Ian Louis Harris

Holiday In La Manga, Spain, With Mum And Dad, 21 August To 4 September 1976

This turned out to be our last family summer holiday together. The following year dad was brassic (skint) so we just did some day trips and stuff, e.g. Greenwich:

Visits To Greenwich and Brighton With Mum and Dad, 29 to 31 August 1977

Then the year after that, I did BBYO camps while mum and dad went off and did their own thing early autumn.

I turned 14 on this La Manga holiday and I do remember feeling, even at that tender age, that I had sort of outgrown those family holidays. I sensed that mum and dad wanted some prime time together and I was no longer intrigued by going off and doing stuff with random youngsters who just happen to be on holiday with you.

We stayed in the Hotel Entremares – not the sort of place I might stay in now, but it is still there and looks OK. Mixed reviews now.

The hotel (and to some extent the resort) was brand new then and I suspect my dad picked up a late booking at low cost for a place that hadn’t yet gained a reputation.

Clearly we were treated like visiting celebrities:

There is a movie for this holiday which, believe it or not, actually did yield some “famous for 15 minutes material” many years later, when Visa rewarded me handsomely enough and used some clips in one of their adverts and vines. Here is the whole movie:

Here’s the Visa ad, which shows dad slapping on the tanning oil:

While here is a link to the Vine (remember those) of me and mum looking silly on a pedalo.

This blond girl features in the movie too. I wonder whether I had latched on to the blond girl or whether she had latched on to me. Rohan Candappa probably wants me to track her down and write a story about her.

In those days La Manga was positioning itself for tennis in particular…

…but latterly (he says writing in February 2019) it has superb cricket facilities by all accounts – at least Middlesex CCC bowlers have just toddled off there to train.

In fact it was reading about Middlesex training in La Manga that made me reach for the 1976 file and Ogblog this holiday.

1976 was the cricketing year the the West indies thrashed England in every conceivable way. I missed the ODI thrashings by being in La Manga.

It also looks as though I missed a thrilling London derby at The Oval too – click here for the scorecard. I do like a match with a happy ending…

…and a season with a happy ending too – see the 1976 final table. So hopefully La Manga will be auspicious for Middlesex again in 2019.

Here is the full stack of photos from our 1976 family jaunt:

Guest Piece by David Wellbrook: The Long Hot Summer Of ’76 – Recollections Of A 14-Year-Old With Special Appearance By A Lunatic Frenchman, c1 July 1976

With many thanks to David Wellbrook for this “guest piece”, lifted (with David’s permission) from his posting in the Alleyn’s 1970s Facebook Group – worth a visit if you are able for the comments – click here.

The Alleyn’s School water polo boys on a more appropriate pool mission

THE LONG HOT SUMMER OF ’76 – RECOLLECTIONS OF A 14-YEAR-OLD WITH SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY A LUNATIC FRENCHMAN

It was a stormy Thursday afternoon (are there any others?). Me, myself, and three others who shall remain nameless (Chris Grant, Ben Clayson and Kevin Blythe), were chortling over Paul Hayes’ Freudian slip from earlier. He had inadvertently called Miss Lynch “Mum” and we were marvelling at how well they had kept their relationship secret and for so long. All six of us were amazed at the audacity of the lad and thoughts were now turning to the identity of the father. Bob Skelly, Percy Kingman and Mrs. Barden were put forward for consideration but we were unable to agree. Each candidate received five votes and so we were at stalemate. After much deliberation, we opted for the time-honoured tie-breaker of rock, paper, scissors and as you might have expected, it landed on tails. (Doesn’t it always?) So, decision made, Dave Stretton it was then. Let’s face it, he must have inherited his cool from somewhere.

But I digest. To our gullible Frenchman: It was around this time that Chris used to import young French boys for his amusement and this particular lost soul went by the name of Gotier. He had, I believe, been imported once before, so having met us now on more than one occasion, really ought to have known better. However, we all found ourselves down at the swimming pool. It was a natural hangout for those of us who liked to swim and play water polo and seemed even more appropriate on what was quite possibly a very hot day. Gotier was sweating profusely. I think he knew what Chris had planned for later. He kept muttering strange French words under his breath. “Baguette” was a particular favourite of his I seem to recall. Anyhow, one of us happened upon the anarchic idea of enticing Gotier to jump into the swimming pool fully clothed, and on the strict understanding that he then had to travel home with us to Beckenham et les environs completement mouille.

