The Web was pretty new, changing rapidly all the time and only just starting to become a big thing in 1995.
I wrote several versions of this lyric – the first in August, the other two in November. I think Version 2 is the best so I am showing it first. I think this got a fair old run in the show, hence the upgrading.
Prescient lyric, I’d call it. Prescient.
SURF THE INTERNET – NOW UPGRADED!! – VERSION 2
(To the Tune of “Surfin’ USA”)
VERSE 1
If everybody had a modem and PC to connect,
Then everybody’d be surfin’ across the Internet;
You bet their wearing their shell suits, and baggy anoraks,
And greasy, smelly, streaked hair-dos,
Surf the Internet.CHORUS 1
They’ll all be surfin’ in Cambridge, {CHORUS: inside jargon Internet}
And up in Milton Keynes; {CHORUS: Gopher and Kermit the Internet}
The latest wheeze for accountants, {CHORUS: Birdshit and Dogspoo the Internet}
Instead of counting beans; {CHORUS: just made up some crap on the Internet}
In the house or the office, {CHORUS: Website analysis the Internet}
The flat or maisonette; {CHORUS: Virtual paralysis….}
ALL: Everybody’s gone surfin’
On the Internet.VERSE 2
We’ll all be planning out a Web, with Netscape front, no doubt,
We’re waxing down our Barbours although we never go out;
Upgrading our hardware for Windows ’95,
And if we didn’t send you e-mail, you wouldn’t know we’re still alive.CHORUS 2
They’ll all be surfin’ in Oxford, {CHORUS: inside jargon Internet}
And down in Basingstoke; {CHORUS: Gopher and Kermit the Internet}
Better key in a smiley, {CHORUS: Birdshit and Dogspoo the Internet}
So readers know its a joke;-) {CHORUS: just made up some crap on the Internet}
In the house or the office, {CHORUS: Website analysis the Internet}
The flat or maisonette; {CHORUS: Virtual paralysis….}
Everybody’s gone surfin’ on the Internet.
BTW surfin’ across the Internet,
IMO they’re surfin’ on the Internet,
FYI we’re surfin’ on the Internet,
TTFN surfin’, surf the Internet.
Here are the Beach Boys singing Surfin’ USA, with lyrics:
For completist collectors of my lyrics, here are the other two versions of this lyric – you can pick’n’mix if you wish.
Version One:
SURF THE INTERNET
(To the Tune of “Surfin’ USA”)VERSE 1
If everybody had a modem and PC to connect,
Then everybody’d be surfin’ across the Internet;
You bet their wearing their shell suits, and baggy anoraks,
And greasy, smelly, streaked hair-dos,
Surf the Internet.CHORUS 1
They’ll all be surfin’ in Cambridge, {CHORUS: inside jargon Internet}
And up in Milton Keynes; {CHORUS: Gopher and Kermit the Internet}
The latest wheeze for accountants, {CHORUS: Birdshit and Dogspoo the Internet}
Instead of counting beans; {CHORUS: just made up some crap on the Internet}
In the house or the office, {CHORUS: Website analysis the Internet}
The flat or maisonette; {CHORUS: Virtual paralysis….}
ALL: Everybody’s gone surfin’
On the Internet.VERSE 2
We’ll all be planning out a Web, with Netscape front, no doubt,
We’re waxing down our Barbours although we never go out;
We’re all into the jargon, and smiley epithets,
BTW surfin’ across the Internet,
IMO they’re surfin’ on the Internet,
FYI we’re surfin’ on the Internet,
TTFN surfin’, surf the Internet.
Version Three:
SURF THE INTERNET – NOW UPGRADED FOR WINDOWS 95!!
(To the Tune of “Surfin’ USA”)
VERSE 1If everybody had a modem and PC to connect,
Then everybody’d be surfin’ across the Internet;
You bet their wearing their shell suits, and baggy anoraks,
And greasy, smelly, streaked hair-dos,
Surf the Internet.CHORUS 1
They’ll all be surfin’ in Cambridge, {CHORUS: let’s all go surf the Internet}
And up in Milton Keynes; {CHORUS: jargon and stuff on the Internet}
The latest wheeze for accountants, {CHORUS: what’s it all worth on the Internet?}
Instead of counting beans; {CHORUS: how ‘ja’ kill a smurf on the Internet?}
In the house or the office, {CHORUS: meet lots of Yanks on the Internet}
The flat or maisonette; {CHORUS: porn for your wanks, hmmmm ……..}
ALL: Everybody’s gone surfin’
On the Internet.VERSE 2
We’ll all be planning out a Web, and dreaming of Sandra Bullock’s,
We’re loading up new software, Netscape’s a load of bollocks;
Upgrading our hardware for Windows ’95,
And if we didn’t send you e-mail, you wouldn’t know we’re still alive.CHORUS 2
They’ll all be surfin’ in Oxford, {CHORUS: let’s all go surf the Internet}
And down in Basingstoke; {CHORUS: jargon and stuff on the Internet}
Better key in a smiley, {CHORUS: what’s it all worth on the Internet?}
So readers know its a joke;-) {CHORUS: how ‘ja’ kill a smurf on the Internet?}
In the house or the office, {CHORUS: meet lots of Yanks on the Internet}
The flat or maisonette; {CHORUS: porn for your wanks….hmmmm}
Everybody’s gone surfin’ on the Internet.
BTW surfin’ across the Internet,
IMO they’re surfin’ on the Internet,
FYI we’re surfin’ on the Internet,
TTFN surfin’, surf the Internet.
