Tag: King Cricket

Middlesex v Worcestershire, Day 2, Uxbridge, 22 June 2015

Pretty much everything worth saying about my afternoon in Uxbridge has been said in the King Cricket Report – click here.

For those readers unaware of the King Cricket rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself.”  

Readers should perhaps also be aware that my nom de plume for King Cricket purposes is Ged and that occasionally my possessions start writing match reports for me.  This one is authored by Dumbo, my Suzuki Jimny.

Indeed by the end of the 2015 season, inanimate objects had pretty much taken over my contributions to King Cricket, as you will no doubt find out come spring 2016 or whenever King Cricket gets around to publishing some of the later ones from the season.  This one was published 13 December 2015.

In case you don’t delve that far into the King Cricket report, the links to the Visa commercials showing old cine footage of my dad slapping on the tanning oil and/or, perhaps even worse, the vine of me and mum on a pedalo, are worth the price of admission to this blog alone.

Mind you, this blog is free.  As is King Cricket, which I also commend to you.

 

Anyone For Real Tennis?, England v New Zealand Lord’s Test Day 4, King Cricket Match Report, 24 May 2015

Janie and I (or should I say Ged and Daisy) went to the Sunday of the Lord’s test against New Zealand in 2015.

My King Cricket match report linked here and below, describing our day, was published on King Cricket in October 2015.

Anyone For Real Tennis? – England v New Zealand match report

I-Cant-Get-My-Head-Round-These-Rules

Just in case anything ever happens to the King Cricket site, the above piece has been scraped to here. 

This piece is, in a way, the second part of a trilogy.  It is linked to a couple of other pieces about Ged and Daisy encountering Mr Johnny Friendly, an MCC member, friend of the family and real tennis enthusiast. In reverse order:

The irony that I myself have subsequently taken up real tennis with gusto is not wasted on me.

To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:

  • Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
  • King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

If you do want to know about the cricket itself, you might want to have a look at the on-line scorecard – here. We were there the day Stokes scored a scintillating, fastest ever test hundred at Lord’s. Stokes had only just started at tea, when we ran into Mr Johnny Friendly. Of course the King Cricket report is silent on such details.

Cocktails For Two, England v New Zealand Lord’s Test Day 2, King Cricket Match Report, 22 May 2015

King Cricket published the match report for this day in September 2015 – click here to read it.

Not much to add or explain.  I started a running gag about Charley “The Gent” Malloy’s bottle of wine in this earlier piece.  But apart from that, nothing fancy or obscure.

King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

If you do want to know about the cricket itself, you might want to have a look at the on-line scorecard – here. New Zealand were making hay that day and it looked like one of those Lord’s tests that could only end up a draw unless England messed-up the third innings – how wrong we were. Of course the King Cricket report is silent on such details.

Ireland With Dumbo Day Twelve – 18 May 2015 and home the next day

Rose early and enjoyed the wonderful benefits of suite and view for the last time.  We both breakfasted on hake before preparing to leave.  While settling the bill, met an American couple whose TomTom experience re directions to “daft Aghadoe” had been similar to ours.

I drove the first leg, just over 100 miles, then we swapped over.  Checked in at Clontarf, then learnt that we need to catch an earlier ferry.

My type of casino, this.
My type of casino, this.

Still, back out to check out the Casino at Moreno – almost impossible to find but inexpensive by casinos standards.  Stopped off at Clontarf CC on the way home for a look around and even saw a little cricket, worthy of a King Cricket match report. 

Then fiddled with heating – possible room change – decided against.  Scrubbed up and had a lovely pub style supper of beef and guineas pie with Daisy–approved mash, washed down with an Oz Shiraz-cabernet.  Daisy also had an Irish coffee.

An early night.

19 May 2015 – Rose early to catch cruise ferry, as our catamaran had been cancelled due to inclement weather yesterday afternoon.  Still, benefited from the club class – indeed perhaps more so on the bigger boat and longer trip.  Event free drive back to London – Daisy did the longer leg.

Photographs from the whole of our trip to Ireland are gathered in an album on Flickr, click here.

The Rump Ire Strikes Back, King Cricket Match report, Middlesex v Durham Day 3 at Lord’s, 4 May 2015

This King Cricket report was published in August 2015 – you can read it here.

It is a pretty self-explanatory piece about a bank holiday weekend visit to Lord’s by me and Janie – or should I say Ged and Daisy?

If anything ever goes awry with that King Cricket link, I have scraped the piece to here.

Of course, King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

As this was a quite extraordinary afternoon of cricket, you might like to look at the scorecard here. The match had ambled to lunch on the third day with only 14-15 wickets down and seemed to be heading the way of a bore draw. Then the weather turned from sunny spring sunshine to wintry gloom, the threat of rain and an early close, but not before another 14-15 wickets fell in not much more than a couple of hours. That’s cricket for you. Middlesex came out the right side of this one the next morning.

Addendum (written 8 December 2016)

I had the pleasure to witness, on the TV this morning, Keaton Jennings score a test match hundred on debut for England. A rare and happy event. That made me wonder whether I had yet seen Keaton Jennings bat live, so my thoughts turned to the day reported in this posting.

