Travel, Theatre, Music, Cricket, Tennis, Writing, Life
There will be a King Cricket piece of mine about this test in the fulness of time – I’ll publish the links here.
Meanwhile, just a placeholder to note that I:
It was a very one-sided match, but passing time at Lord’s when there is a test match on is always a pleasant experience, however the cricket is panning out.
Opposite the pavilion – it’s the Lord’s equivalent of our Heavy Rollers Edgbaston strategy, where we normally sit as far away from the Eric Hollies Stand as possible
I had planned to spend the whole of Days Two and Three at Lord’s, before taking guests on Day Four. As it turned out, following the wonderful trip Janie and I took to Eastbourne earlier in the week, I had a few things to sort out on the Thursday morning and didn’t get to Lord’s until about 2:15, by which time England had started to make a better fist of the match.
More in hope than expectation, I asked the friendly stewards in the pavilion if there was anything going in there. “Not really”, they said, “there might be the odd seat at the Allen Stand end, but you’ll probably get a better seat in the members’ overflow area”. That area was located just beside the sightscreens at the Nursery end, being seats roughly the equivalent to pavilion terrace ones but on the other side.
That seemed like a good idea to me and off I went. The view I achieved is depicted in the headline picture. I made a mental note to head for a similar location the next day without bothering the pavilion stewards.
I also took a selfie.
I chatted a bit with the members around me. A youngish man (by MCC standards) was devouring a whippy ice cream (a 99) when I arrived and soon went off to get a double-whippy (is that one named a 198, my arithmetical mind wonders?). Soon after that, he decided to move elsewhere. During that short period, he shed his membership pass twice – the first time being saved by a kindly gentleman sitting behind him and the second time saved by me. Perhaps it was embarrassment that drove him away.
But others around me were also suitably into the cricket, informed and friendly, making for a pleasant afternoon/early evening.
England were doing well but perhaps I put the kybosh on the team by wandering around to the other side in search of a slightly different view and strategic placement for a swift exit before stumps, as wickets fell just as England seemed to be taking control.
I did indeed head to the same spot again for Day Three, where there were some different people with whom to share the pain. Mostly members, but a few refugees from public areas where, for one reason or another, they were unhappy with their environment.
A very pleasant visiting couple from Yorkshire shared thoughts about the differences between Lord’s and Headingley. I suspect they had a super time the following week when they went to the third test at their home ground.
The gentleman next to me was from Dorset – although I suspected not originally from there – so it came as a bit of a surprise when it transpired that the “Yorkshireman” turned out to be a Lancastrian by origin, as did the Dorset (yes, a person from Dorset is supposed to be known as “a Dorset”); indeed both from The Fylde with mutual friends from school. Only at Lord’s.
I moved on just before tea, hoping to meet up with Alistair Robson and others from the circle surrounding the Doctors Of Leamington.
Needless to say, the normally thriving Champagne Bar was dead quiet in the absence of tennis this year.
After failing to find Alistair about 10 minutes into the tea break, I thought I might find a seat in the pavilion for the final session, which indeed I did. A gentleman from “Death Row” had the good manners to announce that he was going home at tea time, so I took root on his seat, reducing the average age on that row by some significant amount, I shouldn’t wonder. It was nice to see some Ashes cricket from there without actually joining the death row cohort just yet.
Janie joined me at the flat for the later part of the evening and a Four Seasons Chinese meal, as we had both eaten sparsely earlier that day.
Last season’s visit to Lord’s with Ian and Sally for the ODI had proved a great success…
…so I was delighted when I learnt that there were some wheelchair access places still available for the Saturday, which was the day Janie was joining me and is a day that makes parking a whole lot easier in Ian and Sally’s…indeed everybody’s…circumstances.
Game on.
I was on picnic duty and had ordered bagels from Papa Joe (Haminados), which meant an early start and a pleasing constitutional before driving to Maida Vale for Lord’s.
Janie and I got to Lord’s a bit earlier than Ian and Sally, just to make sure the arrangements were in place, but we needn’t have worried. As one of the stewards on that level explained, “we never quite know exactly how many people are going to want to sit with each wheelchair guest, but we always find a way”.
The cricket was a mixture of enthralling and baffling at times; mostly the former.
As always with such occasions, the day flew by. England were in a poor position at the start of the day, then an improved one, then by the end of the day a poor one again. But England still had a chance.
At the end of Day two, I realised the game was likely to spill into the fifth day, so took the precaution of securing a guest seat for Janie, so we could see the end of the match.
We headed for the Lower Tavern (not to be confused with the Tavern Concourse, which was out of bounds to members). Very happy with our seats, we were.
Before the start of play, we chatted with Westy and Brigitte who were seated nearby. Also John Franklin (from Moreton) and his family.
A very different vibe to the crowd on Day Five. We had some younger people sitting around us, plus an older Bajan gentleman named Charles whose face I recognised but with whom I had not spoken before. We chatted with him quite a lot throughout the remainder of the match, as did the young fellows sitting next to him.
The young fellows, along with most of the crowd, were pretty vocal once Jonny Bairstow was out by a form of stumping that many, me included, consider an unsporting (albeit legitimate) mode of dismissal.
Then, once Ben Stokes unleashed an explosive (although in the event insufficient) attack with the bat, it all got very exciting. On one occasion, the young men behind us crashed into each other while leaping with joy, sending a small shower of wine our way, for which they didn’t stop apologising for the rest of the afternoon. They even wanted to pay our dry cleaning bill – an offer which we declined.
Once the foreseeable ending became inevitable, Janie and I made a polite exit to avoid the crush at the gate.
We’d had tremendous entertainment that day – indeed the whole match. So disappointing that England came off second best, but in truth England had performed second best on balance, for more of the match than the Aussies.
Here’s a link to the scorecard and all the Cricinfo resources.
A very memorable few days, that’s for sure.
Unfortunately Charley The Gent could not join us this year, so we added a late substitute to the group of five – Jonny “Twophones” Hurst, a friend of mine from NewsRevue. As part of his initiation into the Heavy Roller clan, Jonny & I spent some hours together during the Ireland test match a couple of weeks earlier.
The other four of us were me, Daisy, Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks and Harish “Harsha Ghoble” Gohil.
