Tag: Lord’s

Three And A Half Days At Lord’s For The Second Ashes Test, 29 June to 2 July 2023

Opposite the pavilion – it’s the Lord’s equivalent of our Heavy Rollers Edgbaston strategy, where we normally sit as far away from the Eric Hollies Stand as possible

Day Two: Thursday 29 June 2023

I had planned to spend the whole of Days Two and Three at Lord’s, before taking guests on Day Four. As it turned out, following the wonderful trip Janie and I took to Eastbourne earlier in the week, I had a few things to sort out on the Thursday morning and didn’t get to Lord’s until about 2:15, by which time England had started to make a better fist of the match.

More in hope than expectation, I asked the friendly stewards in the pavilion if there was anything going in there. “Not really”, they said, “there might be the odd seat at the Allen Stand end, but you’ll probably get a better seat in the members’ overflow area”. That area was located just beside the sightscreens at the Nursery end, being seats roughly the equivalent to pavilion terrace ones but on the other side.

That seemed like a good idea to me and off I went. The view I achieved is depicted in the headline picture. I made a mental note to head for a similar location the next day without bothering the pavilion stewards.

I also took a selfie.

I chatted a bit with the members around me. A youngish man (by MCC standards) was devouring a whippy ice cream (a 99) when I arrived and soon went off to get a double-whippy (is that one named a 198, my arithmetical mind wonders?). Soon after that, he decided to move elsewhere. During that short period, he shed his membership pass twice – the first time being saved by a kindly gentleman sitting behind him and the second time saved by me. Perhaps it was embarrassment that drove him away.

But others around me were also suitably into the cricket, informed and friendly, making for a pleasant afternoon/early evening.

England were doing well but perhaps I put the kybosh on the team by wandering around to the other side in search of a slightly different view and strategic placement for a swift exit before stumps, as wickets fell just as England seemed to be taking control.

Day Three: Friday 30 June 2023

I did indeed head to the same spot again for Day Three, where there were some different people with whom to share the pain. Mostly members, but a few refugees from public areas where, for one reason or another, they were unhappy with their environment.

A very pleasant visiting couple from Yorkshire shared thoughts about the differences between Lord’s and Headingley. I suspect they had a super time the following week when they went to the third test at their home ground.

The gentleman next to me was from Dorset – although I suspected not originally from there – so it came as a bit of a surprise when it transpired that the “Yorkshireman” turned out to be a Lancastrian by origin, as did the Dorset (yes, a person from Dorset is supposed to be known as “a Dorset”); indeed both from The Fylde with mutual friends from school. Only at Lord’s.

I moved on just before tea, hoping to meet up with Alistair Robson and others from the circle surrounding the Doctors Of Leamington.

Needless to say, the normally thriving Champagne Bar was dead quiet in the absence of tennis this year.

After failing to find Alistair about 10 minutes into the tea break, I thought I might find a seat in the pavilion for the final session, which indeed I did. A gentleman from “Death Row” had the good manners to announce that he was going home at tea time, so I took root on his seat, reducing the average age on that row by some significant amount, I shouldn’t wonder. It was nice to see some Ashes cricket from there without actually joining the death row cohort just yet.

Janie joined me at the flat for the later part of the evening and a Four Seasons Chinese meal, as we had both eaten sparsely earlier that day.

Day Four: Saturday 1 July 2023, With Janie, Ian Theodoreson and Sally

The Warner Stand Mezzanine

Last season’s visit to Lord’s with Ian and Sally for the ODI had proved a great success…

Three Cricket Watching Visits To Lord’s In A Week, 14 to 21 July 2022

…so I was delighted when I learnt that there were some wheelchair access places still available for the Saturday, which was the day Janie was joining me and is a day that makes parking a whole lot easier in Ian and Sally’s…indeed everybody’s…circumstances.

Game on.

I was on picnic duty and had ordered bagels from Papa Joe (Haminados), which meant an early start and a pleasing constitutional before driving to Maida Vale for Lord’s.

Janie and I got to Lord’s a bit earlier than Ian and Sally, just to make sure the arrangements were in place, but we needn’t have worried. As one of the stewards on that level explained, “we never quite know exactly how many people are going to want to sit with each wheelchair guest, but we always find a way”.

Ian and Sally appeared to know more people there that day than we did, although we did run in to Alan and Alex Curtis.

