County Championship – Page 5

Middlesex CCC Sponsors’ Party, Thomas Lord Suite, 2 June 2015

I don’t remember huge amounts about this one.

The party was scheduled for the end of Day 3 of the Middlesex v Warwickshire County Championship match, but I recall absolutely nothing about the match.

Looking it up, I can see that the match was rain-affected and that my work “sent items” tray has sent items throughout Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday – proof positive that I didn’t get to HQ in time for cricket at all that match.

But I did go to the party. I remember it being convivial (they always are). I’m pretty sure it was this occasion that I won a Middlesex pendant thing, much to the chagrin of Posh Margaret who had her eye on that prize.

When I showed the prize to Daisy (who didn’t want it)| and told her what Margaret had said, we agreed that I would present the item to Margaret from both of us next time I saw her at Lord’s.

I’m also pretty sure I took Jez along as my guest that year, making it a good opportunity to catch up with him too, now he no longer works for us.

I do recall having quite a long chat with Eoin Morgan at that party. I told him that I was pleased he was being given a proper run at the one day captaincy. He thanked me and told me he’d been getting some flack that evening. I told him that I felt that England had tremendous potential as a one day side but had been delivering less than the sum of its parts for some while. It was very interesting to hear Eoin’s insights into Trevor Bayliss’s approach and how hopeful he (Eoin) was that they could work together well to fulfil that potential.

I’m sure I nibbled at some food and drank a little more wine than I had originally intended to drink. That isn’t specific memory, that’s just what tends to happen at these dos.

I’m sure I didn’t drink too much and that I resisted the temptation to continue chatting and drinking in the Tavern afterwards; I had a relatively early meeting with the auditors scheduled for the next morning. There’s bad planning for you.

The Rump Ire Strikes Back, King Cricket Match report, Middlesex v Durham Day 3 at Lord’s, 4 May 2015

This King Cricket report was published in August 2015 – you can read it here.

It is a pretty self-explanatory piece about a bank holiday weekend visit to Lord’s by me and Janie – or should I say Ged and Daisy?

If anything ever goes awry with that King Cricket link, I have scraped the piece to here.

Of course, King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

As this was a quite extraordinary afternoon of cricket, you might like to look at the scorecard here. The match had ambled to lunch on the third day with only 14-15 wickets down and seemed to be heading the way of a bore draw. Then the weather turned from sunny spring sunshine to wintry gloom, the threat of rain and an early close, but not before another 14-15 wickets fell in not much more than a couple of hours. That’s cricket for you. Middlesex came out the right side of this one the next morning.

Addendum (written 8 December 2016)

I had the pleasure to witness, on the TV this morning, Keaton Jennings score a test match hundred on debut for England. A rare and happy event. That made me wonder whether I had yet seen Keaton Jennings bat live, so my thoughts turned to the day reported in this posting.

Daisy and I arrived at Lord’s soon after play resumed in the afternoon, after the lunch interval. I had the internet radio on. While Daisy was parking up on the St John’s Wood Road, just outside the ground, we heard a cheer, then a few seconds later heard the commentary describe Keaton Jennings first innings dismissal for 98.

After tea, before the rain came, we got to see all of Keaton Jennings’s second innings, including his dismissal for a sixth ball blob. Very unusual for an opening batsman to be dismissed twice in one afternoon.

Exam question for students of linguistic philosophy and amateur lovers of semantics: could/should Daisy and I claim to have witnessed both dismissals in those circumstances?

With a bit of luck, I/we will get to see Keaton Jennings score runs live soon enough.

First of the Summer Whine, King Cricket Match report, Middlesex v Nottinghamshire Day 2, 13 April 2015

King Cricket published this piece in July 2015 – click here or below to read it:

First of the summer whine – Middlesex v Nottinghamshire match report

If anything by chance ever happens o the King Crciekt site, that piece is scraped to here.

It is a pretty self-explanatory piece and gives no clues towards the mayhem that would later break out in my 2015 match reports, with my possessions increasingly taking over the report writing role. Frankly, the idea had not yet occurred to me.

