now, has a lot of the material I went through for my finals.

I had three law papers to do: Civil Liberties, Criminology and Consumer Protection. I remember feeling that the Civil Liberties and Consumer Law material was still reasonably fresh in my mind and just needed a bit of cramming, whereas the Criminology, which I had been taught the year before, was far more evasive.

Because I had decided to defer Criminology until finals, I hadn’t done much on it during my P2 year, so much of the reading I was doing was “vision” more than “revision”. For Criminology, which is a fairly broad-based, sociological subject, perhaps that was just as well. I decided to focus my “vision” on books by the academics who taught the course: Pat Carlen and Mike Collinson, with just a smidge of reading around the topic. This seemed to work.

Don Thompson’s style of teaching Civil Liberties and Michael Whincup’s style of teaching Consumer Protection seemed, to me, to be more oriented towards preparng for exams, so my tutorial notes and just a bit of reading around felt more appropriate.

But let’s be honest about this – even in the 20 days or so running up to and into those exams, I was hardly devoting myself exclusively to the task. Diaries don’t lie.

1 to 6 May 1984 – Tennis The Only Distraction By The Looks Of It

Tuesday 1 May 1984 – Worked a little – played tennis [must have been Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman, as unnamed] – worked over at Bobbie’s in eve.

Wednesday 2 May 1984 – Shopped today – did some work during day – did some more at B’s in eve.

Thursday 3 May 1984 – Did a little work – played tennis with Viv [Vivian Robinson – strangely I have little recollection of playing tennis with her but it seems I did so more than once]– went to J-Soc in eve -> Bobbie’s to do some work later.

Friday 4 May 1984 – did some work – not much – did some work there [Bobbie’s] in eve.

Saturday 5 May 1984 – Did no work during the day – shopped plus played tennis with Pudding in afternoon. Went Bobbie’s in eve.

Sunday 6 May 1984 – Got up quite early. Did some work today – went over to B’s to do some more work.

Not too bad I suppose. I’m not sure how Bobbie recalls this period – if she recalls it at all. I think she had far better concentration and ability to revise/cram than I had. She might have perceived my restlessness as a distraction, but perhaps we were genuinely good for each other in terms of allocated long evenings to revise together. As a routine, it certainly helped me.

7 to 13 May 1984 – Throw In Some Union Stuff & Even Snooker On TV As Well As Tennis

Monday 7 May 1984 – Did some work – went to Constitutional Committee in eve -> Bobbie’s after – watched snooker and worked.

Tuesday 8 May 1984 – Did some work – played tennis with Pudding in afternoon – worked at Bobbie’s in eve.

Wednesday 9 May 1984 – Went shopping in afternoon – went over to B’s to work in eve.

Thursday 10 May 1984 ,- Did some work – played tennis with Viv in early eve – went over to Bobbie’s in evening.

Friday 11 May 1984 – Did some work today – worked more over at Bobbie’s in eve.

Saturday 12 May 1984 – Went shopping with Bobbie in the afternoon. Worked there in evening.

Sunday 13 May 1984 – got up early to work – worked over Bobbie’s in eve – re [her] first exam…

I don’t suppose many finalists persevered with Constitutional Committee 10 days or so before their finals. Snooker as a further distraction doesn’t really sound like me, however dull the particular chunk of revision I was doing that evening might have been.

I wasn’t much into snooker, but Alan The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman was and I suspect Bobbie must have been too. If snooker was Bobbie’s distraction, I was surely a willing participant in such distraction. Easily distracted from revision, me.

A little bit of Googling tells me that Monday 7 May was the nail-biting climax of the World Snooker Championship Final between Steve Davis and Jimmy White. Here’s a vid for those who like snooker.

14 to 20 May 1984

Monday 14 May 1984 – Did work today – Bobbie’s first exam – Ashley [Fletcher] came round – UGM eve – did a little work after.

Tuesday, 15 May 1984 – Did some work today – tennis with Pud [Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman]. Worked a little more over at Bobbie’s after.

Wednesday, 16 May 1984 – Went shopping today – worked at B’s in eve.

Thursday, 17 May 1984 – Worked quite hard on elections today – J-Soc also. Worked especially hard at B’s in eve.

Friday, 18 May 1984 – Day before exams – shopped in afternoon – worked hard in eve.

Saturday 19 May 1984 – CIVIL LIBERTIES [paper] in afternoon – did a little work in evening as well – earlyish night.

Sunday, 20 May 1984 – Worked some during day – and worked hard in evening.

A couple of references to working hard in the run up to my first paper, which does suggest that my work on those other days and evenings had not been quite as focussed.

I really did manage to cultivate the ability to focus and work ridiculously hard for several decades after this period…

…but very evidently not while I was preparing for my Keele finals.

21 to 23 May 1984 – Two Law Papers – Lows, Highs, The Psychedelic Furs & Tottenham Hotspurs

Monday, 21 May 1984 CRIMINOLOGY [paper] in morning – low in afternoon – went UC [Union Committee] – very down in eve also.

Tuesday, 22 May 1984 – Rose early. Worked hard on consumer protection – then CONSUMER PROTECTION [paper] afternoon – went Hanley for meal and Psychedelic Furs concert in the evening most pleasant.