The cricket was a mixture of enthralling and baffling at times; mostly the former.

Me and Ian enthralled. Sally resting her eyes ever so slightly.

As always with such occasions, the day flew by. England were in a poor position at the start of the day, then an improved one, then by the end of the day a poor one again. But England still had a chance.

Day Five: Sunday 2 July 2023

Ian Ward interviewing the wounded (Nathan) Lyon

At the end of Day two, I realised the game was likely to spill into the fifth day, so took the precaution of securing a guest seat for Janie, so we could see the end of the match.

We headed for the Lower Tavern (not to be confused with the Tavern Concourse, which was out of bounds to members). Very happy with our seats, we were.

Before the start of play, we chatted with Westy and Brigitte who were seated nearby. Also John Franklin (from Moreton) and his family.

A very different vibe to the crowd on Day Five. We had some younger people sitting around us, plus an older Bajan gentleman named Charles whose face I recognised but with whom I had not spoken before. We chatted with him quite a lot throughout the remainder of the match, as did the young fellows sitting next to him.

The young fellows, along with most of the crowd, were pretty vocal once Jonny Bairstow was out by a form of stumping that many, me included, consider an unsporting (albeit legitimate) mode of dismissal.

Then, once Ben Stokes unleashed an explosive (although in the event insufficient) attack with the bat, it all got very exciting. On one occasion, the young men behind us crashed into each other while leaping with joy, sending a small shower of wine our way, for which they didn’t stop apologising for the rest of the afternoon. They even wanted to pay our dry cleaning bill – an offer which we declined.

It doesn’t get much wetter…I mean better…than this

Once the foreseeable ending became inevitable, Janie and I made a polite exit to avoid the crush at the gate.

We’d had tremendous entertainment that day – indeed the whole match. So disappointing that England came off second best, but in truth England had performed second best on balance, for more of the match than the Aussies.

Here’s a link to the scorecard and all the Cricinfo resources.

A very memorable few days, that’s for sure.

A Busy Working Week With Some Respite At Lord’s, Middlesex v Sussex T20, 8 June 2023

Only one evening out that week – at Lord’s, for the T20 match between Middlesex & Sussex. I had planned to play tennis that afternoon and stick around for the match anyway, but the call from Jez suggesting we meet up sealed the seal.

I had a good game of doubles partnering our apprentice professional Nat. (I’m sure Nat must have learnt something by partnering me…such as “try to avoid partnering Ged in future.”)

“I can see the potential for a Middlesex win way off in the distance…2024 or 2025.”

I secured some good seats in the tavern stand, only to discover that I had plonked us behind Stephen Bough, another tennis player. I think the Tavern Stand might be “tennis player central” as running into tennis players there is becoming a habit.

Jez and his friend David (whom I hadn’t seen at the cricket for years) soon joined and we hunkered down for a good match.

I decided to stretch my legs for a while, given the exertions just an hour or two earlier, taking some decent snaps of where we were sitting from the Warner.

It was a gloriously sunny evening that whizzed by like a hobgoblin on speed..

It was an excellent game, albeit a donkey derby between two teams that had been consistently losing in the tournament. Middlesex contrived to come second yet again.

Here’s the scorecard and other Cricinfo resources.

Still, we had a good time and it was a rare opportunity to catch up with younger working folk at an evening match.

A Clubby Week, Mostly At Lord’s For The Ireland Test, Late May To Early June 2023

Jack Leach warming up on Day Three

Tuesday 30 May – A Streatham BBYO Youth Club Reunion At Cafe Pacifico

Waiting for Andrea? Actually this picture from our 2019 gathering at Bill’s

In a minor break with tradition, we gathered at that Mexican institution, Cafe Pacifico, in Covent Garden this year, at Andrea’s excellent suggestion.

In compliance with the strict traditions of our group, Andrea was late. In the modern era, Andrea is able to pre-announce her tardiness by sending a message to everyone explaining why, on this one occasion, she has been delayed. It always feels in keeping with our long-established social mores. If Andrea is ever to be on time I think she should message us to warn us of that – the shock of her timely arrival might be too great for some of our ageing tickers.

Andrea back then

Anyway, it is always worth the wait to see Andrea, just as it is always worth the wait to see everyone from the youth club gang again. We used to gather almost every week, of course – youth clubs tend to be a bit like that.

