Tag: Gordon Brown

Beckett, Prescott And Amazing Tony Blair, NewsRevue Lyric, 19 June 1994

More than a year after introducing Tony Blair as a NewsRevue song character (April 1993) – click here for that first version and links to original versions of the song – he became the front runner to lead the Labour party and I was able to revive my “Amazing Tony Blair” song to the tune of Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear.

I wrote a few 1994 sub-versions, one a little earlier than the one shown below, during the European elections in May 1994, and another after the leadership election, dated 22 July 1994, but the version below from the leadership election I think was the better of the three.

This song ran and ran in NewsRevue. I particularly remember the superb Jonathan Linsley doing a fine Prescott for it, having previously been a fine John Smith.

♬ BECKETT, PRESCOTT AND AMAZING TONY BLAIR ♬

(To the Tune of “Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear”)

VERSE 1

BECKETT:                 I may campaign tomorrow,

Despite the sorrow, that Labour bear;

Now John Smith is a stiff,

I shall heal the rift, that is bound to flare.

SHORT:                      John Prescott’s impulsive,

BROWN:                    Beckett’s repulsive;

BROWN/BLAIR:      But Gordon Brown and Tony Blair,

Are the Labour Party conference pair,

Despite the fact we are square, we two can lead.

VERSE 2

BECKETT/SHORT:   For Europe Margaret Beckett,

Secured our ticket, in June out there;

BROWN/BLAIR:      But voters say she’s scraggy,

Another Maggie’s, too much to bear;

The Sun says she’s phoney, the press all love Tony;

BECKETT/SHORT:   Oh who would think that Marge and Claire,

Would appeal so well in the public glare,

And Labour voters out there, seem very pleased.

PIANO BIT

(During which individuals speak to the “voters” in the audience and try to upstage each other)

BECKETT:     Please don’t wreck it – vote for Beckett. Labour’s next leader.

BROWN:        I’m not down, so don’t vote for Gordon Brown.

PRESCOTT:   (pianist?) Labour’s best shot, vote for Prescott.

BLAIR:           The press prefer Tony Blur. (Looks displeased as soon as he has said it)

OUTRO

CHORUS:                  Our nearest and dearest, say we’re not careerist;

We won in Europe fair and square, and the leader’s seat is going spare,

BECKETT:                 Choose Beckett,

PRESCOTT:               Prescott,

BROWN:                    Vote,

BLAIR:                       Amazing Tony Blair.

copyright © Ian Harris 1994

In October 1995 I wrote the following update:

SHORT, BECKETT, PRESCOTT AND THE AMAZING TONY BLAIRE
(To the Tune of “Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear”)

VERSE 1

BLAIRE: I may campaign tomorrow, if I can borrow some more hot air;
Oh I’ll contend in style with my sincere smile cos I’m Tony Blaire.
PRESCOTT: He’s Christian and zealous,
BLAIRE: Prescott’s just jealous;
SHORT/BECKETT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would be so accepted everywhere,
Despite his suits and big hair, we’re in the lead.

VERSE 2

BECKETT: At conference Margaret Beckett…….
SHORT: She topped the ticket as Labour’s mare;
PRESCOTT: But voters think she’s scraggy,
Another Maggie’s, too much to bear;
BLAIRE: The others are phoney, the press all love Tony;
BECKETT/SHORT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would appeal to women more than Claire,
PRESCOTT: The Socialists left out there aren’t very pleased.

PIANO BIT

BECKETT: Vote for Labour, the party that believes in….um….um……um……John?
PRESCOTT: If you’re finally ready for a genuine, truly Socialist Government……… leave the country…I mean vote Labour….Claire?
SHORT: We have policies that the people of Britain really want. Let me give you an example…..um…..um…….Tony?
BLAIRE: Vote for me. God is on my side.

OUTRO

PRESCOTT:: He thinks “love thy neighbour” is Clause 4 of Labour,
BLAIRE: Our principles are just hot air, but we’ll get the votes so we don’t care;
SHORT: Short,
BECKETT: Beckett,
PRESCOTT: Prescott,
BLAIRE: and the Amazing Tony Blaire.

