Tag: Keele University

Meet Lord Rochester, The Curious Case Of Martin Dent’s Farm, Mavis’s Leaving Do, Barnes L54 Pub Crawl & More, Mid June 1984

Not THAT Lord Rochester, that would defy reason!

It seems that our sabbatical year technically started in early/mid June. Who knew? I suppose we did. Anyway, diary says so.

My First Sabbatical Week

Sunday, 10 June 1984 – Earlyish start – pottered – played tennis with Pud [Alan Gorman] – went to dinner with Jula and Aid at Bobbie’s in eve – earlyish night.

Monday, 11 June 1984 – Met Lord Rochester [Rt Hon The Lord Rochester, DL, then Chair of the University’s Council] in morning – first proper day [of sabbatical] – UGM in evening – heavy – Bobby came back after (party bit).

Leisure Games place probably looked a bit like this. Lino Wirag, CC BY-SA 4.0

Tuesday, 12 June 1984 – Busy day – went to Leisure Games [supplier of pinball and arcade machines to the union] lunch, v nice, played tennis with Viv early eve – went union in eve with Bobbie and Jula.

Wednesday, 13 June 1984 – Loads of meetings etc today (including Senate etc.) – Went down union in evening after – Bobbie came back.

Thursday, 14 June 1984 – Hard day at work – UC [Union Committee] dragged on etc. Played tennis in early eve [that must have been Alan Gorman again as unnamed] – went union for drink in evening Bobbie and Jula.

Friday, 15 June 1984 – Busy day in the office today – went to Candles in evening with Bobbie.

Saturday, 16 June 1984- Went to Martin Dent’s farm with Bobby and Co for day – very pleasant day. Stayed at B’s after.

The visit to Martin Dent’s Farm was one of the strangest and most memorable days I spent during my five years at Keele. Bobbie studied politics as well as law. Martin Dent was her tutor for a course in international politics.

In many ways Martin Dent’s glory days were ahead of him while we were at Keele – in the 1990s he achieved fame and praise as the brains behind The Jubilee Campaign, which successfully led to the cancellation of $120 Billion of developing world debt in the year 2000 – back when $120 Billion was real money. Here is a link to an article about Jubilee 2000 on the Keele website.

Here is a link to Martin’s obituary in The Guardian.

“Bobbie & Co” refers to the small group of students who were in Martin’s final year tutor group that year, including the suggestion, “bring your boyfriends and girlfriends if you wish”, which is why I tagged along with Bobs.

While it was, in essence, simply a day out on a farm where we ate, drank, walked and chatted, it was hugely memorable, due to Martin’s benevolent eccentricity.

The first thing we did after gathering outside the Union for this outing was a visit to the campus store, where Martin bought a full set of crockery and metal cutlery for our picnic. I think the food had been sort-of catered and was already loaded into a coach/minibus which was waiting for us.

When we arrived at the farm, which was apparently something that Martin had inherited and which he left in the hands of managing/tenant farmers, we had to clear away the previous year’s picnic, which meant throwing away a full set of crockery and cutlery which had long-since caked on & decayed food all over it. This seemed, to me, to be a novel approach to the concept of single use cutlery and crockery which was certainly not good for the planet.

We also got the impression that Martin’s team at the farm were less than happy, to the point of being contemptuous, on the rare occasions that their boss visited his farm. I remember Martin making one or two suggestions to them, which I felt from their responses were destined to be ignored. But then, I also felt that the matters were destined to be forgotten by Martin within moments of his pronouncements.

Yet it was clear from that day out and from my subsequent chats with martin during my sabbatical year, that he was a thoroughly decent and incredibly warm-hearted man. I don’t suppose he could imagine anything other than warm-heartedness in others, which for some of his enterprises was a problem but, ultimately, when he took his big ideas about world debt forward, he made a much larger contribution to reducing inequality and poverty in this world than most politicians could dream of.

I’m sure many readers have interesting memories of Martin – feel free to share them here.

Sir Thomas Fowell Buxton, 1st Baronet Buxton of Belfield and Runton. Abolitionist extraordinaire and Martin Dent’s Great, great, great grandfather.

My Second Sabbatical Week

Sunday, 17 June 1984 – rose quite early – laundry etc. Played tennis in afternoon [Alan Gorman again] – cooked Bobby a vindaloo in evening – very nice.

Monday, 18 June 1984 – Busyish day at work. Went to union for drink in evening.

Tuesday 19 June 1984 – busy day in office – went to Lindsay coffee lounge do in early eve – stayed in after (tired).

Wednesday 20 June 1984 – Big and tiring day with meetings etc. Early eve – went to Mavis’s retirement do – stayed in with Bobby after.

Thursday, 21 June 1984 – Busy day with meetings etc – went to Senate and Council reception in early eve – on to Lindsay Ball after – late night.

Friday, 22 June 1984 – Meetings etc – busy day – not feeling at all well today – put in brief appearance at L54 [Barnes, my flat] pub crawl – came back – slept.

