A rather unconvincing wooden Trojan Horse monument at Troy
We knew we were in for a long drive from Çanakkale to Pamukkale that day, but still wanted to see Troy before setting off on the longest leg of our road trip.
Having been spoilt the previous few days…
In truth, after Ephesus and Pergamon the previous couple of days, Troy was rather a disappointment.
…the ruins of Troy didn’t really hack it for us. View from the fake Trojan Horse
Troy has been built, razed and rebuilt many times, possibly not always in exactly the same place. There’s not a lot to see and it all seemed a bit confused/confusing/unconvincing. The wooden horse thing depicted above was a particular source of my de4rision on the day.
Excavated bridge into on of the old city’s was probably the highlight
Then the long drive to Pamukkale. It was billed as being over six hours and my goodness that’s what it took. We shared the driving and/but needed the odd pit stop, so we were really quite nervous towards the end of the drive as we realised that we had failed to get to our destination before dark and would be driving the last 45 minutes or so in darkness.
But get there we did. I think Ros had recommended the place we stayed and by gosh that was relaxing and fun. But that’s for the next write up.
Daisy hadn’t much enjoyed doing the driving in those first couple of days; driving in and out of Izmir is not much fun and was traffic heavy almost all the time.
But when we set off from Izmir in the direction of Pergamon, we hit open road quite quickly…
…so Daisy took the opportunity to hit that road quickly – 90 to 100 kmph…
…until the speed cops flagged us down, about 5 minutes outside Izmir.
Although Janie was doing the driving, I thought best that I act as spokesperson for our team.
The police officer pointed at the speed sign, which read “70 km”. He tried to say “seventy kilometres an hour” in English.
Ah, I said, kilometres…not miles…
“Ingiliz”, said the officer to his mates, as if to confirm his theory. “Kilometres” he said to me, pointedly.
I thought we might get away with it, but he then promptly wrote out the above ticket and pointed to where I needed to go to settle the bill.
140,000.
That’s harsh. 140,000 just for speeding.
Then it dawned on me that there were 82,000 Turkish Lira to the £.
The fine was £1.70
I might have paid £1.70 for the beautiful certificate we were given as a souvenir.
Asclepon – the medical centre at PergamonPergamon TownThe Acropolis
After the stunning sights of Pergamon, we drove on to Çanakkale, keen to get there before dark.
We just about made it, although once we got to the town, we struggled to find one of the recommended hotels open. But we did find one that looked just fine; the Grand Anzac.
I recall we also managed to find a good meal in that charming coastal town.
The collective memory (Ged & Daisy) of this part of the trip is a bit foggy. Ros might be able to help us to fill in one or two gaps.
We arrived in Izmir in the afternoon of 11th and collected our Avis car, which was to be our companion for the next week.
I’m not sure why we ended up at the Izmir Palace Hotel for a couple of nights; perhaps Lonely Planet recommendations, perhaps Ros suggested that combination for our routing.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure that, once we had collected our car and navigated the Izmir traffic, we didn’t much fancy doing anything else that day we arrived. I’m sure we had a decent meal, either at the Hotel itself or somewhere recommended nearby.
It was well cold, but I’d paid for the balcony so I was going to use it!
We had arranged to see Ros the next day. I think she lived in Kuşadası at that time, so the plan was to meet at/near Ephesus, which Daisy and I were in any case very keen to see.
We have no photographic evidence of Ros joining us that day, but I am sure she did, at least for a while. Whether she came all around the Ephesus ruins with us or not I cannot recall. I do remember her not wanting to be photographed that day, although she relented on the matter of photographs when we met up with her again on the way back from our road trip, at the very end of our visit to Turkey.
Ros might remember this day better and/or differently.
Anyway, here are some of our photos from the fabulous ruins of Ephesus.
A life in the Great Theatre, darling!What a Great LibraryStroll the Arcadian WayMore splendours of Ephesus
Janie and I spent 10 days in Turkey that autumn. Unusually, I didn’t keep a written log, so these Ogblog pieces come from the photo-log we made up on our return and some additional memories that survive.
On arrival from London at Istanbul airport, we were met and taken to our Istanbul hotel, the Sokullu Paşa Hotel. That place is well located in the historic district of Istanbul, so we simply found a local restaurant that first evening and enjoyed a traditional Turkish meal.
