I got to know Peter Held on several of the University committees; he was a prominent member of the University Council. I remember being pleasantly surprised when he invited me and Kate to a Lichfield Festival concert towards the end of our term of office, that summer. I’ll write up that concert in the fullness of time; I’m pretty sure I have the programme.
I would have written quite promptly to Peter to thank him for his (i.e. Marling Industries’) hospitality. This letter is his thanks for my thanks, with the offer of a little bit of employment insurance tucked in there, which I remember pleasing me when I first saw the letter.
Not that I can really imagine a career in industrial textiles, looking back, but who knows where life might have been taking me back then?
On top of my Hackgrass reveal antics on our last morning in office, it seems we held some sort of bogus committee meeting later in the afternoon. More a symposium than a mere meeting, by the looks of it.
It looks as though I completed the minutes that December, ahead of our January 1986 appearance at the UGM I shouldn’t wonder, so I’ll publish the typed version at that date. The hand-written version that follows must have been part-written on the day and then concluded later.
Experts at handwriting analysis forensics might be able to work out exactly what went on. John White – I suggest you might choose not to apply for this role, if your attempt at the Hackgrass cypher is anything to go by.
Most of my fellow committee members didn’t know that I was Hackgrass. Indeed the only person on the committee who did know was Pete Wild, as the only people still at Keele who did know my identity were my remaining former Barnes L54 flatmates (hence Pete), Petra Wilson and Annalisa de Mercur.
For the last day of our office as sabbaticals, I wrote a final Hackgrass one-pager and revealed myself to the lovely Pat Borsky in the print room. (As Hackgrass, I mean; please retain some decorum and concentrate, dear reader). Pat agreed to print the one-pager as a publicity circular (pub. circ.) special and the rest is history.
The one-pager caused more than a bit of a stir that day in students’ union circles. I thought best to lie low in my office.
Soon enough, John White plonked himself in my office with pub. circ. and a copy of the February Concourse, saying that he wanted to break the code.
I said that I didn’t much care who Hackgrass was and that I wanted to finish off some work, as I was still very busy.
John laboured with the puzzle for some time in my office, concocting some highly convoluted theories such as:
a=1…z=26, reverse the number series and rework the letters
Once I got irritated enough, I suggested to John that whoever Hackgrass was, he or she probably wasn’t that sophisticated a cipher-wright, so John might be better off trying something really simple like the initial letters of the words in the sentence.
About 10 seconds later, I received an unrepeatable (indeed forgettable) stream of invective from John. I have forgiven him for the invective and I believe he has forgiven me for keeping my identity as Hackgrass a secret during our sabbatical year.
I have extracted a few good pages from the May 1985 edition of Concourse. By that time, my Education and Welfare sabbatical year was coming to an end, so the paper was interested in ushering in the new and ushering out the old. Hold the front page…
Superb picture of John White on the front page, the main (nay only) reason I have uploaded this page
There had been some sort of hoo-ha about the FY exams that Easter, so it seems that I got busy and Margaret Gordon (a lovely lass, I wonder what became of her?) interviewed me about it:
FY stands for Foundation Year, the late lamented “try a bit of everything” course, sadly no longer taught at Keele. Gresham College is perhaps the closest thing to it.
I like the next two pages – a double page spread on the new sabbaticals. Nice to still have pictures of faces I remember. Hayward Burt’s comments on my style raised a smile with me.
I don’t think the term “stress head” had been invented back then, not least because, if it had existed, I think that is exactly the term Hayward would have used to describe me.
I love this little article about John White, Kate Fricker and the Students’ Union cleaners. John looks like a rabbit startled by headlights in the picture. Little did he know that he would subsequently become seasoned for photo shoots, such as his gig as the poster boy for Food Retailer Monthly magazine (or whatever it was called, why can’t I remember?)
Top tank top, John.
Finally the following review of the UGM. These days, the (anonymous) author of this piece would surely not get away with the ethno-physiognomy remark made about me, especially in that context. Where was editor Krista Cowman’s red pen when I needed it? Surely the UGM and Concourse should have been safe space from such comments for people like me? Is it too late for me to seek redress?
Strangely, I have no recollection whatsoever of reading that comment before, although I must have read it, so it must have seemed like water of a duck’s par for the course back then.
DeepAI image of a John White & Ian Harris bust fund disco
I am so impressed by that DeepAI image, based on a mere 30 word description. It even reminded me of the “Rasta shirt” I would sometimes don for such occasions. My dad, for some inexplicable reason, had treated himself to a pair of brightly-coloured pyjamas (primarily acid green in dad’s case) with Ethiopian lion motifs all over them. They were not really big enough for him and hardly his style. I rejected the bottoms but fancied the shirt for parties and other suitable occasions such as bust fund discos.
