Tag: County Championship

Middlesex v Worcestershire Days 1 and 3 at Lord’s, Co-starring Ed Smith & Nassim Nicholas Taleb, 22 and 24 July 2008

Nassim Nicholas Taleb, photo by Sarah Josephine Taleb, via Wikimedia Commons

Tuesday

I’m not certain when I was first approached by Ed Smith at Lord’s, but I am pretty sure it was on the first day of this match, 22 July, “The Longest Groundhog Day”, which I reported (mainly through MTWD) – click here for the Ogblog links.

Ed had been injured early in the T20 campaign – see my Ogblog about the day it happened here. As it turned out, the injury was a career ending injury, but at the time Ed was simply at a loose end around Lord’s hoping to recover quickly.

As I understand it, Richard Goatley suggested that Ed have a chat with me about stuff, possibly in part to clear the office at a crazy time (SGM day), possibly in part because he thought that Ed and I might not only find stuff to talk about, but even be able to tolerate each other while doing so.

First I knew of it was an SMS, which seemed to come from Ed Smith, suggesting we meet for a chat. At first I thought it was a joke/hoax (I was editing MTWD back then) but anyway it wasn’t a hoax. I did wonder whether Ed knew that I was MTWD’s Ged, but we never discussed the matter and (strangely) I have never asked Richard Goatley whether Ed was told/knew. I might ask Richard one day.

In any case, that Tuesday I was reporting for MTWD, but there was so much else going on I was able to fill my report with stuff and not feel that I was giving the readers short change by omitting the Ed Smith bits.

I recall a conversation about Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Ed had been asked to write a review of and/or comment upon The Black Swan. Ed said he was finding it impenetrable and asked if I had read it. I told him I had read it and recommended, as a way in to Taleb, Fooled By Randomness and the essay The Fourth Quadrant; the latter (in my opinion) being much shorter and much more to the point than The Black Swan.

A few months later, Ed wrote a piece (I think for The Times) about Lord’s being the only place on earth where you can strike up a random conversation about Nassim Nicholas Taleb and end up chatting with someone who knows as much, if not more, about Taleb than you do!

Thursday

Originally there would have been no hope of getting to any more of the Worcestershire match, but in the event both of my Thursday business meetings were moved; in the case of the Z/Yen Board meeting brought forward to the Wednesday.

That enabled me to pick up a copy of Fooled By Randomness (we had a few) and take it to Lord’s with me for Ed on the Thursday. So as it turned out, I got to see two days of that match and spend a bit more time chatting with Ed Smith.

The only problem with that was the cricket, which was mostly seeing Middlesex getting beaten up by relatively lowly Worcestershire.

Here’s a link to the scorecard.

The MTWD reporter that third day, Southgate Emerald, is prone to call a spade a bleeding shovel; this day was no exception – click here.

I remember that I did watch the denouement of the Worcestershire match with Ed and I remember that we discussed whether the player’s minds were on topic or whether thoughts of Finals Day at the Rose Bowl were more to the fore. We also wondered whether the extra day’s rest would help Middlesex ahead of Saturday’s massive event. As I recall it, our combined wisdom concluded that we didn’t have a clue.

Sound judgement, that.

The Longest Groundhog Day, MTWD Report on Middlesex v Worcestershire Day One at Lord’s, Followed by the SGM That Wasn’t, 22 July 2008

I previewed the Special General Meeting (SGM) in an editorial piece a couple of weeks before the event – click here.

Basically I spent the day at the cricket and then the evening at the SGM that, in the end, wasn’t an SGM.

Confused? I’m not sure if my MTWD review of the day and evening will help you, but there’s only one way to find out – click here.

Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped the piece to Ogblog – only click the link below if the link above doesn’t work:

Middlesex till we die – The Longest Groundhog Day – Middx v Worcs Day One

Eight and a half years on, I have nothing to add to that report, other than hope that we never, ever, ever have to go through all that again!

Subterranean Homesick Highs, “MTWD Lost Masterpiece”, Middlesex v Leicestershire at Southgate Day 2, 12 September 2007

This is the last of my MTWD lost masterpieces. The background to the phenomenon of MTWD “lost masterpieces” is explained in this link – click here. In short, Sportnetwork permanently lost a swathe of published features from 2007.

But fear not; I tend to keep everything.

I need to explain some terms here. “Lover” is Gerry The Bookseller. The Special One and Special K is Murali Kartik. I wasn’t really reading ethics stuff for the Worshipful Company of Estate Realists (no, really not), but I was on the BCS Ethics Panel by then, so I suspect that I was reading papers pertaining to that role.

Subterranean Homesick Highs

 

“Ged feat. Lover” reports from a cavern beneath the mound that is The Walker Ground in Southgate. It was an up and down sort of day; Middlesex in the ascendancy and Leicestershire zooming in the other direction. Ged arrives late and misses lots of action, but Lover provides the vital update to enable Ged to complete his report.  Confused?  You will be.

 

Lover steps up to the plate and comes to the party

Ged had some business to attend to this morning, so he arrived at The Walker Ground 11:30/11:40 ish.  Ged neatly parked the Gedmobile (named Nobby) and spotted Lover chatting to someone at the Adelaide end.  Recalling that Lover is usually a punctual sort of chap, and recalling that Lover owed Ged a quid from a transaction earlier in the season, Ged spotted two opportunities.

“Morning Lover” says Ged, pausing only to watch his first ball of the day, with which Special K dispensed with Sadler – a nick through to Ben Scott.  “Seems I’ve brought the team some luck”, says Ged.  “Not really”, replies Lover, “that must be the fifth wicket this morning”.  “Cruumbs”, says Ged, ”good job I’ve run into you then; you can help be to cover the bit of the match I’ve missed”.  “Happy to help”, says Lover, “what do you need to know?”  “Tell me about all these wickets”, I ask.  And thus spake Lover.

“Well, it didn’t look too promising at first.  Lots of good deliveries but nothing quite coming off for Middlesex.  Then all the wickets started to fall.  That’s it really”

“Tell us about the wickets, Lover, the readers like to know about wickets,” Ged interjected.

“Kartik took most of them, I think, although Murtagh got one (or was it two?).  Anyway, they’re coming thick and fast now,” Lover mumbled.

“A little more detail, perhaps, Lover” Ged politely enquired.  “Means of dismissal, for instance?”.

