Author: Ian Louis Harris

Reduced To Tears By My First Consultancy Assignment, 27 January 1989

No-one said it was going to be easy, switching from freshly qualified Chartered Accountant to hot shot management consultant as soon as I qualified.

But there was one low point towards the end of my first consultancy assignment for Binder Hamlyn, trying to resolve a seemingly irreconcilable problem for Save The Children Fund (SCF), thus named back then, when I spread all of my hand-written notes and attempted spaghetti-looking work flow and data flow diagrams all over the living room of my little then-rented flat in Clanricarde Gardens…

…and burst into tears.

Quite a lengthy burst if I remember correctly. Four minutes, possibly, which you might choose to time by listening to the following while reading on:

Why hadn’t I listened to the recruitment agent who said that I needed a lot more work experience before I’d be ready for management consultancy?

Why didn’t I walk out of the job on day one, when I learnt that I had been recruited as part of a turf war and that the person who was now to be my boss, Michael Mainelli, had been angered by other partners recruiting me while Michael was away on a short break?

And of all the tough “sink or swim” assignments Michael might have allocated me to at the very start of this seemingly-soon-to-be-foreshortened career, why did it have to be something my heart really was in – a project that might, if successful, substantially help SCF, one of the most important charities in the world?

Of course, you realise, the story has a happy enough ending. Michael and I are still working together thirty years later (as I write in January 2019) – for most of that time in the business we founded together in 1994: Z/ Yen:

Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe First Part – Sumer Is Icomen In, Spring 1994

I also met Ian Theodoreson, then a young, up-and-coming Finance Director at SCF. Ian continued to be a client on and off throughout the decades and we have remained in touch even since he gave up on major charity roles – e.g. this get together last year.

Two Sweltering Days At Lord’s, The First With Ian Theodoreson, The Second With Rohan Candappa – Part One: With Ian T, 23 July 2018

Yes, somehow the project did turn out to be a success. After the tears, I realised that I needed to focus the report on the evidence-based conclusions I had reached and the single bright idea I had come up with in the several weeks I had spent with SCF.

Little did I know back then that:

  • having even one bright idea during a 20 day assignment is a significant success if that idea is helpful/valuable enough and finds enough favour to be implemented;
  • the seemingly irreconcilable problem I encountered at SCF was an example of a perennial problem in all organisations that have potentially complex relationships with their customers, members or donors. If you can even partially solve or make progress despite that “natural fault line”, you’ve done well;
  • this single assignment would prove to be career-defining for me in so many ways. In part because it cemented my place at Binder Hamlyn working with Michael as well as other partners. In part because I still spend much of my working time with charities and membership organisations (albeit looking at wider issues). In part because many of the things I learnt on that challenging assignment stood me in good stead for later challenges in the subsequent decades.

Ogblog is primarily a “life” retroblog, not a “work” one, so this piece is a rarity – perhaps even a one-off – being more work than life. But this period was such a major change for me, not least in shifting my work-life balance substantially towards work for several decades, that I feel bound to write it up. I also spotted some intriguing notes on the diary pages for those first few weeks of January 1989.

Compared with late 1988, this is almost all work, not much life.
That meeting with Ian Theodoreson on 10 January will have been my first formal meeting with Ian and possibly even the first time I met him at all, although we might have had a “canteen chat” in Mary Datchelor House (the SCF offices back then) before we met formally. I was making a point of being visible in the canteen for informal chats throughout the project; a technique I had leaned from my Student Union sabbatical experience just a few years earlier. I also note that I had spelt Ian’s surname incorrectly back in 1989, a mistake I was to repeat (differently) on the acknowledgements page of the hard cover edition of Price of Fish. Sorry, again, Ian.
Again, lots of work, not all that much life there. A second meeting with Ian, now mis-spelling his name in the same way as The Price of Fish error – at least some sort of consistency set in. Hannah and Peter on the Thursday evening are my neighbours from downstairs. Peter is still downstairs – Hannah (Peter’s mum) returned to Germany some years ago and is spending her dotage there. I cannot remember the evening of 22 January 1989 with Caroline – I’ll guess that I cooked Caroline dinner at Clanricarde given the time and lack of other information in the diary. Caroline has reciprocated – most recently at the time of writing a week or so ago!
The amusing entry on this page is the morning of 25 January. Someone suggested that I visit Barnardo’s by way of comparison with SCF. I’m not sure who provided the above assistance for my journey, but it reads:

Barkingside St. [Station] Church – beside it c60s US “Prison”

Anyone who has visited the Barnardo’s campus would recognise that “1960s US Prison” description and it should make them smile. It would be ironic if it had been Ian Theodoreson who provided that helpful description for my journey, as he subsequently spent many years as Director of Corporate Services there and I did several assignments at that Barnardo’s campus, in the late 1990s and early years of this century.

