Several Testing Days At Lord’s & White City, 12 to 16 August 2021

England v India Test At Lord’s Day One: Thursday 12 August 2021

This day did not start well. Even before we set off towards Lord’s, I got a message from Chas “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett that he was poorly and would be unable to attend with me on Day Two. Janie also picked up a message from one of her Samaritans friends cancelling their planned get together on Saturday.

Then we arrived at the Church Street car park, which I had booked more than a week ahead of time. A shifty young man was turning everyone away from the car park, even people (like us) with advanced bookings.

“The car park is completely full”, he said. We deployed the stand-off method, refusing to move the car and asking him to get the police when he said we were causing an obstruction. He phoned his boss, then simply let us in. The car park was far from completely full. Read into this incident what you will.

Dumbo’s space

When we returned in the evening to rescue Dumbo, we complained to a different young man who reluctantly provided me with the above sign to mark my spot for the next day. “Someone could remove the sign in the mean time”, he told me, ruefully, but he did promise to e-mail his colleague who would be on duty the next morning.

Meanwhile, we still got to Lord’s in good time to grab decent seats in a shadier/drier part of the Lower Warner. However, Janie soon became irritated by the “Champagne Charlies” behind us, who apparently started off by braying at each other about how much money they were making in the City just now and then went on to make disparaging remarks about women’s cricket.

Janie wondered why we were sitting in such a crowded place, while the Lower Tavern was sparsely populated. I explained my theories about the pecking order of Lord’s stands, with the Lower Tavern being the most despised of the Members & Friends stands.

“Let’s go over there, in that case”, said Janie. And that’s where we ended up spending the rest of Day One. I also returned there on Day Two solo and spent Day Four there with Janie.

Just before we decamped to the Lower Tavern, I received an e-mail from FoodCycle wondering whether Janie and I could possibly step in and host the White City project on the Saturday. Having had our Saturday plans messed up, we said yes to that request; we felt that the only decent thing that had happened to us so far that day was getting press-ganged into volunteering for a superbly good cause.

The other thing I did while on the wander was to see if Chris Swallow needed someone to make up the numbers for tennis on Day Two. As I was to be guestless I might as well and could use the exercise during the test match. As it happened, there was a vacancy and the suggestion helped out.

Janie’s opinion of Lord’s pitches was not improved by the Day One tally of just three wickets, although I thought England bowled without luck at first and without penetration after that.

Day Two: Friday 13 August 2021

An austere look for a day without Charley The Gent

I’m delighted to report that Dumbo’s parking space awaited him, without fuss, when I arrived at the car park on the Friday. It does have to be said that the “reserved” marker had, however, been removed.

I was hoping to place the seats I had obtained for me and Chas, so I decamped to the Lower Tavern while awaiting word from various folk, none of whom could muster a cricket lover or two at such short notice. The number of people who have said, subsequently, “oh, but if you had called me…”

Anyway, I snacked very modestly, drank water and read a bit, while following the increasingly interesting cricket match.

I chatted for a while with a nice chap named Richard who was similarly guestless that day.

Despite the absence of Charley, I enjoyed the day’s cricket. Chas would have loved it.

I also enjoyed a good hour of tennis doubles late in the day, with Dominic, Paul and Nick. My first game of doubles for a while – a good warm up for the “Doctors Of Leamington” fixture on Sunday.

Day Three: Saturday 14 August 2021 – FoodCycle White City

I didn’t take any photos of this particular gig, but the photo below shows the venue last year, when we were doing food delivery services from there.

Janie with Father “Friar Tuck” Richard & other White City volunteers

The gig on Day three of the test match was a cook and collect service along similar lines to the services we provide out of Marylebone. Fortunately hosting that service was not too onerous for us, as they really did have a shortage of volunteers that week, with only one other hosting volunteer. Talk about vacancies…

Still, we successfully gave away all the food and then went on to play tennis at Boston Manor Park, which we enjoyed, before watching the end of Day Three of the test match on the telly.

Day Four: Sunday 15 August 2021 – England v India at cricket plus Ged Ladd & The Doctors Of Leamington Feat. Mr Johnny Friendly at tennis

The commentatorat in front of the Allen Stand

Keen to get a prime parking place near Lord’s – probably more in demand on test match Sunday than prime seats in the despised Lower Tavern stand, we got to Lord’s early and had some fun snapping the pre match atmosphere.

Haseeb Hameed looking keen as mustard

Dinesh Kartik dressed low key for once, with Ian Ward

Photo-bombing my own selfie

I was due on court at 12:00 for a long-arranged game of tennis with “The Doctors Of Leamington” and Mr Johnny Friendly. The latter spotted me & Janie (Daisy) in the despised Lower Tavern and told me that the court was free from 11:30 and that the Doctors were keen to start early, so I actually only caught the first 20 minutes or so of cricket before retiring to the tennis court.

As it turned out, the Doctors were waylaid, so Johnny Friendly and I played at singles for a while until the Doctors arrived, which seemed to warm me up rather well.

Daisy joined us for the last few minutes of our hour, observing/filming a little from the dedans. The following clip shows me scoring a couple of strokes before making a bit of a mess of the third return, delivering a bestial roar for my pains:

Worth the price of admission alone, this 34 second clip.

After tennis, we joined the good doctors for some traditional picnic in the vicinity of the Coronation Garden, which seemed a little crowded for our taste but fortunately the Doctors had taken a well-located bench on the outer perimeter of the garden.

Eventually we returned to our seats and watched the afternoon’s cricket, which was actually quite absorbing and left the match well poised, such that I resolved to return on the Monday.

Day Five: Monday 16 August 2021

I decided to drive to the North-Eastern edge of Kensington, which is slightly closer to Lord’s than my flat. In any case, the parking space outside the flat was suspended to allow Bill to put in my new boiler, so there was doubly no good reason to go there.

The more or less due East walk from that parking place to Lord’s, mostly along the canal footpath, was a delight. Although I have spent much of my life very close to that path – e.g. at the Canal Cafe Theatre, I’d never previously walked that line, as it were.

Refreshed from the walk, I tried to take up position in the Upper Tavern Stand, only to be rudely ejected.

You can’t come in here, Sir, it’s been sold to the public!

Apparently demand had been so great for Day Five tickets from Joe Public, but not so much from members, that we were to be “penned in” to the Allen/Pavilion/Warner Stands.

I chose the Warner – mercifully Champagne Charlies don’t do day fives.

Towards the end of the day I relocated to the Lower Allen, as I could see there was plenty of space and I fancied a quick getaway.

I read, I watched cricket, England came second in the end but that aspect seemed…secondary.

Here is a link to Cricinfo’s scorecard and resources on the match.

I also concluded a highly scientific experiment for King Cricket, which I had started at The Hundred matches between London Spirit & Northern Superchargers a couple of weeks earlier and concluded at this test match. It is written up in the following piece:

If anything ever goes awry with King Cricket’s site, you can find that vital piece of science here.

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