But before all of that, my now traditional stop off in Leamington for some medicinal tennis with the good doctors of that town.
Not just tennis, but a very pleasant lunch, after a very entertaining tennis match that was a close-fought affair. Five of us (four players plus Janie) sat down and the time flew by, such that I started to worry that we’d get no food and/or be late for dinner.
By the time Janie and I had done the picnic shopping, located our lovely digs in Moseley and unpacked, it was more or less time to meet Harish and Nigel for dinner. (Jonny chose to join us at the ground the next morning).
We went to our now traditional (since Nigel and I discovered the place in 2016), excellent Persian restaurant, Colbeh, on the Hagley Road.
Yum.
Early start for me as there was a picnic to pull together. Then a 25 minute stroll to the ground for me and Daisy. Bit of a queue, but not too bad at 10:15. We guessed that 5 or 10 minutes earlier the next day would be easier yet. We were right.
Daisy enjoyed photographing the pre match hullabaloo and our reaction to it.
Daisy also likes to photograph people behind the Eric Hollies Stand. Those people don’t seem to mind.
The weather was glorious and the cricket was captivating throughout our time at Edgbaston – indeed the whole match was a cracker.
We were all exhausted at the end of Day One, so went back to our respective diggings and regrouped the next morning.
Daisy took some more pictures during the lunch interval of Day Two.
She also persuaded our mystery lunchtime visitor to take a picture of us…
…then Ged took a picture of the mystery visitor with the Nigel, Daisy and Harish. All the while, Jonny Twophones was off on some mystery mission of his own.
Sam, who was said “mystery guest” wrote up his (apparently) terrifying experience on King Cricket, linked here and below:
In the matter of having a picture of all five of us rollers, Harish put matters right, photographically, with the following five-face selfie – very deft:
You can see all the photos on Flickr by clicking here or below.
The whole match really was a cracker, you can read all about it and see the scorecard here.
Of course it was not the same without Chas, but it was still a monumental Heavy Rollers occasion, with great company, good food and amazing cricket, lovely cricket.
Jack Leach warming up on Day Three
In a minor break with tradition, we gathered at that Mexican institution, Cafe Pacifico, in Covent Garden this year, at Andrea’s excellent suggestion.
In compliance with the strict traditions of our group, Andrea was late. In the modern era, Andrea is able to pre-announce her tardiness by sending a message to everyone explaining why, on this one occasion, she has been delayed. It always feels in keeping with our long-established social mores. If Andrea is ever to be on time I think she should message us to warn us of that – the shock of her timely arrival might be too great for some of our ageing tickers.
Anyway, it is always worth the wait to see Andrea, just as it is always worth the wait to see everyone from the youth club gang again. We used to gather almost every week, of course – youth clubs tend to be a bit like that.
Time rolls on, but when we gather it feels as though the decades have changed this gang remarkably little. Coincidentally, Cafe Pacifico similarly felt much like the place I remember trying many decades ago; probably because it is little changed.
As always, we had a very enjoyable evening.
Our real tennis court at Lord’s has been sequestered by the cricket authorities “for media purposes” during the major matches this year (don’t get me started) so it made obvious sense to have a game the evening before the temporary closure.
Indeed, even without the closure, I realised that it was a personal tradition for me to play the day before an Ireland test at Lord’s – I have now done so every time such a test has ever been held throughout history (both times):
This time it was a ninety minute doubles helping to warm up my friends Andrew Hinds and John Thirlwell who are partnering each other in the in-house tournament. We had a three-set epic, which my partner, Bill, and I managed to take at the very last gasp in a decider, having been one-set-all, five-games-all.
Great fun and a good battle.
I went to the gym to get a bit of exercise ahead of the excesses of a few days at Lord’s. I togged up for the pavilion and enjoyed 30-40 minutes of cricket from there before lunch, chatting with Nick Brown from Dulwich College, exchanging interesting thoughts and word on our respective initiatives on community participation cricket.
After lunch, it seemed if anything to get colder in the pavilion. Then the sun came out and I realised that the pavilion would warm up slowly, whereas I might warm up more quickly in one of my favoured sunny spots in the Tavern Stand – if I could get there before the stampede from the chilly Pavilion and Warner.
I watched and read a bit, interrupted only by the arrival of Sidney Yankson & his entourage – I was inadvertently sitting behind their chosen patch. Sidney is one of my real tennis pals, whom I first met when he organised a match between the MCC and Honourable Artillery Company five years ago.
Mid afternoon I received a message from Jonny “Twophones” Hurst to say that he had a spare seat in the Compton Lower and was wondering whether I would care to join him and his mate, Huge Morg. Who could say no to such an invitation.
We spent the rest of the afternoon watching cricket and nattering…which is not exactly an unusual combination of pastimes when a Lord’s.
All very enjoyable.
I decided to get to Lord’s well early to secure good Tavern Stand seats for me and Simon Jacobs. I figured that the previous day’s good weather and the sunny start would make the Tavern Stand very popular, which it did.
Despite being on picnic duty which included some hand-made onion bagels from Papa Joseph’s place, I was still early enough to secure a brace of end of block seats in the second row.
Simon arrived around 11:30, but not before my row had been invaded by several real tennis “stars” in exile from our beloved court with only cricket to watch: Tony Friend, Simon Martin & (latterly) James Coley.
A day of cricket is always a good opportunity to chew the fat with Simon. Or “a good old chinwag” as one of his local Hammersmith places once suggested as a raison d’être.
Unfortunately, much like the chinwag occasion, Simon simply couldn’t help himself in the matter of mentioning the names of despicable politicians, usually just after I had eaten a few mouthfuls of delicious smoked trout bagel or some of my “salad-in-a-cup” morsels. “Cruella” being the cruellest mid-mouthful blurt of the lot.
Still, we managed to get over all that and enjoy a glorious sunny day watching the cricket.
I did so little getting up and walking around on this day that I thought my right leg had utterly gone to sleep when I finally gave up on the day about 15 minutes before stumps – Simon had baled out about 10 minutes earlier. Fortunately the walk to Edgware Road tube brought my leg back to life.
I have no idea why a day of doing more or less nothing is so tiring, but I always feel in need of a long deep sleep after such a day of cricket and achieve same without any difficulty. Some people sleep during the cricket, of course, which is an entirely different matter and not usually my thing.