“How much shall we offer him?” asked Clayson. “How much do we have on us?” asked Blythe. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” enquired Grant, forever and to this day our moral compass. He perhaps felt that if there was any dampness involved it should be of his making and no other. “Yes, it’s a cracking idea,” I chipped in. “And let’s make him cry Vive la France as he goes under.”

We gathered our resources and came up with the tidy sum of £4 and a few pence. We approached the hapless Gotier with our proposal and having explained to him that with exchange rates being as they were at the time, that £4 and a few pence was uncommonly generous, he agreed.

And so the stage was set. I was elected to distract Harry Whale and Alan Berry, who at that precise moment were taking it in turns to slipper a 12-year-old, whilst the others were assigned the arduous task of pacing out Gotier’s run up. And then the moment arrived. With a Gallic scream of “Un, deux, trois, allez…!” Gotier was off, legging it poolwards as if he had not a care in the world. He leapt, he might even have somersaulted I honestly can’t remember, and there was a mighty splash followed by the gurgled incantation of “Vive la France, Vive la France.” Let’s give the boy his due. He did not let us down. Good for him. Only honourable Frenchman I’ve ever met.

Gotier was duly rewarded with his £4 and a few pence which he kindly used to buy us Maynards wine gums and Coca Cola down by Herne Hill station.

To this day, that incident (which is 100% true by the way), is my most vivid recollection of the Summer of ’76. That and being arrested for shoplifting in Millets.

Another day perhaps…

When Fellow Pupil Sandy Rowswell Challenged Our Alleyn’s Schoolmaster Stephen “Mr Murder” Jenkins On The Veracity Of His Tales Of Visiting Tibet, Possibly Spring 1976

Stephen Jenkins was an Alleyn’s schoolmaster whose reputation preceded him. By the time my cohort entered his orbit, in the mid 1970s, he had a reputation for telling long-winded tales of psychic happenings, visits to far-flung places, UFOs, extra-sensory perception, ley lines…

…his 1977 book, The Undiscovered Country, can still be obtained from sellers of rare second hand books for under £100 at the time of writing (February 2020), a snip at the price I’m sure but I shall personally pass on that one. I’ve scraped one of the product descriptions to here in case the above link ceases to work…

…in short, he’d talk in lessons about pretty much anything other than the subject he was meant to be teaching.

“During the war…have I told you this anecdote before?…anyway…”

So why in the name of all that is good and pure was this fellow allocated to my third year class, 3BJ, to abstain from teaching us not just one but two key subjects; English and history?

Strangely and despite Stephen Jenkins contrary efforts, many of us managed to bounce back up to the A-stream after 3BJ. In my case, I ended up with Jenkins again, I think for history ‘O’Level (perhaps it was English – it really is impossible to recall what Jenkins was supposed to be teaching us) when I was in 4AT/5AT, so this anecdote about Sandy Rowswell might have happened a year or two later than I am guessing.

I should add, to avoid confusion, that the Alleyn’s Stephen Jenkins died some years ago and has nothing to do with the impressive LSE Professor of Social Policy who inadvertently shares his name.

Anyway, I clearly recall an incident in class when the Alleyn’s Stephen Jenkins was waxing lyrical about his latest trip to Tibet.

The incident has been brought back to my mind lately, because I have been Ogblogging the rather wonderful though gruelling trip that Janie and I made to Tibet in 2002 – click here or below for a sample page – feel free to read, look at the eye candy pictures and divert yourself from whatever you are supposed to be doing – it’s what Stephen Jenkins would have wanted:

Nepal, Tibet & Kerala Day Eight: Gyantse To Shigatse, 14 April 2002

In truth, I always liked Mr Jenkins’s tales of far-flung travel the best. I found the psychic and UFO stories hard to believe, I found the idea of ley-lines intriguing but unconvincing, but I did enjoy the tales from his travels. They were believable, enviable even…and I felt I was learning something useful…even if it wasn’t particularly useful for the purposes of progressing to O-level English or history.

Anyway, during a long Stephen Jenkins anecdote about his recent visit to Tibet, Sandy Rowswell chimed in by saying words to the effect of,

“sir, I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that you have ever been to Tibet.”

There was a hush in the classroom. One glance at Stephen Jenkins’s face and the self-styled sobriquet “Mr Murder” now looked very apt. Sandy Rowswell was ejected from the class and told in no uncertain terms that his punishment would be swift and merciless afterwards.

