Tag: Café Rouge Maida Vale

Several Seasonal September Soirees, 1, 8, 9, 14 & 18 September 2010

1 September: Dinner With Mum At the French Cafe

Picture borrowed from Quandoo – click the pic to see that website.

Mum was especially keen on this Balham eatery towards the end of her time at Woodfield Avenue. It was conveniently close to the house too, so I would sometimes pick her up and take her to The French Cafe for dinner. This was one of those occasions.

8 September: Middlesex CCC Kit Sponsors Party

Daisy came along this time around – a rare visit to one of these parties by her. I seem to recall that the event had been especially good the year before and my report had triggered a “may I come to one of those?” question to which the answer was, “of course you may!”

I think this one was in the press bat of the old Warner Stand, if my memory serves me well.

I think this was the evening we spent quite a lot of time chatting with the late, lamented Derek “The Diamond” Britain and some members of his family. We also chatted with some of the players, nibbled at food and drank wine.

9 September: Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners had been going for just over 10 years by then. In fact, I missed the 10th anniversary one, in June. I am writing this soon after the 20th anniversary one was wiped out by the Covid lockdown in the spring of 2020.

The headline photo was circulated by John Random ahead of that June 2010 get together, which I missed. So I never discovered the context of the regal look. Perhaps John, feeling a little insecure, wanted to assert his authority with regard to our gathering.

Anyway. he was certainly in charge in September and circulated some more pictures and bants:

“The lovely Victoria”, as John describes her.

Many thanks to all those who came out to the Cafe Rouge on Thursday. If you weren’t there you were either sorely missed or we all slagged you off behind your back. No, seriously. We had a good turn-out, including – may I say – the Three Graces in the form of the lovely Harriet, the lovely Victoria and the lovely Jasmine, who is not only lovely but can show you all how to save up to 10% on Travelodge. Harriet came in her pyjamas. OK, with some pyjamas. In a bag. From La Senza. Anyway, it’s not often we have so many women come to the Ivan Shakespeares and I hope this trend continues.

Personal highlight of the evening, though was Keith Wickham reading out the scores to the quiz in the voice of James Mason.

Finally, Where Are They Now No. 127: Mark Flitton spotted on location in legal drama Silk playing the owner of a dangerous dog. Many of you will have fond memories of Mark in Noel’s wonderful Smoking Doctors sketch. He also went to Edinburgh for us and performed in both the Newsrevue show and Whoops Vicar.

Mark Flitton with John Random
Colin Stutt

I do recall Keith Wickham’s James Mason impression that evening. I have always liked his James Mason, but there was something about Keith reading out the quiz scores in the style of James Mason that especially tickled me and I do remember giggling a lot. Perhaps it was the fourth glass of vino wot dunnit.

Anyway, as always a fun evening with the NewsRevue alums.

14 September: Middlesex CCC Forum & Party & The Robert Browning

I must be honest and admit that I remember very little about this particular forum and party, other than ending up at the Robert Browning Pub with Barmy Kev and others, where we continued the libations and played bar billiards until chucking out time.

Mercifully, I don’t need to remember much, as Barmy Kev documented the forum, party and even the bar billiards in a ball-by-ball report – click here to read it in all its gory…I mean, glory.

Coincidentally, the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners were, for a while, held at the Robert Browning, until the inhospitable nature of the place (last orders for food were taken ridiculously early) drove us across the way to Cafe Rouge.

Writing 10 years on, I note that the Robert Browning is under new management and has been rebranded as The Eagle. Bar billiards is still listed. Might be worth giving it another try once lockdown is over.

18 September: Pickled Herring Of the Year “Fast Breaking” At Jacquie Briegal’s Place

Schmaltz Herring from a later year – the schmaltz often wins

The family gathering which includes the Pickled Herring Of The Year awards has been described at length in other years, e.g.