The Sokullu Paşa HotelOur “Old Town” neighbourhood
Our first proper bit of touring, the next morning, was to the Cağaloğlu Hamam, a traditional Turkish bath dating back to the mid 18th century. The headline photo shows me outside the place.
I kept the leaflet they handed us – see below.
I think that’s me relaxing after my steam and scrub
Janie and I both enjoyed the benefits of that place. We had to go separately, of course, but both procured the full works – i.e. steam and scrub.
Comparing notes afterwards, both of us were scrubbed by a big burley person who might be mistaken for being scary. In fact, my abiding memory of the place was a brief chat with a fair-skinned fellow with a Germanic accent who arrived slightly later than me and who had, like me, procured “the works”. I’ll never forget the nervous expression on his pale face when he saw the giant masseuse arrive for me and start scrubbing, as he knew that his turn was soon to come.
In truth, I think I like my exfoliation and massage to be a slightly gentler treatment than the traditional Turkish, but it was a wonderful experience to have the full hammam treatment in such an historic venue.
The Blue Mosque
After the hammam, we went off to see the sights for a couple of days! I’m not entirely sure which sights we saw on which days, but I have a feeling we went to see the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia on that first day, leaving the rest of the Istanbul touring until the next day.
Inside Hagia Sophia
My photo notes remind me that we ran into one of my mates from Lambton Place health Club in Hagia Sophia, but I’m scratching my head to try to remember who it was.
I’m pretty sure we ventured a bit further form our hotel for dinner that second night, finding a place with a stunning view across the water that refused to be photographed with old-fashioned flash guns.
Topkapi
The next day we spent a lot of time in and around Topkapi Palace.
Views from the top of TopkapiHarem with a viewThe Pavilion of Murad III – beautiful tiles but I couldn’t find the honours board
We also visited the Grand Bazaar that day.
I’m pretty sure we found a local eatery again on our final night – again finding it easy enough to follow our noses (possibly with a little help from Lonely Planet) and find excellent food at unsilly prices.
This time, I went up to Keele by car, meeting Mike Smith & David Foreman for dinner. I stayed at the Post House, just the one night, then on to Manchester on business on the Friday, staying again at the then reasonably rated Britannia Hotel, subsequently not so well rated.
Janie joined me by train as she was doing a weekend foot physical therapy course at one of the Universities.
I don’t think I saw Ashley in Manchester on that occasion – I’m not sure he was yet there or if he was I wasn’t aware of it. On some of Janie’s subsequent visits I was able to spend some time with him.
I think I just read and worked a bit while Janie did her course.
On Sunday I drove us back to London.
Very early Monday I went to Waterloo to take the Eurostar to Brussels with Michael Mainelli & Kevin Parker. I think Janie might even have driven me to the station.
Two days in Brussels and I had my brick (mobile phone) swiped on the Eurostar home.
LIST OF SONGS SUBMITTED AND TAPE TRACK LISTING
OCTOBER to NOVEMBER 1995 RUN
Dear Fraser & Jez
Welcome!! It was good to meet you last night. I really did think the show was the best opening night I had seen for ages, despite the lack of my songs. I feel really badly that you got no starter pack from me last week but no-one told me you were due to start – the last run only had 5 weeks and normally the runs have six. This starter pack consists of all previously unperformed songs.
Call me and let me know if you are short of any subjects or styles and I shall try to oblige. Also, if any of these need a bit of rewrite then I am happy to change them on request.
Keep it up and I look forward to seeing you soon.
Song Title/Original Title/Artist on Tape Aprox. No. of weeks performed
7+ 4-6 1-3 New
side 1
louis farrakhan-can/orpheus in the underworld / offenbach New
william shakespeare’s ragtime show/alexander’s ragtime band / bessie smith New
star spangled old school tie/star spangled banner / some awful troupe New
handing over hong kong/rama lama ding dong / rocky sharpe and the replays New
Louis Farrakhan, somewhat controversially, visited the UK in the autumn of 1995.
I wrote a song and dance to accompany this news story. Several performers told me that it was extremely challenging to perform. But perform it they did and it was truly wonderful to see. Far better as a spectacle than as a piece of writing, but sadly only the writing survives.