It seemed such a daft challenge to me. Of all the things Mr Jenkins waffled on about, the travels element was the only manifestly plausible aspect.

I don’t think Sandy Rowswell really got the idea of overseas travel…nor the idea of tempering one’s remarks about a subject whether one “gets it” or not.

My only other recollection of him was for another ill-considered remark, in 1979, soon after we confirmed that I was to join Anil Biltoo and his family in Mauritius that summer – a wonderful, life-changing experience for me that cemented a love of travel:

Confirmed Mauritius, The Overcrowded Barracoon, 10 April 1979

I recall Sandy Rowswell approaching me and saying,

I hear you are going to Mauritius with Biltoo this summer?

When I confirmed that fact, Sandy Rowswell replied,

You wouldn’t catch me going to a place like that, having to stay in mud huts.

I laughed and shrugged it off, but word of this exchange must have reached Anil Biltoo from other sources, because Anil sheepishly raised the matter with me, pointing out that his family did not live in mud huts. I recall telling Anil that I really didn’t mind what sort of accommodation we’d be having.

There is a rumour that Sandy Rowswell went into the diplomatic service after leaving Alleyn’s. OK, the source of that rumour is the preceding sentence of this article, but a rumour is a rumour.

Returning to the Tibet veracity incident, I have no real reason to assume it took place on 18 May 1976, but while skimming my diary for clues, I did enjoy the entry for that day.

Great tennis won 6-4 6-4 with Driscoll.

Does that mean I beat Paul Driscoll 6-4 6-4 at singles, or does it mean that, partnering with Paul Driscoll, we beat some unfortunate others 6-4, 6-4? There is only one person in the entire world who might possibly remember the event (because I sure as hell cannot) – so I’m shouting out to Paul who will no doubt confirm a similar blank on this one. He probably doesn’t even remember that there was no water polo the next day, despite water polo having been far more his thing than mine..

But I am now digressing more than a typical Stephen Jenkins lesson. Click the link below for a chance to buy Stephen Jenkins book – you know you want to.

A Week At Alleyn’s School Featuring Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance by John Arden, 23 to 29 November 1975

Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance was the first Alleyn’s School play to feature its own girls. The school had just started to take sixth-form girls that year.

I am not writing up this “50 years ago” series with a view to running contemporary parallels, nor am I reading my juvenile diaries in advance of writing the next episode.

It therefore came as a pleasant surprise today (21 April 2026) to stumble across the Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance reference, as, just the other day, I spent time at Lord’s with John Fry – brother of Tom Fry, who played the eponymous lead in 1975.

John might choose to extract and share some memories and 50-years-ago reflections on that production from his brother Tom.

I’m delighted to be able to report that my two word diary review of the 1975 production was:

Excellent performances.

That indicates, as I remember it, that I thought more of the production than I did of the play. I am pretty sure that my parents profoundly disliked the play and wondered why it had been chosen.

I have subsequently read most of Arden’s plays and tried hard to get my head around them. My conclusion is that I like the idea of Arden’s plays and the ideas in them, far more than I like them as works of drama that I could imagine enjoying on the stage.

According to Michael Lempriere’s Scribblerus review, the original idea had been to produce Julius Caesar, but that was cancelled for technical reasons. Possibly the fear of Alleyn’s School kids inappropriately shouting from the audience, “infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me” and such like, at key moments during the drama.

More seriously, and with far more balance than my two-word review, here is Michael Lempriere’s review in full:

As is the case for almost all of that term of school, the rest of my week is only sparsely covered in my diary:

Allow me to translate:

Sunday, 23 November 1975 – classes good. Feld’s row [This might have been an early rebellion by Grandma Anne in the matter of Mr Feld’s borscht tasting watery and her accusation that he was watering it down]. (Fortunately?) won 10p [at kalooki]. TV Upstairs Downstairs

Monday, 24 November 1975 – OK. TV Goodies, Waltons.

Tuesday, 25 November 1975 – all OK. Great film (mouse film) [The Mouse On the Moon], Musical Time Machine.

Wednesday, 26 November 1975 – all OK. CCF great. Went to Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance. Excellent performances. [The irony of CCF being great ahead of seeing Sergeant Musgrave’s Dance might have been wasted on me then but is not wasted on me now].

Thursday, 27 November 1975 – drama good. TV $6 Million Man, Get Some In, Q6

Friday, 28 November 1975 – all OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Pot Black, Porridge

Saturday, 29 November 1975 – school OK. TV Jerry Lewis film, very good. [3 Ring] Circus.