Saturday 23 June 1984 – Still not well today – went to Newcastle in afternoon etc – Went to Coach House for eve – v nice – went back to Bobbie’s.

I seem to recall Mavis’s leaving do being written up in Concourse and I’m pretty sure I have a copy somewhere – I’ll add an appendix with the article if/when I find it. I am also making a mental (and written) note here to discuss soon with John White how we might liaise over writing some of these tales from our sabbatical year, as many of the interesting stories will be shared ones from that year and I think he possibly even kept diaries still at that time.

Postscript: Actually The Evening Sentinel’s write up of Mavis’s do was better than the Concourse one – really charming:
Sentinel Mavis Leaving DoSentinel Mavis Leaving Do 25 Jun 1984, Mon Evening Sentinel (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England) Newspapers.com

I’d almost forgotten Bobbie’s taste for a hot curry back then. Her dad was working in Pakistan and Nigeria a lot at that time, as a civil engineer – Bobbie acquired a taste for serious spices on her visits to those places. I don’t think vindaloo appeared on my cooking menu much after that era.

Anyone remember who played Lindsay Ball that summer? As I didn’t note the name, it quite possibly wasn’t a memorable name to me.

I don’t remember much about the summer L54 pub crawl, but I did write up the winter one from six month’s earlier. The memories (or lack thereof) are probably an amalgam of the two:

Oh Balls! Two Balls & A Pub Crawl In One Keele December Week, 12 to 18 December 1983

Good-Bye To Barnes L54 And All That, Summer 1984

Image borrowed from studentcrowd.com

I spent two of my five years at Keele in Barnes L54, as reported on these pages in several past pieces. I have happy memories of my time there, not least because my time sharing a flat at Keele was the only time in my life that I have flat-shared in that “Home Of Multiple Occupation” sense.

I was really touched when I stumbled across the following letter from the June 1984 edition of Concourse.

In truth I barely remember the four of us deciding to write that letter to Concourse. Part of the motivation was mine, to make a public goodbye to the flat. the other three, after all, were to stay on in the flat after I had departed, with Hayward Burt joining them in my place:

Hayward quite literally in my place: in 1985, Barnes L54 as THAT’S EXACTLY where I used to sit. Thanks Mark Ellicott for the picture.

The references in Concourse to Barnes L54 being a Machiavellian Students’ Union political stronghold mostly emanated from my H Ackgrass column, ably assisted by my spies, three of whom were my flatmates. So the argument is more than a little bit circular and the “gripe” was really an in joke amongst us, not least becuase my identity as H Ackgrass remained a secret for a further year.

The gossip-fest to which I refer was mostly in my third Ackgrass column, although I think there was also at least a mention in the previous column.

H Ackgrass’s Third Column In Concourse, Plus A Carbon Copy Of The Original Submission, May 1984

I have managed to re-engage with the West Country contingent (Chris Spencer and Hayward) as part of my Ogblogging process. Pete Wild seems harder to contact – if anyone out there is in touch with him, I expect he’d enjoy seeing this letter again.

Sadly, Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman died several years ago, having moved to the USA quite soon after graduating. His widow, Susan and sons have been following these Barnes L54 reminiscences and I hope they find this letter as touching as I did. It reads, to me, like mostly Alan’s writing, informed/tweaked by the rest of us. It oozes his sense of humo(u)r.

Moved I was. Physically moved, at the end of August 1984, to a small tutor’s flat in K-Block Horwood. Emotionally moved, by re-finding this letter in that old copy of Concourse, during August 2024.

Never A Cross Word Over The Crossword: Newspaper Habits in Barnes L54, Keele, 1982 To 1984

Livy and let Livy, that was our motto

My series of pieces about my somewhat distracted run up to finals at Keele in 1984 might have given readers the impression that I was doing very little reading and paying little heed to my papers.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Indeed, reflecting on my two happy academic years living in Barnes L54, 1982/83 and 1983/84, I realise that there is an element of that lifestyle that has gone unmentioned in these pieces so far.

The newspapers.

From the outset, we took The Guardian as a flat through our kitty during term time. We also, if I remember correctly, took both The Sunday Times and The Observer on a Sunday.

Everyone in the flat at least dipped into the papers. The main beneficiaries of the paper habit were undoubtedly me and Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman. In part, this is because we probably did more reading and dipping than anyone else, but also because we became addicted to doing The Guardian crossword.

“I’ve done most of it, Bagel Boy, see if you can finish it off”

Quite often, one or other of us would be up earlier, if we had lectures or classes to attend while the other did not. More likely Alan would get to the paper first, as he more often had early classes and I would quite often stay at Bobbie’s and return in the morning. A note, along the lines of the above picture caption, might well be waiting for me in those circumstances.

Sometimes the earliest riser couldn’t get very far and the second-dipper would make most of the progress. The second-dipper’s note might have a more competitive tone to it in those circumstances.