Time rolls on, but when we gather it feels as though the decades have changed this gang remarkably little. Coincidentally, Cafe Pacifico similarly felt much like the place I remember trying many decades ago; probably because it is little changed.

As always, we had a very enjoyable evening.

Wednesday 31 May – A Redoubtable Bout Of Doubles Tennis At Lord’s

Me & Mr Thirlwell after a previous battle at Lord’s (early 2020)

Our real tennis court at Lord’s has been sequestered by the cricket authorities “for media purposes” during the major matches this year (don’t get me started) so it made obvious sense to have a game the evening before the temporary closure.

Indeed, even without the closure, I realised that it was a personal tradition for me to play the day before an Ireland test at Lord’s – I have now done so every time such a test has ever been held throughout history (both times):

The Week That Ireland Came To Lord’s, 23 to 26 July 2019

This time it was a ninety minute doubles helping to warm up my friends Andrew Hinds and John Thirlwell who are partnering each other in the in-house tournament. We had a three-set epic, which my partner, Bill, and I managed to take at the very last gasp in a decider, having been one-set-all, five-games-all.

Great fun and a good battle.

Thursday 1 June – England v Ireland Day One At Lord’s

Pavilion View

I went to the gym to get a bit of exercise ahead of the excesses of a few days at Lord’s. I togged up for the pavilion and enjoyed 30-40 minutes of cricket from there before lunch, chatting with Nick Brown from Dulwich College, exchanging interesting thoughts and word on our respective initiatives on community participation cricket.

After lunch, it seemed if anything to get colder in the pavilion. Then the sun came out and I realised that the pavilion would warm up slowly, whereas I might warm up more quickly in one of my favoured sunny spots in the Tavern Stand – if I could get there before the stampede from the chilly Pavilion and Warner.

Made it. No sweat. It was still quite cold, even in the sun, so no sweat.

I watched and read a bit, interrupted only by the arrival of Sidney Yankson & his entourage – I was inadvertently sitting behind their chosen patch. Sidney is one of my real tennis pals, whom I first met when he organised a match between the MCC and Honourable Artillery Company five years ago.

Big Match Weekend At Lord’s Part One: MCC v HAC Real Tennis Match, 21 July 2017

Mid afternoon I received a message from Jonny “Twophones” Hurst to say that he had a spare seat in the Compton Lower and was wondering whether I would care to join him and his mate, Huge Morg. Who could say no to such an invitation.

Jonny Twophones & Huge Morg

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching cricket and nattering…which is not exactly an unusual combination of pastimes when a Lord’s.

All very enjoyable.

Friday 2 June – England v Ireland Day Two With Awesome Simo

I decided to get to Lord’s well early to secure good Tavern Stand seats for me and Simon Jacobs. I figured that the previous day’s good weather and the sunny start would make the Tavern Stand very popular, which it did.

Despite being on picnic duty which included some hand-made onion bagels from Papa Joseph’s place, I was still early enough to secure a brace of end of block seats in the second row.

Tavern Stand seats with excellent view of Jonny Bairstow’s warm-ups

I also wanted to tell Janie, pictorially, that I had arrived safe, sane & sound

Simon arrived around 11:30, but not before my row had been invaded by several real tennis “stars” in exile from our beloved court with only cricket to watch: Tony Friend, Simon Martin & (latterly) James Coley.

An engineer trying in vain properly to equip a 19th century tennis court for 21st century media.

A day of cricket is always a good opportunity to chew the fat with Simon. Or “a good old chinwag” as one of his local Hammersmith places once suggested as a raison d’être.

A Good Old Chinwag and Dinner With Simon Jacobs, Old Suffolk Punch, 10 January 2017

Unfortunately, much like the chinwag occasion, Simon simply couldn’t help himself in the matter of mentioning the names of despicable politicians, usually just after I had eaten a few mouthfuls of delicious smoked trout bagel or some of my “salad-in-a-cup” morsels. “Cruella” being the cruellest mid-mouthful blurt of the lot.

Still, we managed to get over all that and enjoy a glorious sunny day watching the cricket.

I did so little getting up and walking around on this day that I thought my right leg had utterly gone to sleep when I finally gave up on the day about 15 minutes before stumps – Simon had baled out about 10 minutes earlier. Fortunately the walk to Edgware Road tube brought my leg back to life.