Half Term, Then Three More Weeks At Alleyn’s With Little To Say About School, Late October To Late November 1975

Alleyn’s School in 1922- OK it wasn’t THAT long ago

I really was saying very little in my diaries at that time, apart from documenting my TV viewing, which perhaps hold some interest for some readers.

I was clearly still enjoying drama and tried to enjoy CCF, despite not really being the type. I vaguely recall being made to try a bit of rugby that year, which I absolutely hated and Alleyn’s was in fact ill equipped to play. I think it was an experiment based on the notion that, once the school went co-ed, its chances of shining at football would be much diminished.

I recall trying to avoid house rugby as much as possible by playing fives whenever I could, but I had obviously resolved almost to stop writing about my sporting activities that term.

I wasn’t listening to much popular music that year, either. But the following song was an earworm then and can become an earworm again for you if you let it. It does remind me of that time and brings some of the vague memories back.

Listen while you skim my almost content-free diary entries. You’ll need something to stimulate the senses.

Sunday, 26 October 1975– Classes OK. Went to Felds. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday 27 October 1975 – nice day. TV Goodies, Waltons, Ghost Story.

Tuesday 28 October 1975 – OK, had haircut. Benny Hill great. Dr No!!! [This was the first time that film was shown on UK television, so it will have seemed like a big deal. Hence the exclamation marks!!!]

Wednesday, 29 October 1975 – went to Grandma Jenny. TV Carry On Cleo, Rule Britannia, Cooper, Face the music.

Thursday, 30 October 1975 – all OK. $6 million man, Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 31 October 1975 – mum went to hospital. Bonfire. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 1 November 1975 – all OK. Went with “Auntie” Winifred [neighbour] with dogs. TV Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Sunday 2 November 1975 – classes OK, lunch at Felds, mum and dad went out.

Monday 3 November 1975 – went back to school. TV Goodies, Waltons.

Tuesday, 4 November 1975 – all OK TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 5 November 1975 – good speaker? TV Carry On Screaming, Cooper, Face The Music, Till Death Us Do Part.

Thursday, 6 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Ken Dodd, Get Some In, Q6.

Friday, 7 November 1975 – OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 8 November 1975 – OK. TV Doctor Who, Basil Brush, Dick Emery, early night

Sunday, 9 November 1975 – classes play. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs, FBI Story.

Monday 10 November 1975 – all OK TV, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 11 November 1975 – swimming good. TV film good James Garner, Debbie Reynolds [How Sweet It Is (1968)].

Wednesday, 12 November 1975 – lecture. CCF good. TV Carry On Spying, Cooper, Rule Britannia, Face The Music.

Thursday 13 November 1975 – drama good. TV $6 million man and Get Some In Q6 is rotten.

Friday, 14 November 1975 – music good. TV Invisible Man, Pot Black, Porridge.

Saturday, 15 November 1975 – school. After Grandma Anne. TV Dick Emery, Kojak

Sunday, 16 November 1975 – went to Southend. Dined at El Cordola. TV Carry On Laughing, Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 17 November 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Odie v good, Waltons – a goodie goodie program.

Tuesday, 18 November 1975 – got cold. TV Big Film – platinum robbery [The Biggest Bundle Of Them All], Musical Time Machine.

Wednesday, 19 November 1975 – all OK. Mum and Dad went out. TV Superstars and Cooper, played Monopoly. [Unnamed babysitter will have been one of the Aarons youngsters, almost certainly].

Thursday, 20 November 1975 – OK. Drama good. TV $6 million man, Get Some In, Q6, Miss World, Fiddler onto recorder. [That will be Cyril Barnet’s recording of Fiddler On the Roof in Yiddish.]

Friday, 21 November 1975 evening rows. [Must have been a family gathering at Grandma Anne’s I think. Unless we had our own mini domestic. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Pot Black, Sykes, Porridge.

Saturday 22 November 1975 – exeat. Morning table tennis [that must be at Andy Levinson’s place]. Evening saw Iolanthe. [Was this at school or was it at Sadler’s Wells? I can find no reference to it in Scriblerus, nor in a press search for autumn 1975 come to that].

I could use a bit of help with writing up this period. Any memories from people who were in my orbit at that time will be gratefully received.

Four Term Time Weeks: Little Of Note Except For Mystery Operations & Leaflets With Mr Jenkins & Controversy Over Controversy, Late September To Late October 1975

Operations? Leaflets? It could only be Mr Jenkins.