And finally, in March 1996, the following one:

SHORT, BECKETT, PRESCOTT AND THE AMAZING TONY BLAIRE
(To the Tune of “Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear”)

VERSE 1

BLAIRE: I may campaign tomorrow, if I can borrow some more hot air;
Oh I’ll contend in style with my sincere smile cos I’m Tony Blaire.
PRESCOTT: He’s Christian and zealous,
BLAIRE: Prescott’s just jealous;
SHORT/BECKETT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would be so accepted everywhere,
Despite his suits and big hair, we’re in the lead.

VERSE 2

BECKETT: At conference Margaret Beckett…….
SHORT: Could top the ticket as Labour’s mare;
PRESCOTT: But voters think she’s scraggy,
Another Maggie’s, too much to bear;
BLAIRE: The others are phoney, the people love Tony;
BECKETT/SHORT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would appeal to women more than Claire,
PRESCOTT: But Socialists left out there aren’t very pleased.

PIANO BIT

BECKETT: Vote for Labour, the party that believes in….um….um……um……John?
PRESCOTT: If you’re finally ready for a genuine, truly Socialist Government……… leave the country…I mean vote Labour….Claire?
SHORT: We have policies that the people of Britain really want. Let me give you an example…..um…..um…….Tony?
BLAIRE: Vote for me. God is on my side.

OUTRO

PRESCOTT:: He thinks “love thy neighbour” is Clause 4 of Labour,
BLAIRE: Our principles are just hot air, but we’ll get the votes so we don’t care;
SHORT: Short,
BECKETT: Beckett,
PRESCOTT: Prescott,
BLAIRE: and the Amazing Tony Blaire.

Gordon Brown, NewsRevue Lyric, Much Used & Revised, Original Version 17 June 1993

This lyric about Gordon Brown certainly went the distance for many years in NewsRevue – periodically being revised. In fact, it has surprised me to find that the original version was as early as June 1993. But here it is:

GORDON BROWN

(To the Tune of “Golden Brown”)
 
VERSE 1
 
Gordon Brown, Labour’s first son,
Scottish brogue, like a Glasweigan;
Throughout the weeks, talks through his cheeks,
Speaker may drown, with Gordon Brown.
 
VERSE 2
 
Gordon Brown, shadow finance,
Hates Ken Clarke’s monetary stance;
Don’t reinflate, low interest rate,
Uniform pound, from Gordon Brown.
 
VERSE 3
 
Gordon Brown, thick wavy hair,
Don’t confuse, him with Tony Blair;
Fat cheeks and jowls, he always scowls,
‘cept when he frowns, that’s Gordon Brown.
 
(Optional fade out, as in original, “Never a clown, with Gordon Brown”)
 

Here is a link to Golden Brown by The Stranglers with the lyrics in the blurb underneath. Or if you don’t need the lyrics, you can just watch the vid embedded below:

Here are versions three and four of my lyric. Version two might well turn up some day.

Version three is from May 1997:

GORDON BROWN
(To the Tune of “Golden Brown”)

VERSE 1

Gordon Brown, Labour’s first son,
Scottish brogue, like a Glasweigan;
Fat cheeks and jowls, he always scowls,
Weak jokes and frowns, that’s Gordon Brown.

VERSE 2

Gordon Brown, thick wavy hair,
Best of pals with young Tony Blair;
Both live next door, both hate Jack Straw,
Two up two down, sums Gordon Brown.

VERSE 3

Gordon Brown, new chancellor,
Bank of England plans are such a bore;
He’s dour and stiff, bit like John Smith,
But not underground, that’s Gordon Brown.

Then a revised version (4) 27 October 1997:

GORDON BROWN
(To the Tune of “Golden Brown”)

VERSE 1

Gordon Brown, Labour’s first son,
Scottish brogue, like a Glasweigan;
Fat cheeks and jowls, he always scowls,
Weak jokes and frowns, that’s Gordon Brown.

VERSE 2

Gordon Brown, thick wavy hair,
Best of pals with young Tony Blair;
Both live next door, both hate Jack Straw,
Two up two down, sums Gordon Brown.

VERSE 3

Gordon Brown, new chancellor,
Bank of England plans are such a bore;
He’s dour and stiff, bit like John Smith,
But not underground, that’s Gordon Brown.

VERSE 4

Gordon Brown, makes up his mind,
Over EMU, how’s he inclined?
Go in, stay out, sit back and pout,
There goes the pound, Oh shit! Gordon Brown.