I have no idea why a day of doing more or less nothing is so tiring, but I always feel in need of a long deep sleep after such a day of cricket and achieve same without any difficulty. Some people sleep during the cricket, of course, which is an entirely different matter and not usually my thing.

Saturday 3 June – England v Ireland Day Three With Daisy

We might only be here for six balls

We had no idea what to expect of Day Three. The result was pretty much no longer in doubt, but we wondered whether Ireland might collapse within an hour or make a day of it. They did the latter, very well.

We got to Lord’s well early, mostly to get a decent parking space rather than a decent seat but the early arrival meant that we achieved both.

That allowed us plenty of time to observe the England team warming up and interacting with the crowd.

Josh Tongue

Matty Potts

Chris Woakes

Chris & Ollie

We need help to identify these three. Any ideas?

Early morning autograph hunters

We did a bit of strolling around but mostly watched the cricket during the hours of play and chose to stroll during the lunch interval. The place was busy but not heaving on Day Three.

Daisy’s mum, The Duchess, seems to be moonlighting as a fast food outlet

I ran into yet another of my real tennis pals, Alastair Robson, during a pit stop, or “in the jacks” as Alastair so politely put it. Janie and I chatted with him for a while before the resumption, although we’ll hopefully have plenty of time to chat with him in Leamington in less than two week’s time on our way to Edgbaston.

The match even went on until tea, during which time, while politely putting away most of our things as the end was clearly nigh, I also did a bit of stretching.

A dedicated follower of fashion at tea

When England took the final wicket we made our escape ahead of the crowds, realising that a lead of 11 runs was not going to take much hunting down.

Here’s a link to the scorecard and other Cricinfo resources on the match.

We’d had a glorious day in the sun…

…I’d had best part of three such days.

Not the most competitive match ever but a very enjoyable few days at Lord’s.

Blooming Heck I Was Out A Lot That Week, 23 to 26 May 2023

Thanks to David Wellbrook for the above picture of me, him & Rohan Candappa

Tuesday 23 May – Brasserie Zédel With Wellbrook & Candappa

I’ve known Rohan Candappa & David Wellbrook for very nearly 50 years now. Rohan is very good at keeping in touch and occasionally just saying, “let’s meet” and/or “there’s something I want to chat through with you fellas”.

We responded to the call. David booked Brasserie Zédel, a favourite place of his. As it happens, I had wanted to try the place for some time, ever since I discovered that my grandfather, Lew Marcus, worked there for decades as a barber in the Regent Palace Hotel, rising to the giddy heights of manager I am told:

Turn It Up To Max & Spit: The Baltic Origins Of My Mother’s (Marcus) Family Revealed

Lew’s older brother Max no doubt played music there on occasions, although David de Groot’s Piccadilly Hotel Orchestra was his main gig.

The interior is like an Art Deco fantasy. Here’s a link to someone else’s photo of the glitz.

Anyway, we were there to chew the fat, catch up and the like. I think I have persuaded Rohan and David to provide some “Fifty Years Ago” reflections on the opening overs of our Alleyn’s School career, as I remember so little about the very early days and didn’t start my diary until January 1974.

Rohan wanted to discuss his thoughts on positive proposals following his extensive fundraising around mental health, not least reframing the language used around that subject.

It became a little difficult to have profound conversation once the jazz trio got started. With two of them sporting flat caps, I thought they might name themselves “Jazz & Dave”.

Always good to catch up with those two. Good food & drink at that place too.

Wednesday 24 May – Kapara With John White

My turn to choose, John’s turn to pay. I Googled for new restaurants that are getting rave reviews and soon landed on Kapara, ironically located just across the way from the slightly crazy Manette Street Shule where my father’s family hung out in the 1920s.

The Only Known Relic Of Grandpa Harris Reaches Its Hundredth Birthday, October 2022

The service was sweet and attentive (apart from one lad who kept approaching our table with other table’s dishes) and the food excellent.

They are big on small plates there, which made the tasting menu a sensible way to try the place out.

This is a link to a similar set menu to the one we ate. Ours had bream rather than snapper and didn’t have the soup.