The Bust Fund was a mandatory Keele Student’s Union “trust” established by UGM some years before my time. It’s sole object was to help students pay fines for possession of cannabis. Helping students convicted for possession of any other controlled drug, or for supply of cannabis, was beyond the trust’s powers. The mandate included a requirement to raise money to meet the trust’s purpose through periodic (I think at least once a term) bust fund discos.
John White and I took great pride in our 60s discos. There’d be a lot of Motown in there for the dancing and also some of our favourite hippy-dippy stuff too. Many Keele students at that time enjoyed those discos for variety, although I do remember one young woman who was most persistent in trying to get us to play “some up to date” stuff. When I explained that the event had been billed as a 60s disco, these didn’t seem to hold any sway with her. I did at one point threaten to put on some Tchaikovsky, as I had recently purchased some early symphonies of his that date from the 1860s, so that would qualify as 60s music too.
Winter Dreams…California Dreaming…it’s so easy to get confused…
Two Courts In One Day (Plus A UGM)
Monday 18 February 1985 – went to court in morning – University Court in the afternoon. UGM in evening – Petra came over after.
Gosh I remember that day at the Newcastle-Under-Lyme Magistrates Court. I went a few times, to provide moral support to students who had been busted for cannabis.
On that occasion, I recall a female student had been busted for a small quantity of cannabis but also had in her possession a pethidine tablet for which she had no prescription. She told me a friend had given it to her because she sometimes got pain that OTC analgesics wouldn’t relieve. Unfortunately for her, this resulted in a bigger fine than students normally got for cannabis only and also excluded her from applying to the bust fund for help. Moral support was all I could provide.
Also that morning, I recall, prior that unfortunate young woman’s hearing, another student was in the dock for doing some serious mischief to another young man in a fight one night in town. He was done for actual bodily harm and/or malicious wounding (albeit without a weapon). That student got a suspended sentence and a smaller fine than the unfortunate young female student. I remember that so clearly.
I also remember a policeman coming and sitting next to me during the young woman’s trial. The copper casually enquired of me whether Keele Student’s Union still had a fund for settling the fines of students who had been done for drugs offences.
I couldn’t tell you, I’m afraid..
…I said, expecting a follow up question or three. But I think the copper decided that I must therefore be from some other department at Keele and left it at that. I might have broken down under proper interrogation quite easily, so I’m glad he didn’t try.
After that sobering morning at the local magistrate’s court, the afternoon was spent at University Court. This was a joint gathering of the University’s Senate and Council. It felt like a largely ceremonial affair, as I recall it, as I believe everything that was, technically, approved by the Court had been “made oven ready” by the respective constituent body and there was, as I recall it, no discussion at all. Maybe some years there was discussion.
No wonder I was tired ahead of the UGM, which, I believe, must have been the appearance referred to in this March issue of Concourse.
Verbous? Moi? Ah, you must mean verbose!
Not the best Concourse review I ever had of my UGM appearances. But not the worst either.
The Early January Embarrassment Story Dénouement
Tuesday 19 February 1985 – busy day with union committee etc. Went to talk in evening. Petra for dinner – Ali and Ruth awkward – Petra came over after.
Suffice it to say that, some six weeks later, Petra and I had not yet disambiguated the matter with Ali Dabbs and clearly engineered an opportunity to do so on the evening of 19 February. Petra’s lovely friend and neighbour Ruth, who will appear in at least one other context as my 1985 diaries unfold, must have joined this gathering to help try and smooth the evening. How and where it unfolded is lost in the mists of time. Not in my flat, if the surrounding words provide clues. Perhaps at Petra’s place, which was a stone’s throw away. Not that there would have been any stone throwing, just the awkwardness described.
Cooking Kate Curry, “Fiddler” & Bust Fund Disco
Wednesday, 20 February 1985 – very busy – meetings etc. Cooked Kate meal – departmental meeting – drink then early night.
Thursday 21 February 1985 – Busy with meetings etc – went to JSoc Fiddler in evening – did Bust Fund disco later Petra came later.
How on earth do I remember that I cooked Kate (now Susan) Fricker a curry, when all the diary entry says is meal?
In truth, my memory is not that good and I don’t remember, but I do still have my 1984/85 appointments diary as well as my personal one. In the appointments diary I wrote:
Kate Curry 7.30
So there.
“What type of curry was it precisely? Madras based or garam masala based perhaps? Or did Kate favour a milder, korma style…or possibly one of those punchy vindaloo style curries that John certainly favoured at times?”
I don’t remember. Leave me alone. But the appointments diary does tell me that the departmental meeting was with the Security Department – quite possibly to sort out the arrangements for ensuring that scallywags couldn’t get into the Student’s Union to steal drink, as had been uncovered a couple of week’s earlier.