“Who knows?  Who cares?  Make it up.  No-one will notice.  Say what you like and credit it to me.”  Lover had clearly reached his limit.

“I think I’ll suggest that Nixon signalled and then attempted a massive reverse sweep as part of the captain’s campaign to restore order to the innings, overbalanced and was stumped off a wide one when Scott did an acrobatic take and swipe”, I said, half expecting Lover to correct me and thus to glean the information I wanted that way.

“Yeh, it went something like that”, Lover muttered.

“Gosh, thanks Lover”, I said, “and by the way, you owe me a quid”.

 

In a Heap

Ged tries to set up his stall in a quiet corner of the Phil Edmonds excavation, but a particularly helpful steward tells him that he is too close to the scoreboard (about 15 yards away from it), so he’ll have to muck in with the rest further round.  Ged was especially impressed by the nice couple who subsequently set themselves up on the exact same spot, only to be confronted by the steward.  “Thank you”, they said, “we’ll move in a few minutes, when we’re ready” and then sat there for the rest of the day.  Civil disobedience; don’t ya love it?

Ged then saw the rest of Leicestershire collapse in a heap.  Henderson nicked one through to Scotty.  Masters played an ugly stroke to get caught at slip by Strauss off Special K (that was Special K’s fivefer), Jerome Taylor nicked Finn’s first ball of the day through to Scotty (fivefer for Scotty too) and Naik was soon to follow as a sixth for The Special One.

By this point, Ged was well placed in the Phil Edmonds excavation sitting near a couple of Leicestershire fans (one of whom coincidentally turned out to be John Maunders dad – people really will start to talk about Ged!).  They seemed unsurprised at the collapse and at least glad that Maunders had top scored for his team.

 

Batting again

By this time, Ged had made a start on his work.  The Worshipful Company of Estate Realists have asked Ged to help them put together a paper on ethics in the estate agency profession.  Unsurprisingly, there is little material to be had on this subject, but Ged wanted to have a look through the little that does exist (and remember that Government and Quango papers cannot weigh in at under 100 pages).  Best part of a day at the cricket would be ideal for such a task.

Middlesex started unsurprisingly slowly and seemed little troubled by Masters and Taylor up front – the latter being clearly the more challenging of the two.  Soon, Masters gave up in favour of Henderson, who bowled tight but didn’t look as tricky as The Special One.

Straussy decided to go the sweep route and Hendo had him LBW.  Billy the Kid and Captain Ted set a “steady as she goes” course through till tea.

Half an hour (eight overs to be precise) before tea, for some reason, Leics took a drink break.  Seemed odd.

Ged made some good headway with his reading and even made some notes, despite occasional interruptions from friends and neighbours.

 

Evening session

It was a beautiful late afternoon at Southgate – just as Ged always likes to ponder about the place – but it wasn’t to be a beautiful evening session for Billy the Kid.  First ball after tea, Hendo hits the Kid’s pad.  The umpire thinks for a moment, raises the finger and Billy the Kid looks back at the umpire with a look of utter astonishment.  The Kid drags himself off, with a couple of backward stares and then enters the players’ tent.  There is then the sound of willow on something other than leather from within the tent.  Big Perce would be apoplectic at this point; thank heavens he wasn’t there to see it.

Captain Ted and Joycey looked steady – indeed during this phase they looked to get on top of the bowling and the score advanced rapidly.  Jigar Naik (which sounded like a term of abuse when his name was announced over the tannoy) was mostly tight but also gave away a few.  Ryan Cummins (Ged wondered, Pooter-like, whether he was always goin’) was expensive.

Then the softest of dismissals for Joycey (he’s had that sort of season) and only a short stay for Captain Morgan who nicked the hapless Cummins through to Nixon for 1, which was 1 better than his first innings.  Ged lamented that he has yet to see Morgan demonstrate his budding, tremendous talent in a first class match.

Fifteen minutes before stumps (with just four overs remaining in the day) Leics take another drinks break.  The turkeys go bananas over in the Phil Edmonds excavation and a near riot is only averted by some excellent stewarding, especially the steward who has such precise ideas on where chairs can and cannot be placed in the excavation.

At this point, Ged decided that he didn’t want to get mixed up in crowd trouble and anyway he needed to avoid the traffic on a big footie night, and so Ged made an early exit.  Apparently Captain Ted reached his ton before stumps.  Perhaps someone who remained till the end could describe that moment and also let us know if there were further crowd incidents at the end of play.

So that’s it for Ged – no more live cricket this season.  Ged did get home in time to see the last 7 overs of Zimbabwe teaching the Aussies a lesson and Ged might as well get used to televised cricket for a while now.  But the memory of an early autumn evening at Southgate when the weather is spot on and Middlesex are doing well really does take some beating.  Which is probably more than can be said for Leicestershire just now.

If by any chance anyone is still reading and cannot guess what happened in the match, here is a link to the scorecard.

Thank Evans For Little Gullys, “MTWD Lost Masterpiece”, Middlesex v Gloucestershire at Lord’s Day 3, 24 August 2007

The background to the phenomenon of MTWD “lost masterpieces” is explained in this link – click here. In short, Sportnetwork permanently lost a swathe of published features from 2007.

But fear not; I tend to keep everything.

Readers will be delighted to learn that I didn’t really chair the judging of double-glazing awards, but I was chairing the National Payroll Giving Awards in those days.

Connoisseurs will notice Ged (that’s me) using the Vaughanian third person a great deal in this report.

Thank Evans For Little Gullys – Middlesex v Glos Day 3

Early Doors

Ged decided to do a day’s work at Lord’s today.  He has been asked to Chair a panel of the great and good judging for a prestigious awards event.  The UK Double Glazing Awards, sponsored by the Worshipful Company of Double-Glaziers and Sealed Unitarians.  Goodness alone knows why Ged has been asked to fulfil this important and pivotal role in the wheels of UK commerce, but some senior figures from industry, the civil service and the charity world are set to have their casting vote cast by Ged.

So, Ged gathered 28 award applications, his trusty digital tranny, a small bag of rations and off he set to Lord’s to spend the day watching cricket and marking award applications.

He didn’t leave home until 10:30, which would still enable him to get to Lord’s on time for the start by use of public transport or a Hackney Carriage, but part of Ged’s pleasure on such days is the 35 minute walk, so, suitably comforted and watered  he got to a seat in the middle tier of the pavilion between 10 and quarter past.  Ed Smith had added half a dozen runs to the overnight score.