Always great to catch up with John – it had been a while so we had a bit of catching up to do. But we shall be seeing each other again within the month, along with “the girls” and Pady. Part of our catching up comprised planning that gathering.

Thursday 25 May – Lord’s For Sunrisers v South East Stars & Middlesex v Surrey, With Janie

Cullen Bowls To The Curran Brothers

Our plan, which more or less worked, was to get to Lord’s around 15:00 and watch as much of the double-header as took our fancy. The weather smiled on us, for sure, so we took root in Janie’s favourite place, the pavilion sun deck.

In truth, the afternoon women’s game, between the Sunrisers and South East Stars, was somewhat of a damp squib, both in terms of the cricket and also the atmosphere…or lack thereof. Midweek afternoon games work great when youngsters are off school. In term time, the timing virtually guaranteed a tiny crowd before the evening.

A reasonable number of member stalwarts (MCC and MCCC) turned up for both matches, but there was almost no atmosphere for the women’s match, which is a shame.

There was a decent (but not full) crowd for the Middlesex v Surrey fixture.

Anyway, we were enjoying ourselves. But the Surrey score batting first seemed high and the chill of the evening was starting to tell, so we decided to go home and watch the almost inevitable ending of the match on TV.

You probably don’t want to see the scorecards but here they are anyway:

Sunrisers v South East Stars

Middlesex v Surrey

Friday 26 May – Dedanists v Jesters At The Queen’s Club

I was delighted to be selected again to represent The Dedanists in this absolutely crucial real tennis fixture with The Jesters.

If anyone from Alleyn’s School is still reading at this juncture, you might be interested to know that the very first Jesters fixture was in late 1928 – a Rugby Fives match between the nascent Jesters and Alleyn Old Boys.

Actually, in truth, this is one of those fixtures where half the people playing are members of both clubs and half the time it’s hard to work out who is representing which club. Indeed on this occasion I found myself (together with Simon Cripps) playing for the Dedanists but playing against our team captain, Martin Village, who paired up with Anton Eisdell.

I’m glad to say I managed to maintain a winning streak in the matter of match play in Dedanists fixtures at Queen’s, having recently lost my Lowenthal Trophy crown there to, amongst others, Mr Eisdell. The piece linked here and below also describes this Jesters fixture from last year.

Finally…Unprecedented Success At Tennis, The Queen’s Club, 11 May & 27 May 2022

It was a thoroughly delightful afternoon and evening – my first (but hopefully not last) opportunity to partner Simon Cripps – who kept getting me out of trouble and who in truth was the key to our success as a pair. Also an opportunity to meet and chat with lots of delightful and interesting people.

It also gave me the opportunity to check up on the progress of the seats I have booked for me and Janie to enjoy the Wednesday of Queen’s this year.

Ah yes, coming on nicely.

A Day At Lord’s With Fran & Simon, Middlesex v Somerset Day One, 18 May 2023

Sam Robson bowling his own brand of filth

It didn’t rain – indeed the weather was ideally pleasant. No new variant of Covid suddenly broke out to prohibit gatherings at the cricket matches. Neither sling nor arrow of outrageous fortune befell us to frustrate our simple purpose: Janie and I wanted to host Fran and Simon at Lord’s and show them the pavilion.

The idea of the four of us spending a day together at Lord’s had been under discussion for about five years, frustrated by various unfortunate circumstances along the lines of the above paragraph. Given the iffy weather so far this season, we did indeed feel blessed to wake up to a weather forecast that suggested dry and mild, which indeed it turned out to be.

Fran (she of Pinner pears) and Yorkshire Simon (he of crude courgettes) had both been to Lord’s many times, but not recently and not previously in the pavilion. We had previously spent time with them on several occasions at outgrounds, but not at Lord’s.

Simon, Fran & Me at Radlett in 2019
Me, Simon and Simon’s courgette, Radlett 2021

Anyway…

…on their arrival, we showed Fran and Simon the upper sun deck of the pavilion – Janie’s favourite place – which both of them took to immediately, so the four of us basically took root up there.

At lunch we showed them around the pavilion and also showed them the real tennis court, where a couple of my friends were doing battle but didn’t seem all that delighted to be observed; occupational hazard of choosing the 13:00 tennis slot on a match day.

Fran and Simon had brought lunch with them, whereas Janie and I had a crazy craving for the Long Room baps and salad, which we indulged in early in the afternoon session. Janie also indulged in a slice of cake in the member’s lounge.