I’m hoping that some of my Alleyn’s schoolmates can disambiguate the handful of words in this four week period that might refer to interesting stuff going on at school. Frankly, I’m flummoxed.

Here’s the transcript of my multi-coloured scribbles, mostly documenting my TV viewing, but the passing comments on goings on at school might trigger some memories.

Sunday, 28 September 1975 – Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Just in case anyone wants an explainer for the quirky eatery that was Feld’s – here’s one I wrote earlier.

A Few Days In London Between Keele & Manchester, 14 to 19 December 1980

Monday 29 September 1975 – all OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons.

Tuesday, 30 September 1975 – went swimming. Got cold. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday 1 October 1975 – uneventful day. CCF.

Thursday, 2 October 1975 – did operation leaflet. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 3 October 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 4 October 1975 – Exeat. TV Generation Game, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 5 October 1975 – went to classes. In top class.

Monday, 6 October 1975 – OK. TV Goodies, My Son Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 7 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan.

Wednesday, 8 October 1975 – CCF terrible. -> Callow?. It’s A Knockout best day.

Thursday, 9 October 1975 – drama good. TV Two Ronnie, Man About The House, Morecombe and Wise.

Friday, 10 October 1975 – all OK. TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fawlty Towers.

Saturday, 11 October 1975 all OK. TV big film / Bad Day At Black Rock, Dick Emery.

Sunday, 12 October 1975.– Went to Angela and John’s for tea.

Monday, 13 October 1975 – had more slides from Jenkins. TV Goodies, Reuben, Waltons.

Tuesday, 14 October 1975 – uneventful. Swimming good.

Wednesday, 15 October 1975 – OK. Corps very good. TV It’s a Knockout Final – we came fifth.

Thursday, 16 October 1975 – OK. Delivered leaflets. TV Two Ronnies, Get Some In and Morcombe & Wise.

Friday, 17 October 1975 – speech day, half day. TV Invisible Man, Liver Birds, PC Penrose.

Saturday, 18 October 1975 – OK. TV [Secret Of The] Incas, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 19 October 1975 – classes. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 20 October 1975 – TV Goodies, Waltons, Controversy.

Tuesday, 21 October 1975 – swimming good. TV Tarzan and the Fountain of Youth.

Wednesday, 22 October 1975 – CCF good. TV Carry On Doctor, Rule Britannia, Tommy Cooper & Face The Music.

Thursday, 23 October 1975 – drama good, TV Two Ronnies (last in series), Get Some In, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday, 24 October 1975 – field day (CCF) TV Tom and Jerry, Invisible Man, Sykes, Porridge, Fawlty Towers

Saturday 25 October 1975 Half term. TV Basil Brush, Doctor Who, Bruce Forsyth, Film [Judith], Dick Emery, Kojak, No Honestly.

Here’s my list of questions:

what do I mean by “operation leaflet” on 2 October, “had more slides from Jenkins” on 13 October and “delivered leaflets” on 16 October?;
who was “Callow” – who seems to be the source of my feeling terrible about CCF that day? Parenthetically, I sense that CCF was not for me, but my dad will have told me to “man up” about it, which resulted in me trying to make the most of it after that.

As for Controversy, I remember those programmes. They were compulsory viewing in our household. Here’s a link to an explainer. I have embedded the clip below.

The thing I remember more than anything else about this Controversy programme was my mother’s obsessive hatred of anyone pronouncing that word “contro-versy” rather than, as she asserted, the proper pronunciation, “controver-sy”. I still wouldn’t dare pronounce it the “wrong” way, even to this day – that would be too controversial by far.

Welcome To 3BJ, The First Three Weeks Of My Third Year At Alleyn’s, Ending With My First Sighting Of Fawlty Towers, 7 to 27 September 1975

Mike Jones ponders our imminent arrival in his class – thanks Mike for the photo

I’ve been finding it difficult to start writing up my third year at Alleyn’s; 1975/1976. My diary for the 1974/1975 academic year was full of juicy details of my activities.

But it seems, after all the excitement of my 1975 summer, I returned to school in September 1975 in a different mood – at least in the matter of keeping my diary. I’m needing to rely more on my fading memory for this period of my life and hope for some informed comment from readers.

For example, whereas I wrote down the “cast list” for my 1S and 2AK years, I had “grown out of” doing that by the 3BJ era – which is a blithering shame.

