Johnny Saunders claps my lunge winner as my hip twinges in appreciation
One of my favourite comedy sketches of all time is a Peter Cook & Dudley Moore sketch named “One Leg Too Few”. It wouldn’t pass some people’s 2025 political correctness tests, but it still passes mine. The conceit of it is a one-legged Dudley Moore auditioning for the role of Tarzan, with casting director Peter Cook dispensing a mixture of common sense discouragement and surreal encouragement to the job applicant, in a style that only Peter Cook could deliver. I recommend that you watch it on the link below.
MCC v Old Harrovians, 22 January 2025
I was reminded of this sketch when I got an unexpected call from Harsha Boralessa, who organises the traditional MCC v Old Harrovians match, less than 10 days before the 2025 fixture. I had sent Harsha a note back in August or September 2024 volunteering to represent the MCC in this fixture but had assumed that “no news means not selected” and had more or less forgotten about it.
By the time Harsha called to see if I could play, I was in the process of scheduling my right hip replacement, having ascertained that there is nothing left in my right hip that might be described as cartilage, which might explain why I am now hobbling around the court, rather than leaping around the place like a gazelle.
I explained my impediment to Harsha, while making it clear that, as an addict, I would like to play because I ALWAYS like the idea of playing tennis rather than not playing tennis.
Seemingly oblivious to the impediment aspect, Harsha simply said:
…but can you be there for a prompt four o’clock start?
Hence, in the absence of a two-legged applicant for the role, I got the gig.
Old Harrovians have historically been well subscribed with fine players of the hard ball games – cricket, rackets, fives and tennis.
Modern times seems to be no exception, with the vast majority of the players in this match being both Old Harrovians and MCC members. Only two or three of us who represented the MCC were from other schools.
I had always imagined that this fixture was designed for players “above my pay grade” – i.e. with much better handicaps than mine. For sure, several of the players and some of the rubbers were far more high falutin’ affairs than I could ever manage, fit or not. Indeed, Ed Turner, who partnered me for the MCC, despite being way above my pay grade, went on to play a second rubber for the Old Harrovians against the MCC. The fellow couldn’t lose…or couldn’t fail to lose, depending on how you look on it.
But that, it seems to me, is the central premise of this fixture. A really interesting and friendly bunch of people enjoying a convivial match with the bonus of a traditional MCC curry supper to round off the evening. The fact that the quality of tennis spanned athletes with handicaps in the 20s to hobbling wrecks like me with handicaps in the 50s or 60s didn’t seem to matter a jot.
Would Edward Chandos Leigh, another Old Harrovian and MCC Chairman from that bygone era, have approved of such convivial amateur sportsmanship?
You can bet your infeasibly slick hair and shiny top hat that he would have done.
MCC v Dedanists, 25 January 2025
The Dedanists’ Society, like the Old Harrovians, is a peripatetic team. And much like the Old Harrovians fixture I have just described, when MCC play The Dedanists, most of the participants are eligible to play for both sides.
I first played this fixture before I was a Dedanist, in 2018. On that occasion I partnered Carl Snitcher for the MCC:
The second time I played this fixture, in 2020, I was by then a Dedanist but was expecting to represent the MCC again. Tipped off by a friendly professional, I put both shirts into my bag just in case, which was just as well, as I found myself being a late switch onto the Dedanists’ team. My first game partnering Martin Village and my last representative match before the pandemic.
No amount of “but Carl, I’m a hobbling wreck” talk was going to put Carl off from selecting me to play for The Dedanists in this match in 2025. In truth, I fancied a competitive hit ahead of the club weekend and also quite wanted Janie to see my hobble at this stage of my hip degeneration so she might help gauge my post operative progress.
I requested a late in the day match, so Janie and I might get other necessities (including an hour of “lawn”) done before Lord’s. The traffic between W3 and NW8 was ridiculous that afternoon; I allowed an extra half hour over the normal journey time of 30 minutes and we used 29-and-a-half of my 30 minute leeway.
No matter – the stress of the journey allowed me to hang up my hang-ups before the game and play pretty well by my own ordinary standards. It helped that I was partnering Johnny Saunders, who is a great competitor who nevertheless plays with a smile on his face, or “for fun” as I put it at one point in our match.
We were a set and 3-2 down as one stage, but managed to turn things around in the end, mostly by dint of Johnny getting better and better. My hobble was possibly more distracting to my opponents than it was to me. Looking at this video of the last 20 minutes of the game, I must admit that I look quite incapable of getting to the ball a lot of the time and yet somehow get just enough onto the ball, awkwardly to keep the point going.
While I’m rehabbing, if I ever have doubts about why I am replacing that hip, I should look at this video to assure myself that I couldn’t possibly go on like that for the rest of my life.
I think Janie enjoyed her afternoon at Lord’s – the Dedanists and the MCC folk who play/watch this fixture are a very friendly crowd.
Our day was rounded off by a most enjoyable evening at the Hampstead Theatre, which included a mystery post match / pre show interview.