Please also note “G Jenny” in small writing for 26th evening and then again on the Saturday afternoon. I know that I deferred my visit to Grandma Jenny 26th because I had a report deadline looming…

…in fact the “evening of tears” might have been 26th not 27th…

…but I also know that the report deadline was really for the Monday morning, when I needed to go into the office with the report ready for review. So I also remember postponing Grandma Jenny again on the Saturday, while dinner with Jilly I think went ahead after I finished my draft report on the Saturday.

I put Grandma Jenny back into the book for the following Tuesday and I’m sure I will have gone that evening. She forgave me for the multiple rescheduling I’m sure, especially when she learnt that I was doing work for a charity in which she believed strongly. I also remember her imparting the following worldly advice to me several times during that era:

all work and no joy makes Jack a dull boy.

Well of course there was joy as well as work during those “hard yards” weeks and months at the start of my consultancy career. But I don’t suppose there was much joy inside my tears on that evening, when I thought it was all going horribly wrong.

Maybe I even cried for the six-and-a-half minutes it takes to listen to this Dowland-ish Stevie Wonder song.

Pentecost by Stewart Parker, Lyric Studio, 25 January 1989

An after work visit to the theatre with Bobbie on a Wednesday evening. The Lyric Studio did really high quality fringe stuff back then. This cast included Adrian Dunbar, Dearbhla Molloy and Michelle Fairley would you believe?

This production was actually the Tricycle Theatre (or do I now have to say “Kiln” even when discussing productions gone by?) in exile at the Lyric Studio. Hence Nicholas Kent directing.

Stewart Parker had died recently, which I suppose led quite rapidly to this production of his last play in London. I found this interesting essay about him on Jstor.

I don’t remember all that much about this play/production, other than it being pretty impressive for a small studio production and being very Northern Irish in tone and subject matter. The acting and directing was top notch.

Will Bobbie remember more about it? I’ll ask.

Below is Michael Billington’s touching review:

Billington on Parker PentecostBillington on Parker Pentecost Wed, Jan 11, 1989 – 46 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Ratcliffe’s Observer review:

Ratcliffe on PentecostRatcliffe on Pentecost Sun, Jan 15, 1989 – 46 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Smelling A Rat by Mike Leigh, Hampstead Theatre, Then Jilly’s Party, 14 January 1989

This was at the old Hampstead Theatre – the portacabin-like place quite near the new Hampstead (i.e. also Swiss Cottage). The place had a proud tradition by 1989, not least in the matter of Mike Leigh plays.

What a fine cast – as always with Mike Leigh who seems to be a magnet for talent – including Timothy Spall, Saskia Reeves and Brid Brennan.

I do remember really liking this play/production. It was, in some ways, the sort of cheesy farce I tend not to like. But being Mike Leigh, it was sort-of an antidote to such farces, much as Noises Off by Michael Frayn is sort-of farce, sort-of antidote.

Here is the Theatricalia link for this play/production.

Dramaonlinelibrary.com has a synopsis of the play – click here.

Below is Kate Kellaway’s Observer review:

Kellaway on SmellingKellaway on Smelling Sun, Dec 11, 1988 – 41 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian Review:

Billington on SmellingBillington on Smelling Tue, Dec 13, 1988 – 35 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

I went to see this one with Bobbie – I wonder whether or not she remembers much about it…

…or whether Bobbie remembers much about Jilly’s party at the latter’s Nether Street residence?

I think it was at this particular Jilly party that I had a long conversation with one of Jilly’s scientist friends about nuclear fusion technologies, which we reprised some 20-25 years later at a subsequent Jilly gathering.

A full and enjoyable evening.

Dinner With John White, 11 January 1989

John’s a good fellow. John will be able to read my hieroglyphics.

If John is unable to read my hieroglyphics, he will nevertheless remember the occasion vividly and remind me where we went that evening and what we did/ate.