We had no idea what to expect of Day Three. The result was pretty much no longer in doubt, but we wondered whether Ireland might collapse within an hour or make a day of it. They did the latter, very well.
We got to Lord’s well early, mostly to get a decent parking space rather than a decent seat but the early arrival meant that we achieved both.
That allowed us plenty of time to observe the England team warming up and interacting with the crowd.
We did a bit of strolling around but mostly watched the cricket during the hours of play and chose to stroll during the lunch interval. The place was busy but not heaving on Day Three.
I ran into yet another of my real tennis pals, Alastair Robson, during a pit stop, or “in the jacks” as Alastair so politely put it. Janie and I chatted with him for a while before the resumption, although we’ll hopefully have plenty of time to chat with him in Leamington in less than two week’s time on our way to Edgbaston.
The match even went on until tea, during which time, while politely putting away most of our things as the end was clearly nigh, I also did a bit of stretching.
When England took the final wicket we made our escape ahead of the crowds, realising that a lead of 11 runs was not going to take much hunting down.
Here’s a link to the scorecard and other Cricinfo resources on the match.
We’d had a glorious day in the sun…
…I’d had best part of three such days.
Not the most competitive match ever but a very enjoyable few days at Lord’s.
Chilly Ginger Beer On Day Four
Pretty much everything I want to say about Day Two of the Platty Joobs Test has latterly been published on the King Cricket website – click here or below.
If anything ever goes awry with the King Cricket site, you can read that piece here.
We had a very enjoyable day. It was bright and not all that cold.
I had also bought Janie a guest ticket for Day Four – she likes to see the end of a test match and Day Four is often that. We could always pop back on the Monday if need be.
On this occasion, we knew there would be a result that day – the only question was precisely when would that be.
We got to the ground early to secure good seats although not many people turned up on a dank day to see a much shortened day of cricket.
As it turned out, England batted with such purpose the match was completed within 25 overs.
Janie thought the action was tremendous value for money…which it was…not least because the ECB deemed it to be a full refund day.
Here’s a link to the scorecard and all the CricInfo resources.
This day did not start well. Even before we set off towards Lord’s, I got a message from Chas “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett that he was poorly and would be unable to attend with me on Day Two. Janie also picked up a message from one of her Samaritans friends cancelling their planned get together on Saturday.
Then we arrived at the Church Street car park, which I had booked more than a week ahead of time. A shifty young man was turning everyone away from the car park, even people (like us) with advanced bookings.
“The car park is completely full”, he said. We deployed the stand-off method, refusing to move the car and asking him to get the police when he said we were causing an obstruction. He phoned his boss, then simply let us in. The car park was far from completely full. Read into this incident what you will.
When we returned in the evening to rescue Dumbo, we complained to a different young man who reluctantly provided me with the above sign to mark my spot for the next day. “Someone could remove the sign in the mean time”, he told me, ruefully, but he did promise to e-mail his colleague who would be on duty the next morning.
Meanwhile, we still got to Lord’s in good time to grab decent seats in a shadier/drier part of the Lower Warner. However, Janie soon became irritated by the “Champagne Charlies” behind us, who apparently started off by braying at each other about how much money they were making in the City just now and then went on to make disparaging remarks about women’s cricket.
Janie wondered why we were sitting in such a crowded place, while the Lower Tavern was sparsely populated. I explained my theories about the pecking order of Lord’s stands, with the Lower Tavern being the most despised of the Members & Friends stands.
“Let’s go over there, in that case”, said Janie. And that’s where we ended up spending the rest of Day One. I also returned there on Day Two solo and spent Day Four there with Janie.
Just before we decamped to the Lower Tavern, I received an e-mail from FoodCycle wondering whether Janie and I could possibly step in and host the White City project on the Saturday. Having had our Saturday plans messed up, we said yes to that request; we felt that the only decent thing that had happened to us so far that day was getting press-ganged into volunteering for a superbly good cause.
The other thing I did while on the wander was to see if Chris Swallow needed someone to make up the numbers for tennis on Day Two. As I was to be guestless I might as well and could use the exercise during the test match. As it happened, there was a vacancy and the suggestion helped out.
Janie’s opinion of Lord’s pitches was not improved by the Day One tally of just three wickets, although I thought England bowled without luck at first and without penetration after that.
I’m delighted to report that Dumbo’s parking space awaited him, without fuss, when I arrived at the car park on the Friday. It does have to be said that the “reserved” marker had, however, been removed.
I was hoping to place the seats I had obtained for me and Chas, so I decamped to the Lower Tavern while awaiting word from various folk, none of whom could muster a cricket lover or two at such short notice. The number of people who have said, subsequently, “oh, but if you had called me…”
Anyway, I snacked very modestly, drank water and read a bit, while following the increasingly interesting cricket match.
I chatted for a while with a nice chap named Richard who was similarly guestless that day.
Despite the absence of Charley, I enjoyed the day’s cricket. Chas would have loved it.
I also enjoyed a good hour of tennis doubles late in the day, with Dominic, Paul and Nick. My first game of doubles for a while – a good warm up for the “Doctors Of Leamington” fixture on Sunday.
I didn’t take any photos of this particular gig, but the photo below shows the venue last year, when we were doing food delivery services from there.
The gig on Day three of the test match was a cook and collect service along similar lines to the services we provide out of Marylebone. Fortunately hosting that service was not too onerous for us, as they really did have a shortage of volunteers that week, with only one other hosting volunteer. Talk about vacancies…
Still, we successfully gave away all the food and then went on to play tennis at Boston Manor Park, which we enjoyed, before watching the end of Day Three of the test match on the telly.
Keen to get a prime parking place near Lord’s – probably more in demand on test match Sunday than prime seats in the despised Lower Tavern stand, we got to Lord’s early and had some fun snapping the pre match atmosphere.
I was due on court at 12:00 for a long-arranged game of tennis with “The Doctors Of Leamington” and Mr Johnny Friendly. The latter spotted me & Janie (Daisy) in the despised Lower Tavern and told me that the court was free from 11:30 and that the Doctors were keen to start early, so I actually only caught the first 20 minutes or so of cricket before retiring to the tennis court.