Pickled Herring Of The Year Competition and Other Delights, 12 October 2016

In 2010, mum would have been there, as would Michael and Dorothy, me, Janie, Hils and possibly some special guest stars, such as Jacquie’s grandson Josh. Mum might even have had a sleepover at Jacquie’s that year; I think she did that once or twice after dad and Len had died.

The 2010 spread would have looked much like the 2016 spread depicted. But the winner of the award that year has been lost in the mists of time.

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Maida Vale, 5 March 2009

John Random’s rallying cry for this one read as follows:

…the next Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner is to be held on Thursday March 5th at 8 o’ clock at the Cafe Rouge in Clifton Thingamy. Look forward to seeing you all,, and if you haven’t been for a while, please don’t think that means you can’t come along now. Regrettably, Sir Fred Goodwin has had to cry off. Says he’s a bit strapped for cash at the moment.

Don’t ask why, but John also sent the following photo of himself along with the message:

SPRAGUE

John’s thank you e-mail after the dinner was not very forthcoming about our event itself:

…A big thank you to all those who came out to the I don’t know 23rd Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner. It was a very enjoyable evening. If you couldn’t make it this time, rest assured that you were sorely missed.


Now, to more serious matters. Some of you may have heard about the disgraceful auction of some of our founder’s personal effects. Mike ‘MaHoddma’ Gandhi always eschewed vulgar displays of vulgaressness so the news that his original wire-rimmed spectacles (so humble that they didn’t even have any glass in them) and a pair of his even humbler sandals (the very sandals he wore during his famous March, which was just before his famous April) have come up for sale at Christie’s in New York will send a shiver down many a loyal spine. To us Newsrevue veterans these items are tantamount to sacred relics, and tantamount is next to Paramount, as you well know.

I sent the following, which should be recorded for all posterity:

…I amused (most of) those who were there on Thursday with the Washington Post invitational word “ignoranus”. I attach the list of all of this year’s winners from that competition – several of which are well worth the effort of reading:
Best
Ian


Here are the winners of this year’s Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition :
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright Ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8.Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (this one got extra credit).
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade, v, To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Noel Christopher reported that:

…Wow. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the new definition of “flatulence”. There’s probably a word for it…

…perhaps “posterity”?

A Few Evenings during September 2008, not least 30 September 2008

That time of year, I suppose. A few evenings worth listing.

11 September 2008: Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner – explained in the third entry of the link piece. Here is John Random’s tombstone e-mail from that night:

Just like to extend a heartfelt thanks to all those who came to the 32nd Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner – actually I don’t know if it is the 32nd but we’ve been doing an average of four a year since the year 2000, so it sounds plausible. Those of you who weren’t there, whether in Africa, America, Ireland or some oil-producing nation such as Harpenden you were all sadly missed, You missed a great quiz from Gerry, and the surprise (and welcome) re-appearance of John Cowen. Special guest Neil Watson brought a touch of class to the proceedings.

16 September 2008: Gresham College – one of Michael Mainelli’s very last lectures that “fed” The Price of Fish. This was at Barnard’s Inn Hall. Z/Yen will have sponsored drinks and some of us will have had some grub (almost certainly at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese) afterwards.

23 September 2008: Bill Emmott’s Sir Thomas Gresham Docklands Lecture which was excellent. Followed by a drinks and then a round table discussion/meal at the Four Seasons Docklands.

26 September 2008: Kim, Micky and Charlie dinner, 7:00ish. Sounds like it must have been at Sandall Close; a trawl through Janie’s diary archive will confirm or deny at some stage.

30 September 2008: Stuart Rose lecture at the Royal Opera House. Can’t find an on-line reference but I do recall being there. Something about probity and stuff.

 

CFDG And Ivan Shakespeare Evenings, 27 & 28 February 2008

On the Wednesday evening I went to the Charity Finance Directors Group (CFDG) 20th anniversary reception at St Paul’s Cathedral. Quite grand it was, but I cannot find the details of the event other than those stated. I think Phil Hope MP might have said some well-chosen words at that event and no doubt wine flowed and nibbles went down.