Or if by some fluke John cannot remember exactly what we did a mere 29 years ago, I’m sure his diary will reveal more secrets about the evening than mine.

We met at 6:30 in the evening. I can say that with authority.

I didn’t stumble across this page while looking for something else and think “wtf does that say”…I really did, very specifically want to write up that particular evening…honest guv.

The preceding week, the only item of note was my visit to mum and dad’s place for dinner on the Saturday. My surge of social activity between completing my accountancy finals and settling down at Binders replaced by a more austere “work hard” lifestyle. Not least because I didn’t have that much spare dosh at first, with most of my pay going on rent and driving lessons to pay for. Must have done something for new years eve I’d have thought, but it’s not recorded, so lost in the mists of time.

The Last Week Of December 1988

A person with a watch knows the time. A person with two watches can never sure what the time is.

But the “two diaries” bit seems to work out OK in this instance, with the old diary showing my Christmas activities and the new one showing that I started my “work during Twixtmas” tradition long ago.

25 December 1988: Ma Pa and G Jenny for tea, Benjamins for dinner. Stayed Ma and Pas.

Thinking about the logistics of all this – I think mum and dad must have picked up Grandma Jenny in Surbiton, brought her to my flat for tea (possibly the first time they saw Clanricarde Gardens and in Grandma Jenny’s case quite possibly the only time). At Doreen and Stanley Benjamin’s in Putney we were possibly joined by Jane and Lisa and one or both of their respective beau’s/future husbands if they were around at that time. Also Doreen’s mum, Jessie Jackson, would have been there if she was still with us in 1988.

26 December 1988: Lunch at Ma and Pas returned home early evening

No record in either diary of what I did on the bank holiday Tuesday nor the Wednesday. Perhaps I was so knackered by the activities of the preceding few weeks that i simply took the opportunity to work soft and play soft.

The diary marking SCF for 29 and 30 December shows that I went to Save The Children Fund in Camberwell those two days.

Ten Days Spent, Primarily, Eating And Drinking, 15 to 24 December 1988

If you simply go by my diary notes, I spent the ten days in the run up to Christmas eating and drinking that year. What’s changed/who knew?

I’m going to be a bit light on details with several of these:

Thursday 15 December: Went over to Bobbies for dinner

I’ll guess that there were other people involved, but the diaries are silent on the matter, beyond the above information

Friday 16 December: Went to Ma and Pa for dinner

One thing I do remember about this visit was me gently but firmly letting mum know that, now that I’d moved to Notting Hill, I wasn’t suddenly going to be making Friday evening visits for family dinner a regular thing.

Saturday 17 December: Driving lesson. Annalisa came over for meal in evening

That was my second driving lesson in Notting Hill (I’d had one the previous Saturday). I think that meal I cooked for Annalisa that evening might well have been the first time I cooked for someone other than myself at Clanricarde Gardens. No idea what I cooked for her. There are some Thai recipes on my jotter but I can see, from the context of the other notes, that those were jotted after Christmas, probably after I discovered Tawana.

Monday 19 December: Driving lesson in evening.

My instructor in Notting Hill Gate was a gentle fellow. I remember his girlfriend (or wife) was an orchestra musician from East Germany and he spent much of our chatting time railing against the Honecker regime, little knowing how close we were to its demise.

Tuesday 20 December: Bobbie came over for meal in evening

This might well have been the first time I cooked for Bobbie at Clanricarde. This will have been a meatier affair than cooking for Annalisa and/but probably a simpler meal being an after work job rather than a weekend job.

Wednesday 21 December: Radius lunch in afternoon. BHMC [Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants] & drinks after work

I cannot remember exactly who Radius were, but I am guessing that they were a software supplier. That week, and the week before, I had switched away from Save The Children Fund (who wanted me to return to do most of my assignment in the new year, after their massive Christmas Appeal surge was over), so I joined colleague/mentor Lars Schiphorst at Holland & Holland. My guess is that I was brought in at that place to look at the financial/accounting systems aspects of a project long since forgotten by all involved.

Thinking about Lars, who, despite having to tolerate teaming with me on that assignment and others, went on to be a good friend for several years at Binders before he emigrated to Australia…I wondered if it would be possible to trace Lars 30 years later.

Yes. Thank you, Mr Google.