 

Down to Business

While Strauss and Smith got down to business trying to build a score worth having, Ged got down to the alternative business of reading through several applications for the “Best Excuse For Dodgy Double-Glazing Craftsmanship 2007” Award.  The repetitive nature of the applicants’ claims chimed nicely with the metronomic accuracy of Lewis’ and Kirby’s bowling.  Both were unlucky not to take wickets, as they bowled well, although Smith and Strauss were rarely troubled that much.  Ged felt that seeing off the new ball pair would be vital.

Around an hour into play, Ged moved on to the “Best Use of Attractive Daughter as Decoy on Double-Glazing Sales Visit 2007” award; the delightful young lady who had accompanied such a salesman on a visit to Daisy’s house earlier in the year strangely had not been nominated.  And around that time Hardinges (announced by Mr Perambulate the announcer in the singular; “Harding”) came on to replace Kirby at the Pavilion End to bowl pies that were suitably despatched square (ahh, “square pies” I hear you all sigh) and in front of wicket for four with delightful regularity.

Lewis seemed to want to bowl at the Nursery End all morning, but eventually made way for debutant Tom Stayt.  This seemed to be a suitable time to move on to the “Best Repair of Double Glazing Damaged by a Cricket Ball 2007” award.  Straussy, by now motoring, clearly thought similarly, but on 75, just before lunch, he holed out attempting a big one off debutant Stayt; 135/2 and that’s lunch.

 

Lunch

Ged was very much aware that he wanted to follow the England game on his radio as well as the Middlesex game before his eyes.  And while he can cope with two sets of stimulation (Middlesex and Glazing), three simultaneous sources might blow his mind.  So he swiftly moved on to the largest category, “Best Telesales Bullshit About Discounts Only Being Available If You Sign Up For Double-Glazing Today 2007” award.  Abstemiously, Ged merely munched an apple and a small bag of almonds while he marked.  Such can be the glories of a pavilion lunch.

 

Afternoon Delight, Glaws Style

In the 35 minutes between the resumption and the start of the England game, Ged marked the last two categories quickly; only two applicants for each which made it easy; “Most Ludicrous Freebie Thrown In With Double-Glazing Order 2007” and “Most Flagrant Extra Charge For Something That Wasn’t Included in the Original Price”.  Meanwhile Joyce and Smith were going great guns.  Ged read the proposed eulogy for the “Special Award for Carbon-Neutral-New-PVC of the Year Award”, plugged in his ears for the England game and then set to, summarising his scores and filling in forms.

At this point, unbeknown to Ged at that time (Ged remaining in the Pav until completing his work), Barmy Kev arrived at Lord’s and took his seat in the Upper Eddy.  The score was 197/2 and Middlesex seemed to be cruising.  Then, against the run of play (although Kirby had been brought back at the Pavilion End), Joyce got one that really flew across him and he was caught well at slip.  Two balls later, Rymps played on trying to leave one.  Next over,  Stayt got Smith caught at slip.  And only one scratchy extra was added before Scott was caught behind of Stayt for a blob.  197/2 had becomme 198/6 and everyone was wondering whether or not Middlesex would manage even one batting bonus point.

By all accounts, at this point the Turkeys in the Upper Eddy offered Barmy Kev considerable sums of money to go away and never ever come back.  And by those same accounts Barmy “Goes4cash” Kev seriously considered their offer.

But Middlesex rallied a bit, Vaas and Murtagh eventually getting that vital 1st batting point.  Ged finished his work and decided to wander round to the Upper Eddy for a change of view.  Despite (or perhaps because of) his abstemious lunch, he accidentally bumped into the ice cream van and felt obliged to help out on a chilly day by parting company with £1.70 for a small cone with flake.

As Ged emerged at the top of the Upper Eddy, cone already long gone, the light was offered and accepted in return for an early tea, with 44 overs still remaining.

 

We Had Joy, We Had Fun, We Had Evans and Some Evening Sun

The Upper Eddy was the place to be for that evening session.  Early tea was a wise move, as no overs were lost and the light improved considerably in those 20 minutes and there were even hints of possible sunshine – indeed the sun shone for a reasonable chunk of that session.

Middlesex pressed on to 300+, despite losing Murtagh soon after tea, Murali Kartik managed, with minimal footwork, to support Cha Cha Vaas to a respectable Middlesex score.  305/7 was enough to convince Ed Smith that we wanted 30 overs at them tonight, so declaration came and there was much debate about whether this was too soon, too late or about right.

At 50/0 it looked as though Middlesex had goofed, but Ed called on debutant Danny Evans from the Pavilion End, who looked quicker than the “medium-fast” tag on  his cricnfo sheet and who induced a hoik behind square from Spearman, caught well by Joyce, a big first wicket in 1st class cricket. 1-1-0-1 read Evans figures after his 1st 1st class over.

But then the clouds returned briefly and Ed entered into negotiations with the umpires.  On came Kartik at the Nursery End and Rymps at the Pavilion End.  Soon Kartik had induced stumpings off Hodnett and Ali; Ed almost shook hands with umpire Burgess to thank him for the enforced but inspired owling change.

And when the sunlight returned, Murtagh and Richardson managed to snare one each before the close.

Could Middlesex induce a follow-on even from here?  Can Middlesex dictate terms to some extent to agree a sensible declaration, joke bowl and chase.  Glaws are -5 on over rate at the moment – pitiful really even without a spinner – play finished about 19:15 – so they might see such a scenario as a way to bag 2.5 points.

It’s really hard to get a match done in 2 days, but Middlesex did all the right things Day 3 to try to make that happen.

An excellent day of cricket at Lord’s, given the dire weather-affected match situation at the start of Day 3.

If by any chance anyone is still reading and keen to know what happened in the match – here is a link to the scorecard.

It Took Four Balls, “MTWD Lost Masterpiece”, Middlesex v Glamorgan Day 3, Lord’s, 2 August 2007

Having written up my recollection of this morning/lunch at Lord’s with Peter Cox, I realise that one of the Middlesex Till We Die (MTWD) “lost masterpieces” (click this link to read the background to those pieces) relates to that very same visit to Lord’s. Intriguing (at least for me) to read the differences and similarities. Very long match report for a short session of cricket – perhaps that was meant to be the joke. Another one for connoisseurs, this.