As it turned out, the Doctors were waylaid, so Johnny Friendly and I played at singles for a while until the Doctors arrived, which seemed to warm me up rather well.
Daisy joined us for the last few minutes of our hour, observing/filming a little from the dedans. The following clip shows me scoring a couple of strokes before making a bit of a mess of the third return, delivering a bestial roar for my pains:
After tennis, we joined the good doctors for some traditional picnic in the vicinity of the Coronation Garden, which seemed a little crowded for our taste but fortunately the Doctors had taken a well-located bench on the outer perimeter of the garden.
Eventually we returned to our seats and watched the afternoon’s cricket, which was actually quite absorbing and left the match well poised, such that I resolved to return on the Monday.
I decided to drive to the North-Eastern edge of Kensington, which is slightly closer to Lord’s than my flat. In any case, the parking space outside the flat was suspended to allow Bill to put in my new boiler, so there was doubly no good reason to go there.
The more or less due East walk from that parking place to Lord’s, mostly along the canal footpath, was a delight. Although I have spent much of my life very close to that path – e.g. at the Canal Cafe Theatre, I’d never previously walked that line, as it were.
Refreshed from the walk, I tried to take up position in the Upper Tavern Stand, only to be rudely ejected.
You can’t come in here, Sir, it’s been sold to the public!
Apparently demand had been so great for Day Five tickets from Joe Public, but not so much from members, that we were to be “penned in” to the Allen/Pavilion/Warner Stands.
I chose the Warner – mercifully Champagne Charlies don’t do day fives.
Towards the end of the day I relocated to the Lower Allen, as I could see there was plenty of space and I fancied a quick getaway.
I read, I watched cricket, England came second in the end but that aspect seemed…secondary.
Here is a link to Cricinfo’s scorecard and resources on the match.
I also concluded a highly scientific experiment for King Cricket, which I had started at The Hundred matches between London Spirit & Northern Superchargers a couple of weeks earlier and concluded at this test match. It is written up in the following piece:
If anything ever goes awry with King Cricket’s site, you can find that vital piece of science here.
After the “no spectators at all” season of 2020, I was among the first to see live test cricket in England in 2021.
Despite the first test being at my home ground of Lord’s, ahead of the day I felt strange…almost anxious…about spectating under the Covid pandemic protocols.
The first Lord’s test was designated to be MCC members only, with only about 25% of the ground occupied.
The regular Lord’s thing is for members to have a “licence to rove” with other members and friends throughout the members’ areas. This year we had to apply for and then choose a socially-distanced seat, anywhere around the ground, some weeks in advance of the match.
Thus I imagined that the experience, for me, might be more akin to many of my visits for county championship matches. I quite often choose to venture alone, with a pile of reading and modest snack-picnic, choosing to sit in a less-popular corner of the ground.
I promised King Cricket (KC) that I would write up the experience for his site.
While King Cricket usually publishes weeks, months or even years after the event, on this occasion, KC published my Day One report as “news”.
If anything ever goes awry with the King Cricket website, that piece can be found here.
While King Cricket match reports on professional matches mustn’t mention the cricket itself, Ogblog has no such rules.
Frankly, there was not much to report on the cricket. England bowled pretty well, yielding only 250-odd runs but only taking three wickets.
The vibe where I was sitting, in the Mound Stand, is described in the above linked piece.
The ground was zoned. Not only were we only permitted to sit in our allocated (socially-distanced) seat, we were only permitted to wander within our chosen zone.
I was in Zone C for Day One.
I wandered along to “Checkpoint Charlie” underneath the Media Centre, between Zone C & Zone B. I usually chat with a friendly regular steward, Rob, there. There he was, in Zone B. I waved at him.
I fully expected Rob to shrug and for me to tell him that I planned to join him in Zone B on Friday. But no. Rob crossed the barricades, did that elbow thing that has replaced handshakes and we had a chat, more or less as normal, just socially-distanced.
Here is a link to my King Cricket scribblings on the matter of Day Two in the Allen Stand:
If anything ever goes awry with the King Cricket website, that piece can be found here.
I also submitted the following piece to King Cricket, which was published quite soon after the event:
If anything ever goes awry with the King Cricket site, that piece can be found here.
Suffice it to say for now that I spent the day in the Allen Stand, just beside the Allen Stand Gap, whence the headline photo and the above picture of the Compton, Edrich & Media Centre were taken.
The Allen Stand, close to the holy-of-holies (The Pavilion) was, naturally, in Zone A.
I finished reading The Great Romantic – a book about Nevil Cardus by Duncan Hamilton, which I reviewed for King Cricket:
If anything were to go awry with the King Cricket website, that piece can be accessed here.
The cricket on Day Two was excellent. England fought back well to limit the further damage to only 130 or so runs. Then, after losing two early wickets, batted without further damage until stumps.
I eagerly anticipated Day Three, which I had chosen to spend in The Warner Stand, which would have completed my experience of the trilogy of Zones in Zone B.
But you know what they say about plans.
The weather forecast earlier in the week had predicted fair weather for the whole match – perhaps a slightly cloudier day on the Friday.
What happened instead was rain.
All day.
I did other things instead…and to some extent did the things I had intended to do at the cricket elsewhere instead.
King Cricket might or might not chose to publish my account of Day Three. One way or another, though, I’ll self-publish or link to that account in the fulness of time.
November 2021 update: King Cricket did choose to publish my alternative report, which you can read by clicking here or below:
If anything ever goes awry with the King Cricket website, that piece can be found here.
I guessed that the match was probably rain-ruined by the loss of a whole day.
Here is a link to the scorecard and to the Cricinfo resources on that match.
I witnessed Devon Conway score a test century (indeed, in his case, a double-century) on debut at Lord’s. He is only the sixth batsman in history to achieve that feat.
Apart from Harry Graham, who was the first to achieve that rare feat in 1893, I have seen, live at Lord’s, all the other people who achieved it:
It really was wonderful to see live cricket again. What more can I say?
The very first ball of the very first test match between England and Ireland
23 July 2019 – the day before the inaugural test match between England and Ireland. I had arranged to play real tennis at Lord’s that afternoon, but got the call to see if I could play “senior gentleman’s doubles” at noon. This was not especially convenient for me, given my chosen 16:00 slot for singles, but I acquiesced to play “if they were desperate”. I got the call at about half-ten.