Here he is at the Australian Institute For Performance Studies in December 2018 – click here…

…or click here, where I have scraped the relevant page at the time, if you get no joy on the AIPS site above.

Lars Schiphorst – ludicrously still recognisable/barely changed all these years later.

Friday 23 December: Pub lunch with BHMC mob – little work after

The thing I remember most about that lunch was chatting with Geoffrey Rutland, RIP, who was especially friendly, welcoming and helpful with advice. He also turned out, strangely, like myself, to have been a former scholarship boy at Alleyn’s – although in his case a few years earlier.

Actually I remember everyone at Binders being friendly and welcoming that December – I felt quite at home in that firm quite rapidly, despite the fact that I knew I had been recruited as canon fodder in a turf war between a handful of partners.

Binder Hamlyn Management Consultants Christmas Lunch Virtually All Day, 14 December 1988

The headline captures the text from that Wednesday and that one sentence tells much of the tale.

The so-called lunch was at The Bleeding Heart that year. It is still a top notch place. Writing 30 years later, although I don’t go there all that often I have been quite recently:

Dinner With John White At The Bleeding Heart, 13 June 2017

But I digress.

Michael Mainelli had clearly made a special point of locating me near to his place. He conducted a rather unsubtle sort-of interview over the hours of the event. I had been hired despite Michael, not by him nor under his auspices, but while he was away on holiday for a week, somewhat in contravention of his request to the other partners not to hire anyone while he was away. So he was checking me out big time those first few months. History suggests I passed the test.

Reduced To Tears By My First Consultancy Assignment, 27 January 1989

I do also remember Peter Flory (who was my mentor on the Save The Children Fund project) “going off on one” afterwards, because he thought it inappropriate for Michael to grill me in that way at a staff party. It is my first proper memory of meeting Michael, although he is pretty sure we had a quick chat a couple of weeks earlier, when I first arrived at Binders.

I think I might have endeared myself to William Casey at that event too, by recognising and praising his choice of wine, Chateau Musar, which one or two less knowledgeable folk had been sniffy about, imagining “cheap Lebanese wine”. Oh no, this is (and was then) top notch stuff and a good food match too.

ChateauMusar1999

It clearly was a very lengthy and boozy affair. I remember little else about it. I would love to hear from others who might remember some factoids about hat particular occasion. We lunched at the Bleeding Heart for Christmas several times.

Orpheus Descending by Tennessee Williams, Theatre Royal Haymarket, With Jilly, Followed By Annalisa’s Party, 10 December 1988

Obviously I was better from my 48 hours of food poisoning by the Saturday. I’m pretty sure I went in to work on the Friday and then a full weekend of activities.

Now I have had written complaints from Jilly already about my handwriting, so the above page is only for artistic effect. Here is the entry for the Saturday:

Saturday 10 December: Driving lesson & Orpheus Descending With Jilly & Annalisa Party

There – that wasn’t so challenging, now, was it?

I remember really liking this play and production. What a fabulous cast.

The Theatricalia website lists the production thus.

Note that we saw this production three days before the stated first performance, so Jilly and I must have gone to see a preview.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington on OrpheusBillington on Orpheus Thu, Dec 15, 1988 – 28 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Kate Kellaway’s Observer review

Kate Kellaway on OrpheusKate Kellaway on Orpheus Sun, Dec 18, 1988 – 40 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

They made a film based on that Peter Hall production with some (but not all) of the cast we saw in it. Here is the trailer for that movie – far more melodramatic looking than the stage production I remember, but still it should give you some idea:

For that particular evening, I’m sure that the original idea was that Bobbie would join me to see this play/production. But when she had to pull out for some reason, it made a great deal of sense for Jilly to act as sub, especially as we were both invited to Annalisa’s party and were given leave to be fashionably late arrivals.

In truth, I cannot remember specific details of this particular party at Annalisa’s place in Hinde Street, but her parties were always popular, always lavish in hospitality and always late nighters. At that time, just a couple of years after Annalisa had finished at Keele, I suspect it was a very Keeley crowd that night.

As the diary says, on the Sunday, I:

…went to G Jenny with Ma & Pa…

…the next day, quite probably a little tiredly and sore-headedly. But Grandma Jenny no doubt wanted to know all about my new flat and my new job, so I’ll guess that I was centre of attention that Sunday afternoon.