It Took Four Balls

Ged Ladd reports on the abridged Third Day of the Middlesex v Glamorgan match at Lord’s.  Ged meets up with Peter Granny-Hyphen-Smith to watch the denouement of this shortened match. And here, indeed is a “brief” match report, albeit almost as long as today’s session of play.

In early enough

Ged had arranged to meet up with his friend Peter Granny-Hyphen-Smith for an afternoon of business and cricket chat, so it needed a few phone calls and a very early start to enable Ged to switch to a morning/lunch meet instead.  But Ged has seen so little first class cricket this season, and Peter is about to go off on his travels, so appropriate action simply had to be taken.

Peter said he’d get to Lord’s early for a pre-match bacon sarny, but when Ged arrived at about 10:50 Peter was nowhere to be seen.  Ged did a tour of the Pavilion, exchanged pleasantries with several of the regulars and then, confident that Peter was not yet there, plonked himself in the Long Room – the place he knew to be Peter’s favoured view.

Vaastly Experienced

Ged was concerned that Peter might miss the whole thing if he had been delayed for too long, with Chaminda Vaas bowling well from the Nursery End straight away.  Silverwood looked even more threatening from the Pavilion End, but of course Croft and Wharf are no rabbits and looked determined to bat for a good while.

In any case, Peter arrived soon enough and the pitch seemed to be doing absolutely nothing.  As Ged expected, Peter was keen to watch from the Long Room high chairs – something Ged has only ever done for the odd few minutes before, so it was an interesting experience to watch a whole (albeit shortened) session of play from there.

Word from those who had been around the day before was that Glamorgan’s batting performance on Wednesday had been inexplicably awful – indeed some said that Middlesex’s 361 was woefully below par and that the Glamorgan response to being given a chance had been pathetic.

Brains

Silverwood had looked the more threatening of the opening bowlers and it was always going to be a simple matter of time.  Peter and I agreed that Murali “Special K” Kartik should be given the ball pretty quickly from the Nursery End and so he was.  But Silverwood struck first with an LBW shout against Croft that looked pretty handy and it was no surprise to see Vanburn Holder’s finger go up.

Croft marched through the Long Room looking pretty dejected and then out strode Dean Cosker.  Peter and I debated the relative merits of 9-10-Jack, Peter favouring Cosker and Ged favouring both of the others ahead of him.

Meanwhile Alex Wharf was not giving up without a bit of a fight, using his feet to good effect and clattering a couple of decent boundaries, including a well-struck six.

All too soon after his arrival, Dean Cosker decided that he knew how to handle “The Special One” and danced down the wicket to a flat, quicker one.  It was certainly missing leg and it was certainly missing off.  It was also certainly a quicker ball because it took middle peg right out of it slot.  Always good fun to witness that.

As Dean Cosker marched off, I noticed the promotional message on his chest, Brains Beer, and observed to Peter that Cosker’s shot was hardly a good advert for that product.  A more brainless shot while attempting to save a match I couldn’t imagine.

Salivating Thoughts of a Win

So, out comes Waters and Alex Wharf continues to bat well.  Another big six entertains the tiny crowd.  Wharf seemed particularly assured against Special K, but set against both.  Soon enough, Richardson replaces Silverwood at the Pavilion End and eventually Murtagh replaces Special K at the Nursery End.  I suppose, to be fair, Ed Smith was holding out on Kartik’s behalf in the hope he could get a tenfer.  Indeed, he probably deserved a tenfer given that he had taken 9 good ones on a track that was offering him the square root of naff-all.

Tim Murtagh was putting the ball in the right place straight away.  Peter and I discussed that dreadful clichéd expression “putting the ball in the right areas”.  We even discussed whether the plural was a reference to Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle.  I think a journalist should ask a player that question next time he uses the offending expression.  It would be good to hear the answer.

By now it was a little after 12:30.  Peter announced that he was mighty hungry and had a crazy craving for the bacon sarny he missed earlier by arriving later than intended.  He even got up and wandered into the Long Room Bar to see what was available and toyed with the idea of skiving off to eat before the end of the match and/or lunch.

Mercifully, such sentiments can induce a wicket or two.  So, it wasn’t long before Murtagh put his hand up, stepped up to the plate, came to the party and put the ball in enough of the right areas to induce a false shot from Waters.  Attempting to clip the ball off his legs, Waters mistimed it high into the air, indeed almost over Nick Compton’s head at square leg and it took a good leaping catch (perhaps milked a tad) to bring about the wicket.

And very soon after that, one from Richardson kept low to Alex Wharf.  When Ged says “that’s got to be out” for an LBW shout the finger rarely fails to go up.  Vanburn Holder duly raised his finger, the Middlesex boys did a little jig of delight to celebrate an emphatic win and the Ged/Peter combo dipped out of the Long Room sharpish to ensure that they were first in the queue for grubsy and beer.

Only Two Ducks Today

So there were only two ducks today – the two that appeared on Peter and Ged’s plates.  Washed down with a decent beer each, the conversation turned to matters of playing cricket as well as watching cricket.  Oh, and the occasional business matter, which had allegedly been the object of the exercise in the first place.

Had Glamorgan shown as much spirit for the first 16 wickets that they showed for the last four, they might have made a bit more of a fight of this match.  But they didn’t.  And Middlesex have a fine bowling attack this season, so we can exploit weakness when weakness is shown.

Peter Granny-Hyphen-Smith is still optimistic that Middlesex can go up; he thinks that we can beat Notts at Lord’s and that our games in hand, coming in (hopefully) better weather conditions, stand us in better stead than the league table looks at the moment.  Ged remains quietly hopeful but not quite so optimistic.  But for today, let’s enjoy the moment of a big win and hope for more such wins to come.

 

Lunch With Peter Cox/Middlesex v Glamorgan Day 3 at Lord’s, 2 August 2007

This was a slightly strange day. Peter Cox and I had agreed to meet for an informal catch-up at Lord’s this afternoon, during this Middlesex v Glamorgan match. The match was unfolding quickly, with Glamorgan following on and ending the second day six down, second time around. With the prospect of very little play, Peter and I re-jigged our plans to meet up at Lord’s in the morning and have a spot of lunch together for our catch up.

