I don’t think this one was used much, if at all. Sketches were not my strongest suit.
RABIES THREAT (A Sketch for fox, rat and Rabbi Lionel Blue. Fox and rat have stage French accents)
RAT:Bonjour, fox. What are you doing here in the channel tunnel? (Salivates wildly.)
FOX:Comment ca va, rat? I am going across to Britain of course. (Also salivates wildly).
RAT:But you must be crazy. There is no cheep booze to be bought over there. And besides, the English are paranoid about le rabies. They will shoot you before you can say Jacques Chirac. (Salivates wildly.)
FOX:OK, Monsieur smarty pants. If you are so damned clever, what are you doing here in a thirty five mile long tunnel, laced with rat poison and with not so much as a single scrap of Camembert? (Salivates etc….)
(But before rat can reply, Rabbi Lionel Blue appears on the stage)
RAT:Sacre bleu!! Who is this weirdo coming along the tunnel?
FOX:Vraiment bleu!! C’est Rabbi Lionel Bleu.
BLUE:Good morning, fox. Good morning rat. Good morning everybody. A dear, dear friend of mine asked me just the other day, “Lionel”, he asked, “why do you rabbis always answer a question with a question?” “Why shouldn’t we?” I replied…..
RAT:Rabbi Bleu. What on earth are you doing wandering along half way through the channel tunnel?
BLUE:Why shouldn’t I? And besides, my script says that there is a serious danger of rabbis entering Britain through the channel tunnel.
FOX:I’ll kill that script editor (salivates wildly).
BLACKOUT