Sam Robson bowling filth just before tea

Janie took this picture during tea, before going to the lounge for cake

It was really nice to see Fran and Simon again after quite some while. We did a fair bit of catching up, general chatting and even cricket-watching.

In short – we four had a lovely day. Middlesex didn’t.

Here’s a link to the scorecard – die-hard Middlesex fans might choose not to click here.

Book Club Evening At Lord’s: Being Geoffrey Boycott With Jon Hotten, 28 February 2023

Don’t talk to me about uncovered pitches. Pictures by Janie.

I met Geoffrey Boycott in the summer of 1969, when I had just turned seven:

A Short Holiday In Brighton, During Which I Met Geoffrey Boycott & The Yorkshire Cricket Team, 3 September 1969

I have subsequently re-met several of Geoffrey’s fellow team mates from that 1969 team, but not Geoffrey himself.

No matter. I was interested to hear what writer Jon Hotten had to say about writing this book with Geoffrey and was delighted to get the opportunity to do so at a book/supper club for MCC members, which allowed me also to bring Janie as a guest.

The event was held in the writing room (appropriately – also possibly my favourite room in the pavilion).

The Lord’s pitch looks astonishing at night. When Janie and I first looked, there was a fox meandering in that lit area, but it meandered away before Janie was able to photograph it:

Uncovered

The indifference of that refined fox (you get a better class of vulpine in St John’s Wood) has subsequently found its way to the King Cricket website:

A fox being conspicuously indifferent to Being Geoffrey Boycott

If anything ever goes awry with the King Cricket website, you can find read that piece here.

Nice grub and good company before the book talk:

Jon Hotten and Geoffrey Boycott have previously done their book launch talks as a double act, but Geoffrey was not available for this one. In some ways, that made it more interesting, because Jon was able to talk to us about the process of working with Geoffrey, whom he hadn’t met before being “interviewed” for the role of co-author on this project. I suspect that we’d have heard little from Jon had Geoffrey been there.

Jon Hotten seems like a gentle individual, who warmed to his subject/co-author while recognising that Geoffrey Boycott is a complicated character, loved by some and loathed by others. Jon’s talk was fascinating. The question and answer session also very interesting.

Jon seemed amazed at how many people wanted to buy a copy of the book on the evening; I ended up procuring the very last book from that pile. Almost running out of books is not quite as bad as my act of omission at my first book signing, coincidentally in Yorkshire…

My First Ever Book Signing, Clean Business Cuisine (the book), Actors’ Workshop Halifax (the venue), Yet Something Was Missing, 5 July 2000

I thought about asking Jon to write a glib remark about “a stick of rhubarb” or “uncovered pitches”, but in the end decided against.

The long and short of it is – Janie and I had a very enjoyable evening. I am now looking forward to dipping into the book, Being Geoffrey Boycott.

Plenty Of Real Tennis, Including The MCC Club Weekend & “Batting For The Other Side” In The Queen’s Club v Dedanist’s Society Match, Late January & Early February 2023

Brian Sharp presents the Mason Sharp Trophy To The A/B Category Winners at the end of the MCC weekend.

I played plenty of real tennis (and lawn come to that) in January, building up to the MCC Club Weekend, the last weekend of January, an event that I had either steered away from or had cruelly steered away from me until this year. I’m hooked on the idea of playing in it now, though – it was great fun.

Almost everything I want to say about the weekend, including some video links and photos, is in the match report I wrote about the weekend, which you can find by clicking here.

MCC Tennis Chair, Guy Pemberton, applauds, as Graeme Marks presents

The Queen’s Club v The Dedanist’s Society At Queen’s, 3 February 2023

I have previously described the oddities of Dedanist’s Society matches, with many players being eligible for both teams and often not knowing who they are going to play for until the last minute.

I have previous at this – here’s a report on one in which I represented the MCC against the Dedanist’s, with Carl Snitcher, doyen of The Dedanist’s partnering me for the MCC.