Meanwhile, I had visited mum and dad the evening before and realised that dad must be dying – he just looked so frail and spaced out. I said as much to Janie as I was driving home, indeed wondering how dad even had the strength to get upstairs to bed. (Answer – the following night; the early hours of Friday morning, he didn’t have the strength).

My diary says I had a training session at the gym with Becca at 6:30 that Thursday morning, so I guess I had time to go home and clear my morning e-mails before ambling over to Lord’s for 11:00.

The cricket didn’t take long to unfold – Wharf and Croft showed some resistance for a few minutes but then Croft fell and soon after the inevitable happened. I’m not sure that Peter and I even left the cosseted splendour of the Long Room that August morning. It was nice to witness a match win and the end of match formalities from the Long Room.

Peter and I then went to the Long Room Bar (a place where I rarely dine) for lunch and to continue our conversation, which naturally drifted into ageing parents territory as well as the cricket and bit of business we’d planned to discuss.

Middlebrook Mauls Middlesex, “MTWD Lost Masterpiece”, Middlesex v Essex at Lord’s, Day One, 15 June 2007

The background to the phenomenon of MTWD “lost masterpieces” is explained in this link – click here. In short, Sportnetwork permanently lost a swathe of published features from 2007.

But fear not; I tend to keep everything. So the following report, a visit to Lord’s with Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett, is available here for all to see.

I can think of at least two people who should still find this report interesting and amusing.

Middlebrook Mauls Middlesex

 

Ged Ladd reports on day one of the CC game against Essex at Lord’s.  Ged’s guest, Charley “The Gent” Malloy, returns for more cricket this year.  Charley, who last year was Durham to the core by the end of that day, turns out to be the quintessential Essex boy by the end of this day.   But the worst performance was the weather forecaster – the only real shower was some of the afternoon bowling.

 

Fashionably Late, Again

At 10:10 Ged receives a text from his guest, Charley “The Gent” Malloy, stating that he as at Newbury Park tube but still hopes to get to Lord’s for the start of play.  Some hope, thinks Ged, who sets off 5 minutes later, as planned, picnic in hand.

Ged arrives in time for the start of play and decides to go to the Upper Allen for a short time to watch while waiting for Charley.  Ged bumps in to Gerry the Bookseller up there, who gets very excited at the thought that Charley is coming, as there’s always a chance of book business when Charley is around.

Charley arrives surprisingly quickly, before 11:15, so he and Ged decamp to the Pavilion to enjoy some “behind the bowler’s arm” stuff.   From there, Silverwood’s LBWs looked pretty good to us – indeed Pettini could easily have gone LBW a couple of balls before he actually did go.

There was just a smidgeon of swing and the constant fall of wickets seemed odd given the flatness of the pitch.  Silvers and Vaas bowled well, as did Murtagh before he pulled up.

I saw that Murtagh injury as a really ominous sign, even while the wickets were falling, but daren’t mention it to Charley who was weakening his pint of Pedigree by crying into it.  Charley tried to remind me that he was a Durham man really, but I don’t fall for that stuff any more.  He consoles himself with some sausages and sausage rolls as nibbles – very nice with the Pedi.

Everything went right for Middlesex in the morning.  Ed Smith must have juggled Foster three or four times before holding on to the slip chance, for example.

Five down at lunch – what a great start for Middlesex.  We’re told that Chester-Le-Street is rained off for the day.

 

Luncheon

We take luncheon in the Coronation Gardens.  Pastrami and Swiss rolls washed down with a nice South African red.  We watch some youngsters playing cricket on the lawn – as usual Charley can hardly hold himself back from joining in.   Eventually the ball comes my way, so I indicate that I’d like to bowl it back.  I bowl a piercing Yorker at the lad who digs it out very well.  “Oh”, says the school master (straight from central casting in look and voice), “would you mind bowling him another?”  Naturally I oblige; another Yorker, another good safe defensive shot.  Charley looks well left out.  “May my friend have a go?” I ask.  “Of course,” says the school master.  So Charley takes the heavy-rubber practice ball and bowls a bouncer, which the young batsman leaves to sail a couple of inches past his nose.  “That’s what I was telling you about Andy Roberts” says the schoolmaster, “fiendish bouncers he bowled”.  How can you bowl a bouncer at a kid like that?  Charley’s problem is that he gets overexcited very easily, where cricket is concerned at least.

 

Lovely afternoon weatherwise

Given the weather forecast, and the fact it was clouding over, we thought we’d be lucky to see much cricket after lunch.  But the tiny shower soon cleared and Middlesex took a quick wicket after lunch.  Bichel joined Middlebrook and there they stayed for what seemed like ever.

We went to the bowlers bar and got chatting with some friends of mine – some more recent Lord’s acquaintances, some old friends from years gone by.  We drank, we watched a bit, we wandered round to the Upper Edrich, we wandered round to the Mound Stand.  We watched.  We ate some more (smoked salmon rolls, ginger biscuits).

Charley, of course, became increasingly Essex as the day went on and as the game turned Essex’s way.  Indeed, by the end he was telling me tales of bravery walking through Romford Estates at 3.00 a.m. or some such.  I wasn’t really listening.

Bichel holed out as soon as he reached his well-deserved 100.

The new ball did nothing – indeed Kartik and Joyce were bowling with it by the close of play.  Joyce had a big caught behind shout turned down.

 

So What Went Wrong for Middlesex?

Losing Murtagh right at the start was a huge blow.  If only we could have finished Essex off when we had them on the ropes, but now this match looks like a tough one, unless we can post a monster first innings score.  Frankly, there seems to be nothing in the wicket so perhaps that monster score is possible.

Rymps’ bowling looked well below par to me.  Silvers, Vaas and Kartik all bowled well but three main bowlers ain’t enough.  Kartik in particular I thought deserved more luck.  Ben Scott looked woefully out of sorts behind the stumps.  Most of the fielding was energetic and fine – the odd lapse but there usually is when in the field all day.

And you have to hand it to Middlebook, Bichel and latterly Tudor who batted well and made the most of the circumstances.

And of course the inspired captaincy of Pettini, not declaring on 97/6.

As always, of course, I still enjoyed my day at Lord’s.  As I always say on these occasions, I cannot spend a day watching 1st class cricket and not enjoy it.  And of course, as always, Charley “The Gent” and I have developed a cunning master plan for winning our “UnPro 40” match this year.  Our plot last year was so successful (we won at a canter) we actually need an even more cunning plan this year to ensure that we win, but only just.  Similarly, I don’t mind if Middlesex merely scrape a win out of this match now!  Indeed, a 12 point draw would be fine from here.