From Concourse, Page One, February 1985. For the record, Simon was the Bar Manager & Tim was the assistant Manager, but Concourse never let all the facts get in the way of a hot scoop.
The next night, it seems I went to a J-Soc showing of Fiddler On the Roof before doing the Bust Fund Disco with John White. On that basis, it is impossible to imagine that we didn’t use Swing Easy by The Soul Vendors at some stage of the evening – a delicious rock steady rendering of the Fiddler On the Roof theme tune.
I have actually been trying to remember the tracks John & I tended to play when we did Bust Fund discos. A lot of reggae, dub and rock steady of course, but mixed in with some other styles that would have seemed appropriate or took our fancy.
John has promised to help me give that matter some thought. The result will be a reimagined mid 1980s Bust Fund Disco playlist. Come to think of it, while John and I are at it, we should try and reimagine those sixties discos, especially the Motown/Northern Soul ones. Watch this space.
My appointments diary for 21 & 22 February also reveals that I did something totally counter to my nature – sailed close to a payment deadline:
I will have written the rent deadline into the diary well in advance to remind myself to pay. The “Oh shit” will have been written later, when I realised that I hadn’t organised myself properly to pay it ahead of time and I had a copy deadline that day. Knowing me, I will have found a way to meet both deadlines in the end – no doubt in a flurry while hollering…
Monday, 4 February 1985 – Busy day – did surgery – did referendum forum in evening – drink after – Petra came over.
Our Union Committee conducted “surgeries” in the refectories, on a fairly regular basis. The idea was to be accessible to students in a way that, say, being in our offices in the Students’ Union, couldn’t possibly be accessible. As my gossip columnist persona, H Ackgrass, put it, later that month in his signing off column:
The theory is that they simply don’t get enough visitors behind the closed doors of their offices, so they all go and sit in the refectories, and actually observe the swerving and other avoidance techniques that students use in order to save themselves from having to talk to these creatures.
You wouldn’t have thought that surgeries had been as much my idea as anyone else’s reading that, would you, eh readers? 😉 😉 😉 .
As for the referendum forum, I remember that the Conservative “NUS disaffiliation” people wheeled out a Scottish chap from a Scottish University – purportedly Labour yet pro-NUS-disaffiliation. Kate Fricker similarly yet conversely (on advisement no doubt) wheeled out a floppy-haired posh fellow from a posh university, who was purportedly Tory yet in favour of NUS affiliation.
The Scottish chap riffed about Union Committees being out of touch, sitting around “pontificating Nicaragua” for the NUS rather than looking after students interests. I remember turning to John White and wondering whether we had ever given Nicaragua a moment’s thought at that time. More than thirty years later, Janie and I visited Nicaragua and thoroughly enjoyed the place, but that’s another matter and another sort of pontification:
Tuesday 5 February 1985 – Union Committee in morning – busy for rest of day – went RingRoad rehearsal in evening. Petra came over later.
Wednesday, 6 February 1985 – Very busy today – committees etc [including PS&D – Policy Staffing & Development committee]– referendum – we won – got drunk – went gig.
I cannot find a reference anywhere to what this particular gig was. Where’s Dave Lee and his canonical inventory of Keele gigs when you need him? Still, we had won the referendum, so there!
Thursday, 7 February 1985 – Lousy day – feeling very hung over. Went to forum in evening. Petra came over – cooked meal in evening – very nice.
Friday 8 February 1985 – got work out of the way. Went to London and got back quite late – ate and chatted.
Saturday 9 February 1985 – pottered around today – went over Highgate late afternoon – went to theatre and meal very nice – went back after.
That theatre visit with Bobbie was to see Saved at The Royal Court Theatre – I have separately written up our visit to see that astonishing production – click here or below:
Sunday 10 February 1985 – came home in morning – had Chinese lunch – left for Keele – travelled up with Petra – came over later,
Monday 11th February 1985 – lots to do today – meetings etc. Cooked Petra some food later – stayed.
Tuesday 12 February 1985 – busy with meetings etc – evening also. Petra came over later.
Wednesday 13 February 1985 – busy with meetings – very tired today (fell asleep in Senate). Cooked [for] Kate and went to meetings – early night.
Student Senator Falling Asleep In Senate-gate
I remember my “falling asleep in Senate” incident very clearly.
Earlier in our tenure, Kate Fricker had fought hard for me to join her as the student observer on Policy Staffing & Development Committee (PS&D), which was the sub-committee of Senate in which important academic decisions were really made. Some Senators had objected to my nomination as a student rep on PS&D, because the Education & Welfare Officer only had observer status on Senate. We argued, successfully, that I was eligible to be an observer on PS&D by dint of being an observer at Senate.