The only idea for a runner that crops up in this report was Charley “the Gent” Malloy’s forgetfulness regarding the bottle of wine. I guessed that the “offending and delicious sounding bottle would somehow never quite find its way to be downed in part by me. I could be wrong, but in April 2016 let’s just say that I’m still waiting.

To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:

Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

If you want to know what actually happened in the match and on the day we visited, then click here and scrutinise the scorecard. It wasn’t one of Middlesex’s more glorious days.

Middlesex v Yorkshire Day 4 at Lord’s, 30 April 2014

A working day, but I did have a pile of reading to do and a hope for good weather and an opportunity to go to Lord’s.

The match started inauspiciously for a gentleman in search of Day Four cricket at Lord’s, but Mick Hunt’s ability to produce tracks that end up lifeless knows no bounds sometimes.

At the time of writing (December 2016), there is much chat about Joe Root being lined up for the England captaincy – here is a very early example of him leading an almost unbeatable side to heroic defeat.

Click here for the almost infeasible scorecard.

Click here for a link to my King Cricket match report for this day – some good bants in the comments section – the bants are better than my article on this occasion.

If by chance anything ever happens to King Cricket, click here instead.

The other thing worth saying, absent from my King Cricket report as mentioning the cricket itself is prohibited there, is that I got to Lord’s just in time to witness Chris Rogers get to the 200 mark soon after lunch; I witnessed that from the Warner Stand before moving on to the sunshine elsewhere.

Middlesex v Nottinghamshire Day Three, Lord’s, 15 April 2014

Oh joy – ’twas the new cricket season and I took a day off work to see cricket with Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett.

My write up of the day on King Cricket (published a mere six weeks later – fancy that!) is all anyone needs to know, really – click here.

I rather like that write up in retrospect. I think you get a sense of the joy to be had just passing a day with a friend (or friends) watching cricket.

If anything ever happens to King Cricket, I have scraped the above report page to here.

If anyone reading this is desperate to know what actually happened in the cricket that day, here is a link to the scorecard.

Nottingham, Wormleighton and Yorkshire – a Short Break with Multi-media Relics 10 to 19 April 2013

A rather unusual round trip, taking a week or so off work, for cricket, walking and stuff. This short break was a substitute for the longer trip we had planned for Malawi, which we ended up deferring to September and was well worth the wait.

But back to our Midlands and the North trip. We started with a couple of nights in Nottingham, in order to enjoy the second day of the county cricket season as guests of Nottinghamshire CCC. I wrote up our Nottinghamshire day, 11 April, for King Cricket – click here for that King Cricket (cricket-free) report.

Just in case anything ever goes awry with King Cricket, here is a scrape of that piece.

Here’s the match card – in case you want to know about the cricket.

Then on the 12th to the village of Wormleighton, in Warwickshire the spiritual home of Janie’s family. No-one knows how the family came to have that name. Probably because someone in the dim and distant past came from there and probably not because Janie is descended from the Spencer family (which pretty-much owned the village), despite the Churchillian and Princess Diana resemblances in Janie’s family.

There is an ancient video of “the Worms” visiting the village of Wormleighton en famille in 1971 – here or below

On this trip, Ged and Daisy made a little video of their own search for the ancient village of Wormleighton – here or below.

For the uninitiated, Ged and Daisy are our pet names for each other and have been so for over 20 years.

We stayed at Wormleighton Hall, which is a rather grand farm house just outside the village – formerly the squires residence I shouldn’t wonder and now the home of the tenant farmers who make the whole thing work commercially by running the place as a small hotel as well as a farm. Lovely family; into all the local countryside stuff. We visited the Mollington point-to-point which they were attending on the 13th and took some excellent pictures of the local tribes at leisure.

Sighting of local tribesfolk at the Mollington point-to-point

All 80 pictures from the whole round trip are contained in this Flickr album – here and below.

On 14th we went to Chipping Norton to visit brother-in-law Tony and his lovely second wife Liz.