Daisy and I arrived at Lord’s soon after play resumed in the afternoon, after the lunch interval. I had the internet radio on. While Daisy was parking up on the St John’s Wood Road, just outside the ground, we heard a cheer, then a few seconds later heard the commentary describe Keaton Jennings first innings dismissal for 98.

After tea, before the rain came, we got to see all of Keaton Jennings’s second innings, including his dismissal for a sixth ball blob. Very unusual for an opening batsman to be dismissed twice in one afternoon.

Exam question for students of linguistic philosophy and amateur lovers of semantics: could/should Daisy and I claim to have witnessed both dismissals in those circumstances?

With a bit of luck, I/we will get to see Keaton Jennings score runs live soon enough.

First of the Summer Whine, King Cricket Match report, Middlesex v Nottinghamshire Day 2, 13 April 2015

King Cricket published this piece in July 2015 – click here or below to read it:

First of the summer whine – Middlesex v Nottinghamshire match report

If anything by chance ever happens o the King Crciekt site, that piece is scraped to here.

It is a pretty self-explanatory piece and gives no clues towards the mayhem that would later break out in my 2015 match reports, with my possessions increasingly taking over the report writing role. Frankly, the idea had not yet occurred to me.

The only idea for a runner that crops up in this report was Charley “the Gent” Malloy’s forgetfulness regarding the bottle of wine. I guessed that the “offending and delicious sounding bottle would somehow never quite find its way to be downed in part by me. I could be wrong, but in April 2016 let’s just say that I’m still waiting.

To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:

  • Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
  • King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

If you want to know what actually happened in the match and on the day we visited, then click here and scrutinise the scorecard. It wasn’t one of Middlesex’s more glorious days.

Middlesex v Nottinghamshire Match Preview, King Cricket Piece, 10 April 2015

This King Cricket piece was published in June 2015 – click here to read the piece.

Titfer and Provisions
Titfer and Provisions

The piece pretty much speaks for itself. It was a heartfelt, if slightly tongue in cheek, tribute to Richie Benaud, who died on the day I was preparing to go to the cricket with Charley “the Gent” Malloy for the first time in 2015.

In all seriousness, I asked Janie if she thought it was in bad taste. She used to treat Daphne Benaud and had met Richie several times. Janie thought that the piece would have appealed to Richie’s sense of humour. But she didn’t think that Richie would attempt to use self-service checkout machines in supermarkets.

 

An End Of Season Visit To Lord’s With Charley The Gent, Middlesex v Durham, 9 September 2014

Madeleines de Commercy

Most of the story of this visit is captured in the following King Cricket piece, published in April 2015:

Middlesex v Durham at Lord’s – match report

If by any chance anything ever happens to the King Cricket site, here’s a scrape of that Proust-inspired piece.

Not only had the season flown by in a “lost time” manner, that day and evening similarly flew by.

There was a meet the players party in the evening which, if I recall correctly, was quite well attended by Durham guests as well as Middlesex players that year. Did Chas and I manage a quick chat with Colly at that one? Chas might remember.

And talking of remembrance of things past, the match turned out to be one to forget from a Middlesex point of view – see Cricinfo details here.

England v Sri Lanka Day 3 Lord’s Test Match, King Cricket Match Report, 14 June 2014

Janie and I (or should I say Ged and Daisy) went to the Saturday of the Lord’s test against Sri Lanka in 2014.

My King Cricket match report linked here, describing our day, was published on King Cricket in October 2014.

This piece is, in a way, the first part of a trilogy.  It is linked to a couple of other pieces about Ged and Daisy encountering Mr Johnny Friendly, an MCC member, friend of the family and real tennis enthusiast. In reverse order:

This piece inadvertently became the first part of a trilogy because I misspelt Jane Austen as Jane Austin in this piece. King Cricket missed the error when he subbed; both of us metaphorically ate our own livers for the error in private, but I decided to milk the pun when we ran into Mr Johnny Friendly again.

The irony that I myself have subsequently taken up real tennis with gusto is not wasted on me.

To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:

  • Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
  • King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”

If you do want to know about the cricket itself, you might want to have a look at the on-line scorecard – here.

It was not the most exciting day’s cricket we’ve ever seen. Daisy said the match was destined for a draw and of course she was right. Except that a nail-biter of a nine-down squeaky-bum draw is not the sort of draw Daisy probably had in mind. Of course the King Cricket report is silent on such details.

Middlesex v Yorkshire Day 4 at Lord’s, 30 April 2014

A working day, but I did have a pile of reading to do and a hope for good weather and an opportunity to go to Lord’s.

The match started inauspiciously for a gentleman in search of Day Four cricket at Lord’s, but Mick Hunt’s ability to produce tracks that end up lifeless knows no bounds sometimes.

At the time of writing (December 2016), there is much chat about Joe Root being lined up for the England captaincy – here is a very early example of him leading an almost unbeatable side to heroic defeat.

Click here for the almost infeasible scorecard.

Click here for a link to my King Cricket match report for this day – some good bants in the comments section – the bants are better than my article on this occasion.

If by chance anything ever happens to King Cricket, click here instead.

The other thing worth saying, absent from my King Cricket report as mentioning the cricket itself is prohibited there, is that I got to Lord’s just in time to witness Chris Rogers get to the 200 mark soon after lunch; I witnessed that from the Warner Stand before moving on to the sunshine elsewhere.