For those readers unaware of the King Cricket rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself.”
Readers should perhaps also be aware that my nom de plume for King Cricket purposes is Ged and that occasionally my possessions start writing match reports for me. This one is authored by Dumbo, my Suzuki Jimny.
Indeed by the end of the 2015 season, inanimate objects had pretty much taken over my contributions to King Cricket, as you will no doubt find out come spring 2016 or whenever King Cricket gets around to publishing some of the later ones from the season. This one was published 13 December 2015.
In case you don’t delve that far into the King Cricket report, the links to the Visa commercials showing old cine footage of my dad slapping on the tanning oil and/or, perhaps even worse, the vine of me and mum on a pedalo, are worth the price of admission to this blog alone.
Mind you, this blog is free. As is King Cricket, which I also commend to you.
I was toying with the idea of going to Lord’s that evening, as there was a T20 match, but I hadn’t arranged to meet anyone and those matches don’t tend to make the cut for me these days unless I have made arrangements.
Stentor said he’d been meaning to try the recently refurbished Crocker’s Folly, which I was also keen to try. It is suitably close to Lord’s, so we booked a table from the comfort of the Upper Allen and toddled across at the innings break.
We had a very tasty one course meal at Crocker’s, served with due speed, once we informed Crocker’s that we were at crickers. I kept an eye on the score, within reason, once the game resumed. Stentor very generously insisted on treating me to the meal.
We missed the first 9 or 10 overs of Middlesex’s reply to Hampshire’s quite hefty score, but felt that Middlesex were making a very good fist of it when we returned to our seats at HQ.
But then some wickets fell and the result seemed in little doubt. In any case, Stentor is very much an MCC man, caring for England and good cricket, but not particularly caring for Middlesex, despite being a North-West London man. So Stentor gave up and headed for home after watching for less than 30 minutes after the resumption. I bowed to the inevitable a couple of overs later, to avoid the heave of the exiting crowd. Here’s a link to the scorecard.
Still, an unexpected and very enjoyable evening in NW8, in good company.
I made an early start out of London on the Monday morning, taking the train to Leeds.
This was the first of my sojourns to see County Championship matches away from home this season and possibly catch up with old friends in the process.
I has planned to meet up with Jonathan Rose while in Leeds, but sadly he needed to back out with events having intervened in the days and weeks leading up to my visit.
I dropped my bags (Benjy cunningly ensconced in the larger one) with the friendly staff at The Chambers, then took a cab to Headingley, arriving less than an hour after the start of play.
The match had been very well poised at the end of day one and was looking very good for Middlesex when I arrived at the ground. But Jonny Bairstow got to work with the tail, putting on a final wicket stand to poise the match once again – possibly even tilt it in Yorkshire’s favour.
Thus the cricket went on for the two days I was there – a very exciting match unquestionably between two of the best teams at the time – here’s a link to the scorecard. The match concluded within three days, so I got to see the denouement.
I walked back to my digs from Headingley on both evenings and to the ground on the second morning; an interesting walk which includes some city centre, some student districts, some inner city residential areas and some leafy suburbs.
On arrival at The Chambers on the first evening, I encountered a well-heeled woman at the reception, the proprietrix it turned out, who gave me some advice about the gym and the locality. Then she said, “you must excuse me, David Guest is staying with me at the moment and we are due to go out soon.” The name vaguely rang a bell and I could tell that I was supposed to recognise the name and be impressed.
“How nice,” I said, “I hope you both enjoy your evening.”
I went up to my apartment, discovering (as so often happens with apartment hotels) that I had paid for a studio but been given a one bedroom flat. I got the wifi working quick as you like and Googled “David Guest”.
Soon enough, I was ready to pop out to get a few provisions to enable me and Benjy to hunker down in my flat for the two evenings, now that my original evening plans had come to nowt. In the corridor I ran into the proprietrix again, with the unmistakable David Gest in tow.
“Hello again”, she said, beaming.
“Once again, I hope you have a lovely evening”, I said, adding “both of you” to include her guest, Gest.
I only needed minimal evening provisions, as the Yorkshire CCC committee hospitality left me with little need for food and refreshment in the evenings, so the recommended local supermarket less than 5 minutes walk away indeed did the job for me.
That first evening Benjy and I focused on some melancholy material; not least Northern Sky by Nick Drake and Vincent by Don McLean, I remember clearly working on both of those. Both songs seemed so apposite for that trip.
Very few Middlesex committee folk made the trip to Leeds that year, so the handful of us who were enjoying the hospitality got a great deal of personal attention. (Although I am not on the committee, I gratefully receive committee privileges for the work I do for the Middlesex committee).
Robin Smith, John Hampshire and Dickie Bird were all very active and welcoming hosts for that match.