Why is the above tedious paragraph relevant? Because the week before my sleepy senate incident, I attended PS&D. One item had taken up quite a large chunk of the meeting. The subject of the debate was something quite dull, but whatever it was vexed Professor Denis Dwyer of the Geography Department, who made a rambling speech for some 15 minutes, expressing what was destined to be a minority view, which lost the vote by some distance.
Come Senate, the following week, I was self-confessedly very tired on the day, having spent the weekend away and then the first half of the week in back-to-back meetings, some running into the evening.
When that resolution from PS&D came up for “discussion” – which under normal circumstances would be a rubber stamp from Senate as the matter had clearly been scrutinised and approved by PS&D, Professor Dwyer stood up and said he wanted to have his objections to the resolution heard. He then unfolded his several pages of notes and started to repeat the self-same speech that he had made at PS&D.
I remember that several Professors made harrumphing noises, as all of us who had been at PS&D realised that Dwyer was going to repeat the exact same speech, with even less chance of success at Senate than he’d had at PS&D, given that the resolution had passed by a large majority at the appropriate sub-committee.
I found myself unable to do anything to keep myself awake during what felt like hours of repetitive droning to no purpose.
I remember Kate telling me afterwards that she realised that I was struggling a bit and nudged me a couple of times, but to no avail.
By all accounts, I visibly and rather audibly nodded off. I think Kate was more than a little horrified and embarrassed.
The good news, though, was that my gesture apparently went down rather well with several of the academic Senators who were, like us, suffering the sound of this speech for a second time.
Philip Boden informed us afterwards that he thought it to be one of the most succinct and incisive statements he’d ever heard or seen in the Senate Room.
To commemorate that historic moment, I have asked DeepAI to imagine the scene. I think it has done rather well with the following, which was its first and only attempt based on a 30-word description:
I looked shaggier than that. DeepAI has a very tidy image of what shaggy looks like
Thursday, 14 February 1985 – busy day – Valentines, casualties etc. Did surgery. Went to ball early – RingRoad – went well – Petra later – me v bad.
Yes, despite my fatigue and the fact that clearly I was going down with something, I rushed around like a nut the following day, performed in RingRoad and attended the ball. Divine was the main act that year.
In truth, I remember little about that ball and that gig. The phrase “me v bad” is expressing the fact that I was feeling poorly later in the evening.
Divine’s biggest hit was “You Think You’re A Man”, which, pop trivia people might like to know, was Stock Aitken & Waterman‘s first top 40 hit in the UK:
That’s pretty much all I can say about Divine.
Fortunately for readers here, Simon Brooke, with wanton disregard of pronoun etiquette, interviewed Divine at Keele and wrote it up for Concourse.
A final extract from that superb memory-jogging issue of Concourse from February 1985.
Ronnie Scott came to Keele several times while I was there. This would have been the last time I ever saw Ronnie himself perform, although I have been to “Ronnies” in Soho since.
My diary records little about the evening (Friday 25 January 1985), other than a statement that I went and a confession “got drunk”. So I am grateful for this review. My memory of at least one earlier Ronnie Scott evening at Keele (probably more than a year, perhaps two years earlier) is better and has a story to it, but I’ll save that story for my diary trawl later.
Janie loves Ronnie Scotts and I have often mentioned to her the wonderful evenings we had at Keele when Ronnie and his band visited. Here’s an independent report on one of those evenings.
The piece I want to blog about is preceded by a long rant by Robert Coyle about the use of the term “fascists” to describe Conservatives. Good on Krista Cowman for allowing a Wally that much space, while still failing to resist giving the piece a derogatory headline.
But the piece “what a relief” made me laugh out loud and did bring back a very faint memory of the “official opening”. Don’t think it would have been Pomagne in my hand, though. I had eschewed cider-type beverages ever since my disastrous evening with cider at the Andorra after show party.
The running headline phrase “juicy bits” does not sit too happily with a story about new union toilets, but I think I should rapidly move on from that line of thought.
I remember Pady telling us about this “Thorns Cock-Up” last time she visited, a few years ago, so it made me smile coming across this article about it when going through this February 1985 issue of Concourse.
I had forgotten (or perhaps Pady even had forgotten) that the unfortunate band that got dicked around was none other than The Pogues.
The Concourse team seemingly wanted its own gossip column to replace the now marginal/retiring Hackgrass, so came up with this Obiter Dicta column. Not sure who was behind it, but I’d guess that Krista Cowman (new editor) had a hand in it herself, possibly Quentin Rubens (the outgoing editor).
Something tells me that Ali Dabbs was involved. Partly the style, partly the strangely positive reference to his physique.