Hockney says you cannot properly photograph these Wolds scenes

On 15th, off to North Yorkshire, driving the eastern-side to see and photograph Hockney country before reaching The Star, where we stayed and ate in great style for a few days.

On 16th we went on a Farndale walk in search of daffodils, surprisingly successfully as the cold start to the spring had delayed the daffs, but they were just starting to show well our day – good fortune.

Some more nice pictures in the Flickr link above; also another little Ged and Daisy video – the attack by a savage sheep (mistaken for a ram) and the skipping lambs at the end being delicious highlights – click here or below .

17th we drove South-West to Saltaire and had a look at the town and some art gallery-style Hockney stuff. 18th we spent at leisure and walking around the Star’s vicinity (Harome).

19th we drove home. Middlesex were again in action against Derbyshire (Day 3) and as we drove home we realised that an improbable early result to the match was on the cards. After stopping off at the house, I went on (alone) in the car to catch the end of the match and witness a Middlesex win – here’s the card. Quite a week for us and for Middlesex.

Middlesex v Surrey Day 3, Lords, Stumpfmerde & MTWD Match Report, 30 July 2010

Another day of county championship cricket at Lord’s that needs a bit of explaining.

Michael Mainelli and I had formed a bit of a tradition that, each year, we’d spend a few hours at Lord’s watching first class cricket and chatting strategically/laterally/crazily about our business, Z/Yen.

In earlier years, before such sessions took place at Lord’s, we called them “Stiermerde sessions”, not that bullshit came into it…of course it didn’t. Once such sessions were at Lord’s, we called them “Stumpfmerde sessions” instead.

Michael must have enjoyed it because his e-mail that evening included:

Great Stumpfmerde and thank you…

My response included:

Indeed I have cleared my e-mails and shall down tools. But I couldn’t do so before scribbling and uploading today’s match report.
http://www.cricketnetwork.co.uk/main/middlesex-ccc/s66/st161035/surrey-completely-clerihew-cornered
Very enjoyable day. And productive Stumpfmerdwise and bookwise too.
Oh, and you really did miss lots of excitement by leaving early – 6 wickets in the last hour, five of them to the youngster Toby Roland-Jones who is the product of your charming neighbour’s brother at the Middlesex Academy. What a happy coincidence!

Just in case anything ever goes awry with the MTWD website, I have scraped that strange match report to here.

I must say that it had completely escaped my memory that I witnessed that exceptional breakthrough performance by Toby Roland-Jones on a Stumpfmerde day – in my mind I would have completely separated the two events.

Here is a link to the Cricinfo scorecard for that match.

I’m glad I spotted the star quality that evening. Neville Cardus would not have spotted it better. Nor would Cardus have reported in clerihews.

Middlesex v Sussex, Uxbridge, Party At End Of Day Two Plus MTWD Match Report Day Three, 22 & 23 July 2010

This will take a bit of explaining, as the match report I wrote for the Middlesex Till We Die (MTWD) website – click here to see that – is a sequence of haikus.

(If anything by chance happens to MTWD, that article is scraped to here.)

But I do remember the events of the 24 hours or so in question.

In those days, Vic Demain, now the head groundsman at Durham CCC, was the groundsman at Uxbridge. He would organise a charity party night during the county championship match to raise money for a good cause – breast cancer mostly.

This particular year, I was unable to attend the cricket on the day of the party, as it clashed with business meetings of such import I can barely bring myself to read the appointments for them in my diary without trembling.

So, I decided to hot-foot it to Uxbridge after my last meeting (in Kings Cross) and arranged for Daisy kindly to collect my weekend gear from the flat and take it to the house.

That way, I could commute to Uxbridge to the party, cab it to Daisy’s after the party, commute to Uxbridge the next day (Day Three, the Friday) and have Daisy join me for the conclusion of play and a lift home.

Simples.

I recall the charity party was a good one that year. I think I might have ended up with some Middlesex memorabilia and a lighter wallet, but that’s the idea of such things I suppose.