It was an exercise in co-opetition rather than competition, though. Our mission was to complete the crossword between the two of us. We would regularly spend time on the puzzle together to finish it off, perhaps late afternoon or over our evening meal. Quite often we would succeed in completing the puzzle. Only occasionally would we be seriously confounded and fail spectacularly. Fairly often, we would struggle with just one or two clues at the end.

We became familiar with the compilers – some easier than others. Often our nemesis was Araucaria, who was known as a difficult compiler. An example from our era is shown below;

Araucaria May 1984Araucaria May 1984 16 May 1984, Wed The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) Newspapers.com

In those days, there was no Google or ChatGPT to resort to if we were stuck. We might check the spelling of a word in the dictionary or resort to my trusty copy of Roget’s Thesaurus if desperate, but the clues that confounded us tended to be factual items.

I remember one occasion when we were both struggling to work out where Tanganyika Territory was, to try to resolve a clue. I think Alan might even have ventured to the library to get intelligence on that one and I vaguely recall that the intelligence did not help us solve the clue. That was probably one of Araucaria’s. Forty years later, I have only just learnt the significance of the compiler’s name.

Araucaria araucana (Monkey Puzzle Tree) 
BillyKwiki at the English-language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0

One other vain attempt to solve a sole remaining clue lives clearly in my memory. The clue was something to do with a Roman writer/historian and the answer only required four letters – blank-I-blank-Y. The answer, to spare you the agony that Alan and I went through, was LIVY. But neither of us were familiar with the works of Livy. Indeed, the only four letter word Roman writer either of us could think of was Ovid. I became convinced that Ovid might well have been known as “Vidy” to his friends, after which we explored many different permutations of “blank-I-blank-Y”. We had a good laugh over some of the possibilities we invented. We would advocate a name and then extemporize the tale of this imagined Roman’s character and works.

One or two of the ideas we explored, tongue in cheek, would not pass the political correctness test. The only Roman historian I could think of was Flavius Josephus – who knows how his detractors might have nicknamed him? Alan and I spent an inordinate amount of time and effort coming up with possible answers to this crossword clue, one of which was probably Livy, but we gave that idea no more credence than any other permutation we could invent.

“Maybe you had to be there”

Finally Finals Finished: How Lowe Can You Stoop?… Or, How Not To Revise For Finals At Keele – The Fourth & Final Part, Late May To Early June 1984

“Well I won’t be going back in there again in a hurry”, Keele University Library, Jonathan Hutchins, Wikimedia Commons

For many years, indeed decades, I have had an occasional but clearly recurring nightmare. I enter an exam room knowing that I have done precisely no revision for the exam in question; indeed I know precious little about the subject upon which I am about to be examined.

The nightmare tends to arise if I have a work deadline looming. But I can tell you precisely when I first experienced the nightmare…or perhaps I should say the experience that triggered that recurring nightmare. It was the sense of helplessness and regret I felt between my Law finals and my Economics finals at Keele. I sensed that I had comprehensively neglected Economics in favour of Law revision. Not that I had been all that diligent with the Law revision – as the first three pieces in this “How Not To Revise” series attest:

How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele, Part One: The Start Of The Easter Holidays, Early April 1984
A Tale Of Procrastination In Two Cities (And A Campus): How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele Part Two, Late April 1984
When Vision & Revision Collide: Including Plenty Of Tennis, Plus Students’ Union Stuff, Psychedelic Furs…Even Some Snooker & Football – How Not To Revise For Finals At Keele Part Three

Even when the reality of my poor preparation started to sink in – and plague my sleeping hours – in late May, I still somehow found plenty of time for tennis and other things:

Plenty of Tennis Between My Law Finals And My Economics Finals, Keele, 24 to 26 May 1984

Even the diary reports from those last few days suggest less than panic and plenty of racket-wielding:

Sunday, 27 May 1984 – Rose quite early – did quite a bit of work today during day and evening at Bobbie’s (B[obbie] cooked meal in evening).

Monday, 28th May 1984 – Did a bit more work today – especially at Bobbie’s in evening. Played tennis with Bobbie in afternoon.

Tuesday, 29 May 1984 – Worked quite hard today – shopped and played tennis [with Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman on that occasion] also – worked mostly in eve – Bobbie came back.

Wednesday, 30 May 1984 – Rose quite early – did some work – MICRO in afternoon – did some work and watch football in eve – Bobbie came back.

Thursday, 31 May 1984 – two more papers today – MACRO and APPLIED – pretty tired after – did a little work in eve, went to count etc. Bobbie came back.

Friday, 1 June 1984 – Last two exams – OPTIONS and SPECIAL SUBJECT – got wet and drunk after – went to Nick Lowe etc – felt pretty bad after and Bobbie came back.

Saturday, 2 June 1984 – felt pretty bad in morning. – Rose late – went into Hanley – did some shopping and ate there etc. – went to Lara’s party in evening – stayed in Lindsay.

I had a vague recollection of playing tennis with Bobbie once and I’m glad that the diary confirms the matter. I think we both agreed that the experience should be a one-off for both of us. I don’t think Bobbie much liked bat and ball games generally. She was a whizz at karate and very keen on football, mind you.