As it turned out, the main senior gentleman had got his dates mixed up and wasn’t there, so I ended up playing a not-quite-so-senior gentleman’s singles. I played rather well, perhaps spurred on by the presence of two of the Ireland test cricketers; Kevin O’Brien and Andrew Balbirnie, who took a great deal of interest in the game and watched for a good 20 minutes or so.
Returning to Lord’s for my 16:00 session, I realised that playing two hours of singles on a very hot day was not ideal, but it went fine. Coincidentally, as I arrived at the ground Kevin O’Brien was leaving Lord’s. I leaned out of the car window:
“Don’t you want to watch some more tennis?”
“You’re back for more?”
“Yup, I must be mad”.
24 July 2019 – Day One of the test. Dominic and I had been talking about finding a day to go to Lord’s with Janie and Pamela for a county match, but as I had tickets for this match, it seemed a good idea to use this Ireland test for our gathering.
I brought smoked salmon bagels and Dominic brought a superb selection of cheeses from La Fromagerie. Dominic was one of two people who sent me messages, within a few minutes of each other on the preceding Sunday, wondering about brie cheese given the weather forecast for very hot weather. The other brie-enquirer was Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett.
It was indeed a blisteringly hot day, especially as the sun came out full pelt in the afternoon, making my excellent Mound Stand seats a little over-exposed. Fortunately, we managed to find our way to a clutch of newly-shady seats in the Warner mid-afternoon. It’s not what you know…
By that time, England had long-since been rolled for diddly-squat and Ireland looked to be in the ascendancy.
Still, it was a most enjoyable day of cricket-watching, eating and chatting.
25 July 2019 – Day Two of the test.
The weather was set to be even hotter. I knew I’d need to get to Lord’s pretty early to secure shady seats in the Warner. So I did that.
My guests for Day Two were Charles “Charley the Gent Malloy” Bartlett and Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks. On the water front, I brought a spare refillable flask but in fact Chas brought one for each of them, along with the picnic, which Dot “Mrs Malloy” very kindly made up for us all.
We’d agreed in advance that we’d have an alcohol-free day given the extreme heat. I suspect that bar takings were much lower than the MCC had hoped for too. Despite that, the St John’s Ambulance people were kept busy that day – it really was a scorcher – a record July day apparently.
The cricket was good – England set a fairly modest but probably defensible score ending the day nine-down, which meant that there was to be cricket on Day Three. Hurrah. Mostly thanks to an unexpectedly dogged night-watchman job by Jack Leach for England.
25 July 2019 – Day Three of the test. The original plan had been for Chas and Nigel to join me on Day Three as well, but circumstances intervened and they both dropped out several weeks ahead of the match.
In the end, for reasons far too dull to explain, I ended up with three guest tickets to dispense, which ended up in the capable hands of Simon “Awesome Simo” Jacobs, Bobbie “Báirbre” Scully and Pamela (see Day One). Dominic was also going to join us once he had escaped from the Tower of London.
The weather was less than special first thing, so my early morning mission to secure good seats on Day Three comprised finding a similar level of cover as was required for the shade the day before, but also in a position that would avoid any squalls of rain. Again, success.
I took plenty of reading matter as I guessed that none of my guests would be turning up early.
Pamela, who lives nearby, texted in to say that she was going to wait until the showers passed (smart move).
Simon was slightly delayed, but not as delayed as the start of play, so he got to see the first ball…
…which was also the entirety of the remainder of the England innings.
But before that, I had already received a text from Bobbie. I have previously described Bobbie’s timekeeping, which, traditionally was based on leaving Place A for an appointment at Place B at roughly the appointed time to be at Place B. This works fine if Place A and Place B are very close to each other; less fine if they are some distance apart.
Bobbie had, in fact, confounded all my temporal expectations by being early on the previous occasion we had met…
…but for the Ireland Test Match she reverted to type. At 10:57, three whole minutes before the test match was due to start, I received this text from Bobbie:
Right, I am leaving [home] now – somewhat behind planned schedule (you will not be surprised to hear)…
Actually, with the rain delay, innings break and then another rain delay very early in the Ireland innings, Bobbie and Pamela (both of whom arrived around 12:15/12:30) only missed about eight balls and no runs. Just the one wicket.
In the meantime, Simon and I were able to have a good chinwag without mentioning our hateful politics and sickeningly awful politicians too much. We spent more time talking about Simon’s impending album launch, which Simon has kindly scheduled to take place just round the corner from my flat at the Notting Hill Arts Club – click this link or picture below:
Once Bobbie and Pamela arrived, the cricketing day moved on very quickly indeed…
…read scorecard and Cricinfo resources by clicking here…
…in fact, the cricketing side of things was done and dusted just over an hour later.
That’s not enough time to get through a whole picnic.
It wasn’t even enough time for Bobbie to get through her cricketing anecdote. It turned out that this wasn’t Bobbie’s first experience of international cricket; it was her second. The tale of her first, from 1977, is such a good anecdote it deserves its own Ogblog piece. Perhaps Bobbie will write it as a guest piece or perhaps I’ll have to ghost write it.
The stewards allowed us and the assembled masses to continue our picnics and convivialities for some time, although the arrival of the marching bagpipe band to “entertain” us seemed like an excellent way for the considerate host that is the MCC to make everyone feel that they remain welcome while driving all but the sturdiest (and/or deafest) away.
Simon decided to depart quite swiftly. Dominic joined us briefly before going off to change for his game of realers. Pamela, Bobbie and I watched Dominic play real tennis in the absence of any real Irish folk playing cricket.
After that, Bobbie and I retired to The Bridge (home to the Canal Cafe Theatre) for a more comprehensive catch up.
A most agreeable end to a convivial and sporting week.
Subsequently (a mere four months later – quite rapidly in King Cricket timescales) my King Cricket-compliant piece about the same match was published – click here or below:
In case anything ever goes awry with the KC site, I have scraped that piece to here.
Thursday 9 August 2018
Escamillo Escapillo has, of late, expressed a preference for seeing the first day of a test match. That was not too difficult for me to arrange this time around, knowing his preference in advance.
Of course, he didn’t express a preference for “one of those test match days that ends up being rained off in its entirety but that keeps you in suspense for much of the day, because the rain is light and might just stop”. But that’s what we got.