I also remember having terrible trouble meeting up with my minicab driver, as the gate I thought would work for my collection was locked and we struggled to work out how I might get out without walking for 10-15 minutes around the ground and adjacent fields. I think we ended up with me jumping the gate, in the style of the escape Daisy and I had made from Laos some years earlier:

When Janie And I Jumped The Border Into Thailand At Chong Mek And Then Blagged Our Way Out Of Thailand Again, 19 and 26 February 2001

But I digress.

The haikus describe Day Three in superb detail – here’s the link again – but just in case you want to know more, here is a link to the Cricnfo scorecard etc.

It seems the real drama was to unfold the next day.

There aren’t many websites upon which the groundsman might report the day’s proceedings in fine style, but MTWD managed to secure the good services of Vic Demain for the Day Four match report – click here for that report. A thumping good read.

Middlesex v Sussex T20, Lord’s, 3 June 2010, Then Middlesex v Northamptonshire Day One, Lord’s, 4 June 2010

The diary suggests that I originally planned to go with Michael to Lord’s on 4 June day for a “stumpfmerde” (bullshit session at cricket), but as we had a mini works outing the night before to see a T20 match between Middlesex and Sussex, I have a feeling that Michael and I moved the “stumpf” until later in the season.

The Thursday mini works outing comprised me, Jez, Monique, Steph, Rich and Grant. That season, Jez and I were organising several mini-outings to the T20 matches, rather than the slightly larger whole team outings that became the norm in later years. The weather was especially good that June – as Monique wrote the next day:

Thanks for last night. It was so nice to be able to sit in the sun! And now to take the mickey out of Jez…

The sun failed to shine on Middlesex that night in a cricketing sense – click here for the scorecard.

Still, I took the Friday off and went to Lord’s to see Day One of the Northants match, probably taking a wad of reading with me, as was my wont.

I can see that I had an exchange of messages with Peter Sheldrake, aka Comebackgatt, with a view to meeting up at Lord’s which, on this occasion, didn’t happen.

What do I mean, “on this occasion”? It never happened. Despite several attempts.

Still, at least Comebackgatt wrote up the day for MTWD – click here.

Here is a link to the scorecard – Middlesex fans of a nervous disposition shouldn’t look.

I don’t think I stayed much past tea as Janie and I were meeting Anthea and Mitchell later:

Come, Been and Gone, aka I Like My Job, Michael Clark Company, Barbican, 4 June 2010

Middlesex v Derbyshire Day One, Uxbridge, 15 September 2009

This was another of those days when I hoped to see some cricket at Uxbridge but the weather was set foul. My track record over the years on days when I want to go to Middlesex out grounds can only be described as terrible…almost as terrible as Middlesex’s 2009 season.

Middlesex were having a shocking season that year, so it was hard to get reporters. Hence Hippity volunteered to go to Uxbridge and then write this one up…at least that’s what the editor was told.

Hippity’s writing career mercifully tailed off after the 2009 season, with just the occasional piece for MTWD or King Cricket subsequently.

Here is the 15 September 2009 report: Soggy Tail From Uxbridge.

Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped the piece to Ogblog – only click the link below if the link above doesn’t work:

Middlesex till we die – Soggy Tail From Uxbridge

Here is the scorecard from the inevitable draw.

For the record, rabbit-friendly “Uncail Victor at Uxbridge” is Vic Demain, who has gone on to grander things – at the time of writing he is groundsman at Chester-Le-Street. Not so rabbit-friendly “Uncail Micheál at Lord’s” is Mick Hunt.

I vaguely remember Tim Groenewald being taken poorly towards the end of this match and there being a resulting health scare (unfounded as it turned out) about both squads. The details are lost in the mists of my memory, although linger somewhere on the message boards. I do remember him being a bit of a thorn in Middlesex’s side on subsequent meetings over the years though.

As for the scurrilous suggestion that Middlesex might end that rotten season coming bottom of the second division, that was an outrage. Middlesex in fact came second from bottom, a full two points clear of the county championship wooden spoon – click here to see the table. Middlesex are yet to “win” that particular wooden spoon ever, I believe.

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