Wednesday, 23 May 1984 – Went shopping, Pudding [tennis presumably] etc. in the afternoon – went over Bobbie’s in the evening. Did some work – watched football etc.

I think the low on the Monday after the Criminology paper was two-fold. I know I felt that I hadn’t had a good exam (it can’t have been too bad) but Bobbie came out of her last Law paper (I think European Law or International Law) convinced that she had badly screwed up. Of course she hadn’t, but I do remember that being one of the very few times I saw Bobbie in a blue funk about anything. (If only Bobbie’s distant memory were better, she could no doubt retell many examples of my blue funks).

By the next day I felt much better, not least because I sensed that I had written a decent Consumer Law paper and the added relief that the Law exams were over. Just Economics to go!

The fact that I had completely neglected Economics since completing my dissertation did not prevent me from celebrating the end of the Law finals with Bobbie in Hanley. I think it would have been the Chinese restaurant and then to Victoria Hall for an excellent Psychedelic Furs concert.

If you want to know what The Psychedelic Furs sounded like in May 1984, the BBC recorded and broadcast their concert at Hammersmith Odeon a week after the Victoria Hall concert. Here is that one hour recording:

If you prefer to see what they looked like back then, there is a slightly blurry YouTube from Madrid that year, part of the same tour, which is a very similar if not identical set to the one we would have seen:

The football we watched on Wednesday 23 May 1984 will have been the UEFA Cup Final between Tottenham Hotspur and Anderlecht. Football wasn’t really my thing, but it was Bobbie’s thing. Forever Everton in Bobbie’s case. Also, although I didn’t support Tottenham Hotspur (or indeed any football team), I had spent more time at White Hart Lane than any other ground, taken there as a kid many times by Stanley Benjamin and then later the holiday job work crowd, who also tended to favour that team/ground. You can read all about that UEFA Cup classic and look at clips of it on the Tottenham Hotspur site – click here – I’m not the only person who writes stuff up 40 years on, you know.

A Tale Of Procrastination In Two Cities (And A Campus): How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele Part Two, Late April 1984

Last Thursday (by which I mean 25 April 2024), driving home quite late in the evening, I heard a short anthropological programme on BBC Radio 4 entitled “Why Do We Procrastinate?”.

You too can hear that programme, by clicking this link, as long as you don’t put off doing so for too long.

The programme made me think about my procrastination-ridden period 40 years ago, when I should have been revising more profoundly for my finals than I managed. It also reminded me that I wanted soon to publish the second part of my mini-series, based on that experience, “How not to revise for your finals at Keele”.

I must get that piece written and out this weekend,

I thought to myself. But guess what? A different idea hove into my my mind and I wrote something completely different instead.

Having got to Monday, I then resolved to procrastinate yet longer. But that would be too straightforward. So, this evening, I have decided to put off my procrastination until tomorrow and write the piece right now.

Peace, Love & Procrastination, 21st Century style

Trying Revising In Liverpool

Liverpool from across the Mersey

Thursday, 12 April 1984 – Left Keele after sorting out various business. Arrived [at Bobbie Scully’s place in Wallasey] late afternoon – had dinner – did a little work – went to a pub after.

Friday, 13 April 1984 – Very little today – walking dog etc. eating etc. Went Liverpool in eve – didn’t do much – not feeling so good.

Saturday 14 April 1984 – Not feeling too well today – very little work – walked dog etc etc – went to local pub in eve – worked and watched film after.

Sunday, 15 April 1984 – Rose quite late – packed etc – left Liverpool after lunch – got home [Streatham]. Picked up to eat – did little.

It’s quite possible that I set my standards of diligence and industry a little higher now than I did in 1984, but I would rate my performance, in the matter of doing plenty of revision during those few days on Merseyside, as dismal.

Might London have worked better?

Trying Revising In London

London – could I possibly end up even deeper in the poo?

Monday, 16 April 1984 – Did little work today – G[randma] Jenny and U[ncle] Louis came over for Seder Night.

Tuesday, 17 April 1984 – Did some work – went shopping after. Fairly easy day today – easy evening.

Wednesday, 18 April 1984 – Did some work today – went to Kingston Liberal Seder with Grandma Jenny and Uncle Louis in evening.

Thursday, 19 April 1984 – Worked quite hard today – did little else in fact apart from work.

Friday, 20 April 1984 – Did a little work today – went out for Indian meal – family came over an evening.

Saturday 21 April 1984 – Did a little work & taping today. Paul came over in evening.

Sunday, 22 April 1984 – Did very little work today. Makro [Charlton] in morning – big Carretto [Italian Restaurant in Streatham] lunch in afternoon – did little else all day apart from write up dad’s books.

Monday, 23 April 1984 – Did some work today – went for walk with dad in afternoon – evening taped and spoke to people.

“All work and no joy makes Jack a dull boy”, says Grandma Jenny

Hmmm. The Liverpool experiment was no more than one out of ten on the revision front. London possibly scores four out of ten.