If by any chance anyone is still reading and wishes to see the scorecard from this match, here is a link to that very card.

The Saga Of A Four Day Match, Including Several MTWD Lost Masterpieces, Middlesex v Somerset At Lord’s, 2 June 2007

Janie (Daisy) and I witnessed the very end of this match, by diverting to Lord’s after playing tennis at Boston Manor on the Saturday morning and watching the denouement in our tennis clobber from the Upper Edrich.

It was the first time that either of us had seen the conclusion of a first class match live.

Here is a link to the scorecard and Cricinfo resources for that match.

But there had been a saga to that match, not least the rather shameful first innings declaration by Justin Langer at 50/8 simply to deny Middlesex a bowling point. Such gaming of the points system is now prohibited.

I wanted to trawl back through the Middlesex Till We Die (MTWD) reports to read up on the incident, but, irritatingly, those reports were part of the “lost masterpieces” period – a few months for which Sportnetwork lost all archives. 

Even more irritatingly, when I dug out the draft submissions (I was editing MTWD back then) there was no submission for Day Two – the day of the debacle.

…but…

…the three submissions were from Auntie Janet (Day One), Pistol Pete (Day Three) and Derek “The Diamond Ruled OK” Britton (Day Four). Seeing those submissions brought back bittersweet memories.

In particular, seeing my correspondence with and the submission from Diamond. I am writing this in the summer of 2018, having learnt a few weeks ago that, tragically, Diamond died suddenly and totally unexpectedly over the winter. He was always good company at the matches and Middlesex events. I also very much enjoyed his writing, which was folksy, unpretentious and direct. His Day Four piece for this match is not his best piece, but still it is unquestionably in Diamond’s voice.

So shine on you crazy Diamond…

…with permission from Barmy Kev, who is now the curator of MTWD and therefore technically the custodian of the lost masterpieces (even though I am the only person still to have the copies)…

…here are all three of the reports in their originally submitted form – I have not tried to re-edit them:

Middlesex v Somerset at Lord’s 30 May to 2 June 2007

MTWD “Lost Masterpieces” Reports

Day One

Published as “Mad Dog of an Englishwoman Goes To Lord’s”

by Auntie Janet

Mad dog of an Englishwoman goes to Lord’s when it is raining

(What I did to pass the time when it rained)

I knew that the weather was going to be ‘dodgy’ today, but hey I needed a live cricket fix. Surely we’ll get some cricket.

My trusty alarm first meowed at 4.30am (an improvement on 2.30am) and I told her to go away. She then woke me at 6.50am. Heck she shouldn’t be hungry, what with all the tuna she ate at my friends (yes she does house calls also) yesterday. Still I needed to get up and prepare my food so I got up and fed them.

I made myself a strong cup of coffee and set about preparing my ‘picnic’. Bother the cats have smelt the tuna and are under my feet…….. I suppose I’d better give them some before they trip me up. According to Sky sports news the weather is decidedly dodgy, but I’m still going – after all it can’t be worse than watching the rain fall at the Oval.

As the weather has turned cold, I had to get winter woollies out of storage and my winter coat (no ‘reporter’s t-shirt today).

I left home at 8.35am and it was drizzling, however by the time I got to the 253 bus stop the sun was trying to come out and the drizzle was definitely lighter in Camden town. When I got off the 274 near Lord’s the pavements were dry, but it had started raining by the time I got to Lord’s.

I ensconced myself in the Middlesex room after buying a programme. I’ll go outside when play starts. Hooray it has stopped raining and the ground staff have started to remove the covers and the umpires are out (definitely a hopeful sign).

The wicket is almost central albeit slightly to the ‘Mound stand’ side.

Drat why did I buy those caramelised cashews? I can’t stop eating them (they are rather moreish) and I would like them to last longer than one day.

On flicking through the programme I notice that last time we played Somerset at Lord’s in the CC was 1998 and we won by 211 runs. But Langer was playing for us then, however I feel that this is a good omen.

Good news the hover cover has been removed but it sounds decidedly unhealthy. The umpires have decided play can begin at 11.45am. Ed Smith won the toss and decided to field. Chris Wright is playing instead of Vaas (I later found out that Vaas still does not feel well). Question: Where is Chad?

It is grey and murky overhead and cold. Ball should swing nicely in these conditions. Now where’s my camera Silvers is bowling. He sends down 3 deliveries, they ALL beat Trescothick’s bat ……………. And the light is offered and Trescothick takes it. Someone from the Mound stand yelled ‘chicken’, but then it did start raining again.

Wot no Hover?

The ground staff certainly took their time putting covers on. They used tarpaulins and not the hover. I later found out that the hover had engine failure and had to be repaired. An early lunch was called. Trouble is that with no play my thoughts turned to food. I rooted in my bag and ate the bagel filled with mushroom salad and tuna/mayo. An experiment I found that I liked so I’ll be making this ‘mixture’ again. I then ate two chocolates. Mmm I’d better eat some salad and an apple. I found that I’d packed some cherry cakes (courtesy Sharon Bakery) and ate one of these before the apple making the apple taste extremely sour.

Very pretty we now have flashing lights on the scoreboard depicting rain.

Drat I thought I’d nearly finished the Telegraph Sudoku but have gone wrong. I’ll have to rub it out and start again (I do it in pencil). I did do the Sudoku at second attempt and started the ‘tough’ one inside the telegraph. I have brought my knitting but have wasted a lot of time doing the Sudoku.

It is brightening up but still raining and the umpires do come out from time to time. 3.15 pm and there is activity in the middle – the ground staff are brushing the water off the covers. I’ve wasted enough time on Sudoku, time to get the knitting out. At least with my hands occupied I can’t eat.

At 3.30pm I got a text from a friend in Hampshire saying it had stopped raining there, so would clear later at Lord’s. At 3.40pm an early tea is taken. It is still drizzling but getting brighter all the time, in fact it’s the brightest it’s been.

4.05pm and the umpires plus David Nash are out, and it looks like it has stopped raining and the covers are coming off.

There are now blue skies above and as there are damp patches play scheduled to start at 5.30pm.

As the Somerset players come back from the nets, Trescothick is limping quite badly, and Trego is mimicking him.