On one of the days, I don’t remember which, Ray Illingworth and his wife Shirley were at the game. I sat with them on the balcony watching the action and I chatted with Ray for a while. In my childhood he had been an absolute hero of mine. Ray Illingworth was the England captain when I first took an interest in cricket. He seemed genuinely interested in anyone who shared his love for the game and in talking about anything to do with cricket. Ray told me that he was still involved in running his local club, Farsley, but regretted that he could no longer play a full role as groundsman. He was well into his eighties by then.
On my second day there, the Tuesday afternoon, I particularly remember Dickie Bird getting very agitated about a DRS review on the TV, as the ODI series between England and New Zealand started that day. Sam Billings was given not out by the standing umpire and the Kiwis reviewed it.
‘Ees given ‘im not out. ‘Ees not out. Get on with the game. Get on with the game…
It was a stone dead LBW and the decision was reversed.
I’m not ‘appy about this. I’m not ‘appy about this at all. Umpire sees it as not out, it’s not out…
Meanwhile in the real world, Yorkshire were accumulating the runs towards their win at this point, but losing occasional wickets along the way.
Middlesex tried everything and I tried to dampen the enthusiasm of my hosts with tales of derring do. Thus, when James Harris came on for a late attempt at some wickets, I told them about his devastating spell against Durham a few week’s previously.
Towards the end, when it really was obvious that Yorkshire were heading for a win, Tim Murtagh came on for one last ditch attempt. In jest, I tried to talk up Tim Murtagh’s match-winning skills as well, at which point Tony, one of the Yorkshire Committee Room regulars, snapped, “if I listened to you, I’d think every Middlesex bowler is about to take a fivefer and win you every game”.
Lots of people laughed – I hadn’t realised that anyone on the balcony was still in doubt about the result. But a tense finish is a tense finish I suppose. Naturally, even Tony was in good spirits within a few minutes of that exchange. Click here for the scorecard again.
I took a reasonably early (mid-morning) train back to London the next day, as I had clients to see in London. I think this was the match at which I ran into Vivica at the railway station and we travelled back to London on the train together, which made the journey pass quickly.
The party was scheduled for the end of Day 3 of the Middlesex v Warwickshire County Championship match, but I recall absolutely nothing about the match.
Looking it up, I can see that the match was rain-affected and that my work “sent items” tray has sent items throughout Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday – proof positive that I didn’t get to HQ in time for cricket at all that match.
But I did go to the party. I remember it being convivial (they always are). I’m pretty sure it was this occasion that I won a Middlesex pendant thing, much to the chagrin of Posh Margaret who had her eye on that prize.
When I showed the prize to Daisy (who didn’t want it)| and told her what Margaret had said, we agreed that I would present the item to Margaret from both of us next time I saw her at Lord’s.
I’m also pretty sure I took Jez along as my guest that year, making it a good opportunity to catch up with him too, now he no longer works for us.
I do recall having quite a long chat with Eoin Morgan at that party. I told him that I was pleased he was being given a proper run at the one day captaincy. He thanked me and told me he’d been getting some flack that evening. I told him that I felt that England had tremendous potential as a one day side but had been delivering less than the sum of its parts for some while. It was very interesting to hear Eoin’s insights into Trevor Bayliss’s approach and how hopeful he (Eoin) was that they could work together well to fulfil that potential.
I’m sure I nibbled at some food and drank a little more wine than I had originally intended to drink. That isn’t specific memory, that’s just what tends to happen at these dos.
I’m sure I didn’t drink too much and that I resisted the temptation to continue chatting and drinking in the Tavern afterwards; I had a relatively early meeting with the auditors scheduled for the next morning. There’s bad planning for you.
Of course, King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”
As this was a quite extraordinary afternoon of cricket, you might like to look at the scorecard here. The match had ambled to lunch on the third day with only 14-15 wickets down and seemed to be heading the way of a bore draw. Then the weather turned from sunny spring sunshine to wintry gloom, the threat of rain and an early close, but not before another 14-15 wickets fell in not much more than a couple of hours. That’s cricket for you. Middlesex came out the right side of this one the next morning.
Addendum (written 8 December 2016)
I had the pleasure to witness, on the TV this morning, Keaton Jennings score a test match hundred on debut for England. A rare and happy event. That made me wonder whether I had yet seen Keaton Jennings bat live, so my thoughts turned to the day reported in this posting.
Daisy and I arrived at Lord’s soon after play resumed in the afternoon, after the lunch interval. I had the internet radio on. While Daisy was parking up on the St John’s Wood Road, just outside the ground, we heard a cheer, then a few seconds later heard the commentary describe Keaton Jennings first innings dismissal for 98.