Still, the writing, along with your imagination, should be good enough; this is one of my best comedy pieces, in my humble opinion.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN-CAN (To the Tune of “The Can-Can”)
VERSE 1
Mr Louis Farrakhan is from The Nation of Islam, He’s not calm, sounds alarm and cannot be described as charming; Permanently angry and his standards set you up to fail, Lest you are by chance a Muslim who is straight and black and male.
What a bigot, (that remark is not PC), He’s a fat git (not his fault that he’s portly); What’s a faggot? (ball of meat in rich gravy), He does rabbit on and on and on and on and on and on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnn….
CHORUS 1
(That damned) Louis Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan, (he is a loony) Farrakhan, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan, that’s Farrakhan; (He’s) non-Jewish and intensely shrewish with invective poo-ish as a pan (that’s full of sewage) He’s the man, Louis Farrakhan-can, who is one to ban-ban soon, or else he’ll slander you.
VERSE 2
Mr Louis Farrakhan his gob is totally massive, He makes Ian Paisley come across as calm and wholly passive Rants and raves excessively, he don’t like homosexuals, Sensual fe-ma-les, liberals, Israel’s, sensible victuals, Papal bulls, all he ever talks is ballssss….. CHORUS 2
(That damned) Louis Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan, (he is a loony) Farrakhan, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan;
OUTRO COMMENCES
He is a loony and his name is Farrakhan, These lines repeat but do not always seem to scan. So let us rant and rave excessively like Louis Farrakhan, And pack as many words per second as the human larynx can.
CODA
His name is Louis Farrakhan, he is a loony Farrakhan; Thank God, it’s the coda Cos he is, he is THE END!!!!!!!
The video below (with far more people than NewsRevue’s cast of four) will give you some idea about the tune (the main theme and coda) and some of the choreography involved. I recall one NewsRevue cast forming some sort of a human pyramid…
I’m not too sure what this lyric was about – presumably some sort of jazz fundraiser for the nascent Globe back then. Hardly big news and I don’t think this lyric made the NewsRevue show.
Shame really, it has some good lines. I might try to revive it as a performance piece of my own for my baroq-ulele.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE’S RAGTIME SHOW
(To the Tune of “Alexander’s Ragtime Band”)
VERSE 1
Come on and see, come on and see,
William Shakespeare’s ragtime show;
Come on and see, come on and see,
It’s the best show in the Globe.
You can corpse at comedy or you’ll learn from history,
Close the play with carnage if the show’s a tragedy;
This card’s the best bard by a yard, at least that far.
Come on along, come on along,
As You Like It, Much Ado;
Come on along, come on along,
Henry Four Parts One and Two;
And if you wanna see that Julius Caesar play set rag style,
Come on and see, come on and see,
William Shakespeare’s ragtime show.
VERSE 2
Come on and see, come on and see,
William Shakespeare’s ragtime show,
Come on and hear, come on and hear,
Sing a rag hey nonny no.
With a funny sense of rhyme, called iambic pantomime,
Make heroic speeches then go murder eight or nine,
This show is so Tarantino meets Sarajevo;
Come on along, come on along,
Mix up twins then all marry,
Come on along, come on along,
Play a jazz soliloquy;
And if you want to hear “Hey Nonny Nonny” syncopated,
OUTRO
Come on and hear, come on and hear,
William Shakespeare’s ragtime,
Little boys in drag time,
William Shakespeare’s ragtime show.
Here’s a YouTube of Louis Armstrong singing Alexander’s Ragtime Band:
This was a West End transfer from the Chichester Festival, which had been so well received that even we set aside our West-End show scepticism to see it in Theatreland.
We weren’t disappointed. This was a very good production of a very good play. It is basically about the denazification investigation of the German conductor Wilhelm Furtwängler.
Michael Pennington & Daniel Massey played the lead roles, investigating officer major Arnold & Furtwängler respectively. Harold Pinter added yet more gravitas by directing it.
Fellow writer Neil Watson directed in the autumn of 1995. Unusually no record of the submissions I made to him; perhaps we’d had a very specific conversation at the writers’ meeting.
Neil Watson 28 September 1995
(Hammersmith W6 address redacted)
Dear Neil
THAT STUFF I PROMISED YOU
I finally got round to printing out an up to date pack of songs for you. Obviously there are many others which could either be updated, revised or simply ignored. This pack represents the most likely lot.