The football on the Wednesday can only have been the European Cup final between Liverpool and Roma – don’t click here unless you are happy to see the result. Some readers might still be keeping this result under wraps, forty-plus years later, with a view to watching a recording of the match untainted by knowing the result.

I don’t know whether to be proud of myself or denounce myself as an utter fool for attending a Students’ Union election count on the Thursday evening, having sat two Economics finals papers that day, before doing two more papers the next day. Perhaps I simply felt that I needed a bit of a break from the relentless economics. I wonder whether there is a formula and/or a law of economics to help decide the relative merits of yet more revision or something completely different for a few evening hours in those circumstances? Surely Parkinson’s Law should come into play?

I cherish my copy of this book

I love the line “got wet and drunk after” following my last two exams. Duncan Baldwin – I seem to recall – was involved in that traditional soaking – I cannot remember whether he was a fellow victim, perpetrator or both. Probably, like me, just victim in the water element but a willing participant in the libations.

I’m pretty sure that Bobbie had finished her exams before I finished mine and was being a brick those last few days to help keep me reasonably close to the straight and narrow until after the exams were done.

Nick Lowe At Keele

I was wondering whether Nick Lowe was at Keele or Hanley the night my finals finished. Fortunately, there was a preview in the local rag on the day of the gig, proving that it was indeed at Keele. Interesting article about an interesting guy:

Nick Lowe PreviewNick Lowe Preview 01 Jun 1984, Fri Staffordshire Newsletter (Stafford, Staffordshire, England) Newspapers.com

Here is a link to the then new album, “Nick Lowe And His Cowboy Outfit” on YouTube Music.

It does sound a bit scruffy, as promised by the man himself. I do remember enjoying the gig before exhaustion and alcohol excess took their toll on me. I’m pretty sure he played several of his earlier hits as well as plenty of material from his most recent release. This link to concert archive shows a set list from 10 weeks later, when this outfit was supporting Elvis Costello in the USA. I’d guess not the same set list but there would be significant overlap with the set we saw in June. After Keele, at least two stadiums in the next 10-12 weeks!

Next Up…

…waiting for the finals results, while getting up to speed for my forthcoming role as Students’ Union Education & Welfare officer…and some fun times during that hiatus period. Watch this space.

Plenty of Tennis Between My Law Finals And My Economics Finals, Keele, 24 to 26 May 1984

The late, great Alan Gorman, aka The Great Yorkshire Pudding, with thanks to Susan Gorman for the photo

Thursday 24 May 1984: Did some work today – played tennis in afternoon – worked at Bobbies in eve – came back after.

Friday 25 May 1984: Did some work today (not very much) – cold etc – worked over at Bobbies in eve.

Saturday 26 May 1984: Went shopping in afternoon (-McDonalds ) – played tennis in afternoon – went Bobbies to work in evening – stayed.

This was part of a short period between the end of my Law Finals exams and the start of my Economics Finals exams.

I do remember playing rather a lot of tennis at that time.

The tennis (when the opponent was not named in the diary) would have been Alan Gorman, aka The Great Yorkshire Pudding.

Pudding and I played a great deal that year, including several five match thrillers, which might well have taken in excess of three hours to complete.

I have a vague recollection that one of our five set thrillers did take place in that interval between my finals exams and I have a feeling it would have been the 24 May match, which preceded me having a cold the next day – a minor illness probably exacerbated by an excess of tennis.

Pudding and I were quite evenly matched at tennis, although we were very different in playing styles and physique. Pudding was tall and skinny, with “long levers” (as we say these days) and a fair bit of strength. I was much shorter, skinny, compact and comparatively feeble – but I was quick around the court and quite cunning in my style. Our matches were nearly always close.

We didn’t look much like this in 1984, but Ivan Lendl did.

The tennis courts were not much used, so we could usually play whenever we wanted for however long we wanted.

Unfortunately for me, several members of the Economics Department were amongst the very small band of other regulars on those courts, not least Professor Les Fishman, Mrs Fishman and Peter Lawrence. I don’t think they were impressed by the duration and intensity of our matches that close to my finals.

They might have had a point.

When Vision & Revision Collide: Including Plenty Of Tennis, Plus Students’ Union Stuff, Psychedelic Furs…Even Some Snooker & Football – How Not To Revise For Finals At Keele Part Three

So many books. so little time put aside for reading them…

OK, I didn’t have quite so many books back then, nor did I need to go through all of them for my finals. Strangely, I have kept most of the books I did read for those exams, as I have always struggled to part company with books, even dull textbook-type books.

This shelf – promoted to the least-touched, hard-to-reach top shelf now, has a lot of the material I went through for my finals.

I had three law papers to do: Civil Liberties, Criminology and Consumer Protection. I remember feeling that the Civil Liberties and Consumer Law material was still reasonably fresh in my mind and just needed a bit of cramming, whereas the Criminology, which I had been taught the year before, was far more evasive.