After tea, before the rain came, we got to see all of Keaton Jennings’s second innings, including his dismissal for a sixth ball blob. Very unusual for an opening batsman to be dismissed twice in one afternoon.
Exam question for students of linguistic philosophy and amateur lovers of semantics: could/should Daisy and I claim to have witnessed both dismissals in those circumstances?
With a bit of luck, I/we will get to see Keaton Jennings score runs live soon enough.
It is a pretty self-explanatory piece and gives no clues towards the mayhem that would later break out in my 2015 match reports, with my possessions increasingly taking over the report writing role. Frankly, the idea had not yet occurred to me.
The only idea for a runner that crops up in this report was Charley “the Gent” Malloy’s forgetfulness regarding the bottle of wine. I guessed that the “offending and delicious sounding bottle would somehow never quite find its way to be downed in part by me. I could be wrong, but in April 2016 let’s just say that I’m still waiting.
To understand my King Cricket match reports you need to know that:
Ged and Daisy are nicknames/noms de plume for me and Janie. Friends are all referred to pseudonymously;
King Cricket match reports have strict rules: “If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.”
Stephen Potter, of Gamesmanship and Oneupmanship fame, wrote a lovely piece for the original Boundary Book entitled Lord’smanship.
“I am a member of the MCCC” is a phrase in which “MCCC” the initials, are indistinguishable, after two gin and tonics, from “MCC”.
This lack of distinction came in handy that week, as I ventured to Lord’s on the Tuesday for the Middlesex County Cricket Club (MCCC) AGM, forum and party, then on the Thursday for the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) new associates evening.
I went with some trepidation for the former meeting, as I was very supportive of the new commercial agreement between MCCC and MCC. I had agreed in advance to put up my hand and say so, at the post AGM forum.
Which I did.
To some useful effect, I believe.
The party afterwards was great, as always. Reuniting with good folk and salivating at the prospect of a new season about to begin. Such joy.
Then to Lord’s again on the Thursday evening, for the MCC initiation evening. Good wine, good grub, very pleasant. Also a sort-of Freshers Fair where the different bits of the MCC displayed their wares.
I believe I first encountered Mark Ryan that evening and made a mental note to give real tennis a try, once I had a bit more time on my hands. It took me best part of a year, but I saw that resolution through.
No gin and tonic that Thursday evening, just wine, but by the end of the evening I think I indeed was making the phrase “MCC” sound indistinguishable from “MCCC”.
I really like the Seaxe Club annual gathering pre season, as I explained in my 2016 piece – click here for that 2016 piece.
The 2015 gathering was to be the last Seaxe Club AGM and forum in the old Middlesex Room, although little did we know it then.
Mike O’Farrell, now Chairman of Middlesex at the time of writing (January 2017), became Chairman of the Seaxe Club that night, taking over from David Killick. The AGM element of the evening is not the most enticing but, but the committee keep it relatively short and painless, so the conviviality and forum take centre stage for most of the evening.
The following is a link to Seaxe Club news from that summer, which includes a review of the AGM and forum, so I don’t have to repeat all that. Alan Ashton and Elaine Knight have done a grand job.
As always it was a very convivial evening with excellent panelists; the youngster Nick Gubbins in particular speaking eloquently and with humour. Andy Mitchell and Tim Murtagh were both also extremely good.
The Seaxe Club, in particular this annual event, is one of the best kept secrets in Middlesex, indeed perhaps all of English cricket. Except it isn’t a secret. It is a shame more people don’t come along.
The next day, I returned to Medlar, scene of a recent “crime” – click here – on this occasion for lunch with Stephen to thank him for proposing me for MCC membership, as my yellow card membership had just come through. That brought Q1 of 2015 to a very satisfactory end.
Not only had the season flown by in a “lost time” manner, that day and evening similarly flew by.
There was a meet the players party in the evening which, if I recall correctly, was quite well attended by Durham guests as well as Middlesex players that year. Did Chas and I manage a quick chat with Colly at that one? Chas might remember.
And talking of remembrance of things past, the match turned out to be one to forget from a Middlesex point of view – see Cricinfo details here.
A working day, but I did have a pile of reading to do and a hope for good weather and an opportunity to go to Lord’s.
The match started inauspiciously for a gentleman in search of Day Four cricket at Lord’s, but Mick Hunt’s ability to produce tracks that end up lifeless knows no bounds sometimes.
At the time of writing (December 2016), there is much chat about Joe Root being lined up for the England captaincy – here is a very early example of him leading an almost unbeatable side to heroic defeat.
The other thing worth saying, absent from my King Cricket report as mentioning the cricket itself is prohibited there, is that I got to Lord’s just in time to witness Chris Rogers get to the 200 mark soon after lunch; I witnessed that from the Warner Stand before moving on to the sunshine elsewhere.
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