Also, I think I was under the parental…by which I mean maternal…cosh, having made a mess of my year end exams that summer and finding myself in a B stream class. “Get the back up to the A stream,” was the familial message, with some new rules at home to encourage homework and discourage loafing.

You wouldn’t have messed with my mum either. Cruel spectacles.

I’m not convinced that sparse diarising was entirely necessary in my mission to do better at school that year. But the diarising was more sparse and the school results were better.

Here are the first three weeks of September:

I realise that most of that is beyond legibility and/or interpretation, so here goes with my best efforts.

Sunday, 7 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year, day two in this instance].

Monday, 8 September 1975 – uneventful day.

Tuesday, 9 September 1975 – last day [of school holidays. Not the end of the world.] Stuart and Andy [both from our street – Stuart Harris was not a relation and was a Whitgiftian, Andy Levinson was a fellow Alleyn’s pupil].

Wednesday, 10 September 1975 – first day [of school]. 3BJ. Mr Jones.

Thursday, 11 September 1975–1st proper day at school.

Friday, 12 September 1975 – school good. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds.

Saturday, 13 September 1975 – school morn. After library. TV Gambit, Dick Emery, Kojak.

Sunday, 14 September 1975 – Kol Nidre [evening prayers to herald the Day of Atonement] in evening.

Monday, 15 September 1975 – Yom Kippur [Day of Atonement].

Tuesday, 16 September 1975 – catching up only today.

Wednesday, 17 September 1975 – uneventful day. Good results school.

Thursday, 18 September 1975 – more good results. TV $6 million man, Two Ronnies, Man About The House.

Friday, 19 September 1975 – uneventful day. TV Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Stanley Baxter III.

Saturday, 20 September 1975 – school morning. TV Generation Game.

Sunday, 21 September 1975 – no classes. Dined at Feld’s. TV Upstairs Downstairs.

Monday, 22 September 1975 – school OK. TV Goodies, Angels, Waltons etc.

Tuesday, 23 September 1975 – did swimming good. Telepathy. TV Pink Panther

Wednesday, 24 September 1975 – swimming. Went to Aviv meeting [one of mum’s charities. I cannot imagine why I went with her, unless dad had something on that evening and mum didn’t want to fork out for a sitter!].

Thursday, 25 September 1975. Got CCF [Combined Cadet Force] kit. TV Two Ronnies, Man About The House, Morecombe & Wise.

Friday 26 September 1975 – uneventful. TV Invisible Man, Dad’s Army, Liver Birds, Fosters Tower [sic – that can only be Fawlty Towers]

Saturday, 27 September 1975 – school morning. TV Dick Emery, Kojak.

Hard to believe that I didn’t even register the name Fawlty Towers correctly when I first saw it.

It was the episode about The Builders and I remember it tickling me no end. My parents didn’t like it much. Dad found Basil Fawlty irritating, reminding him of some of the twerps he had to deal with in running his business. You can decide for yourselves, if you hadn’t made up your minds already – see embed below.

An Uneventful Week (Apart From Watching The Test) Before Starting My Third Year At Alleyn’s, 1 to 6 September 1975

So much wrong with that technique – but the enthusiasm is there for all to see

After all the excitement of my summer, I went into a very subdued diary mood for some weeks/months after our return.

This diary page, which covers the week between returning from Europe and school restarting, sets the tone.

It barely needs transcribing, but I am a diligent transcriber:

Monday, 1 September 1975 settled in. Watched test. Went to library. [TV] Angels, The High Chaparral.

Tuesday, 2 August 1975 – uneventful day. TV Tarzan, New York, Quo Vadis.

Wednesday, 3 August 1975 – uneventful

Thursday, 4 September 1975 – uneventful

Friday, 5 September 1975 – uneventful

Saturday, 6 September 1975 – Rosh Hashanah [Jewish New Year].

I think we need to do some more forensics on that cricket photo. Here’s a link to the test match scorecard. The umpires were Tom Spencer and Dickie Bird (whom I had the honour and pleasure to meet once – some 40 years after the events of this piece):

A Visit To Leeds For Yorkshire v Middlesex, Headingley, 8 to 10 June 2015

I’m 98% sure that the umpire on the TV screen is Tom Spencer and I’m 100% sure that the wicket-keeper was Rod Marsh, who kept all day that Monday.

The unmistakable stoopy stance of Umpire Spencer on the TV screen.