Keep On Running: What Should Have Been My First Full Working Week At Binders, 5 to 9 December 1988

Here’s the first diary page from that week:

For those with limited ability to read clear, plain handwriting:

Monday 5 December: Started at SCF [Save The Children Fund] today.

Went to HCJA [High Court Journalists Association] dinner with B [Bobbie] in evening


I recall that HCJA dinner being rather good. I think we heard Joshua Rozenberg speak on that occasion.

M&P [Ma & Pa] return

Went to Mum & Dad for dinner (Italian)

There is a notebook page that is somewhat of a confession, or perhaps even incriminating evidence about that evening:

Well, I’m pretty sure that mother would have WANTED to be relieved of some tea towels rather than have me do without. I’m 99% sure mum voluntarily gave me the towels and that she declined to have me replace them.

The Italian meal will have been at Il Carretto in Streatham Hill – the only reference to which I can find on line is here:

…scraped to here just in case that reference dies.

Anyway, let’s not cast blame around here, but I did eat mussels that evening (perhaps a mistake) and I was tripping out on tiredness after several weeks of relentlessly pushing myself.

Wednesday 7 December: Laid up with chronic food poisoning

Thursday 8 December: Stayed off work again today

Thus, the bloke who had only previously taken time off work sick once, when he was grounded for letting flu turn to bronchitis, was now off sick in his first full week of a new job.

Ouch.

I think I soldiered in on the Friday.

My First Weekend At Clanricarde: Encountering Van Morrison, Single Spies by Alan Bennett, National Theatre, With Bobbie & Bridge At Pam & Michael’s Place, 3 & 4 December 1988

Saturday 3 December: Much sorting to do re flat – went to see Single Spies in eve – B came back to mine

My appointments diary informs me that my Zanussi washing machine was delivered to the flat that morning. I remember going for my first local shopping expedition after the machine arrived.

I am fairly sure that it was on that very first Saturday’s shopping spree that I found myself face-to-face with Van Morrison on the traffic island which divides the north from the south side of the Bayswater Road. We exchanged glances. I nodded, in as much of a “cool, nodding acquaintance” manner as I could muster.

Van-Morrison

I remember thinking that the Van encounter proved that I had really arrived in a hip, happening place – I was going to be rubbing shoulders with Van Morrison and people of that sort all the time from now on. Well, to some extent I suppose I have got to meet quite a lot of such media folk in the neighbourhood since, but that traffic island encounter with Van the Man was, sadly, a one-off. “No Van is an island”, I suppose.

Single Spies is actually two Alan Bennett plays: An Englishman Abroad and A Question Of Attribution. Both are about the Cambridge Spy Ring. The first of the two plays had been knocking around for a few years before this production – it is primarily about actress Coral Browne’s encounters with Guy Burgess. The second play was about Anthony Blunt’s role as art advisor to the Queen.

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry.

According to the National Theatre’s historical notes, A Question of Attribution contained:

the first representation on the British stage of a living monarch, in a scene in which Sir Anthony Blunt has a discussion with ‘HMQ’.

Prunella Scales and Simon Callow played the leads in both plays. I think this was the first time I saw Prunella Scales on stage, although she had seen me ponce about in tights some 10 years earlier:

Twelfth Night, Alleyn’s School, 12, 14, 15 & 16 December 1978

I thought the production (Single Spies, I mean, not Twelfth Night) was very good and said so in my notes. I’m pretty sure Bobbie liked the production too. I think we might have eaten at the National that evening – I can’t believe that I was geared up to cook yet at Clanricarde.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington on Single SpiesBillington on Single Spies Sat, Dec 3, 1988 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Ratcliffe’s Observer review:

Ratcliffe on SpiesRatcliffe on Spies Sun, Dec 4, 1988 – 44 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Sunday 4 December: Went to Pam & Michael’s in eve for dinner and bridge

I wonder who made the fourth for bridge that evening? It was before my irregular social group had emerged, so it wouldn’t have been Andrea on that occasion. I’ll guess it was a friend of Pam & Michael’s – perhaps one of the Setty/Gareh family or possibly it was Ralph Glasser. The diary is silent on such details – never mind.

I’ll have walked there and back, learning that Clanricarde Gardens to Pam & Michael’s place only takes around 15 minutes on foot. Cool.