Because I had decided to defer Criminology until finals, I hadn’t done much on it during my P2 year, so much of the reading I was doing was “vision” more than “revision”. For Criminology, which is a fairly broad-based, sociological subject, perhaps that was just as well. I decided to focus my “vision” on books by the academics who taught the course: Pat Carlen and Mike Collinson, with just a smidge of reading around the topic. This seemed to work.

Don Thompson’s style of teaching Civil Liberties and Michael Whincup’s style of teaching Consumer Protection seemed, to me, to be more oriented towards preparng for exams, so my tutorial notes and just a bit of reading around felt more appropriate.

But let’s be honest about this – even in the 20 days or so running up to and into those exams, I was hardly devoting myself exclusively to the task. Diaries don’t lie.

1 to 6 May 1984 – Tennis The Only Distraction By The Looks Of It

Tuesday 1 May 1984 – Worked a little – played tennis [must have been Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman, as unnamed] – worked over at Bobbie’s in eve.

Wednesday 2 May 1984 – Shopped today – did some work during day – did some more at B’s in eve.

Thursday 3 May 1984 – Did a little work – played tennis with Viv [Vivian Robinson – strangely I have little recollection of playing tennis with her but it seems I did so more than once]– went to J-Soc in eve -> Bobbie’s to do some work later.

Friday 4 May 1984 – did some work – not much – did some work there [Bobbie’s] in eve.

Saturday 5 May 1984 – Did no work during the day – shopped plus played tennis with Pudding in afternoon. Went Bobbie’s in eve.

Sunday 6 May 1984 – Got up quite early. Did some work today – went over to B’s to do some more work.

Not too bad I suppose. I’m not sure how Bobbie recalls this period – if she recalls it at all. I think she had far better concentration and ability to revise/cram than I had. She might have perceived my restlessness as a distraction, but perhaps we were genuinely good for each other in terms of allocated long evenings to revise together. As a routine, it certainly helped me.

7 to 13 May 1984 – Throw In Some Union Stuff & Even Snooker On TV As Well As Tennis

Monday 7 May 1984 – Did some work – went to Constitutional Committee in eve -> Bobbie’s after – watched snooker and worked.

Tuesday 8 May 1984 – Did some work – played tennis with Pudding in afternoon – worked at Bobbie’s in eve.

Wednesday 9 May 1984 – Went shopping in afternoon – went over to B’s to work in eve.

Thursday 10 May 1984 ,- Did some work – played tennis with Viv in early eve – went over to Bobbie’s in evening.

Friday 11 May 1984 – Did some work today – worked more over at Bobbie’s in eve.

Saturday 12 May 1984 – Went shopping with Bobbie in the afternoon. Worked there in evening.

Sunday 13 May 1984 – got up early to work – worked over Bobbie’s in eve – re [her] first exam…

I don’t suppose many finalists persevered with Constitutional Committee 10 days or so before their finals. Snooker as a further distraction doesn’t really sound like me, however dull the particular chunk of revision I was doing that evening might have been.

I wasn’t much into snooker, but Alan The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman was and I suspect Bobbie must have been too. If snooker was Bobbie’s distraction, I was surely a willing participant in such distraction. Easily distracted from revision, me.

A little bit of Googling tells me that Monday 7 May was the nail-biting climax of the World Snooker Championship Final between Steve Davis and Jimmy White. Here’s a vid for those who like snooker.

14 to 20 May 1984

Monday 14 May 1984 – Did work today – Bobbie’s first exam – Ashley [Fletcher] came round – UGM eve – did a little work after.

Tuesday, 15 May 1984 – Did some work today – tennis with Pud [Alan “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman]. Worked a little more over at Bobbie’s after.

Wednesday, 16 May 1984 – Went shopping today – worked at B’s in eve.

Thursday, 17 May 1984 – Worked quite hard on elections today – J-Soc also. Worked especially hard at B’s in eve.

Friday, 18 May 1984 – Day before exams – shopped in afternoon – worked hard in eve.

Saturday 19 May 1984 – CIVIL LIBERTIES [paper] in afternoon – did a little work in evening as well – earlyish night.

Sunday, 20 May 1984 – Worked some during day – and worked hard in evening.

A couple of references to working hard in the run up to my first paper, which does suggest that my work on those other days and evenings had not been quite as focussed.

I really did manage to cultivate the ability to focus and work ridiculously hard for several decades after this period…

…but very evidently not while I was preparing for my Keele finals.

21 to 23 May 1984 – Two Law Papers – Lows, Highs, The Psychedelic Furs & Tottenham Hotspurs

Monday, 21 May 1984 CRIMINOLOGY [paper] in morning – low in afternoon – went UC [Union Committee] – very down in eve also.

Tuesday, 22 May 1984 – Rose early. Worked hard on consumer protection – then CONSUMER PROTECTION [paper] afternoon – went Hanley for meal and Psychedelic Furs concert in the evening most pleasant.

Wednesday, 23 May 1984 – Went shopping, Pudding [tennis presumably] etc. in the afternoon – went over Bobbie’s in the evening. Did some work – watched football etc.