But who batting? Yes, me, obviously, in front of the screen. I mean on the screen. I have narrowed it down to being John Snow or Barry Wood and I think the answer is John Snow. Cricket lovers – chime in with your thoughts.

It was an unusual match, as they had put aside six days for that Oval test match, used all six but still ended up with a draw.

I sense that even I lost interest after a burst of watching (and having my photo taken), probably quite early on the Monday.

As an only child, one of my favourite pastimes was working out how to play solitaire versions of the board games in my collection. I have no idea what this game was, let alone how I had worked out a solitaire version of it. My favourite solitaire game was my very own version of Cluedo – the conceit of the solitaire version is long-since forgotten but I remember being fascinated by it for some while.

I suspect that the test match was on the TV while I was indulging in this additional activity. In that respect, I don’t suppose I have changed much, although the additional activity has changed.

As for the TV viewing – I don’t remember the TV drama Angels about student nurses at all. But I certainly remember The High Chaparral. My dad was very keen on it too. Do you fancy getting the theme tune stuck in your head – only click the YouTube embed if you do.

On rehearing The High Chaparral theme, it sounds very much like Joe Meek’s extraordinary instrumental Telstar (famously performed by the Tornados), in the style of Elmer Bernstein’s wonderful theme music for The Magnificent Seven.

I learn, on doing a little further research, that the resemblance between The High Chaparral theme and Telstar has been discussed at length over the decades. One surprising thing, to me, is that I didn’t notice the similarity when Paul Deacon first played me Telstar, which must have been around or very soon after my High Chaparral watching era.

Ironically and tragically, Joe Meek never saw the royalties for Telstar, as a French composer, Jean Ledrut, sued Meek for plagiarism – without success but to some extent understandably – on account of La Marche d’Austerlitz.

Meek died just three weeks before that law suit was found in his favour. Thus he never got a chance to test his own claim against David Rose, who composed The High Chaparral theme, if indeed Meek would have chosen to try such a claim.

Thoughts on these matters will, as always, be much appreciated, whether from my contemporaries or indeed from anyone who stumbles across this page and has a view on any of these topics.

A Short Mediterranean Cruise, Stopping At Malta, Catania (Instead Of Tunis), Palermo & Naples/Pompeii, 24 to 31 August 1975

We’d done a serious (two week) cruising holiday in 1973:

A Two Week Mediterranean Cruise Ahead Of Starting At Alleyn’s School, late August 1973 – Context, Itinerary, Links & Day Zero: Porto di Rimini via Luton Airport

Clearly that experienced had pleased me/us sufficiently that dad snapped up a one week cruise as a second half to our holiday in 1975. Frankly, my memories of the 1975 one pale into insignificance next to the 1973 one.

The fact that I have not, in 50+ years, returned to a cruise ship might give the reader a clue that ships and me don’t really get along. I marvelled at seeing lots of places in a short period of time, but I think the novelty wore off, for me, and my folks, once the second cruise was done.

My diary sets out the itinerary pretty well – almost legibly:

This is how I know that I shot some, sadly lost forever, cine film on that 1975 cruise. AI recognises this panorama as Malta.

I remember very little about the day in Malta.

I don’t remember much about the pal I made on this trip. This evening picture is a bit weird.

I do remember the disappointment at missing out on seeing Tunis, due to an outbreak of cholera there. All the more disappointing because we docked instead in Catania, on the eastern side of Sicily, near to Taormina, where we had holidayed the previous year.

As a result, I don’t think we did any touring that day, saving our energy for the next day’s scheduled stop in Palermo, on the other side of Sicily, which we had not explored the previous year.

I recall from our 1974 holiday in Taormina (which I shall Ogblog in the fulness of time), that a brace of young American women, who were staying in our hotel, ventured to Palermo one day and my dad asked them to report back to us, as he was considering booking a day trip for us. Their one line report was:

You can put Palermo in the trash can…

…which still sticks in my mind, albeit as an unfair assessment, but in 1975 I was possibly a little deflated to be visiting, on my birthday, a place that, by all accounts, belonged in the trash can.

Perhaps consequently, dad arranged for us to tour places near to Palermo but not Palermo itself, if the surviving photos are anything to go by.

Afficionados of mid 1970s fashion will surely dig the flared trousers I wore that day. Photos of all earlier days on that holiday had me in short trousers. I’m guessing that mum took no risks for a day in or near “trash can Palermo” and insisted that I wore longer trousers as a preventative measure against flea bites. More likely, the day of touring in Malta had probably highlighted that long trousers would make more sense than shorts when touring.