MCC v The Dedanists’ Society, Lord’s, 10 February 2018

…or this one from just before the pandemic, in which I had both an MCC and my Dedanist’s shirt in my bag, as I really had no idea which team I’d end up representing. Carl Snitcher, who was the captain of The Dedanist’s team, ended up playing for the MCC:

Four Courts In 25 Hours; Boston Manor Centre Court, Lord’s Real Tennis Court, Royal Court Theatre & Boston Manor Court One, 8 & 9 February 2020

But I broke yet more new ground in February 2023 in my role in the Queen’s Club match, “batting for the other side”, because I have, in theory, no right whatsoever to represent Queen’s.

Admittedly, I did do some advisory work for Queen’s in the early 1990s, enabling me to enact a fiendish piece of Gamesmanship at that club in the late 1999s…

Lawn Tennis At Queen’s, In Which I Inadvertently Deployed Gamesmanship Masterfully, Yet Still Lost, 24 June 1999

…but I am not a member of Queen’s and not in truth eligible to represent. Further, there were several people listed who were members of both Queen’s and The Dedanist’s. But the timings and handicaps meant that it made sense for me (and one or two other people) to swap sides for this friendliest of friendly fixtures.

I partnered a really pleasant fellow in the first fixture of the day and we did well. I think we set the ball rolling for a Queen’s Club win, but it was hard to tell as we all kept having to look at the schedule to work out which pair was playing for which team.

I think it is fair to say that it REALLY didn’t matter. Nick Browne organised a really enjoyable afternoon and evening – the event was rounded off with a fine meal in the President’s Room – which, as usual, raised money for the Dedanist’s Society’s good causes as well as providing a really good time for us players/attendees.

An Amal Alleyn’s Alum Net At Lord’s, 29 November 2022

Back in mid September, I sat next to Amal at a 50th anniversary bash for Saddlers’ Scholars. Amal had been part of the very first batch of such scholars, while I had been part of the very second batch.

If you look very hard, you can see me just to the left of the tree

Naturally conversation got around to cricket and naturally Amal and I ended up arranging to have a net at Lord’s for old-times sake a couple of months later.

Everything I want to say about that evening was captured in a King Cricket report on the matter, published soon after. (Less than a year is “soon after” in King Cricket terms):

A Lord’s nets amateur practice report

If something ever befalls the King Cricket site, you might click this scrape instead to read that report.

Amal’s recollection was pretty spot on, if this extract from the Alleyn’s Scribblerus 1974 is anything to go by. For some reason, Colin Page doesn’t mention Amal carrying his bat for 0* -can’t imagine why not. But apart from that…

Reality Meets NewsRevue At Lord’s, 2 to 10 November 2022

Chris Rowe & Ian Harris At Lord’s, Photo by Nat Cherry

A plethora of real tennis at Lord’s in early November:

  • skills night, which I now “match manage”;
  • a match between the MCC and Middlesex University Real Tennis Club (MURTC), which I somehow found myself captaining/match managing for the MCC;
  • a long-in-the-planning “friendly” with fellow NewsRevue alum Chris Rowe.

Skills Night, 2 November 2022

I explained how I “inherited” responsibility for skills night from Johnny Whiting in my review of last year’s event, click here or below:

Back To Life, Back To Reality… Almost, November 2021

This year’s event was no less exceptional, with fun and fabulous prizes on offer, ranging from a half-exploded can of Irn Brew (don’t ask) to a most valuable player award of $500,000,000. The winners got proper bottles of Pol Roger (other fizzy drinks are available) and chocolates. The wooden spoon has now been emblazoned in the form of the coveted Hinds Trophy.

MCC Members can read all about skills night and tennis generally here. Should anything ever go awry with that link, a scrape of my match report can be found here.

MCC v MURTC, 9 November 2022

Those who know me well from school etc. know that I am unaccustomed to being a sports team captain. I was more likely to be the chap waving his hand wildly at the captain saying, “me, me, me” in the hope of being spotted and picked. But Carl Snitcher, the MCC captain for this match, needed to be elsewhere and I got the call about 10 days before the match to step in and “lead”.

Leadership in this instance merely comprised turning up, badgering people into paying their match fees and shouting “come on MCC” at regular intervals during the match.

It was also still my role to play in the fourth rubber of this five rubber match, renewing my partnership with John Thirlwell, whom I hadn’t partnered since before the pandemic.