Now one or two wickets tonight would be nice! Silvers finished his first over and Trescothick finally managed to get bat to ball! Richo bowled from the Nursery end. In Silvers second over, on his 3rd lbw appeal he got one. Edwards for 0 (9/1). The ball was seaming and moving all over the place. Silvers was fielding near me during Richo’s over and he said to get one of the two at the crease would be nice. I said get Cameron White as well and he said that White would get himself out.

In Silvers next over he clean bowled Langer for 0 (9/2). Murtagh is now bowling from Nursery end and in his second over bowls Trescothick (19/3).

Gosh what a good start. Pitch obviously been ‘juiced up’ by the use of tarpaulins and not the hover.

Chris Wright now bowling from the pavilion end and with his 3rd ball gets White caught behind (24/4), and he almost got Blackie with his 5th. All our boys definitely thought Blackie had nicked one also but the umpire did not give it. They closed on 36/4 so a satisfying hour for our boys.

Silvers was right about White as he probably though he could slog Wright all over the ground.

I then went to get some autographs, the high point being that someone my friends call ‘neckbrace’ (as he used to wear one, and I don’t know the guys name) actually asked Justin Langer who was he.

Day Two

…went unreported…

…which is a shame, as this was the infamous day that Justin Langer declared at 50/8 to deny Middlesex a bowling point…

e-mail from Ged to Barmy Kev the next day:

“We ended up with no-one yesterday, which is a shame. We have Pistol Pete lined up for today and potentially Saturday if needed. Ged Ladd himself might do Saturday if there is enough left in the game overnight (even Daisy has shown interest in seeing some 4 day cricket!).”

Day Three

Published As “Middlesex Home In On The Win”

by Pistol Pete

MATCH: Somerset home day 3

DATE: 1/6/07

VENUE: Lord’s

The weather forecast was ‘heavy showers’ but at the start of the day there was no sign of rain, and the pitch had a green tinge which indicated that there would still be some help for the quick bowlers. This proved to be the case as Kieswetter played a loose drive at the second ball of the day from Chris Silverwood and was comfortably taken at 3rd slip by Ed Joyce. Shortly afterwards Peter Trego got a fine edge from Silvers to a ball that moved away and was caught behind, and when Langer was lbw to Tim Murtagh to make the score 60-5, the view in the Warner stand was that it would be all over by lunch…

White and Hilditch were still being troubled by the moving ball, Hilditch playing one cover drive that went in the direction of backward square leg, but with the sun out, the pitch was easing and the ball was getting older, and batting gradually became easier. At 12.30 we were -3 on the over rate, so Jamie D came on, which improved the over rate but there was nothing in the pitch for him and lunch was taken at 148-5, still 50-odd behind.

For those of you interested in culinary matters, your correspondent’s lunch (or perhaps luncheon, since we are at Lord’s) was cheese and onion sandwiches and a couple of pints of Adnams in the Windsor Castle.

White and Hilditch continued at a run a minute after lunch (hopefully satisfying the pitch inspectors if not the Middlesex supporters) and Somerset were approaching the Middlesex score when Silvers produced a beauty which White edged and was splendidly caught by David Nash diving to his right. When Blackwell edged Silvers’ next delivery into the safe (as I thought then) hands of Ed Joyce, the score was 189-7, Somerset were still behind and the view in the Mound stand was that it would be all over by tea…

However Hilditch was still batting well and found an unlikely partner in Steffan Jones. We had lost Alan Richardson; he seemed to fall while delivering the ball and couldn’t finish the over. I don’t think he was limping as he went off but don’t know what the problem was. Also by this time Silvers and Tim were knackered and what energy they had left had to be saved for the new ball. So Hilditch and Jones put on 50 in even time, another 50 in 25 minutes and we were beginning to look a bit threadbare. The new ball was taken 2 overs before tea, and Hilditch was dropped by Ed Joyce off Tim. As gully catches go, it was pretty simple (sorry Ed) Tea was taken at 323-7 (Hilditch 125, Jones 56, 121 ahead)

It was darker after tea and the umpires spoke a couple of times but play continued. I thought that we really needed to finish them off quickly with the new ball before Silvers and Tim were completely exhausted, as Richo was still off and Chris Wright and Jamie D hadn’t looked threatening. And thankfully that’s what happened. Silvers bowled Hilditch, Ed J dropped Jones, and Murtagh had Caddick lbw, then bowled Willoughby as he attempted to heave the ball over the Mound stand. Phew.

So we need 138. Nick and Billy were obviously not interested in trying to finish today (there would have been 32 overs if we had taken the extra half-hour), and they didn’t have a great deal of trouble. There was one appeal for caught behind off Nick, then Trego got Billy lbw for 31 with a swinging yorker. Ace and Nick saw us to the close at 72-1, more than half way there. The view in the Edrich stand was that it would be all over by lunch tomorrow, and if the weather holds, I think they may be right.

Summary: A really engrossing day’s play. A heroic effort from Silvers, who must have the player of the month award for June sown up already. We lost our way a bit in the afternoon, but you can’t really expect to win every session, especially without Chaminder and Murali, and it looks like we are going to beat a pretty decent team, and with 11 England qualified players in our side.

Day Four

Submitted as “The whipping of the Wyverns”

Published as “Tears In My Cider”

by the late, lamented Derek Britton, aka The Diamond Ruled OK

Journey story .

No real tale to tell here today except for a successful trip up to Lord’s with no delays. Those services that had delays, closures or cancellations on them were being well announced on both stations and trains. It would seem that the London Underground PR department have learnt a thing or two in recent times, like if you are going to inconvenience your customers at least let them know what’s happening. The skies that had been clear and cloudless since dawn in West London were the same when I emerged from St John’s Wood tube at about 10.30am. Dry overnight and a virtually windless day it was going to be hard work for our visitors from the West to get anything out of this game bar the early train out of Paddington. Stopping us scoring 66 off the available overs with 9 wickets in hand would also cause them problems.

The play.

I picked up a scorecard and on turning it over was amazed to find a runs per over section to cover the 50 over games. This is something we have lacked for years and well done to whoever has decided to innovate this.