I think the low on the Monday after the Criminology paper was two-fold. I know I felt that I hadn’t had a good exam (it can’t have been too bad) but Bobbie came out of her last Law paper (I think European Law or International Law) convinced that she had badly screwed up. Of course she hadn’t, but I do remember that being one of the very few times I saw Bobbie in a blue funk about anything. (If only Bobbie’s distant memory were better, she could no doubt retell many examples of my blue funks).

By the next day I felt much better, not least because I sensed that I had written a decent Consumer Law paper and the added relief that the Law exams were over. Just Economics to go!

The fact that I had completely neglected Economics since completing my dissertation did not prevent me from celebrating the end of the Law finals with Bobbie in Hanley. I think it would have been the Chinese restaurant and then to Victoria Hall for an excellent Psychedelic Furs concert.

If you want to know what The Psychedelic Furs sounded like in May 1984, the BBC recorded and broadcast their concert at Hammersmith Odeon a week after the Victoria Hall concert. Here is that one hour recording:

If you prefer to see what they looked like back then, there is a slightly blurry YouTube from Madrid that year, part of the same tour, which is a very similar if not identical set to the one we would have seen:

The football we watched on Wednesday 23 May 1984 will have been the UEFA Cup Final between Tottenham Hotspur and Anderlecht. Football wasn’t really my thing, but it was Bobbie’s thing. Forever Everton in Bobbie’s case. Also, although I didn’t support Tottenham Hotspur (or indeed any football team), I had spent more time at White Hart Lane than any other ground, taken there as a kid many times by Stanley Benjamin and then later the holiday job work crowd, who also tended to favour that team/ground. You can read all about that UEFA Cup classic and look at clips of it on the Tottenham Hotspur site – click here – I’m not the only person who writes stuff up 40 years on, you know.

H Ackgrass’s Third Column In Concourse, Plus A Carbon Copy Of The Original Submission, May 1984

I told the story of H Ackgrass’s birth and first column (February 1984) in a piece linked here and below:

Keele Gossip Columnist H Ackgrass is born, Concourse, February 1984

For completists, here and below is a link to my article containing the second, ruthlessly pruned, Hackgrass column.

H Ackgrass Column From Concourse March 1984

This current piece shows H Ackgrass’s third column, which was published in May 1984. Somewhat irritatingly, I have the carbon copy of this one, which was more or less reproduced in full, but not the second, pruned one. I set out my grievance in excruciating detail at the start of this third column. Quentin chose to publish the grievance in full.

Here it is, firstly in its published form, from Page 11 of Concourse May 1984, then in its unexpurgated (not that it was much expurgated) carbon copy form.

If by any chance some readers want to know what Steve Cleary had to say in complaint about my second column, here is a copy of the letter as published in the same edition of Concourse:

Amongst my Keele papers I also have the original of Steve Cleary’s letter to Concourse. I cannot fathom how that came into my possession. Either Steve placed a copy in the “Ha” pigeon hole for Hackgrass to pick up or possibly genial Uncle Quentin gave it to me as a souvenir once I outed myself as Hackgrass in the summer of 1985. Steve might know…and Steve might, by now, have forgiven me.

“All References To Persons Have Been De-Genderised”: The Spring 1984 Edition of the Keele Students’ Union Constitution Springs Forth

With grateful thanks to Philip Lucas, who kindly sent me his copies of the ancient documents described in and scanned for this piece.

A few months ago, when I wrote about redrafting the Students’ Union Constitution in the piece linked here and below…

Tackling So-Called Keele Apathy By Encouraging Fellow Students To Do Stuff, January 1984

…I received a surprising amount of correspondence about it. One very kind piece of correspondence from Philip Lucas, responding to my bemoaning the fact that I had a copy of the old constitution my labours were replacing but not the magnum opus I helped to produce, said:

…would you like my original copies of the 1984 Constitution and Standing Orders…? I am happy to post them to you.

Another, from Malcolm Cornelius, stated that he recalled working with me on proof-reading that revised constitution document. I remembered that too, when reminded. Heck, now that the document itself has arrived, we have documentary evidence that Malcolm’s assertion was true.

I sense that the document was produced over the Easter break that year, such that the proof-reading exercise, which extended to 34 pages of Constitution and 10 pages of Standing Orders, must have formed part of the “How Not To Revise” efforts that Malcom and I attempted jointly in April that year:

How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele, Part One: The Start Of The Easter Holidays, Early April 1984

No wonder Malcolm and I were exploring ways of imbibing coffee and whiskey jointly too!

Many readers are no doubt itching to read bits of the 1984 Constitution and Standing Orders, not least because it is a proto-example of gender-neutral drafting.

Click here or on the image above to read a pdf of the Constitution

Click here or on the image above to read a pdf of the Standing Orders

I am in retrospect proud of myself for taking on such a dull yet useful task. I believe firmly that Malcolm Cornelius and I should qualify for Honorary Life Membership of The Dull Men’s Club by dint of having done this. I might even write to the doyens of that club requesting same. The only nagging question about that, of course, is whether Malcolm and I should insist on the club changing its name to “The Dull Persons’ Club” or “The Dull People’s Club” before we would accept the honour.