Give it up one more time for those flares of mine. Classic.

It looks as though we celebrated my birthday in style…with fizz for the grwon ups and cake for me and the grown ups.

Not sure about that short, tie and trousers combo. Mum – what were you thinking?

The final day of touring was the highlight – to see Pompeii. My parents had been before – dad’s 1961 sound film from that holiday being a classic of it’s kind. Pompeii is c3’10 to 5’25.

No film from our trip, sadly, just a handful of snaps:

Me, Live At The Apollo (Temple of Apollo)

My diary excitement the following day, which was all at sea, comes in the phrase

Captain’s Dinner Great.

I understand this to be a traditional thing on cruises and I obviously took great joy in the luxury of it and the fuss that was being made of me as a birthday boy at the Captain’s Table.

My 31 August diary entry simply reads:

Arrived home. Great!!!!!!

Glad to be on dry land, perhaps? Anyway, that was cruises out of my system for good. 50 years on, I still haven’t done another and don’t suppose I ever will.

Photos from this holiday can be found in two Flickr albums – this first one scans of prints – click here or below:

…or this one, which is still raw stereo images at this stage – click here or below:

A Week In Dubrovnik, Yugoslavia, In The Hotel Argentina, Prior To A Short Mediterranean Cruise, 17 to 23 August 1975

Dad had almost certainly booked this holiday from a bucket shop using whatever paltry savings he had left after shelling out for my Bar Mitzvah. I suspect he got good bang for his bucks on this one, holding out until the price became too tempting for him.

The diary sheds little light…

…but we do have some photos and cine. Not much – I think dad (and mum)’s enthusiasm for holiday photos and the like had waned by 1975. Still, we have a few prints, a short snippet of cine and a box of stereo photographs, all of which I have digitised but I have not yet (end 2025) turned the individual images from the stereo box into digital stereo images.

Also, we have my memories of the place – assisted by the pictures.

I think this young man might have been East German. A lot of the people we met at that hotel were.

I communicated with a lot of the younger people (who were mostly East German, Yugoslavian or Russian) through chess and cards.

I’m pretty sure this patient gentleman is/was English – or at least spoke excellent English – my parents got pally with him and his wife.

Please note the writing pad with a posh-looking floral cover. Dad had bought up a job lot of those, which he thought might serve me well as a budding scribbler for quite some time.

31 December 2025 – the one I am looking at has family genealogy notes in it and is still in use with many pages left, as is/has the orange one behind, which contains some comedy and whimsy writing notes, with plenty of space still for more. Also to my right, the writing box, Bar Mitzvah gift mentioned in my article about the Bar Mitzvah itself – propped open with a bag of biros..

By this stage of my then short life (I was still not yet 13), I clearly fancied myself as a hand-held cinematographer, following in my father’s footsteps:

We have, from this holiday, four-and-a-half minutes of cine, all of which is either filmed in Dubrovnik itself (when we went there on the Wednesday) or in and around the hotel. It can be seen minutes 7’20 to 11’50 on this reel:

Confusingly, we had been to Dubrovnik at the end of our 1973 cruise, so you can also see Dubrovnik at the start of this reel.

Sadly, no film from the 1975 cruise survived. I know I shot some, but suspect that the film got spoilt by getting caught in the camera or inadvertently exposed to light prior to process. That used to happen sometimes.

I also have a few impressionistic memories from our week in the Hotel Argentina.

I really liked the place. It seemed really cool – especially the great big round leather chairs and ceiling lamps – that felt futuristic/Star Trek like to me at that time. It just looks quintessentially 1970s to me now.

There was a strange late middle-aged East German resident who used to walk around the hotel all day and would occasionally approach people who were talking, put his finger to his lips and say, with a thick German accent:

Shhhh – there is sickness here.

Dad thought he was probably on temporary respite release from a nut house. (Dad’s choice of phraseology – I am merely reporting it to you, dear reader, not approving my father’s choice of terms). I was fascinated by this bloke and used to look forward to his unexpected interventions.

For years afterwards, if I was making more noise than dad wanted to hear, he would put his finger to his lips and incant, “shhh, zer is sickness here” in his best mock-German accent.

You can see all of the scanned prints from this holiday through this Flickr link – here and below:

The unedited stereo slides (in their raw and multiple form) can be seen through the following Flickr link – here and below:

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