The next day was an Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner. John Random organised thus:

I have consulted the entrails of a sheep and the signs tell me that February 28th is a good time for the next meal at the Cafe Rouge. Can I have a show of electronic hands please? Who can make it? Who can’t?

I replied thusly:

I similarly consulted sheep’s entrails, and all that told me was that I needed to wash my hands pdq. But the entrails also said “see you 28 February”, which I find a little worrying. I think I might stick to fish or vedge that night just in case.

Unfortunately, John’s roundup from that particular gathering was quite generic:

Just a quick thank you to all those who came out on Thursday night to the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner. Those of you who weren’t there were much missed. I’ll send out the quizzes if you want me to, though.

Another one where the details are lost in the mists of time.

I said the mists of time, not the mists of Tokyo. Gratuitous eye candy, this is.

Three Late December Evenings: 15, 19 & 20 December 2007

15 December

Janie and I had Hilary & Chris for dinner at Sandall Close. No doubt they had come up to drop & collect Christmas presents etc. No doubt they stayed and no doubt they disappeared early the next morning when Janie and I went off to play tennis.

19 December

Mansion House. Michael Mainelli had persuaded the City of London Corporation & the Lord Mayor to host a London Accord launch at the Mansion House. This felt like a big deal for Z/Yen at the time. So much so that I bought a stack of copies of The Diary Of A Nobody as the staff’s Secret Santa stocking filler that year, pointing them to the Mansion House chapter/thread in the book.

Any resemblance between Ogblog and The Diary Of A Nobody is purely coincidental.

This Now & Z/Yen piece announced the London Accord Mansion House event. Very grand it was too.

20 December

Back down to earth at Cafe Rouge in Maida Vale for the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, including the seasonal Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Trophy quiz.

John Random helpfully reported back after the event:

Many thanks to all those who came out to the… I dunno.. the 28th? Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner. (We seem to have settled into a pattern of four a year and we’ve been doing this for 7 years now, so 28 sounds about right.) The occasion was graced by Jasmine Birtles, Caroline Bainbridge, Gerry Goddin, Barry Grossman, Mark Keegan, Colin Stutt, Nick R. Thomas, Ian Harris, Mike Hodd and myself. There were three quizzes. Barry retained the trophy.

For those struggling to imagine what this magnificent trophy might look like – here is a subsequent picture of it (with legends for some subsequent winners):

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Maida Vale, 13 September 2007

My diary suggests that I at least planned to go to an Ivan Shakespeare memorial dinner on 13 September 2007.

In truth, I don’t recall this particular one. It was just a few weeks after my dad died, so I might have skipped it, but I have a feeling I was there. In those days we always gathered in the (now defunct) Café Rouge Maida Vale.

Image from AllInLondon.co.uk https://www.allinlondon.co.uk/restaurants/restaurant-1227.php

The story of the NewsRevue writers alumni dinners generally is explained in the following piece from 2017:

Ultimate Love and Happy Tories, Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, Café Rouge Holborn, 3 March 2017

Mercifully, we have a contemporaneous, verbatim report of the 13 September 2007 evening from John Random, who wrote:

Thanks to all those who braved the Tube Strike/Floods/Terracotta Army Delete As Appropriate  last night to come to the 24th Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, an annual event that takes place four times a year in the old scout hut.  For those of you who couldn’t make it – perhaps because you were in an oil-rich/war-torn/fat-free/Delete As Appropriate country, there is however good news. The Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners are now available on Second Life.  At the inaugural Second Life Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner a virtual Colin Stutt exchanged virtual quips with a digitally-enhanced Barry Grossman.  Sadly, a virtual Keith Whickham had to cry off at the last minute because his avatar had a job on Third Life, while Hugh Rycroft couldn’t make it because he was in Pond Life.  The whole dinner can be now downloaded into your lavatory bowl if you’re not feeling well.  But please remember to put what you want in the subject line as dinners may contain spam.

So that’s all explained then. On reading that review, the evening starts to come back to me, so I’m guessing that I was there.