Still, Passover and Easter are now done. Time to return to Keele and see the thing through on campus.

Trying Revising At Keele

Keele – I’m trying to remember what that building was for. 😉

Tuesday, 24 April 1984 – Came back to Keele today – went to the union for a drink at last orders.

Wednesday, 25 April 1984 – Tried to do some work – shopped – went to Ashley etc – last orders in union.

Thursday 26 April 1984 – did a little work today – Bobbie came back late afternoon – did little for rest of day.

Friday, 27 April 1984 – Got up quite late. Went shopping in Newcastle – did some work in the evening.

Saturday 28 April 1984 – Tried to do some work today – went over to Bobbie’s – fairly lazy evening.

Sunday, 29 April 1984 – Did a little work today – went and had a game of tennis with Pudding [Alan Gorman aka The Great Yorkshire Pudding] in early evening – went over to Bobbie’s in eve.

Monday, 30 April 1984 – Did some work today (not much) – did a little more over at Bobbie’s in evening.

Let’s not worry too much about this, folks. My first Law paper was set for 19 May, so there were still 18 revision days until then. But let’s also be honest about it; I seemed to be finding distractions wherever I went. Worse yet, those tennis courts were oh so enticing whenever I looked out of my Barnes L54 window and Alan “Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman was often on hand to help me get some much needed fresh air and exercise.

DALL-E image depicting me and Alan dallying

Part Three will follow when I can procrastinate no longer and write up the first three weeks of May 1984. Don’t hold your breath, but I’m aiming for publishing it three weeks hence.

How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele, Part One: The Start Of The Easter Holidays, Early April 1984

The meaning of this image for this story will become apparent if you read on!

Forty years after the event, I can still give myself the collywobbles by reading my diary entries for the weeks approaching my finals at Keele. Economics and Law, just in case you were wondering.

I never have been much use at revising for exams. These were important exams to say the least. I sense that I distinguished myself for these big ones by being proportionately dreadful at knuckling down to revision.

I was, at least, quite brutally honest in my diary as to what I was – and wasn’t – doing around that time.

This multi-part article on how not to revise for your finals might serve as an object lesson to students everywhere.

Let’s start with a transcription from my diary for the first 10 days of April 1984:

Sunday 1 April 1984 – Got up late! Did little all day – Viv [Robinson] came round in afternoon – had nice meal and early night.

Monday 2 April 1984 – Got up quite late – Ashley [Fletcher] came round. Went into town – shopped and went to Ashley’s – Bobbie [Scully] left – easyish evening – went Union with Mel [Melissa Oliveck] for last orders – early night.

Tuesday, 3 April 1984 – Tried to do some work today – not too successfully. Went to Union in the evening with Mel.

Wednesday, 4 April 1984 – Late start – intermittent work – went to union with Malcolm [Cormelius] in the evening.

Thursday, 5 April 1984 – Did some work today – intermittently -big demo against Police Bill [which became the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984]. Went to KRA in evening with Malcolm.

Friday, 6 April 1984 – worked quite hard today – shopped etc – went to Union in eve – had a bop!

Saturday, 7 April 1984 – busyish day. Worked quite hard on project today. Went to union in eve – disco etc.

Sunday, 8 April 1984 – Worked on project today after late start. Visited Q92 [my Malay friends] etc. Went to Union for last orders.

Monday, 9 April 1984 = Shopped and worked today. Went to KRA with Malc, Farm [Chris Spencer] and Mel – nice evening.

Tuesday, 10 April 1984 – Worked hard on project all day. Went to Careless Talk meeting in evening, then union, then K41 do.

Some points to note here. Firstly, there are some references to working hard, but they are unquestionably linked to finishing my project – i.e. my Economics dissertation on the Economics of the Pharmaceutical Industry. I am proud of that piece of work, which achieved a first class mark, but in truth it should have been finished before revision time came around in April 1984.

My flat, Barnes L54, had just two of us regular residents: me and Chris “Farmer” Spencer. Pete Wild’s girlfriend, Melissa Oliveck, was there, at least for that first chunk of the vacation, while Malcolm Cornelius was occupying Alan “Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman’s room.

One aspect, unmentioned in the diary but which I remember very clearly, was a short-lived tradition of making Irish coffee at the end of the evening on return from the Union. I was reminded of this a couple of weeks ago (March 2024) when my wife, Janie, ordered an Irish coffee after our meal in Petworth (see headline image and below).

“You were a role model…on how NOT to revise…”

I recalled that we were trying to get work done for our finals, so were not spending much time in the bar. Instead, Malcolm and I tried many different ways to prepare the Irish coffee in the flat – all in the interests of science of course.

I remarked to the maître d’ in Petworth that Malcolm and I had concluded that the essential component to make the cream float nicely was the sugar content within the coffee. The maître d’ explained that, to get a full-on Irish coffee to look the way the coffee looks in our photos, you also need to bring each ingredient to the right temperature before combining and use cream with the right fat content.

Back to the drawing board, Malc.

The woeful tale of my attempts to revise for finals will continue soon, after a short interlude next time, to describe a visit that Ashley Fletcher and I made to a Keeley food collective group in Newcastle.