Ironic weather this, given the weeks and weeks of relentless heat and sunshine that led up to the start of the Lord’s test.
King Cricket lampooned the day, while it was happening, with this piece:
My day with Escamillo Escapillo was not my worst ever experience of rain frustration – the award for that must go to the 2012 Heavy Rollers Edgbaston trip, which resulted in no nets, no cricket at all, nothing, for around 48 hours:
Long To Rain Over Us, England v West Indies, Edgbaston, Days One and Two, 7 & 8 June 2012
Nigel’s take on the same non-event, linked at the end of the above piece, is one of the finest guest pieces on Ogblog.
Naturally Escamillo Escapillo & I tried to make the most of it, which is not too hard to achieve with one of my picnics to hand. Posh Italian nibbles from Speck and a start on the very jolly bottle of Pinot Gridge courtesy of Escamillo Escapillo. Smoked salmon bagels and latterly prosciutto rolls helped us to get through the wine and warm our increasingly “resigned to the elements” hearts.
We had occasional “it looks like it is brightening up over there” moments but in truth Accuweather left us in no doubt that the intervals between showers were to be short and the showers long.
I think it was about 17:00 before the umpires bowed to the inevitable and we went our separate ways home.
Friday 10 August 2018
The forecast only looked a tiny bit better for DJ’s day. Still, I went through my picnic preparations and got to Lord’s quite early, watching tennis for a while. DJ texted me to say he expected to arrive around the start time.
When Jimmy took a wicket in the first over, I thought DJ might have missed one of the day’s major moments, but DJ came down the steps just after the wicket fell, excitedly telling me that he got to see it.
Just as well. About 30 minutes of cricket was all DJ got to see before the rain came. Then lots of rain. A bit like the September Test Friday last year…
Three Days At The Lord’s Test, England v West Indies, 7 to 9 September 2017
…except this time the weather app warned us that there was torrential rain coming between 14:00 and 16:00; so DJ and I both bailed out ahead of that storm, with a view possibly to returning if, by some chance, the day were to clear up and they were able to get some more play in.
I got some work done – while doing so I kept an eye on proceedings. I also informed Daisy that I hadn’t drunk any alcohol, so was planning to drive over to Noddyland that evening rather than next morning.
The torrential rain was tropical style – the TV showed pools on the outfield – but then the rain stopped. An announcement came up on my screen to say “inspection at 17:00”;I guessed that meant possibly play to start at 17:45 or 18:00 – wrong! Play to start at 17:10…
…I returned to Lord’s, by jumping in the car and somehow found a parking space on St John’s Wood Road. So I got to see nearly 2 hours more cricket and finished my share of the picnic at the designated place. I did alert DJ, but he didn’t return.
Then, after stumps, on to Noddyland for a glass or two while Daisy ate her dinner.
Saturday 11 August 2018
Tennis first thing – I didn’t move so well despite the relative lack of sitting at the cricket. Massage with Lisa after that; much needed.
Then Ros’s visit. Ros is Janie’s very good friend from years gone by who has lived in Turkey for the last 25-30 years. We haven’t seen Ros for about 20 years. Facebook combined with Ros’s decision to visit Blighty reunited them/us.
Not 100% sure that this next picture is from the last time…but it was in Turkey and might have been the last time.
The weather was lovely, so we were able to take drinks and chat in the garden for some while, until Janie served up a splendid lunch of smoked salmon and Guernsey crab – the latter delicacy being a gift from Lisa.
Ros is an exponent of Bowen Technique therapies, which gave “the girls” a lot to talk about, while I joined in the conversation as best I could and kept at least one eye on the cricket.
Once the cricket ended, the combination of massage, wine and the gentle therapeutic conversation sent me onto the sofa and into the appealing arms of Morpheus.
I’m not entirely sure how much longer Ros stayed but I did wake up properly before Ros left.
Sunday 12 August 2018
Weather forecasts ahead of Sunday were not promising. I warned Janie that we might get nothing at all, but that we should be ready to go. Even first thing on Sunday itself , the forecast was aweful.
But then the wind direction shifted, such that the Thursday-like constant light rain looked likely to miss Lord’s for most of the day.
Daisy of course wasn’t ready for such a dramatic change of plan, so I jumped into Dumbo to get a good parking spot and get a couple of good (dry) seats in the Warner for us, suggesting that Janie & the picnic join me by Uber once they were ready.
in the end we got a super day of cricket in a very comfy spot with just a few short interruptions for drizzle.
Nice people sitting around us, including an amusing gentleman from Oxford who had an aversion to the England team’s infantile nicknames and who seemed convinced (wrongly as it turned out) that Stokesy was going to go to jail.
We saw a great England win and then had the luxury of Dumbo just round the corner to run us home. We celebrated with a glass or two once we got back to Noddyland.
31 July 2018 – The Day I Forgot That I Hadn’t Forgotten The Tickets
The plan was to have a quiet morning finishing off work bits before setting off towards Birmingham for three nights and three days of Heavy Roller cricketing joy…
…but we all know what tends to happen to that sort of plan.
So I ran around like crazy that morning, fitting in two client meetings, getting my packing done and shovelling down some lunch. Still I managed to leave home at a reasonable hour to avoid the traffic and get to Brum in time to shower, change and join up with the lads.
As I drove past the Warwick junction of the M40, I had a horrible brain flash. The utter conviction I had, earlier in the day, that Chas has the tickets this year, morphed into a distinct memory of Chas handing me an Essex CCC ticket wallet.
“But that must have been my Chelmsford ticket,” I thought, until my memory distinctly remembered the sight of Edgbaston tickets in an Essex ticket wallet. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that I had been an idiot not looking in my ticket draw when packing…even though, in truth, I could not recall seeing those tickets in that draw in my recent ticket trawls for Lord’s matches and the like.
I decided that I simply needed to fess up to Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett on arrival and we’d work out how I might get replacement tickets issued. I cannot be the first “gentleman with waning powers of memory” to travel to an Edgbaston test without his tickets, so there must be some sort of reissuing procedure and I knew Chas would have his ticket records with him.
