Special Relationship Medley, NewsRevue Material, Perhaps Unsubmitted, 15 August 1995

This material is a bit all over the place – I have a feeling it was not submitted in this form but a holding pen waiting for some other material and a bit of mix and match. Other medleys had done well for me that year.

I did submit the Star Spangled School Tie separately at one point. I quite like the Al Gore short.

SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP MEDLEY
(To various US and UK patriotic tunes)
LAND OF HOPELESS TORIES
(To the tune of “Land of Hope and Glory”)

Land of hopeless Tories,
Mother of all teams;
How can we extol thee,
Who art born for greed?
Wider still and wider gulf twixt poor and rich,
God who made John Major can’t you make him less kitsch,
God who made Mag Thatcher, can’t you silence the bitch?

AL GORE’S BODY
(To the tune of “John Brown’s Body”)

Al Gores body stands a-sweating in his suit,
Al Gore’s body stands perspiring in his suit,
Al Gore’s body stands a-sweltering in his suit,
And it is a Gucci one.
Gore-ee, Gore-ee, Al and Tipper
Gore-ee, Gore-ee, Al and Tipper
Gore-ee, Gore-ee, Al and Tipper
In a Fiarucci thong.

RULE NEWT GINGRICH
(To the tune of “Rule Britannia”)

While Clinton never never never toked or poked,
Newt Gi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ingrich was acquiring the right wing vote,
In order to so gently shake Bill by the throat;
This was for starters, as violence stormed the land,
And Guardian A-a-a-angels steamed the train.
Rule Newt Gingrich,
He thinks he rules the States,
Newt and Clinton never never shall be mates.

STAR SPANGLED OLD SCHOOL TIE
(To the tune of “Star Spangled Banner”)

I say, can you see by the club’s faded light,
What so proudly we wear since the day we ceased schooling?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the commercial plight,
Copped us all the top jobs even if young and foolish.
The school tie got us there,
Even young Tony Blaire,
Isn’t so much hot air,
So he sends his kids there.
I say, does that spangled old school tie hold sway,
O’er the land of the free if they can afford to pay.

SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
(To the tune of “God Save Our Gracious Queen” and/or “God Save America”)

BRITS: Special relationship,
YANKS United Nations quip,
BRITS: Lend us some dosh.
YANKS: You’ve had your Marshall aid,
BRITS: Come on, you’ll be repaid,
ALL (indicating towards the nuptial couple) This couple’s wanting to get……home,
While the rest get sloshed.

The Al Gore snippet reminds me of (was probably inspired by) Allan Sherman’s wonderful “The Ballad of Harry Lewis”:

Here also is a slightly different version of that medley page, designed as a solo:

N SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP MEDLEY N
(To various US and UK patriotic tunes)
LAND OF HOPELESS TORIES
(To the tune of “Land of Hope and Glory”)

Land of hopeless Tories, mother of all teams;
How can we extol thee, who art born for greed?
Wider still and wider gulf twixt poor and rich,
God who made John Major can’t you make him less kitsch,
God who made Mag Thatcher, can’t you silence the bitch?

AL GORE’S BODY
(To the tune of “John Brown’s Body”)

Al Gores body stands a-sweating in his suit,
Al Gore’s body stands perspiring in his suit,
Al Gore’s body stands a-sweltering in his suit, and it is a Gucci one.
Gore-ee, Gore-ee, Al and Tipper
Gore-ee, Gore-ee, Al and Tipper
Gore-ee, Gore-ee, Al and Tipper, in a Fiarucci thong.

RULE NEWT GINGRICH
(To the tune of “Rule Britannia”)

While Clinton never never never toked or poked,
Newt Gi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ingrich was acquiring the right wing vote,
In order to so gently shake Bill by the throat;
This was for starters, as violence stormed the land,
And Guardian A-a-a-angels steamed the train.
Rule Newt Gingrich, he thinks he rules the States,
Newt and Clinton never never shall be mates.

STAR SPANGLED OLD SCHOOL TIE
(To the tune of “Star Spangled Banner”)

I say, can you see by the club’s faded light,
What so proudly we wear since the day we ceased schooling?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the commercial plight,
Copped us all the top jobs even if young and foolish.
The school tie got us there,
Even young Tony Blaire,
Isn’t so much hot air,
So he sends his kids there.
I say, does that spangled old school tie hold sway,
O’er the land of the free if they can afford to pay.

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