Ace and Compo resumed the innings with Somerset -1 on the over rate. Any ideas of this pair seeing us through to the win were terminated by Trego’s second ball which Compo fenced to Trescothick in the slips, gone for his overnight score of 21. The first ball Joyce received was well wide and acknowledged as such by the umpire, this was greeted with cheering and applause by the sparse crowd. The target is soon below 50 with some good shots being played by both batsmen who were getting 4’s to all parts off both Trego and Caddick There was a point were I felt certain that Ed was under orders from Woody to get the game over with so he could get to Epsom to watch the Derby this afternoon! The 100 came up really quickly and Langer had the ball looked at by the umpires, it was not changed, stop bowling dross that hits the fence and it won’t go out of shape will it !!

The target ever closer and the over rate still behind Langer took off Trego and Caddick and replaced them with White and Mackay (sorry, Jones).This got the over rate back to par but the steady flow of singles and a very well taken two by Ace to some sloppy fielding saw us to within 22 of the win. The 50 partnership came up in 42 minutes.

Time for a pint me thinks. In the time it took me to fight my way through the hordes at the bar, I mean walk up to it and have the young lady pull me a Marstons Ed had knocked of 5 more of the total required. Give us a chance to get my pint Ed let alone drink it won’t you!! The end of the 36th over of the innings saw us 2 runs from the win and Ace heading back to the pavilion early having played Jones straight into the hands of Trego while going for the winning boundary (136-3). Enter Skipper, EJ gets a single to tie the game and ES hits one off his second ball to gain us 18 lovely points.

Smith: not out 1, Joyce: not out 45. Well played lads now take the rest of the day off.

Ed Joyce was the star of the day with his 45 not out (to go with his 42 from the first innings) but the guy who won us the match has to be Woody, enjoy your racing this afternoon sir. 9-62 in the match (should have been 10 but there we go). The figures that really matter are those 18 secured in the points column.

 

Middlesex v Northants Day Two With Geoff Young, Day Three With Michael Mainelli, Lord’s, 26 & 27 April 2007

Day Two – 26 April 2007

I have little to add to the extensive report I wrote about Day 2 on MTWD: Click here for a link to my MTWD match report for the day.

Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD, I have scraped that report to here.

Geoff Young is a Northamptonshire-supporting stalwart of the Tufty Stackpole team we used to play matches against as and for The Children’s Society. Several such matches will be Ogblogged in the fullness of time – here is one example, if you like a long read, which was the most recent match when Geoff and I went to Lord’s that day in April 2007:

Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society, North Crawley CC, “Match Report”, 30 July 2006

For those who don’t want to read the MTWD Day 2 match report, it basically says that Geoff and I had a very enjoyable day at Lord’s – a bit more enjoyable for me based on the cricket – with a picnic lunch of the “Ian/Ged” standard variety – i.e. splendid.

Day Three – 27 April 2007

In those days Michael Mainelli (Timothy Tiberelli) and I had a traditional visit to Lord’s at least once a season – usually early season, which we called a Stumpfmerde session. We had a long standing tradition of occasional “Stiermerde” (bullshit) sessions to talk about strategic matters for the business. The Stumpfmerde was a “with cricket” variant.

I could tell you about the strategic matters we discussed that day…but I’d probably then have to kill you and believe me it wouldn’t be worth it.

Michael’s follow up note started with:

Great Stumpfmerde.  Glad to see our boys crushed ’em on Saturday.

I like the way he thinks of Middlesex as “our boys”.

To see the Cricinfo scorecard for the whole match, click here.

On the Saturday, after following Middlesex’s win on the Internet Radio, Janie and I watched the conclusion of the World Cup Final on the TV – a very cricket heavy few days for me.

Middlesex v Lancashire Day 3 at Lord’s 23 June 2006, Arabian Nights Party at Sandall Close 24 June 2006

Arabian Nights or Moroccan Den?

At the time of writing (January 2017) I was sent scurrying for my 2006 diary when King Cricket reported that Lancastrian cricketer Tom Smith had retired.

Like King Cricket, I first saw Tom Smith play in the summer of 2006, but in my case it was June and the weather was lovely.

My diary simply has a line through the Friday daytime and the word “Lord’s”. That means I went to Lord’s with me, myself and a heap of reading.

By the start of Day 3 (the Friday), the result of the match was barely in doubt; it was really only a question of whether Middlesex could salvage some pride and bat for a day on the road we call the Lord’s pitch.

Click here for the match scorecard.

I remember that day at Lord’s primarily for one silly thing, which, as it happens, did involve Tom Smith.

I chose to follow the sun (top up the tan for tomorrow’s party), so by the afternoon I had plonked myself in the front row of the Mound Stand, closer to the Edrich than the Tavern.

Scott Styris in particular was batting well; with some aggression as well as for survival. On one occasion Styris lofted the ball into vacant space, in my direction; a couple of bounces, then the ball bounced up and pretty much landed on my lap. To this day it is the only time I can recall the ball absolutely coming to me, personally, while watching a professional match.

I had on my lap at that juncture not only the book I was reading but also an apple I was about to munch by way of light lunch.

Tom Smith arrived to gather the ball. I considered throwing him the apple rather than the ball but momentarily thought better of it and simply threw him the ball. I then spent the rest of the afternoon regretting that I hadn’t played that practical joke on Tom Smith.

Smith looked very sharp as a pace bowler back then. I remember being very impressed with him, even though his figures for the day don’t look special. He looked “the lad most likely” that afternoon on a very flat track and I remember carrying high hopes for him as an England bowling prospect for a few years.

Saturday 24 June 2006

There is a line through Saturday which reads “party”, as it was the day of the famous “Arabian Nights/Moroccan Den” party at Daisy’s old maisonette in Sandall Close.

Tony (downstairs) let us use his garden as well as ours (in return for an invitation). Kim and DJ’s company, Theme Traders, themed the gardens up for the party (see picture above).

The weather was glorious for that one and the party really was a huge success. I struggled to take photographs on the night (enjoying myself too much and then couldn’t get the flash to flash) but perhaps some better pictures will emerge from friends.

I can just about make out Bobbie and John-Boy in the background. Tony in the foreground and a few members of the family.

There were quite a lot of people at the party; a few dozen anyway. I’m pretty sure I recall Bobbie, her Dave, Andrea and one or two others hanging around with us until very late indeed; it was one of those parties that people didn’t want to end.

I had just acquired my first iPod and I made up a good playlist for this party. I’ll dump the playlist in a file and attach it as an aside later.

Daisy (Janie) might well want to chip in with some memories of this party too.