I called Chas on arrival – he and The Boy Malloy had just gone down to the bar to meet Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks. Chas’s immediate reaction was that he had all the tickets in his care, including mine, as is usually the case…
…then he went on the same memory journey as I had travelled…he did remember handing me an Essex wallet and he did remember separating out tickets for me, for some reason…
…anyway, by the time I had showered and got to the Plough And Harrow Bar to join the lads, Chas had checked the ticket situation and discovered that he had them all.
We then both realised that the memory flash of Chas giving me my tickets in advance was from last year, when Daisy and I travelled up the night before and had pre-arranged to join the others at the ground for the start of the West Indies day/nighter:
Day/Night Test Match, England v West Indies, Edgbaston, 17 to 19 August 2017
Did the lads give me a ribbing for sort of forgetting my tickets…or rather for forgetting that I hadn’t forgotten my tickets?
Yes.
I tried to counter-rib by suggesting that they had forgotten to book Colbeh, stymieing our dinner plans, but that didn’t work. In fact, it is just as well that I saw Azlan from Colbeh as I walked past, as he said he was pretty full that night so I did genuinely make a booking that might just have saved our evening plans. Chapeau to Azlan for remembering my name from last year and the year before.
An Evening In Birmingham With Daisy, Dinner At Colbeh, 16 August 2017
Anyway, this year’s pre-match dinner at Colbeh comprised me, Chas and Nigel. The Boy Malloy had arranged to meet up with a friend at the Birmingham Cosy Club, the name of which drew a similar “oo er missus” type reaction from Chas and Nigel to that of the burghers of Leicestershire CCC, when I announced a similar meet up in Leicester a few weeks ago:
Three Days In Leicester Mostly For Cricket, 20 to 22 June 2018
The Colbeh Three (as Chas, Nigel and I should now be known) had a superb meal again this season at Colbeh. It is a joy to see how well that place is doing, Nigel and I having been early customers there a couple of years ago when it first opened. I think the food might still be getting better and better. When I got home, Daisy asked me if I had thanked Azlan for recommending the book The Saffron Tales to her, from which she has taken much pleasure and adapted several recipes. I admitted I hadn’t…
…until now. Thanks, Azlan.
Match Day One – On Making The Most Of Plenty: Copious Mrs Malloy Sandwiches c/w England’s Run Scoring
After a hearty breakfast based on kippers, I chose to walk directly from my digs at the Eaton Hotel to the ground. It is a lovely 45 minute walk across Edgbaston.
Ticket scanning and security is so well organised at Edgbaston these days; I was in the ground around 10:30 and heard the toss as I was entering the stand.
I was the first of our group to arrive, but there were quite a few people already seated in our block. Then a young man came along and sat in one of our seats. I said, “excuse me, that cannot be your seat”.
“Yes it is”, exclaimed the young man, “look!” He showed me his ticket. Block 06, Row A, Seat 5.
“You should be in Block 6”, I said, “this is Block 7”.
“No it isn’t”, said a few people seated around me, “this is Block 6”. I really was starting to worry about waning powers now, but turned around and saw, clearly on the wall behind me, the big “7” sign that indicates Block 7.
“It really is Block 7”, I said. “See the sign…”
…then one or two other people chimed in, “of course this is Block 7”.
But for some reason, perhaps an errant steward, perhaps group-think amongst several unconnected parties of people, 15 to 20 people got up and relocated to the real Block 6.
I had a good chortle with a few of the real Block 7 residents about that one.
Then I took the photograph below.
Then I started to wonder whether the others were ever going to show up; they are usually so keen to get to the ground in good time. Eventually show up they did; slightly frazzled/later than intended. Something about a wrong turn.
Heavy laden, they were, with a picnic fit for Heavy Rollers. Mrs Malloy had gone wild with the sandwiches this year: corned beef with mustard and smoked ham ones for the meat eaters, quorn chicken for the veggies, cheese for everyone and egg mayonnaise for everyone other than me.
Mrs Malloy had also gone wild with her gold-ink sandwich-pack labelling pen, to symbolise the impending golden anniversary of the Malloys.
We ascertained that Those Were The Days by Mary Hopkin was number one in the charts when the Malloys hitched; likewise when Harsha Ghoble was born. Very apt.
…but I digress again.
While we tucked in to the picnic for several hours, England seemed to be tucking in to the Indian bowling quite nicely too.
Ahead of our visit, I had written up one of our silly cricket matches from days of yore; the one in which a certain James Pitcher playing for Z/Yen ran out a lumbering Charley The Gent, with a brilliant and utterly unexpected direct hit:
Match Of The Day & Play Of The Day, Z/Yen v The Children’s Society, Holland Park, 22 June 2004
They say that history doesn’t repeat itself but it does rhyme. In a strange echo of the Charley The Gent run out from 2004, Joe Root was run out, while attempting a second run, by Virat Kohli, soon after tea. That incident and the rest of the day one highlights can be seen on this short reel:
Meanwhile, as England’s fortunes rapidly declined, Charley The Gent was insisting that we finish all the sandwiches today, withholding snacks and sweetmeats for the remaining days. “I have to be able to report to her that all the sandwiches went”, said Charley.
They all went. We were stuffed. We did not eat that evening. We simply met in the Plough and Harrow bar for a couple of glasses. We concluded that, although Charley hadn’t thrown away any sandwiches, England might well have thrown away the match in that last session.
Match Day Two – More On History Not Repeating Itself But Rhyming
After breakfast (I went full English today after last night’s dietary abstinence), again I walked to the ground directly from my hotel.
I had a particular purpose and route in mind today. I have been reading up on the history of tennis (real and lawn) and had uncovered a history of tennis piece from Country Life Magazine…
…scraped to here just in case…
…which mentions a particular address in Edgbaston, Fairlawn on Westbourne Road, as the home of Pelota, an early form of lawn tennis that most resembled the version that took hold and was possibly the first of that kind.
No longer is there a commemorative plaque and I wasn’t expecting late 20th century modern build flats either; I was expecting a somewhat distressed-looking Victorian villa, much like some of the neighbouring houses, which are mostly used as low key residential care homes or sheltered housing these days. Oh well; I’ve seen it now.
The lads arrived in good time today – no wrong turn.
Charley was a little sheepish; he’d been ticked off by Mrs Malloy for force-feeding us with infeasible quantities of sandwiches. She hadn’t honestly expected us to get through them all, she just wanted each of us to have plenty of choice.