Parenthetically, and with characteristic proof-reading pedantry, I now far prefer the word “people” to the word “persons”, the former feeling more like flowing English to me, the latter feeling more like a sub-editor’s short-cut to a gender neutral word.

Back then we could have taken our lead from Depeche Mode, of all people, who were in the Top Ten around that time with the following hymn to diversity:

A Tale Of Procrastination In Two Cities (And A Campus): How Not To Revise For Your Finals At Keele Part Two, Late April 1984

Last Thursday (by which I mean 25 April 2024), driving home quite late in the evening, I heard a short anthropological programme on BBC Radio 4 entitled “Why Do We Procrastinate?”.

You too can hear that programme, by clicking this link, as long as you don’t put off doing so for too long.

The programme made me think about my procrastination-ridden period 40 years ago, when I should have been revising more profoundly for my finals than I managed. It also reminded me that I wanted soon to publish the second part of my mini-series, based on that experience, “How not to revise for your finals at Keele”.

I must get that piece written and out this weekend,

I thought to myself. But guess what? A different idea hove into my my mind and I wrote something completely different instead.

Having got to Monday, I then resolved to procrastinate yet longer. But that would be too straightforward. So, this evening, I have decided to put off my procrastination until tomorrow and write the piece right now.

Peace, Love & Procrastination, 21st Century style

Trying Revising In Liverpool

Liverpool from across the Mersey

Thursday, 12 April 1984 – Left Keele after sorting out various business. Arrived [at Bobbie Scully’s place in Wallasey] late afternoon – had dinner – did a little work – went to a pub after.

Friday, 13 April 1984 – Very little today – walking dog etc. eating etc. Went Liverpool in eve – didn’t do much – not feeling so good.

Saturday 14 April 1984 – Not feeling too well today – very little work – walked dog etc etc – went to local pub in eve – worked and watched film after.

Sunday, 15 April 1984 – Rose quite late – packed etc – left Liverpool after lunch – got home [Streatham]. Picked up to eat – did little.

It’s quite possible that I set my standards of diligence and industry a little higher now than I did in 1984, but I would rate my performance, in the matter of doing plenty of revision during those few days on Merseyside, as dismal.

Might London have worked better?

Trying Revising In London

London – could I possibly end up even deeper in the poo?

Monday, 16 April 1984 – Did little work today – G[randma] Jenny and U[ncle] Louis came over for Seder Night.

Tuesday, 17 April 1984 – Did some work – went shopping after. Fairly easy day today – easy evening.

Wednesday, 18 April 1984 – Did some work today – went to Kingston Liberal Seder with Grandma Jenny and Uncle Louis in evening.

Thursday, 19 April 1984 – Worked quite hard today – did little else in fact apart from work.

Friday, 20 April 1984 – Did a little work today – went out for Indian meal – family came over an evening.

Saturday 21 April 1984 – Did a little work & taping today. Paul came over in evening.

Sunday, 22 April 1984 – Did very little work today. Makro [Charlton] in morning – big Carretto [Italian Restaurant in Streatham] lunch in afternoon – did little else all day apart from write up dad’s books.

Monday, 23 April 1984 – Did some work today – went for walk with dad in afternoon – evening taped and spoke to people.

“All work and no joy makes Jack a dull boy”, says Grandma Jenny

Hmmm. The Liverpool experiment was no more than one out of ten on the revision front. London possibly scores four out of ten.

Still, Passover and Easter are now done. Time to return to Keele and see the thing through on campus.

Trying Revising At Keele

Keele – I’m trying to remember what that building was for. 😉

Tuesday, 24 April 1984 – Came back to Keele today – went to the union for a drink at last orders.

Wednesday, 25 April 1984 – Tried to do some work – shopped – went to Ashley etc – last orders in union.

Thursday 26 April 1984 – did a little work today – Bobbie came back late afternoon – did little for rest of day.

Friday, 27 April 1984 – Got up quite late. Went shopping in Newcastle – did some work in the evening.

Saturday 28 April 1984 – Tried to do some work today – went over to Bobbie’s – fairly lazy evening.

Sunday, 29 April 1984 – Did a little work today – went and had a game of tennis with Pudding [Alan Gorman aka The Great Yorkshire Pudding] in early evening – went over to Bobbie’s in eve.

Monday, 30 April 1984 – Did some work today (not much) – did a little more over at Bobbie’s in evening.

Let’s not worry too much about this, folks. My first Law paper was set for 19 May, so there were still 18 revision days until then. But let’s also be honest about it; I seemed to be finding distractions wherever I went. Worse yet, those tennis courts were oh so enticing whenever I looked out of my Barnes L54 window and Alan “Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman was often on hand to help me get some much needed fresh air and exercise.