Thirlwell and Harris snapped in the dedans on a previous match evening

John and I tried to get back into practice together by playing singles against each other the week before (a superb, close bout) and a practice doubles as a pair the day before the MURTC fixture. But all that was to no avail in the matter of winning our rubber on the big night. Still, we made a close match of it and the fixture as a whole was won by the MCC, albeit by the narrowest of margins in the final rubber, to take the match 3-2.

Those interested enough can watch the entire match – all six hours of it – on the MCC Real Tennis YouTube channel through the link below. Compelling is not the word for this viewing.

As Walt Whitman put it, no doubt thinking of match managing a real tennis match, not Abe Lincoln or anything of that sort:

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won…

NewsRevue Inspired Comedy Singles: Chris Rowe v Ian Harris, 9 November 2022

Soon after taking up real tennis in 2016, I ran into Chris Stanton in the dedans gallery at Lord’s. I had known Chris from NewsRevue since 1992, when I started writing for that show and John Random chose one of my pieces for Chris Stanton to perform, making “Stanny” the first professional actor to perform my material on stage. That, together with the connection with fellow NewsRevue alum Chris Rowe, is explained in my Chris Stanton obituary piece click here or below:

Chris Stanton: Absurdist & Realist, A Personal Tribute, 9 March 2020

Chris Rowe was a good friend of Stanny’s but a little before my time in NewsRevue…

Stanny & Rowy, 1991 NewsRevue Edinburgh Run

…as I understand it, Chris Rowe introduced Chris Stanton to real tennis at Lord’s, although they had rarely played together in recent years; indeed Chris Rowe had/has played hardly at all for several years.

When Chris Rowe and I communicated and eventually met after Stanny’s sad demise, we resolved that we really should have a game of tennis together.

Eventually that idea came to fruition this very day. It was to be Chris Rowe’s first proper game of singles for some considerable time, although he made sure to have a hit with one of the pros by way of preparation.

Despite Chris’s handicap on paper being far better than mine, the pros thought that, taking dormancy into account, we should play level and see what happens.

It was actually a very good match playing level, with deuces galore and lots of good rests (which is real tennis speak for rallies).

Unfortunately, the CCTV cameras wee not recording our match for posterity, so I cannot show you any clips from the actual singles bout in question, but I can assure you that the level was much higher than my doubles level the day before…

…but I would say that, wouldn’t I?

In the absence of footage from the actual match, I thought the following highlights reel is as close as I can get to illustrating the sort of skills on show that day. Below is a six minute thrillathon, which you might prefer to the six hour marathon of the MCC v MURTC match above:

Actually, there were probably elements of the Rowe v Harris match that might be seen as comedy tennis, in particular when one of us (usually me) got caught in an “it’s behind you” position, unable to call my own chase.

We also both managed an array of “characters” correcting the chase calls and devising arcane etiquette on the fly…

…since you last played here, my good fellow, the MCC Committee has deemed it to be ungentlemanly conduct to make a chap run around the court like that and then take the point from him…

…that sort of thing.

But then, as I said when I first met Chris Stanton at Lord’s:

If John Random were to consider inventing an ancient game with bizarre, arcane rules, for comedy purposes, he need look no further than the actual laws of real tennis.

Joking apart, it was such a pleasure finally to play tennis with Chris Rowe having plotted to do so for so long. I hope we’ll do it again. Although, if he gets back into practice, Chris will need to be giving me quite a few handicap points for sure.

A Couple Of Visits To Lord’s For The Hundred, 30 August and 3 September 2022

30 August 2022 Tennis, Lunch and Cricket

Actually the visit on 30 August started off as a real tennis match in the morning, in which “The Coley Kids” (which sounds like a 1960s Saturday morning pictures series) took apart me and my doubles partner Andrew Hinds.

Never mind. We had a most enjoyable day.

Andrew and I consoled ourselves with a light lunch at The Ivy and then watched The Hundred women’s match together, before Andrew sloped off to Vicarage Road while I stayed on and watched most of the men’s match…

…before ambling home before the end.

Finals Day – 3 September 2022

Pretty much everything that Janie and I want to say about finals day has been said in our (Daisy and Ged’s) King Cricket match report:

The Hundred Finals 2022 match report

(If anything ever goes awry with the above links, click here instead).

We witnessed the whole of the women’s match and bailed out about 30 balls before the end of the men’s match, which turned out to be a closer finish than we anticipated. Never mind. We had a most enjoyable day.