“Can’t win”, said Charley, presumably in the matter of pleasing Mrs Malloy but perhaps he was thinking about the cricket match too.
We snacked while India seemed to establish their innings, until Sam Curran had other ideas and the match swung back to England until Kohli and the tail had yet other ideas…you get the idea.
It all reminded me a little of a couple of the excellent matches I have seen recently between Middlesex and Warwickshire; one at Edgbaston last year…
A Visit To Edgbaston, Mostly For Warwickshire v Middlesex, 3 to 5 July 2017
…the other at Lord’s, just a week or so before this test match:
I reflected that both of those close encounters had gone the way of my team…just. Would history thus rhyme for England, I wondered.
On the second of my leg-stretching sojourns, I spotted Tufty Trevor and Tufty Mike…
Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society, North Crawley CC, “Match Report”, 30 July 2006
…with there respective missuses, sitting right at the front of the block before the walkway we needed to use to get out of our Raglan Stand. The others must have walked past them obliviously several times. I stopped and chatted with the Tufties a while and alerted the other Rollers (especially Charley) on my return, enabling him to join the Tufties for a while later in the day.
Meanwhile our informal Heavy Rollers plan for dinner that evening – to dine (as we had done a couple of year’s previously) at Mr Idly’s Southern Indian establishment…
The Heavy Rollers, Edgbaston, England v Pakistan Days One to Three, 3 to 5 August 2016
…bit the dust when The Boy Malloy announced that he doesn’t like Indian food and a search to discover whether Mr Idly has other options revealed very poor recent reviews.
I did some extensive research and due diligence (didn’t these guys used to pay me to do this sort of thing, albeit on slightly bigger and more important procurement matters?) to uncover El Borracho De Oro (subsequently defunked) within spitting distance of the Plough & Harrow. With some difficulty, I managed to book it on-line so we were sorted.
While I was concentrating on all that, England’s fortunes slid again and by the end of Day two we were, one again, convinced that India had the edge.
Here is the ECB short highlights reel from that day:
El Borracho De Oro proved to be a good choice for dinner; the only shortcoming being the music noise. Also for future reference, the portion sizes were a little smaller than we expected so we possibly should have ordered more tapas – we’ll know for next time. It was very reasonably priced for its quality.
Apart from Charley disappearing back to the hotel to sort out an errant duplicate payment that wasn’t and Harsha disappearing to pick up on some work malarkey, it was a very cohesive, convivial and enjoyable evening.
Day Three – A Wonderful Day Of Test Cricket Leaving The Match Finely In The Balance
Back to the kippers for breakfast today, then I left my electricals and Benjy The Baritone Ukulele in the safe hands of Roberto at the Eaton before walking, for the last time this trip, to the ground.
Again the lads were in good time; indeed they got to the ground ahead of me this time. All except for Harsha, who had to deal with his business crisis before coming to the ground. I thought that might be the last we’d see of him, but in fact he turned up about 10 minutes into the day’s play. After a short committee meeting, we decided that he could participate in that day’s prediction game anyway, despite the additional inside knowledge that 10 minutes of play provides.
It didn’t help Harsha.
In fact, I was the biggest winner of the day; actually I showed positive on each of the three days – that might be a first.
Again the match tilted one way and then the other. Despair before lunch as England collapsed. Some respite after lunch as Curran tried to get England to a defensible score. Then joy as India collapsed. Then an impending sense of doom as India recovered somewhat late in the day, leaving the match perilously poised at the end of the day – probably just tilting in India’s favour.
Here is the ECB short highlights reel for Day three:
Chas kindly dropped me at my hotel to help speed me on my way – Daisy had invited some people over for dinner, although they all knew I would be back late. So we said our fond Heavy Roller farewells in the Eaton Hotel car park.
The Epilogue
It took me just under two hours to get back to Noddyland, where the dinner with Deni and Tony was only just underway, so I could shower and catch up with starters before joining the group for the main meal. Daisy has some pictures and I’ll report that separately.
London was sweltering – far hotter/muggier than Brum.
The next morning, Daisy and I did battle on the tennis court first thing. I gave it 120% and needed to do so in order to overcome a very keen Daisy. She felt that she ought to be able to beat me after I had sat around for three days watching cricket, eating and drinking. But I’m made of stern stuff.
As soon as we got home, just before the cricket started, Daisy kindly offered to do my washing from the trip, including the tennis kit in which I had just played. “Just pile it in front of the washing machine, ” she said.
When she came to the pile, she exclaimed, “urgh, what the hell is this? This is disgusting. What have you done?”
I wondered what on earth was the matter. I stepped in to find her holding my recently-worn briefs at arms length. “Have you wet yourself or something?”, she asked.
“No, I’ve just played an hour of rigorous tennis against you in sweltering heat, that’s all. You don’t normally do my washing and you certainly don’t normally see my sweaty undies before they have dried off a bit.”
“I don’t sweat like that”, said Daisy. I wondered whether to offer a short biology lesson but decided against.
Then we watched the cricket match pan out. If I gave the tennis 120%, then Ben Stokes must have given England 150%.
“I wonder whether Ben Stokes gets GBH of the earhole from his missus in the matter of his sweaty briefs”, I thought to myself, before deciding that “GBH of the earhole” was an unfortunate phrase in Ben Stokes’s context.
Ben Stokes’s performance and demeanour is well described in this excellent Guardian piece, which Nigel circulated to us rollers later that day. As Nigel said:
Just thought this bit of writing captured much of our experiences over our collective cricket-watching years
Chas responded:
The writer’s piece was wonderful and it made my emotions bubble up again! I believe he was absolutely spot on with the analysis of Stokes bowling, the brilliance, the commitment and the ‘gut renching’ dedication to win, no matter of the pain his body was suffering – because it was for the team – definitely some comparison to Freddie!
My major disappointment was not being there on Saturday to see and witness this fabulous and emotional win by England!!
Here is the ECB short highlights reel for the final day; those 90 minutes I witnessed on the TV rather than live:
All the match details and peripherals, good, bad and ugly, are on this Cricinfo resource.
This particular Heavy Rollers Edgbaston Test trip will live long in my memory as a classic amongst many wonderful Heavy Rollers experiences.