DALL-E image depicting me and Alan dallying

Part Three will follow when I can procrastinate no longer and write up the first three weeks of May 1984. Don’t hold your breath, but I’m aiming for publishing it three weeks hence.

The Day I Finished My Keele Economics Project And Went To A Food Co-Op Meeting With Ashley In the Evening, 11 April 1984

Co-operative Food Glorious Co-operative Food

Monday, 11 April 1984 – Finished project. Went library etc. Went to Newcastle with Ashley to food co-op thing – got back late.

My Keele economics project was a bit of a magnum opus. I set out to try to model the pharmaceutical industry, only to learn very rapidly that the apparent cost drivers (i.e. those that were visible in the public domain) had little to do with the actual costs and where actual economic activity took place – rather they were the product of tax planning devices to ensure that profits were maximised in nations with low rates of corporate taxation. Who knew?

I get heartburn just from the thought of writing up that darned project

I remember sheepishly asking Joe Nellis (latterly Professor Joe Nellis at Cranfield) early in the process whether I had screwed up by making a naïve choice of question? Joe simply advised me to “tell it how it is” and the dissertation can still do very well. Which it did.

“Went library” will have been part of the convoluted process in those days of ensuring that a project report was typed up and copied appropriately. I think I typed my own but had to pay for copies in the library.

I’ll scan the document and place it in the public domain at some point. If any reader is desperate to see it, pip me an e-mail message requesting that I upload it – that will induce me to do it sooner rather than later.

Ashley Fletcher

The evening at the food co-operative with Ashley was an unforgettable experience.

The meeting was in a pub’s snug or upstairs room, I forget which, much like Careless Talk meetings. Indeed many of the participants were from that group and a lot were Keele students, researchers and/or graduates. Bob and Sally were there, although this was not “Bob and Sally’s thing”, not that they considered Careless Talk to be “Bob & Sally’s thing” either. Also , I think, Simon and Theo. In addition, a fairly motley collection of local folk in search of cheap bulk food.

The group had been going for a while, although neither Ashley nor I had visited it before. I am pretty sure this was the one and only visit for both of us.

The group and had named itself “Esamrek”, which was a play on the name of the local wholefood store, Kermase, the idea being that the co-operative would reverse the worst excesses of Kermase (i.e. its desire to make profit from selling food).

I was not at one with this economic position, even back then. I was keen to shine a light on excess profits made by Big Pharma, not least by their trick of playing the global taxation game, but I was not against the idea of a retailer making a turn of profit by retailing food.

The first item for debate at the Esamrek meeting was the name of the group itself, which several members found cumbersome and/or tiresome. The debate on the name was quite lively. I recall Bob (even though it was not Bob and Sally’s thing) trying to steer the discussion towards “groundswells” and “the sense of the meeting” a few times, just as he would at a Careless Talk meeting.

One member, who I can only describe as a left-over hippy type by look and sound, at one point said:

…we should name the group Pan Foods, because Pan is the god of the sun and of the earth.

“Siri…Alexa…am I the god of the sun and of the earth?”

This statement somewhat silenced the group. I remember thinking that Pan was not exactly the god of those things, but, unsure what he was the god of, and in any case unsure whether that point was relevant to the debate, I decided (wisely I think) not to chime in on this point.

I remember a conversation with Ashley afterwards about this type of factual nit-picking, in which Ashley posited a business idea: a telephone helpline (premium rate naturally), staffed by brainy youngsters armed with encyclopaedias, to which this type of debate might be put and resolved. Ashley’s considered view was that pub debates up and down the country would very naturally resort to such a service and that the business could rake it in. That idea might have done rather well, especially in the early days of the mobile phone, only to do very badly very rapidly once Alta Vista and Google emerged.

Most amusing to me, though, were the debates about what to order and in what quantities. The group was too loosey-goosey libertarian to take firm orders in advance or anything like that, so they were planning based on the sense of the meeting and people’s vague notion of how much of such-and-such a product they might want at some point in the not-too-distant future.

Ashley threw a cat amongst the pigeons a few times by “naively” questioning the exact variant chosen for a particular product. For example, there was a presumption that the order would be for wholegrain rice. Ashley chimed in…

…I don’t really like wholegrain rice so I wouldn’t go for that. I might be interested in white rice…

…at which point several people then admitted that they quite like white rice and hadn’t eaten any of it for a while…not since they started buying infeasibly large quantities of wholegrain rice via the co-operative…

…while others were persistent in their desire for the wholegrain.

A similar debate ensued around brown pasta and so on the meeting went.

My recollection is that the group ended up in a state of some confusion, given that the only way the co-operative could achieve ultra low prices was through buying very large quantities of a very small range of products.

The notion of a supermarket with buying power and the ability to offer a wide range of products all at once, to me, seemed a rational solution to this micro-economic problem. There might have been a whole second economics dissertation in that.

I do recall laughing with Ashley about that meeting afterwards. Rather than a dissertation, Ashley thought there might be a Mike Leigh style play in the story of that evening.

Have you written that play yet, Ashley?

“Whistle for it, mate”.